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2/28/14

Palin predicted Ukraine invasion

During the 2008 presidential campaign, Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin warned that if Senator Barack Obama were elected president, his "indecision" and "moral equivalence" may encourage Russia's Vladimir Putin to invade Ukraine. Palin said then:
After the Russian Army invaded the nation of Georgia, Senator Obama's reaction was one of indecision and moral equivalence, the kind of response that would only encourage Russia's Putin to invade Ukraine next.

For those comments, she was mocked by the high-brow Foreign Policy magazine and its editor Blake Hounshell, who now is one of the editors of Politico magazine.



As global tensions rise, Obama cripples our military

This week our president and Secretary of Defense — correct that to manager of appeasement — surrendered the military strength of the United States, writes Allen West. "This week Obama and Hagel told the enemies of liberty and freedom that it is open season. These two mental leprechauns have obviously never read the book by Niccolo Machiavelli, “The Prince” nor Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”. I’m sure they’ve never read Clausewitz or Jomini. So these astute fellas unilaterally decide that even in the face of a more dangerous world, we shall shrink our military capacity."   Read more

The irreversible Care Act

Our eagle-eyed Alaska contributor, TG, sends this:


Progress Notes for patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

Patient is in a full-blown panic. After I persuaded him, under hypnosis, that Vladimir Putin was no more fearsome than a ladybug. The moron told Putin to "piss off"  during a subsequent phone call. Putin has since docked a spy ship in Havana, staged a stealth invasion of Crimea, massed tens of thousands of troops near the Ukrainian border and scrambled squadrons of his best fighter aircraft. Today I  rehypnotized  patient  and suggested he cool it and develop an irresistible urge to reread Diplomacy for Dummies, then to call Putin back and to be friendly and accommodating. I wrapped that up with a prescription for Ativan  to calm him.--- Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

O and Joe beclown themselves

Clad in formal shirts, and neckties  Obama and Biden did a cringe-inducing photo-op jog through the White House hallways Friday, to promote Michelle's Let's Move campaign.

Whispers: Is Hillary seriously ill?

If you listen to the chattering class in Washington, D.C., Hillary Clinton is a virtual certainty for the 2016 Democratic nomination, and the front-runner in the next presidential race. But in private, rumors persist that the former Secretary of State may not even be capable of making it to Iowa and New Hampshire. Clinton, these skeptics often say, will not run for president again because of health concerns. These ubiquitous rumors of her health have been fueled in part by the supermarket tabloids. The National Enquirer wrote in 2012 that Clinton had brain cancer, something a spokesman dismissed then as “absolute nonsense.” In January of this year, The Globe claimed that Clinton secretly had a brain tumor. Read more.

Dim Crims: Home alarm system betrays homeowner

Marlon Gene Kelley, 53, of Muskegon, MI. has been sentenced to state prison  after his home alarm system sent Muskegon police to his unlocked house. They entered and found a marijuana grow house and firearms. Kelley was sentenced to one to 10 years for marijuana manufacture, one year for being a felon in possession of a firearm, and a consecutive two years for possessing a firearm while committing a felony. Kelley was sentenced as a fourth-time habitual offender based on prior felony drug convictions. Source]    [ BJS]









2/27/14

Obama's Band of Brothers

President Obama’s announcement today of a race-specific federal program, “My Brother’s Keeper,” is cause for concern – for whites, blacks, and Latinos. And concern on several levels., writes Keith Koffler at White House Dossier
"First of all, aren’t we all brothers? I’m serious. What about the civil rights of poor white and Asian men? What about, for that matter, low-income young women?
"The keynote of the announcement is that Obama is assembling $200 million in private funds to increase opportunity for black and Hispanic youth.
"I don’t think the government should be choosing races – it’s a dangerous precedent – but fine, it’s private money. It’s what’s beneath the headline that’s most disconcerting.
The initiative also includes an interagency task force – headed by Broderick Johnson, one of Obama’s closest advisors – that will, according to the White House:
Assess the impact of Federal policies, regulations, and programs of general applicability on boys and young men of color, so as to develop proposals that will enhance positive outcomes and eliminate or reduce negative ones.
"What does this mean exactly? Who knows. It sounds like a variety of federal issue are now going to get run through the filter of race and rated based on how much they help minorities..."  [Source]   [BJS]

Joke of the Day...

 Tickets are still available for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evel Knievel) event at the Ford Center next weekend in Glendale, AZ.
Robbie is going to try to jump over 435 members of Congress with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. Way to go Robbie!  -- [RK]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA Barack, H.

