10/31/13

Cartoon : Eric Allie


Barack Obama's Diary: Boo to you, too

Dear Diary:   The Health.gov site and the NSA spying have brought me unbearable anxiety.  This afternoon I decided it was time to try out my rare pakalolo, Blueberry Yum Yum, grown under lights in my new subterranean bunker and tended by my 'trip' director  Marvelous Marv Nicolson.  I rolled a fat joint of the curious blue-tinted weed, called the dogs and threw a Frisbee for them. As they ran, I lit the joint and inhaled deeply. The smoke was fascinating, smelling strongly of blueberries. But then the drug kicked in. It was like igniting  one of those backpack jets  favored by James Bond.  I burst into song:
 "I  believe I can fly. 
I believe I can touch the sky
One of the problems of being President is what to do with your kids  on an occasion like Halloween. We can't just go knocking on random doors. This year we answered the problem by arranging for the Bidens to spend the early evening at their official residence in DC, so Malia and Sasha could dress up in weird costumes  ring the doorbell and hopefully get some chocolate. Still high as a kite on Blueberry Yum Yum, I went with them and a Secret Service detail. We stood well back as the kids rang the doorbell. When the door opened, they yelled:  "Trick or Treat."  At first, fueled by the weed,  I laughed uproariously, but then I got a good look at the man's face  in the porch light and my blood turned to ice.  It was Putin!   Aauuugh!  I screamed and I turned and  fled down the driveway with my Secret Service detail  in hot pursuit, "Sir! Sir!" they cried. " It's OK. It's only Vice President  Biden in a Putin mask." I slowed to a walk and looked back, warily.  Joe Biden was standing on the porch doubled up with laughter, the mask in his hands.  Bastard --as if the past couple weeks haven't been sufficiently ego-bruising. But enough about me.

10/30/13

Obama battling for survival, says NYT

"Obama finds himself under fire on two disparate fronts these days, both for the botched rollout of his signature healthcare program and for the secret spying on allied heads of state. In both instances, his explanation roughly boils down to this: I didn't know," The New York Times says.
"As a practical matter, no president can be aware of everything going on in the sprawling government he theoretically manages. But as a matter of politics, Mr. Obama's plea of ignorance may do less to deflect blame than to prompt new questions about just how much in charge he really is."    Read it all.

Cartoon: Steve Sack

[The Minneapolis Star Tribune]

Barack Obama's Diary: Putin calls

Dear Diary:  My day began with  a half-forgotten displeasure. As I spooned up my last few Froot Loops, my iPresidentophone vibrated and began belting out the Moscow Steelworkers Male Voice Choir's rendition of Keep The Red  Flag Lying  Flying. " Good morning, Obamavitch. Vladimir here!"
Good morning Vladimir" I replied. "To what do I owe the honor of this call?"
"You haven't heard the news?"
"What news?" I asked.
"Forbes magazine has listed the most powerful people in the world, and guess who came top?
" I'll give you a clue, Obamavitch...It's not you.
"It's you?" I asked. " Bwaaaaha!ha!" he replied, " Yes, it's me, Ovitch " "Best laugh I've had for a long time. Maybe if you had taken the trouble to consult me about socialized medicine you might have saved yourself a lot of embarrassment, Obamavitch.  All you've got to do is shoot a few peasants. The rest will join Obamacare faster than you can say Sibelius. But enough about me.

Putin tops Obama as 'world's most powerful person'

Vladimir Putin has overtaken President Obama as the Forbes’ Most Powerful Person in the World this year for the first time in Obama’s presidency. The magazine published its annual list today and noted that the Russian president had overtaken the American one in part because of Russia’s role in the Syria conflict this summer.
“Putin has solidified his control over Russia and anyone watching the chess match over Syria has a clear idea of the shift in the power towards Putin on the global stage,” Forbes said. “The ex-KGB strongman–who controls a nuclear-tipped army, a permanent seat on the U.N. Security Council and some of the world’s largest oil and gas reserves – is allowed to serve another six-year term, which could keep him in office until 2024.” [Source]

Obama 'rejected Amazon, Microsoft help'

The Obama administration appears to have passed up offers from Amazon and Microsoft to help fix the federal government's troubled healthcare enrollment website, according to documents released on Tuesday by a Republican-led congressional investigating committee.  An Oct. 7 inquiry from Amazon's subsidiary Amazon Web Services Inc. was turned down by two senior officials at the Department of Health and Human Services, which is overseeing implementation of President Barack Obama's healthcare reform law, according to copies of emails provided by the House of Representatives Oversight and Government Reform Committee.
Microsoft also contacted HHS and the White House with offers of "technical expertise and assistance," but the company has not provided any such services, a Microsoft representative said in an Oct. 25 letter to the committee. The letter did not say whether the administration had responded to Microsoft's offers.  More.



Cartoon: Eric Allie


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

10/29/13

Obama takes blame for nothing

"President Obama will not take the blame for anything his administration does. Of course, he’s the first to take credit even when there’s no credit to take.
"How many times have we heard President Obama tell the American people that he was unaware of what’s been going on? He didn’t know about Fast and Furious, the IRS scandal, spying on journalists, Benghazi, NSA spying on foreign leaders, or that people could lose their insurance once the so-called Affordable Care Act kicked in. Even the liberal media are beginning to grow anxious that their political messiah is turning out to be a fraud..."          Read more.    [BJS]

NSA anger as Obama casts officials adrift

The White House and State Department signed off on surveillance targeting phone conversations of friendly foreign leaders, current and former U.S. intelligence officials said Monday, pushing back against assertions that President Obama and his aides were unaware of the high-level eavesdropping.  Professional staff members at the National Security Agency and other U.S. intelligence agencies are angry, these officials say, believing the president has cast them adrift as he tries to distance himself from the disclosures by former NSA contractor Edward Snowden that have strained ties with close allies.   More 
[BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Blueberry yum yum


Dear Diary: My stock of Maui Wowie is seriously depleted as a result of using it for medicinal purposes. For some  months now I have had a new crop of pakalolo growing under lights in my new underground bunker, carefully  tended by Marv Nicholson, my Trip Director  [it will now be dawning on readers why he has that title] What I'm growing isany old  ditch weed. Among the varieties I am trying out is Blueberry Yum Yum, a variety of weed that's reputed to smell like blueberries, has a bright blue color and is said to calm anxiety and enhance one's mood.  Sounds ideal, now Dr Rink has refused to prescribe me any more tranquilizers. Marvin reckons it's at the perfect stage for harvesting right now.  I called him on my iPresidentophone today: "Harvest that blue pakalolo, Marv. I'm facing a stressful few days."  I am indeed, because some in the MSM have connected the dots on ObamaCare and are spilling the beans that I knew that millions would be losing their healthcare plans even as I was reassuring them that they could keep their health plan and their favorite doctor [bwaaah ha! ha!]  People simply have to understand  and accept that the intellectual elite, that I am part of, knows what's best for them. But enough about me.

Socialist medicine in action

A plan to create the world's largest single civilian computer system linking all parts of Britain's National Health Service is to be abandoned by the Government after running up billions in bills. Ministers are expected to announce next month that they are scrapping a central part of the much-delayed and hugely controversial 10-year National Programme for IT.
Instead, local health trusts and hospitals will be allowed to develop or buy individual computer systems to suit their needs – with a much smaller central server capable of "interrogating" them to provide centralised information on patient care. News of the Government's plans comes as a damning report from a cross-party committee of MPs concludes that the program had proved "beyond the capacity of the Department of Health to deliver".

10/28/13

Obama 'knowingly lied to millions'

President Obama repeatedly assured Americans that, after the Affordable Care Act became law, people who liked their health insurance would be able to keep it. But millions of Americans are getting or are about to get cancellation letters for their health insurance under Obamacare, say experts, and the Obama administration has known that for at least three years.
Four sources deeply involved in the Affordable Care Act told NBC News that 50 to 75 percent of the 14 million consumers who buy their insurance individually can expect to receive a “cancellation” letter or the equivalent over the next year because their existing policies don’t meet the standards mandated by the new health care law. One expert predicts that number could reach as high as 80 percent. And all say that many of those forced to buy pricier new policies will experience “sticker shock.”  More

Cartoon: R.J.Matson

[Cagle Cartoons]

State Dept. lacks basic cybersecurity

President Obama has called cybersecurity a top priority, but the State Department cable and messaging system, built and maintained — like the troubled ObamaCare system — mainly by large IT contractors, has routinely failed to meet basic security standards, according to internal documents obtained by BuzzFeed.
"Emails and other documents suggest security has been a standing problem in State Department systems, handling both classified and unclassified material, since at least 2009. Earlier this month, BuzzFeed reported on the department’s systemic and severe lack of security, including unsecured servers, workstations, unencrypted transfer of secret material, and the intermixing of classified and nonclassified information.
"These newly obtained documents add to the picture, revealing that the department lacks even a basic monitoring system to determine unauthorized access or modification of files. Security on the unclassified systems appears problematic, as there is potential access to classified information, even inadvertently, and back-door access to servers". More      [BJS]

10/27/13

ObamaCare website company linked to Michelle

CGI Federal, which secured a $678 million no-bid contract to build the Obamacare exchange web portal, has come under increased scrutiny for ties between senior executives and the Obama administration following the disastrous rollout of the healthcare website.
Toni Townes-Whitley, a senior vice president at CGI Federal, is a Princeton classmate of First Lady Michelle Obama, The Daily Caller reported. In addition to being college classmates, both Obama and Townes-Whitley are members of the Association of Black Princeton Alumni.
According to Federal Election Commission Records, Toni Townes-Whitley gave $500 in 2011 and 2012 to Obama's reelection, and another $1,000 to the Obama Victory Fund.
Close access to the White House was also enjoyed by other senior CGI officials, reports The Washington Examiner. More

60 Minutes blows Benghazi scandal wide open

60 Minutes had an absolutely devastating report [watch below] on the Obama administration’s failure to protect Ambassador Chris Stevens and other Americans in Benghazi. The heart of the report is that there were clear and unequivocal warnings which were ignored, and the Obama administration lied about these warnings after the attack.
Hillary and Obama blamed a video and stood by the caskets perpetuating that lie.  [ECS]

Revised Health.gov home page

[From: Twitter, via ECS]

Dim Crims: Big bang theory

 Two men were killed attempting an early morning burglary at a landscaping company in Hopkinton, New Hampshire. According to the state fire marshal's office, "the two males were attempting to gain entry into a closed metal container which contained consumer fireworks, using an oxy-acetylene cutting torch, when the blast occurred."  Source.       [BJS]

Academia Nuts: Success is downright unfair

Life is truly beginning to imitate art. According to prevailing progressive “wisdom,” success is just becoming downright… unfair. The University of Georgia’s Student Government Association (SGA) held an unusual “dinner and dialogue” during “Social Justice Week” in opposition to the notion of “success stories.”
The event “No More Success Stories: Dinner, Dialogue, Making A Difference”  listed panelists for the “final event of Raise Your Hand for Equality!” Day at the U. of Georgia. The premise of the forum is that minority “success stories” diminish the stature of other minorities. The flyer, for example, features the openly gay CNN news anchor Anderson Cooper in the background, and poses: “1 in a Million Means 999,999 left behind.”   More     [ECS]

Barack Obama's Diary: God watcheth me

Dear Diary:  I accompanied the family to church this morning walking across Lafayette Park in front of the White House to St. John’s. I must confess that I was more than a little fearful that a bolt of lightning might smite me down, out of the clear blue sky, in vengeance for all the necessary dissembling, evasion  and stretching of the truth that I have indulged in since the ACA website went online.
After today’s service,  I walked gingerly back to the White House, keeping one nervous eye on a small cloud scudding across the sky. The Beast was idling in the driveway. I climbed in back  and we sped out in a motorcade for a round of golf at Fort Belvoir, with junior aides Joe Paulsen and Marvin Nicholson, and Marvin’s brother Walter. Walter knows the drill: keep a respectful distance from me and look the other way when a Secret Serviceman kicks my golf ball out of the rough. Then, at the fourth hole, look impressed as I make my usual  intimidating call to the Pentagon and order a drone strike on the next target on the kill list. But enough about me.