2/27/14:  My hypnotherapy session with Patient yesterday seems to have worked too well. I have just had a  call from Valerie Jarrett who is worried that patient may start World War 3 with his fearless, provocative remarks to Vladimir Putin. I hurried over to patient's private apartment where I found him curled up in a fetal postition on the hideous brown sofa, whimpering slightly. "Look into my eyes" I commanded. " Look into my eyes," I repeated." I snapped my fingers and he immediately fell into a hypnotic trance as I had instructed him to do at our last session.
"What seems to be the matter?" I asked him.  Patient looked at me pleadingly. "I think I may have pushed Pootin too far. What shall I do?
" Call him back and make nice," I told him,  "Thank you doctor", the moron said and reached for his  iPresidentophone. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink M.D.

Barack Obama's Diary: The Russians are coming!

Dear Diary:  I was pouring   almond milk on my Froot Loops this morning when my iPresidentophone burst into Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (Michelle disapproves of this ringtone  because she thinks that it encourages obese children to eat more sugar) "Vlad," I said, for it was he, "Wassup?"
"Obamavich," he said angrily, "I want you to rein in that idiot  Kerry  before he starts a serious conflict. We are engaged in major war games on the Ukraine border.  That's what you call a hint --намек  in Russian. 
Emboldened by Dr. Rink's hypnotherapy. I declared: "Piss off, Pootin."  
Putin fell silent for a moment, then said:"Before you provoke me further, Obamavich,  check with Defense Secretary Hagel  for details about our warship that has just docked  in Cuba and the fighters we have scrambled on the Ukraine border." 
Oops... But enough about me.

2/26/14

Kinky: Your tax dollars at work

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England (PPNNE)--which received more than $2.75 million in government funding in 2012--has produced and posted online a video specifically aimed at teenagers that promotes bondage and sadomasochism (BDSM) and proposes "rules" to follow when engaging in these activities.

“People sometimes think that those who practice BDSM are emotionally scarred or were once abused—not true, it’s a total myth," the host of the video, Laci Green, informs its intended audience of teens.
"BDSM relies upon and creates trust," she says. Read more.       [ECS]

3 days on the air wins Farrow a Cronkite Award

His first television show has only been on the air for three days, but liberal Ronan Farrow is already winning awards for his journalistic work. Reach the World, a global education group, will honor the 26-year-old Farrow with its annual Cronkite Award for Excellence in Exploration and Journalism. [Source]     [ECS]

O-care horror stories are all lies, says Reid

Obama, on the other hand, never lies.   ECS

Socialist medicine in action

The British National Health Service  is paying for some heart patients to be treated at a private clinic.  This comes as surgeons in Wales say they are still waiting for answers over what is being done about heart patients dying while waiting for operations. [Source]            [BJS]

Boy out-twitters FLOTUS

After first lady Michelle Obama jokingly referred to young people as "knuckleheads" on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, one boy decided to respond.
Tanya Bachand, a mom who identified herself on Twitter as a Connecticut conservative and Tea Party supporter, tweeted out a photo of her son holding a sign in response.
Dear #FLOTUS, I am not a knucklehead. I can read and I understand the Constitution," the message read. "#LetsMove on to shrinking the government so I can secure my own future."  More

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of  Dung Beetles' Award  is  being rolled rolling towards Sandra Korn, a senior who writes a column for The Harvard Crimson newspaper, and thinks radical leftism is the only permissible political philosophy, free speech should be abolished and professors with opposing views be fired.
“Let’s give up on academic freedom in favor of justice,” states her Feb. 18 column, in which she insists Harvard stop guaranteeing students and professors the right to hold controversial views and conduct research putting liberalism in a negative light. Read more          [ECS]

Your tax dollars at work...

The National Science Foundation has awarded a $356,337 grant to the University of Iowa to use virtual technology to study social influences on risky cycling and pedestrian behavior.
“This project will create a simulation facility that will advance a capability to study the social interactions of two children, or a child and parent, as the two people walk or bicycle across a traffic-filled roadway,” the grant announcement said.

2/24/14

The evil of ObamaCare

"The news was dumbfounding. My mother used to have a policy that covered the drug that kept her alive. Now she's on her own." Don't miss this devastating piece  from The Wall Street Journal on the horror Obama and his cruel, half-baked legislation have inflicted on one blameless family. [Source]   [BJS]

They're getting high on your dime

Fox31 Denver’s investigative team first revealed how welfare debit cards were used at ATMs inside at least 19 separate pot shops just in the month of January.
It’s against both federal and state law to use a welfare debit card and pull cash out of an ATM at a liquor store, but Fox31 Denver found more than a hundred such transactions last month alone.
Records show a few welfare recipients also used ATMs inside strip clubs, pulling money from a tax funded account aimed at helping needy families. More details here   BJS