SNL mocks Abominable Care Act

Video follows ad: 

ObamaCare sticker shock shakes California

"Thousands of Californians are discovering what Obamacare will cost them — and many don't like what they see.  These middle-class consumers are staring at hefty increases on their insurance bills as the overhaul remakes the healthcare market. Their rates are rising in large part to help offset the higher costs of covering sicker, poorer people who have been shut out of the system for years," writes Chad Tehun in the LA Times.
Although recent criticism of the healthcare law has focused on website glitches and early enrollment snags, experts say sharp price increases for individual policies have the greatest potential to erode public support for President Obama's signature legislation. Read it all     [BJS]

Hitler excoriates ObamaCare


Cartoon: Gary McCoy


10/26/13

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

10/26/13: Oh, my word: patient has reverted to extreme Narcissistic Personality Disorder overlaid with paranoia. He presented today smelling of dope and giggling manically about the Affordable Care Act being nothing more than an elaborate prank he had played on the nation  to show that he was is human as the next guy and the public should not see him as an aloof intellectual. That's true:  they should see him for what he is: a socially-awkward,  conceited  little prick with an IQ smaller than his hat size. There is no point in prescribing any medication while this moron is as high as a kite.---Dictated by S.H. Rink M.D. 

Who needs friends when you have the NSA?

"Diplomats are not surprised that the security agencies under US President Barack Obama have reportedly been monitoring close allies like German Chancellor Angela Merkel. He has failed to foster close relationships with other heads of state, causing much frustration around the world, says Germany's Der Speigel.  "Obama, who prefers to spend his evenings with his family or alone in front of his computer, has made it no secret in Washington that he does not want to make new friends. That maxim especially applies to his foreign diplomacy. On the heels of recent revelations that US spy agencies might have monitored Chancellor Merkel's cell phone, the complaints about Merkel's "lost friend" Obama are misplaced. Obama doesn't want to be a friend. That is over."
 "Coolness has its price," Washington Post columnist Jackson Diehl wrote in 2010, adding that Obama appeared to have no genuine friend among world leaders. But what for? He has the NSA.   [Source]                       [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Suckers, it was a prank

Dear Diary:  What if I threw a huge healthcare party and nobody came? If you were to smoke a cigar-sized joint of Maui Wowie, as I did this morning, you would find it as funny as I do. Bwaaah!ha!ha! I have decided to get through  this whole daymare by treating it as a huge prank that Kathleen Sibelius and I have played on the American people. Geddit? Affordable Care Act!  Suckers thought that I could create medical care that they  could afford. That's like expectin' Mike Bloomberg to create a Gigantic Soda Act.
Joe Biden showed his brighter side when he  came into the Oval Office this morning and suggested that we spin the whole Act as the result of a typo and it is really the Affluent Care Act which  forces the rich to invest all their money in the US Treasury where big Government would take care of it for ever. Valerie loved the  idea and reckoned most liberals would, too.
Then there is the other vexing problem I am facing, and that is how to placate Frau Merkel and  Monsieur Hollande who are seething with indignation at being listened in on by the NSA. No other leaders are making such a fuss and that's probably because they know that we have much more dirt on them that they have on us. But enough about me.

Two new views of the Abominable Care Act




[ Both via The Looking Spoon]



Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[Columbus Daily Dispatch]

10/25/13

Cheney slams Obama's foreign affairs record

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is criticizing the “incompetence” in handling foreign affairs by President Barack Obama’s administration, including former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Cheney said Thursday that the president’s handling of the situation in Syria damaged the country’s standing with its allies. “I think the incompetence of this administration in the way they’ve handled these kinds of affairs, especially in the Middle East, is one of the worst aspects of this presidency,” Cheney said on Hugh Hewitt’s radio show.“If you’re a friend and ally of the United States in that part of the world tonight, you’d have to say what’s this guy all about? Can we count on anything he’s told us? … At the same time, our adversaries out there no longer fear us.”  Read more: 

Cartoon:Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Dim Crims:: Bud Slugged

A British football fan was jailed for 12 months on Thursday for punching a police horse in the head after his team lost to their arch rivals. Barry Rogerson, 45, lashed out at the the horse named Bud during widespread disorder after Newcastle United lost 3-0 at home to Sunderland in April. Rogerson was also banned from attending football matches for six years. "You stood your ground and attacked the horse by punching it in the head," judge Paul Sloan said as he sentenced Rogerson.  "The officer could easily have been thrown from the horse and could have sustained serious injury."  [Source]             [BJS]

Take cover! Here comes the ACA


Obama, you lie!

Alan Caruba writes: "Virtually everything the President said about Obamacare before and since its passage has been a lie. In many ways Obamacare is a mirror image of his character or lack of it. Passed off as a moral responsibility to provide health insurance coverage to those who could not afford it, Obamacare is filled with hidden taxes. When you tax something, you tend to get less of it. It is blatantly unconstitutional in its implementation of fines for failing to sign up.
 "To date, Obamacare’s initial impact has been to turn full-time jobs into part-time jobs. It has doubled and tripled insurance premiums. It has caused a reduction in physicians as many elect to retire or close their private practices due to its low levels of compensation. Many will not accept patients on Medicare or Medicaid.  Indeed, to implement Obamacare, $500 billion was taken from Medicare with an additional $818 billion to be taken from Medicare Part A in 2014-2023.
"For the senior citizens who were depending on Medicare to help cover expenses, the likelihood is that they will receive reduced services and a poorer quality of care, if they even find care...."  More

10/24/13

A penny for the mighty Forrestal

The USS Forrestal which Laughing Conservative distantly recalls being a wonder of the modern world, when it was launched in 1954, has been sold for 1 cent as scrap metal. Mr. and Mrs. Laughing Conservative were  on vacation from England and were invited on board Forrestal's gigantic  sister ship, Saratoga, when she was anchored in the Mediterranean, off Cannes, and tasted their first real brownie in the ship's main cafeteria [and very good it was]. 

Barack Obama's Diary: Angry Presidents

Dear Diary: My speciallyengraved  iPresidentophone-S  has been busy all day, blaring the anthems of various  European countries which I use as personal  ringtones for their leaders. They are all indignant that NSA has been listening in to their mobile phones. So what? When did the President of Belgium ever say anything worth hearing?  Silvio Berlusconi on the other hand was a hoot to overhear, as he trawled the clubs trying to entice ladies of the night to his bung-bunga parties. Joe, me and Axelrod had some good laughs listening to that, I can tell you, but Valerie won't let me. I'm still having a bumpy ride over the ObamaCare website. But I did score a minor victory over those insufferably macho, bloodthirsty Marines today, forcing them to change over to what they regard as 'girly' hats. Personally, I regard Marines as useful only  for holding an umbrella over me when I have to make a speech  in the rain. They are not much good for anything else. Except maybe as a backdrop when I want to be seen as the brilliant, decisive Commander-in-Chief that I am. But enough about me.

Marines to get 'girly' hats

The Department of Defense is suggesting that the U.S. Marine Corps replace their iconic caps [above left] with a new “unisex” style [above right] that some service members describe as “girly.”
“We don’t even have enough funding to buy bullets, and the DOD is pushing to spend $8 million on coves [caps] that look like women’s hats!” one senior Marine source told The New York Post. “The Marines deserve better. It makes them look ridiculous.”The idea is to update the almost century-old design to something appropriate for both men and women, pursuant to an Obama administration directive."

Socialist medicine in action...


A Canadian mother recently shared this letter on a social media network: “Canada’s health care system is a f*cking joke. Took 18 months to get a referral in the first place. I’d rather pay out of pocket than wait in line.” Many suggested she come to America to receive care, or pay cash.
One commented, “Doctors there (America) try so much harder because they know they have to earn their pay unlike here. They swipe our cards (Canadian health cards) and that’s it.”
Even Canadian doctors know their system is a sham, as pointed out by another commentator, “My dentist goes to Buffalo. Pays cash for everything but says its worth it."    [Source]   [ECS]

How to avoid Obamacare and pay no fine

John Nolte writes: "Less than two-hours ago I submitted a revised W-4 form to our payroll department. My goal is to avoid being  in a position where at the end of next year I am owed a refund from the federal government. As an act of civil disobedience, I am refusing to purchase health insurance. This means that I am subject to a tax/fine of 1% of my income (2% the following year, 2.5% thereafter). But the beautiful thing is that unless I am owed a tax refund, the government  will never get any of that money.
"My decision to not purchase health insurance is a decision a lot of people -- possibly millions -- are going to make, either out of protest, or once the ObamaCare site is up and running and they finally get a look at the increased cost of their monthly premiums under the Orwellian-named Affordable Care Act."  Find out more
[ECS]

Cartoon: Mike Keefe

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Aftermath

[From Aftermath]

Dems line up to seek Abominable Care Act delay

Democrats are lining up to call for an ObamaCare extension. With Web site and phone-bank failures galore, shaky data and public outrage at the expensive bungle, moderate or potentially vulnerable Democrats like Sen. Mark Pryor, D-Ark., Joe Manchin, D-W.Va, Mary Landrieu, D-La., and Kay Hagan, D-N.C., are calling for a slowdown. Sen. Jeanne Shaheen, D-N.H., has a bill that would leave open the enrollment period to obtain insurance before fines kick in. Manchin told Bill O’Reilly Wednesday that he was working on a bill with Sen. Johnny Isakson, R-Ga., to delay the so-called “individual mandate” for one year.  More

NSA 'listened in on 35 world leaders'

The National Security Agency monitored the phone conversations of 35 world leaders after being given the numbers by an official in another US government department, according to a classified document provided by whistleblower Edward Snowden.  The confidential memo reveals that the NSA encourages senior officials in its "customer" departments, such the White House, State and the Pentagon, to share their Rolodexes so the agency can add the phone numbers of leading foreign politicians to their surveillance systems.
The document notes that one unnamed US official handed over 200 numbers, including those of the 35 world leaders, none of whom is named. These were immediately "tasked" for monitoring by the NSA.
The revelation is set to add to mounting diplomatic tensions between the US and its allies, after the German chancellor Angela Merkel on Wednesday accused the US of tapping her mobile phone. More

Pepper-spray cop awarded $38,000

Apparently, pepper spraying dozens of protesters who are sitting peacefully on the ground in front of you counts as a debilitating—and lucrative—workplace incident. Former UC Davis police officer John Pike has been awarded $38,055 in workers' compensation for the "continuous trauma" he suffered as a result of his infamous spraying fit, The San Francisco Chronicle reports. The police union says Pike received more than 17,000 emails and 10,000 texts after his conduct went viral, forcing him to change his phone number, email address, and even physical address. (To say nothing of the horrors of being the target of a weird art meme.) A UC Davis spokesman says the payout "is in line with permanent impairment as calculated by the state's disability evaluation unit." It's more than the school paid to any of Pike's victims, who each received $30,000 in a lawsuit settlement. [Source]           [BJS]

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Never saying 'never'

German Chancellor Angela Merkel complained to President Barack Obama that U.S. intelligence tapped her mobile phone, with her government publicly calling the alleged behavior “a serious breach of trust” if true.
Obama responded on Wednesday with a telephone call to Merkel. And here’s the interesting part of the White House readout of that conversation:  "The President assured the Chancellor that the United States is not monitoring and will not monitor the communications of Chancellor Merkel,” the statement said.
“Is not”? “Will not”? They're a far cry from “has never.”  [Source]       [BJS]

Academia Nuts: Beware stereotypes

Students at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities have also been asked to make sure their Halloween costumes are politically correct.  In a letter officials said: "Please keep in mind that certain Halloween costumes inappropriately perpetuate racial, cultural, and gender stereotypes." More

Barack Obama's Diary: I solve the big glitch

Dear Diary:  Leadership is easy.  The Affordable Care Act has been a wonderful example of my organizing genius. I instructed  Kathleen Sibelius to create a website to welcome the millions who are waiting to embrace my signature achievement.  Some have had trouble logging in but, as Kathleen points out, you don't expect to get the whole of Manhattan into the opening night of a  much-anticipated Broadway show. "
"That's a great analogy!"  I cried.  For the answer to complaints about the Website had just hit me like a thunderbolt: "Tickets! " I exclaimed. "Let there be tickets!  We can sell tickets to people each day for $100 to gain entry to the site.  That way we can gain a ton of extra revenue and reduce the hordes to a daily trickle." I pranced around the Oval Office, dancing a little jig. "I'm a genius, a genius!  Genius is my name! "
Valerie Jarrett entered the Oval Office and joined me in  my victory dance. "Great idea Barry," she said. "But how are we going to sell the tickets?"
 "With a website, dear Valerie, dear Valerie, with a Website, dear Valerie -- Website."
"But who'll build your website dear Barry, dear Barry?"
"Kathleen Sibelius, dear Valerie , dear Valerie, Kathleen  Sibelius, dear Valerie. Dear Valerie,  Kathleen.
" But she screwed up last time, dear Barry, dear Barry, she screwed up last time:"
"Who cares, dear Valerie, dear Valerie."
"Champagne for everyone!" I yelled. and popped open a bottle of Dom Perignon from my minibar, shook it and sprayed the contents  around  the room like Nascar winner.  Michelle burst in and  said: " What the hell are you doing, Barry? That stuff is more than $50 a bottle "
 " I'm not as thrunk as you may dink I am, Michelle," I smiled. "And  taxpayers are picking up the tab." But enough about me.