Brazil, EU cable will bypass NSA

Brazil and the European Union agreed on Monday to lay an undersea communications cable from Lisbon to Fortaleza to reduce Brazil's reliance on the United States after Washington spied on Brasilia.
At a summit in Brussels, Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff said the $185 million cable project was central to "guarantee the neutrality" of the Internet, signaling her desire to shield Brazil's Internet traffic from U.S. surveillance.
"We have to respect privacy, human rights and the sovereignty of nations. We don't want businesses to be spied upon," Rousseff told a joint news conference with the presidents of the European Commission and the European Council.
"The Internet is one of the best things man has ever invented. So we agreed for the need to guarantee ... the neutrality of the network, a democratic area where we can protect freedom of expression," Rousseff said. [Source]   [BJS]

2/23/14

Warmal colding: New evidence

A remotely-operated National Weather Service sensor in Howards Pass, in northern Alaska's Brooks Range, recorded sustained winds of 71 mph (114 km/h) and gusts up to 78 mph (125 km/h) on Friday. A record  wind chill was calculated from the recorded temperature of minus 42 F (minus 41 C).  [Source]   [BJS]

Piers Morgan out: let the revelry begin

In CNN's first smart move in years, President Jeff Zucker has  parted company  with silly, arrogant Piers Morgan. Morgan has a profound ignorance of fly-over America. Living in the echo chamber of New York, he was never going to develop any rapport. The only surprise is that it took Zucker so long.  Piers, don't let the door hit your butt on your way out.

2/22/14

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/22/14: Patient is still shivering with anxiety that Vladimir Putin will exact revenge upon him for the collapse of Ukraine. I needed another approach to calm patient, but without sedation.  He is a very suggestible man, so I decided to try hypnosis.  I told him to sit down and relax on the hideous brown sofa in his private apartment. "Look into my eyes," I said. "Look into my eyes.  When I snap my fingers,  you will feel your anxiety fall away and you will be in a peaceful trance."  I snapped my fingers and Patient instantly entered a hypnotic state.  "Look into my eyes," I told him.  "Look into my eyes.  Now visualize  Vlad Putin as a ladybug between your thumb and forefinger. Now crush him. See...now  the mighty Putin, is no more menacing than a  squished ladybug."
I then assumed a more commanding tone: "When I count backwards from Three  to One and snap my fingers, you will wake up,  with no memory of this session, feeling relaxed and  no longer intimidated by Putin.  From now on, when you hear my fingers snap, you will immediately re-enter this hypnotic state and  obey any further instructions from me, without question."  He repeated: "Yes, Doctor...without question."  At last! I can now save the moron from himself. "Three...Two...One... Snap! Patient's eyes fluttered open. "Reggie? he said. Is that you?--Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

2/21/14

How Putin outsmarts the West

There are many things that Vladimir Putin doesn’t understand, but geopolitics isn’t one of them. His ability to identify and exploit the difference between the West’s rhetoric and its capabilities and intentions has allowed him to stop NATO expansion, split Georgia, subject Washington to serial humiliations in Syria and, now, to bring chaos to Ukraine.  [Read more]    [Source]

'Major war' brewing in Europe

According to Flopping Aces, Ukrainian leader  Viktor Yanukovych has left Kiev for the city of Kharkiv. Maybe that’s because he’s lost control of the capital or maybe, as the State Department claims, he’s gone to Kharkiv to shore up support. Either way, though, there’s no scenario where the government simply abdicates and the opposition takes over. Russia won’t relinquish the country that easily. So either things are about to get even rougher in Kiev as Putin fills the power vacuum or is planning a new move. What does that mean? Naval War College Prof. John Schindler fears a major war. [Source]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/21/14: Patient has been running through the halls of the White House, gibbering with panic. Valerie Jarrett called me in to calm him down. "What is troubling you, Majesty? I asked him, knowing how a royal form of address instantly soothes and reassures him. "It's Poo-poo Pootin" said Patient. " I think he may be invading Ukraine." Patient continued: "This is  going to involve making decisions, Doctor, you know how I loathe making decisions."
"Pootin is convinced that the CIA organized the Ukrainian rebellion, whereas we know that the CIA couldn't organize a  drive-by shooting in a Chicago Park." And Patient is also furious with his wife for appearing on Jimmy Fallon's  adolescent Tonight Show before  Patient had the chance to do so. Personally, I think the moron  has  paranoia from smoking excessive amounts of Vladivostok Velvet  shipped to him by the cunning Putin  in the Russian diplomatic pouch, along with a revised edition of Diplomacy for Dummies by Silvio  Berlusconi and a can of Beluga caviar--Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.

NYC black abortions outnumber live births

The New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has released a report showing that, among blacks, abortions are outnumbering live births.
The report labels abortions as "Induced Terminations" and shows that in 2012 there were 31,328 abortions among the "non-Hispanic black" ethnicity group. For that same group, live births totaled 24,758. The second highest number of abortions were for Hispanic at 22,917. Hispanic live births reached 36,642.  Both groups far outnumbered abortions for whites and Asian/Pacific Islanders who aborted 9,704 and 4,493 children respectively.  [Source]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards liberals at the University of California --Berkeley  who exposed a tour group of middle and elementary school students to a man in a giant-penis costume and campus-organized sex games.  [More]    [ECS]

2/20/14

Barack Obama's Diary: A Reuben from the Deli Lama

Dear Diary: I dazzled the Dalai Lama at our scheduled meeting this morning. "Lama, I said." Tell me about your deli. Do  you make a good Reuben sandwich?  Myself, I like the usual rye bread, corned beef,  Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, but with Thousand Island dressing rather than mayo."
"Food is a false religion," said  the Lama. "As for me, my religion is simple Kindness." That was a conversation killer,  but his visit made a good photo-op for my many followers in the sandals-and-beads demographic.  But enough about me.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: I soothe Vlad the Volatile

Dear Diary: No sooner had I scooped up a mouthful of Froot Loops this morning, when my specially-engraved iPresidentophone
tinkled  The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. An icy claw gripped my gut."Good morning,Vladimir" I said, for it was he. "Obamavich!" he raged:  "Restrain Biden and keep the bouffant-haired Kerry the hell out of Ukraine and  Syria. They are fomenting anarchy."
My phone was growing hot against my ear. "There, there, dude,"  I said in a soothing tone, "I think you are just having an over-emotional reaction to the lack of Russian gold medals at Sochi."
Then I burst into song to distract him from his woes:
"Sixteen billion and 
What do you get? 
Another day older and deeper in debt..."

OOBAAAMAAviiich!!!
His  voice dwindled to a strangled gurgle.
"Cool it, Vlad," I said  diplomatically, "You'll have a seizure."
"I just did." he replied.
But enough about me.

Obama FCC in news power grab

"What on earth is the FCC thinking?" asks Howard Kurtz of Fox News "The last thing we need is the government mucking around with news content.  The title of this Big Brother-ish effort by the Federal Communications Commission sounds innocuous enough: “Multi-Market Study of Critical Information Needs.” But it’s a Trojan horse that puts federal officials in the newsroom, precisely where they shouldn’t be. Don’t take my word for it. The FCC says it wants to examine “the process by which stories are selected,” as well as “perceived station bias” and “perceived responsiveness to underserved populations," writes Kurtz. "Perceived station bias? Are you kidding me? Government bureaucrats are going to decide whether a newsroom is being fair?"
"Keep in mind that the commission has the power to renew or reject broadcast television licenses. During Watergate, Richard Nixon’s FCC challenged two TV licenses of stations owned by the Washington Post. So mere information gathering can become a little more serious, given that enormous clout.  As FCC Commissioner Ajit Pai notes in a Wall Street Journal op-ed, the commission “plans to ask station managers, news directors, journalists, television anchors and on-air reporters to tell the government about their 'news philosophy' and how the station ensures that the community gets critical information.” The first test is slated for this spring in Columbia, S.C.
"I know that television stations are licensed in the public interest. It’s fair for the FCC to examine how much news a station offers, as opposed to lucrative game shows and syndicated reruns. But the content of that news ought to be off-limits...."  [Source]


2/19/14

Two Points to Ponder

Our Alaska Contributor, TG, has two points to ponder:
1. We are urged to not judge all Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to
judge all Gun Owners by the actions of a few lunatics.  Funny how that works.
2. We constantly hear how Social Security is going to run out of money. How come we
never hear about Welfare running out of money?  What's interesting is the first group worked for their money, but the second didn't.

Socialist Medicine in Action: Girl dies as cancer care is denied

Nadejah Williams, 23, was denied CyberKnife treatment for cancer  by Britain's National Health Service three times and by the time she received it, it was too late. Her devastated mother, Michelle Campbell-Cairns, a cancer care nurse, raged: “They killed my daughter.”  More

Power-crazy EPA resizes Wyoming

Investors Business Daily warns: "Just when you thought the imperial presidency of Barack Obama couldn't get any worse, consider the citizens of Riverton, Wyo. They woke up one morning to be told by the Environmental Protection Agency they no longer lived in the sovereign state of Wyoming, but in the Wind River Indian Reservation.The EPA's redrawing of the state's boundaries came at year's end in response to a request from the Northern Arapaho and Eastern Shoshone tribes for "state status" under the Clean Air Act to get more grant money and sovereignty in monitoring air quality.
Instead of giving the tribes the authority to conduct air quality monitoring, the EPA, which continues to act as an unelected fourth branch of government, unilaterally and unconstitutionally voided a 1905 agreement between Congress and Wyoming revising the reservation's boundaries. This, in effect, transferred 1 million acres of Wyoming to the tribes, including Riverton. [More]