10/23/13

Cartoon: Aftermath

[From Aftermath]

Obama's other digital disaster

Dr. Nicholas DiNubile, a Philadelphia orthopedic surgeon, has a timely reminder for everyone encountering the federal health-care-exchange meltdown: “If you think signing up for ObamaCare is a nightmare, ask your doctor how the EMR [electronic medical records] mandate is going.”
The White House finally acknowledged the spectacular public disaster of ObamaCare’s Internet site during Monday’s Rose Garden infomercial. But President Obama and his sales team are AWOL on the bureaucratic ravages of the federal electronic medical records mandates.Distracted doctors are seeing “more pixels than patients,” Dr. DiNubile observes, and the EMR edict is foisting “dangerous user-unfriendly technology” on physicians and patients. More

16 million to lose current health plans

While the Affordable Care Act was making its way through Congress, President Obama famously promised the American people over and over again that if you like your health plan, you can keep it. “Let me be exactly clear about what health care reform means to you,” Obama said at one rally in July 2009. “First of all, if you’ve got health insurance, you like your doctors, you like your plan, you can keep your doctor, you can keep your plan.  Nobody is talking about taking that away from you.”  But the president's promise is turning out to be false for millions of Americans who have had their health insurance policies canceled because they don't meet the requirements of the Affordable Care Act. According to health policy expert Bob Laszewski, roughly 16 million Americans will lose their current plans because of Obamacare. More

Abominable Care Act : See it in action

 This video is an actual online chat interaction between  a customer and HealthCare. gov. From the rightscoop.com


Abominable Care Act: Dem chair suggests enrollment extension

Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz strongly suggested Wednesday morning that amid the troubles plaguing the Obamacare website, the open enrollment period for signups should be extended. "There should absolutely be an openness to extending the open enrollment period," she said during an appearance on MSNBC.

Angry Angela: 'Did US spy on my mobile phone?''

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has complained to President Obama after learning that U.S. intelligence may have targeted her mobile phone, and said that would be "a serious breach of trust" if confirmed, her government announced.  The White House denied that the U.S. is listening in on Merkel's phone calls.
The German government said it responded after receiving "information that the chancellor's cellphone may be monitored" by U.S. intelligence. It wouldn't elaborate, but German news magazine Der Spiegel, which has published material from NSA leaker Edward Snowden, said its research triggered the response.

Abominable Care Act: crisis for insurers

President Obama has summoned health insurance CEOs to the White House as he attempts continued damage control from the failed launch of his new health-insurance entitlement program. The Hill reports that the insurance executives will be joined by their industry’s top lobbyist for the White House huddle that will include senior adviser Valerie Jarrett and Chief of Staff Denis McDonough. Obama partnered with insurance firms to win passage of ObamaCare in 2010, promising to deliver young, healthy customers to the companies to offset costs associated with new regulations forcing them to cover those with preexisting conditions. But the botched launch of the program is proving dire for the industry. Insurers have reported widespread problems in the accuracy of data received as well as low numbers of enrollees. More

Rubio seeks delay to Abominable Care Act

The widespread problems with the ObamaCare website are generating a new backlash in Congress, with Sen. Marco Rubio planning to introduce legislation that would delay the health law's individual mandate until the technical failures are addressed. The Florida senator discussed the plan  in an interview with Fox News. He said it would be "prudent" to delay the requirement on individuals to buy health insurance -- set to kick in early next year -- until users can consistently access the main website. 

Meet a real 'extremist'

Keith Koffler of White House Dossier has posted a remarkable letter from a reader.
"My husband and I have been involved with the Tea Party from the very beginning. We marched in Washington on April 15, 2010, the original protest of the Tea Party. We have been involved with Tea Party causes, protests, candidates, etc. since then.
 We are grandparents in our early 70’s who are worried, not so much about ourselves, but who are worried sick about the type of Country our grandchildren will be living in. We are college graduates, worked in Corporate America for over 30 years, raised two wonderful daughters who are outstanding citizens, have 3 wonderful Grandchildren and are comfortably retired. We love this Country dearly and are very, very grateful to those who had the wisdom to found it and to those who have had the courage to defend it.
We have so many friends that feel the same way and we wonder, are we in the majority or are we really just a tiny segment of the populations, as the Liberals like to say? Since the Liberal Establishment is so vicious in their attacks, we think that they must feel that there are more of us than it makes them comfortable, and they are afraid of what our movement can do to their agenda.
Witness the IRS scandal. It is amusing and sort of sad to hear the Liberal Establishment depicts us as “terrorists”, “anarchists”, “dangerous”, “arsonists”, etc. We are just regular Americans who want to live and let live, who love this Country and who want to preserve it for the next generation. It is as simple as that.
I happen to be an American by choice, (Mexican-American heritage). I know what is like to grow up in the Third World and it makes me very uneasy to start seeing things I grew up with in Mexico, such as the eroding of our personal safety and property rights, and the increase of “Crony” Capitalism and corruption, becoming more and more common in this Country.  It is my feeling that many of our young people now days should visit one of those “Socialist” countries they think we should emulate and see how the real people, not the elites live there. They have no idea of what this country is all about and how fortunate they are to have been born as an American.  We have no choice but to continue “fighting” in any way we can.
The Republican Party needs to learn to communicate the ideas of Liberty, Limited Government and the Free Market in a more articulate and effective way. They really have been so ineffective to date.
Georgina
 Koffler replies: "Thanks Georgina for you eloquent statement, which I think speaks for many who associate themselves with the Tea Party and its advocates in Congress. I’m deeply sorry the man who is supposed to be president of all of us thinks of you as an enemy."

Cartoon: Steve Sack

[Minneapolis Star Tribune]

10/22/13

Dim Crims: Woman recovers her car with finger 'gun'

 A 50-year-old nurse used her finger to convince the couple who allegedly stole her car that she had a gun and wanted her car back. Beatriz Pardo said that she pulled into a parking lot in Lacey, Wash., and spotted her car. Pardo called 911. But, before police arrived, the couple were preparing to leave, so Pardo confronted them.  The two, Nathan Austin and Robin Miller, denied having the keys. "I put the finger over here," she said, demonstrating how she used her finger, pointed like a gun, and jammed it into Miller's back.
"I held her and I told her, 'If you don't give me the keys to the car... I'm going to shoot you,'" Pardo recalled, demonstrating how she walked the woman and man over to the vehicle, where he unlocked the door with her keys, complete with a photo of her son on the key chain.
Pardo then told them the police were coming. Austin and Miller ran off and were captured by cops a few minutes later.  [Source]            [BJS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

No sex please, we're Japanese

Japan's young people are not very interested in dating ... but they're not very interested in casual sex, either. According to a study 61% of unmarried Japanese men and 49% of women aged 18 to 34 are not in any kind of romantic relationship—a figure that's up 10% from five years prior. And a third of Japanese people under 30 have never dated at all. Meanwhile, another survey found 45% of women and more than a quarter of men aged 16 to 24 "were not interested in or despised sexual contact." In Japan, they're calling this new phenomenon "sekkusu shinai shokogun," or "celibacy syndrome," reports the Guardian, and it's a big worry in a country with a rapidly shrinking population. More.

'Onion' sliced for Redskins satire

There  has  reportedly been angry reaction to a satirical  item posted to The Onion’s website featured slurs and stereotypes aimed at Redskins owner Daniel Snyder, who is Jewish. Under the headline, “Redskins’ Ki*e Owner Refuses To Change Team’s Offensive Name,” The Onion referred to Snyder as “hook-nosed” and “shifty-eyed."
Snyder has insisted that the team continue to be called the Redskins. What part of satire do angry critics not understand?  [Source]

Greeced palms

Anti-corruption officials in Brussels have failed to investigate reports of squandered EU funds at a training institute in Greece, a German paper reported Friday. Well-connected teachers were allegedly paid up to €610 per hour for up to 225 work hours per month.  The European Anti-Fraud Office (OLAF) has reportedly ignored repeated tip-offs about squandered European Union funds in Greece, according to an article in Süddeutsche Zeitung.
The German daily reports that a Greek civil servant uncovered multiple cases of nepotism and vastly inflated salaries while inspecting the finances of a vocational training institute. Officials in Brussels have apparently not acted on any of the whistleblower's suspicions, which he communicated in several letters, the paper added. More  [BJS]

Abominable Care Act: Man wastes 4.5 hours on hotline

On Monday, President Obama touted the Obamacare hotline and recommended people call to sign up for Obamacare. "The point is the call centers are available," Obama said, sounding as though he were in the middle of an infomercial. "You can talk to somebody directly and they can walk you through the application process. Once you get on the phone with a trained representative, it usually takes about 25 minutes for an individual to apply for coverage, about 45 minutes for a family. Once you apply for coverage, you will be contacted by email or postal mail about your coverage status."
But ABC Newshas  found a man who has spent 4.5 hours on the Obamacare hotline -- and he still hasn't been able to sign up for Obamacare. More

Food stamps sold for cash online

  Food stamp recipients are turning the government benefits into quick cash with ads on Craigslist, despite efforts to stem fraud, as well as auction sites like eBay — sellers offer the EBT cards at large discounts from face value. Fox News has more.

Abominable Care Act: Even doctors not consulted

Forget website problems, Obamacare didn't include doctors in the planning of the exchanges. Doctors have no idea what is going on. Doctors were not told anything about the exchanges nor have they been approached about being on the exchanges. Some received a letter from insurance companies advising them that if they didn’t opt out, they were in, and they would have to opt out of all insurance with that particular company. They were not told what their remuneration,  or conditions would be.  More

Dim Crims: Bridegroom makes hoax bomb call

A would-be bridegroom who made a hoax bomb threat to a wedding venue after realising he had failed to confirm his booking has been jailed.  Neil McArdle, 36, of Liverpool, England, realised his error the day before he was due to marry at St George's Hall in the city. Rather than tell fiancee Amy Williams, he made a bomb-threat call from a phone box, Liverpool Crown Court heard. He was given a 12-month jail sentence after admitting making the hoax call. His fiancee is standing by him. More.   [BHS]

Stewart roasts Abominable Care Act


10/21/13

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being prepared for presentation to Vaughn Sherwood, 66,  of Honolulu. The FBI is accusing him of scamming local and federal taxpayers during the past 14 years, taking numerous government benefits he was not entitled to receive. Sherwood, who had inherited $360,000 from his parents, owned a sailboat, a Yamaha Jetboat, and drove a Mercedes-Benz S420, allegedly defrauded several government programs under his own identity and stolen identities, according to an affidavit filed with the U.S. District Court by FBI Special Agent Tom Simon.


Abominable™ Care Act: Obama may delay mandate

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney appeared today to leave the door open to delaying the so-called individual mandate of the Abominable Care Act , as President Obama acknowledged the main website for enrollment is not working as it should.   Details here  [Laughing Conservative  reserves rights to the name Abominable Care Act ]

Academia Nuts™: Can stroking stress your cat?

John Bradshaw, is the foundational director of the Anthrozoology Institute at the U.K.'s University of Bristol and author of the new book Cat Sense, about the real stress worries for pet cats and the other hot-button cat issues of the day. Daniel  Mills [of the U.K.'s University of Lincoln says: "I don't think what has been found can in any way be interpreted as stroking cats, any type of cats, makes them stressed. I think it could be true in some cats, but that's not to say this study showed that."   More.                          [BJS]

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

And these people vote...

 Ever wonder how Obama was able to be re-elected?            [ECS]

Progress Notes: Patient 540463 Obama Barack, H.