Barack Obama's Diary: The World according to Me

Dear Diary: I normally try to avoid overwork. But today was a doozy. Up at first light and on to Marine One then AirForce One. A breakfast of two eggs over-easy with wholewheat toast and then some Zzzzzzzzs on the flight to Toluca, Mexico, where I was to meet with President Nieto  and Prime Minister Harper of Canada. I couldn't take my accustomed lunchtime nap as we three leaders  had a working lunch at Cosmovitral Botanical Gardens, followed by a walk and talk with Prime Minister Harper of Canada in which I gave him the benefit of my all-encompassing world view. We then all met again at the Palace of Justice and I included Nieto, the newbie, in  continuing to explain how they should both interpret current events. I wasn't able to depart Mexico until 8.50, when I planned to grab some more Zzzzzs before reaching the White House at 2.05 am. Alas, barely had my grizzled but proud presidential head touched the crisp  pillows of my airborne bedroom, when my iPresidentophone  sounded The Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairy."Hello Vlad. " I said, for it was he."Obamavich!" He declared angrily. "Keep the hell out of Ukraine!" "Yes, Sir, Mr Putin, Sir," I said. "What's up in Ukraine?"
"You have an unfortunate sense of humor, Obamavich. Kiev is ablaze."
"Kiev?" I ventured delicately. "Oh, piss off Obamavich," he replied.  "Enough already with your all-encompassing ignorance of  things foreign. Just go to sleep and get your orders from Ms Jarrett in the morning. Dos Vedonya, tovarich." And-- just like that-- he was gone.

Liberals applauded for not lying

"Liberals are winning wild praise for their candor in admitting problems with Obamacare. It shows you the level of honesty people have come to expect of our liberal friends. Now, liberals are applauded for not lying through their teeth about something," writes Ann Coulter.
She adds:  "What are they supposed to say? This Obamacare website is fantastic! And really, haven't you already read all the magazines in your current doctor's office anyway?
"The New York Times has described Obama's repeated claim that you could keep your insurance plan and keep your doctor under Obamacare as a mere slip of the tongue: "Mr. Obama clearly misspoke when he said that." How exactly does one misspeak, word for word, dozens of times, over and over again? That wasn't misspeaking -- it was a deliberate, necessary lie. Even Democrats couldn't have voted for Obamacare if Americans had known the truth. It was absolutely vital for Obama to lie about people being able to keep their insurance and their doctors."  [Source]

Barack Obama's Diary: Enough already

Dear Diary: I came to a decision last night: I am going to  start hitting back at all the mounting, unfair, criticisms of me. It is stressing me out. Here I am -- one of the supreme intellects of the world -- being insulted by idiots who couldn't find their way out of a paper bag with an arrow pointing to Exit. I have asked Eric the Withholder to make life very difficult for such people.  I will raise this again with Doctor Rink, however his usual advice is to smoke less pot which he says is making me paranoid. But enough about me.

2/18/14

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Minimum wage hike threatens 500,000 jobs

Keith Koffler of White House Dossier writes: "A plan backed by President Obama to increase the minimum hourly wage from $7.25 to $10.10 would cost the United States 500,000 jobs in just two and a half years, according to the Congressional Budget Office. The CBO, which earlier this month released the startling finding that 2.5 million workers would scale back their hours or stop working because of Obamacare, is proving once again that it is a repository of reliable data while the White House is a suppository of useless information..."   [Source]

Barack Obama's Diary: Ungrateful nation

Over seven in 10 Obama voters, and 55 percent of Democrats, regret voting for my re-election in 2012, according to a new Economist/YouGov.com poll. Talk about ingratitude! As I said to Doctor Rink "After all I have done for this nation,  this is how they treat me."
Dr Rink replied that maybe it was because  of all I have done for the nation that this is how they treat me. As if. Impudent man. But enough about me.

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/18/14 Patient returned from California more relaxed, but feeling sorry for himself after Lech Walesa was rude about patient's leadership, or lack thereof. Today his massive ego was sledge-hammered again by  Hollywood filmmaker Oliver Stone who called him "weak and spineless."  I can do nothing to supply a spine to patient...just  a mild sedative to prevent a complete meltdown. I'll have to dial up the dose if he gets even more carried away with his executive powers. Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Oliver Stone: Obama 'a weak and spineless man'

Hollywood film-maker Oliver Stone  has joined  former Polish President  Lech Waleska in criticising Barack Obama's lack of global leadership, accusing Obama of being a "weak and spineless man". [More]

2/17/14

The Thief Executive eyes your retirement savings

Reuters and Zero Hedge posted articles this past week about the EU's serious plan for the wholesale confiscation of the personal savings accounts of over 500 million EU members to prop up their moribund economies. Zero Hedge pointed to the possibility that Obama’s MyRA could end up being the same thing.  It’s not just a possibility, Mr. Obama has enunciated this plan in his 2008 and 2013 budgets. He clearly wants the $17.5 trillion in personal retirement savings accounts and he believes the government should be the steward of our money.

Flight of honor

Private pilots mount a flyover for dead airmen's funeral  that Airforce refused to perform

Language nazis want to ban the word 'bankrupt'

EU language nazis want the word 'bankrupt' replaced by 'debt adjusted'. Details here.

Romney redux


A refreshed and feisty Mitt Romney hits back at David Gregory.

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards a 9th grade biology teacher in Romeo, Michigan, who set students a homework assignment this week that featured questions about a mother trying to determine the identity of her baby. Possible answers included: the cable guy, the mailman, the cab driver, the bartender and the guy at the club.
“The goal is that the students are understanding blood types and DNA and possibilities based on the makeup of the two parents,” explained Romeo Schools Superintendent Nancy Campbell. [More]       [ECS]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/17/14: Patient has been exhibiting his usual paranoid response to criticism. He likes to think he is a decisive go-getter and inspirational leader and takes it hard when a figure like Lech Walesa dismisses his leadership as 'failed'. When I caught up with patient in his private quarters after his return from California, I found him face down on the hideous brown sofa, pounding the pillows  with his fists, his eyes red-rimmed from weeping. Or pot smoking. I  don't know what he gets up to on Air Force One. But his aides are responsive to his every need, so there is likely to be a humidor of pre-rolled joints on board. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.

Barack Obama's Diary: Wake-up calls

Dear Diary: A difficult day. I had a wake-up call from Michelle who was up early for a day's skiing in Aspen, checking to see that I was sober and up and about.  That was followed by a call frpm the increasingly irritating Vladimir Putin.  "Obamavich, that hockey game that you supposedly won 3-2. was the result of blatant bias by the American referee. Your athletes are doing disappointingly, Obamavich. The medal count is farcical for a country  of yoursize. Bwaaa!ha!ha!ha! And even fatty Walesa of Poland has been publicly insulting your leadership as inadequate" 

Lech Walesa rips Obama's 'failed' leadership

Anti-communist crusader and former president of Poland, Lech Walesa says that, of all the national leaders currently on the world stage, the one who has "disillusioned" him the most is President Barack Obama. Walesa also asserts that Obama "wasn't ready" to take on the task of leading the world's most dominant superpower. And he calls for reforms at the United Nations so the world body can help fill the vacuum left by the United States' failure of leadership under Obama. [Source]

2/16/14

Dim Crims: Tweezers spark 100mph chase

An employee of the Pleasant Hill Hy-Vee in Des Moines  contacted police to report two women allegedly shoplifting.  The women left the store and got into a pickup truck driven by Jerry Lee Pancoast, 42. When officers tried to pull the pickup over, Pancoast sped away, reaching speeds over 100 mph. Altoona police set out stop strips on a portion of the interstate that goes through the suburb. That didn’t stop Pancoast, who continued to drive on deflated tires. When he pulled into a parking lot, the truck burst into flames, but Pancoast and three passengers escaped without injury. After firefighters doused the flames, police found the alleged "loot" inside-- a pair of tweezers and an eyebrow pencil. [BJS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: First aides

Dear Diary: A fine day of golf on the nine-hole course on the Annenberg  estate, Sunnylands, at Rancho Mirage, California. Everything went  according to plan.  I played with childhood buddies Bobby Titcomb, Greg Orme and Michael Ramos.  I was good to see them again, but I prefer to play with my aides Marv Nicholson and Sam Kass who know how to subtly add a couple strokes  when they come  too close to beating the Boss. We had a few Dos Equis  brewskis last night-- swigged straight from the bottle, macho-style,  and we all agreed that we were the most interesting men in the world. Later I had a vivid dream in which Mitt Romney --like the dying monster in a horror movie--suddenly came back to life. But enough about me.

Inhale this, President Pothead

The paradoxical status of marijuana in the US—it is legal to grow and sell in some states, but remains illegal under federal law—makes it hard to regulate. In theory, Californian state or local regulators should be able to set environmental standards for cannabis cultivation, the way they might with grapes or timber. But the federal government won’t let them. As a result, growers enjoy unregulated use of water, and the resulting easy profits have helped attract operations that are increasingly industrial in scale—and run by growers who are unrepentant about sucking California dry.  [Source]      [BJS]

Remington sets its sights on Alabama

Numerous sources are reporting that gun manufacturer Remington Outdoor is bringing as many as 2,000 jobs to Huntsville, Ala.
The Military Times reports that Remington Outdoor is purchasing a 500,000 square foot facility to help meet “unprecedented demand” for its products. It also reports that the company was courted by no fewer than 24 states and localities.