Valerie Jarrett called me in early Monday for an "emergency" consultation, Patient had gone missing and, after a panicked search, he  had eventually  been found hiding in the  Oval Office closet, curled up in a fetal position, shaking and gibbering at even the thought of having to go out into the Rose Garden and attempt to defend the  ACA website to the nation.  "Doctor" he cried, "Thank God! I have been plotting to have Kathleen Sibelius brought in  and beheaded with an ax by a White House gardener.   But Valerie Jarrett won't  like the optics. I am undone! Even Chris Matthews has been giving me strange looks for the past couple days."
"That could be something entirely unconnected to ObamaCare," I ventured. "They don't call him Pringles  for nothing."
"Doctor, dear doctor, can I please have something to stop me shaking and stuttering?    I felt almost sorry seeing Patient spurned by the greatest love of his life-- himself.  I slipped him a couple of tablets of a mild tranquilizer and told him: "Wait 15 minutes or so and then you  will  be  much calmer and in a better state  to face the nation."  Geez, what a moron.  --Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Fox bites back

  Neil Cavuto lists  broken ObamaCare promises  [TG]

10/20/13

Oprah 'snubbed ObamaCare promotion'

 It appears that Oprah Winfrey is not on board with the President’s signature healthcare legislation.
When the White House was preparing to publicize the ObamaCare exchanges over the summer, the administration invited celebrities including Oprah, Amy Poehler, Jennifer Hudson and Alicia Keys to meet with President Obama about ways they could promote the Affordable Care Act. Oprah declined to lend her star power to the cause. Details here.      [ECS]

Benghazi vs. the Bay of Pigs

Author Diana West  draws attention to a  fascinating historical comparison between Obama, a president who didn't order the military support for Americans under fire in Benghazi, and Kennedy, a president who canceled military support for Americans and Cuban exiles under fire in the Bay of Pigs. Read it all.

Barack Obama's Diary™: Sweet tee

Dear Diary: Golf glorious golf, there's nothin' quite like it!  I hit the links at Fort Belvoir Sunday  after a break all through the shutdown when Comrade Jarrett forbade me to play because of 'bad optics.'  So I gave day the full treatment: Motorcade to Fort Belvoir, Secret Service detail to discreetly kick the ball out of the rough, fawnin' staffers to play with and my routine stop at the fourth hole  to pull out the iPresidentophone  and call the Pentagon to authorize a drone strike on the next target on our hit list. This always puts my golf buddies off their game as they try simultaneously  to watch the sky and play their next shot. It's not playin' fair, I guess, but when the goal is to win, win one must. I have to address the nation Monday about the bumpy rollout of  ObamaCare. Of course it was the fault of a Canadian software company, George Bush, Kathleen Sibelius and everyone in Congress who passed  the law to see what was in it. Me? I just signed the daggone thing into law and I'm now heroically cleanin' up after others.   And --purely out of modestly -- I'm quietly lobbyin' key people to rename it SibeiusCare. But enough about me.

NSA 'hacked Mexico President's email'

The NSA has been systematically eavesdropping on the Mexican government for years, according to an expose in  the German news magazine Der Spiegel. It hacked into the president's public email account and gained deep insight into policymaking and the political system. Der Spiegel  says this revelation  is likely to damage  ties between the US and Mexico. Read it all.          [BJS]

ObamaCare flaws threaten millions with 'financial devastation'

Scott Grannis, a financial pundit with an impressive record of accurate predictions writes: "I'm guessing that Obama is going to have to decide to postpone Obamacare's individual mandate within the next month, just like he already postponed the employer mandate. He's gotten himself into an almost indefensible position that only becomes worse as next year's deadlines approach but the computer systems remain deeply flawed. If the business side of Obamacare wasn't ready for prime time, it's abundantly clear now that the individual side isn't ready either, and that tens millions of people could be seriously inconvenienced if not financially devastated if the administration stubbornly refuses to face the facts.
"So we could be in for some really exciting times between now and the end of the year, and there's a good chance that the ultimate resolution to the Obamacare mess, which would likely come in the November 2014 elections, will be a win for limited government and free markets." Read it all     [BJS]


10/19/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Open House

Dear Diary: One of the joys of sequestration has been the absence of  tour groups in the People's House. Soon I will no longer be able to walk on  the South Lawn with soothing joint of Maui Wowie. The White House will  be inundated at regular intervals by gawking hordes from fly-over country, and Michelle and I will have to play hide-and-seek  as we move about the building. People think they have the right to shake hands and treat us as equals in their mundane little lives.  As if.  But enough about me.

Dim Crims™: Kane wasn't Able

New York state troopers arrested a woman and charged her with DWI after she allegedly drove a car across the front lawn of a State Police barracks and ended up in its parking lot. Authorities charged Katrina L. Kane, 28, of Pine Plains, N.Y., with DWI with a previous DWI conviction, which is a felony, police said.  Read more:      [BJS]

Marching band outshines all marching bands

Don't miss this incredible half-time show  by the WVU Marching Band,  sent by a loyal reader  in Wasilla, Alaska [thanks,Tim]. For best results,  view full-screen.

10/18/13

Academia Nuts: Bats win peeing contest

Experts at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta have clocked the pee-time of rats, dogs, elephants, goats, and cows, and come up with a "law of urination"—that each animal takes about 21 seconds. Elephants empty their bladders at the same speed as smaller mammals, because gravity pulls urine quickly through their large urethras. Smaller animals, on the other hand, have shorter urethras that get less gravitational pull, but smaller bladders to empty out. Still, the urinary law has its limits: Really small creatures like bats and rats can pee in less than a second.   More       [BJS]

Dim Crims: Toppling rocks

 Glenn Taylor and Dave Hall were leading a Boy Scout excursion in Utah's Goblin Valley State Park when they pushed over one of the many mushroom-shaped rocks that have been there for millions of years. Worse, they posted a video of it on YouTube—with one man singing, "Wiggle It, Just a Little Bit" and high-fiving the other once the rock fell over.
The men "are currently under criminal investigation," said a Utah State Parks official. "It gives you a pit in your stomach. ... This is not what you do at a natural scenic area." But Taylor and Hall insist they were performing a public duty, knocking over a precarious rock that would one day fall on someone. "We thought we were doing a good deed," Hall said.   More    [BJS]

Dim Crims: Woman calls 911, reports self

 Police in Billings, Montana, say Carol Frances Omeara, 55, was arrested after a police dispatcher received a call from a woman later identified as Omeara who said she could not get out of her vehicle, outside her residence. When asked if she was having a medical or mechanical issue, she allegedly explained, "No, I'm just too damn drunk," The Billings Gazette reports.
The responding officer found Omeara inside her car, parked about two feet from the curb in front of her house. She allegedly told the officer that she had driven home four hours earlier, after downing a pint of vodka at a bar. A breathalyzer test allegedly showed she had a blood-alcohol level almost four times the legal limit. Omeara was later charged with DUI. More  

How does ObamaCare compare?