Dim Crims: Student tricks mugger

Jason Dunne pointed a gun at an 18-year-old student  in Manchester, England, and demanded his cellphone, saying: “Do you want to be shot?'’ Thinking quickly, the student said: “Wow, what’s that over there?’' Dunne fell for it and looked, giving the young man enough time to punch the bad guy in the face and run away. Security cameras at Manchester University caught the scene and led to Dunne being arrested. [Source]    [ BJS]

You called 911 for that?

Each week, Washington County, Oregon,  posts bad examples of 911 calls in its “You called 911 for that?” campaign designed to draw attention to the dangers of non-emergency calls that tie up 911 lines. This week’s call:
OPERATOR: 911, Police Fire and Medical.
CALLER: Yeah we got a problem here. My wife is struggling in her jacket and can't get it off. I want 911 here immediately.
OPERATOR: Is she not breathing?
CALLER: She's alright, she just can't get her [expletive] jacket off.
Just in case you were wondering, the fire department responded, rescued the woman and saved the jacket.       [ECS]

2/14/14

Time to impeach Obama, says Judge

The only way to stop President Barack Obama from nullifying duly enacted laws is impeachment, says Judge Andrew Napolitano, a former New Jersey Superior Court judge.
"At some point he is totally frustrating what Congress has written," Napolitano said on Fox News.
Republicans have accused Obama of using his executive powers improperly to delay portions of his own healthcare law for political expediency. They also say he has used those powers to enact gun control and immigration rules. Napolitano said there are 11 million people in the United States who could be deported to their native countries, but Obama has told them, "If you do A, B, C, D, and E, I won't deport you" — effectively telling them they can break the law and suffer no consequences.

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Dim Crims: Snow-prints betray burglar

Police in Macomb County, Michigan, were investigating a home break-in when they noticed footprints in the snow leading to a neighbor's house. According to The Macomb Daily, a resident returned home to find the window of his back door broken. Several items were missing, including prescription drugs, cash and jewelry. Police followed footprints in the snow from the victim's house to the front porch of the suspect's house. When they arrived, no one was home. Police watched until the 29-year-old suspect showed up, wearing Nike tennis shoes that matched the footprints in the snow.         [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: My great escape

Dear Diary: Yesterday I was lamenting that I had been affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is supposed to result from shorter days and excessive precipitation. I attributed it to lack of golf. But I reckoned without my  cunning aides who have circumvented that by setting up a meeting with King Abdullah of Jordan at the Annenberg Sunnylands estate in Rancho Mirage, California, where I’ll meet with the King to discuss Syria and other issues. Weirdly enough, Sunnylands has a fine nine-hole golf course. Even more surprisingly, my golf buddies have flown in to join me for a three-day weekend. Today I'm playing with old pals Titcomb Greg Omre, and Michael Ramos. Once I've said farewell to the king it would be  no great surprise ifall then found ourselves on the links. But enough about me.

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/14/14-- Patient has convinced himself that he, and the rest of the country, have Seasonal Affective Disorder which is making everyone depressed and that nothing he can do will affect his poor standing among the electorate. Snow, thunder, sleet, freezing rain,  short nights and poor Olympic results for the US team will combine to make people  even more hostile towards him. "Doctor," he asked me. What can I do? "
"Stop smoking weed for a start," I replied.That, alone, will reduce your constant paranoia." What a moron. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

2/13/14

Hypocrite-in-chief caught in action

This has surfaced on the Internet and is spreading like wildfire --- ECS

Dim Crims: 'Selfie' nails suspect

A suspect was held by police in  Chula Vista, California, after investigators found a cellphone he allegedly left behind after breaking into the house of worship. On the phone, police say they found a "selfie" of the suspect. [Source]       BJS

Dim Crims: Pothead chainsaw robber arrested

Police were called to a local 7-Eleven store in Ipswich, Australia, after reports that a chainsaw-wielding suspect, wearing a flowerpot on his head to disguise his identity, made a memorable attempt to rob the store. Workers at the convenience store say around 4:30 a.m. Steele "lunged at them" with the chainsaw and then attacked several display racks and a window while demanding money.
Police say things got even more bizarre when Steele's pants dropped "exposing his buttocks" to the shocked store employees. Instead of handing over cash, employees fled to a back room.
Steele allegedly then gave up and left with only a bottle of soda. He didn't get far. A police officer responding to reports of the robbery noticed Steele walking down a nearby street and arrested him. [Source]      [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: SAD days of Winter

Dear Diary: I think I may have discovered the root of my current depression. I happened upon an article on the Internet  about Seasonal Affective Disorder -- a depression that is said to be caused by a combination of cold temperatures, precipitation and shorter days. Myself, I think it may  be more to do with a lack of golf.  I don't think it's anything thing that a fat toke of Blueberry Yum Yum won't cure. I ruminated, as I was chewing my Froot Loops this morning, that Vlad Putin has been conspicuously absent  from the phone since the Sochi games began and the snow there started melting. By an odd coincidence as I scooped up my last Froot Loops, my iPresidentophone  burst into a rendition of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. "Good morning,  Vlad," I said, for it was he.  I cracked wise: "I hear your winter games have turned to glorious summer."
"Nonsense," he said. "Obamavich, you are saying that only because your athletes are performing so badly." But enough about me.