The Obama administration expected nearly half a million people to enroll in the ObamaCare exchanges in the first month. According to an analysis by Millward Brown Digital, though, only 36,000 completed enrollments in the first week. How  does this  compare to other things in the world for which people can sign up? The Daily Caller investigated:
Fetlife.com, a “free social network for the BDSM and fetish community,” claims 2,424,946 members (and 105,953 videos, and 204,156 upcoming events).  So, thus far, about 2,100 percent more people have signed up for a single bondage and sadomasochism website than have signed up for Obamacare.
The website CinnamonChallenge.com claims to have found over 40,000 videos on Youtube.com showcasing people who try (and almost always fail) to eat a spoonful of cinnamon in 60 seconds. A YouTube search using the words “cinnamon challenge” generates approximately 905,000 results.
Read more:   [ECS]

Republicans 'fear the wrong enemy'

Mark Levin told WMAL yesterday morning that it’s time for some new fresh faces in the Republican leadership and it’s time for Boehner and McConnell to go. He says this leadership doesn’t know how to deal with a radical left-wing president and that unlike Reagan, who understood the existential threat from the left because he came from the left, they think the existential threat is the Tea Party.
When asked if he was going to use his powerful voice on radio to go against those like John McCain and Peter King who undercut Ted Cruz during this Obamacare fight, he replied “you can bet on it…you’re damn right I am.” More

Dim Crims: Flipping the bird

While being chased by a cop, a Connecticut man allegedly threw a parrot at his uniformed pursuer, who was bit on the hand when trying to shield himself from the feathered projectile.
Luis Santana, 32, was arrested Tuesday night on several charges, including assaulting a police officer, disorderly conduct, and animal cruelty after hurling a parrot at a police officer in Waterbury, Ct.
A patrolman responding to a call about a fight encountered Santana on a Waterbury street around 10 PM. When Santana bolted, bird in hand, Officer Gary Kichar gave chase.
While fleeing, Santana turned and threw the white parrot at Kichar’s head. When the cop raised his hand to protect himself, the bird bit his finger.
Following the bird tossing, investigators learned of an earlier  burglary during which jewelry and a parrot were stolen. Santana is a suspect in that crime, according to Deputy Chief Chris Corbett of the Waterbury Police Department. Corbett added that the parrot was later reunited with its owner. More.

Your tax dollars at work...

Amid this country's financial woes, the State Department decided there was a pressing need for U.S. embassies to have $5 million of fine crystal from which to pour, toast and imbibe their liquids. With the blessing of Secretary of State John F. Kerry and heavy lobbying to Mr. Kerry from Sen. Patrick J. Leahy, Vermont Democrat, the State Department awarded Vermont-based Simon Pearce (note the Vermont connection) a five-year contract. For $5 million, Simon Pearce will manufacture the majority of the 20 different styles of "handcrafted" crystal glasses and barware in its Quechee, Vt., facility. More   [ECS]

10/17/13

Cartoon: Aftermath

[From: Aftermath]

Socialist medicine in action...

A man hacked off his own leg using only a hacksaw, a small knife and a back scratcher wrapped in a towel because he couldn't afford hospital bills. Zheng Yanliang, 47, from Boading city, China, was diagnosed  with a thrombosis in his right leg and was told that gangrene had set in.
"Ideally I needed it to be operated on, but I could not afford it. They just gave me medication and sent me home to die" One night, after his wife had gone to bed, Mr Yanliang found a fruit knife, a metal saw and a towel-wrapped back scratcher  to bite on and amputated his own leg.
Read more:      [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Gloatin' with Putin

Dear Diary: Bwaaaaha!ha!  I won! I won!  I had called Pootin on  my iPresidentophone to gloat. It was late at night in Moscow but that only made it more delicious.  He answered immediately:  "Obamavitch! I know it's you because I have Al Green as your personal ring tone. What is it, Obamavitch?" I heard a female voice in the background  saying:  " Vladimir, Vladimir, wherefore art thou, Vladimir?" It was  clearly Pootin's Shakespearean actress/mistress with whom he was having a late-night tryst.  I said: "Vlad, I got  I wanted from the GOP and I'm now going to push for immigration reforms that should bring in another 30 million Democrat voters. "Well done, Obamavitch," he said, " I have a proposal: Here in Russia we have constant problems with Chechnya,  a neighboring Sunni muslim country with population of only 1.2 million. How about giving them all political asylum? That would elevate  you to  superhero among muslims  and guarantee you another million Democrats. In return I will continue to instruct you in the devious art of politics."
 "Sounds good, Vlad," I said. "I will seek approval from Comrade Jarrett."  But enough about me.

Cartoon: Rick McKee


Cartoon: Aftermath

[From: Aftermath]

Dim Crims: Bikers' own video brings huge fines

Two Ottawa motorcyclists were each fined more than $10,000 and given more than 100 demerit points after west Quebec police say they found evidence of dozens of driving infractions on a helmet video recorder. Regional police said they arrested two men, aged 26 and 29, after witnesses reported seeing two motorcyclists driving at high speeds and passing dangerously down Highway 105.  More   [BJS]

10/16/13

Barack Obama's Diary: 'Goobly erbly gerbly''

Dear Diary: Valerie Jarrett called Dr Rink early today because the suspense of the Congressional  wranglings over the debt deadlock and the government shutdown  had over-stimulated me and  I had again started speaking in tongues. " Gerbly, goobly, gerbly," I announced in Aramaic to Biden over our lunch in the Private Dining Room. Biden sighed   and said:  " I warned ya'll that this would happen: The crackers  want to put y'all back in chains."
"Goobly erdley bergly?" I asked with more restraint than the old coot deserved. But enough about me.