Allen West warns of tyranny by skin color

Black former Congressman Allen West warns that America is sliding towards tyranny precisely because of Barack Obama's  skin color.  [Read more]

2/12/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Awkwa-a-a-a-a-a-r-d....

Dear Diary: I awoke this morning with an overwhelming  feeling of relief. At last night's state banquet for French President Francois Hollande, we had to seat him between Michelle and myself. I made numerous attempts to engage him in conversation but he  grew more withdrawn with each attempt. "How is  your lady friend  Valerie Rotweiler? I asked
"Trierweiler," he said.
"Rotweiler... Trierweiler...whatever. Michelle and I regret that she couldn't join you."
Since the French are so famously open-minded on matters of the boudoir, I ventured: Why didn't you bring your mistress instead?
"That is... how you say? None of your goddam business," replied the ill-tempered Frog. 
I could feel an anxiety attack coming on, so
I signaled Valerie Jarrett by catching her eye and tugging my ear. She immediately went to Dr Rink's table and arranged for a men's room rendezvous for Rink and I. I slipped away quietly. Rink was waiting and quickly reassured me, as only he can. "Your majesty, take this," he said and gave me a sedative to dissolve under my tongue. Crisis over. Hollande returns to France today. Yippeee!  I have to ask him one last favor: To use his influence to suppress the French media hysteria about my supposedly banging Beyonce. But enough about me.

ObamaCare's biggest hurdle? Obama

 This week, the White House again delayed the ObamaCare mandate for medium-sized employers to provide health care to workers; it also lightened requirements for large employers. The Washington Post editorial board has had enough of the tinkering: Its members are fed up with "President Obama’s increasingly cavalier approach to picking and choosing how to enforce this law." The administration's latest move was an effort to avoid anger ahead of the midterm elections this year, the editors write, and that's not a valid reason to ignore the "plainest interpretation of Congress’s intent." [More]   ---BJS


Bubba wins Red Dress Award

Bill Clinton took the stage at Woman’s Day magazine’s Red Dress Awards on Tuesday night to accept an award on behalf of his family’s foundation, the Bill, Hillary & Chelsea Clinton Foundation, for its efforts in combating childhood obesity.
Kofi, our imprudent parrot, asks: "Bubba, shouldn't that be a Blue Dress Award? --ECS

Amazing: Democrat's ad disowns ObamaCare

This commercial was released by a Democratic group on behalf of an incumbent Democrat. The new ad, released Wednesday by House Majority PAC to defend Rep. Joe Garcia of Florida, highlights the approach Democratic strategists are adopting as they try to inoculate vulnerable incumbents from the botched launch of ObamaCare. [More]         [BJS]

Cartoon: Aftermath

[TerrellAtermath.com]

Dim Crims: Congratulations! It's a joint

David Bastin brought his girlfriend to the Martin Memorial Medical Center in Stuart, Florida on February 4, so she could give birth to the couple’s baby.
Nervous about the responsibilities associated with becoming a new father, Bastin reportedly sought the support of his trusty vaporizer and began smoking some weed in the room where his girlfriend was laboring to bring a child into the world. A nurse working on the infant wing, one that had apparently been to her fair share of rock concerts, caught a whiff of the pot and alerted police.
Unsympathetic to the fact that Bastin was just a short time away from welcoming the arrival of his new child, officers placed him under arrest, charging him with marijuana possession under 20 grams and possession of drug paraphernalia. Bastin was reportedly held on a $1,500 bond and released from jail the following day. Rumor has it that dad and his new baby were released into society around the same time. [Source]

Press freedom plunges under Obama

The Obama administration’s handling of whistleblower Edward Snowden, the National Security Agency leaks and the investigation of a string of leaks produced a plunge in the country’s rating on press freedoms and government openness, according to a global survey released Tuesday.
The U.S. under President Obama, who once promised to run the “most transparent” administration in the country’s history, fell from 32nd to 46th in the 2014 World Press Freedom Index, a drop of 13 slots. The index, compiled by the press advocacy group Reporters Without Borders, analyzes 180 countries on criteria such as official abuse, media independence and infrastructure to determine how free journalists are to report.
Officials of the group said press freedoms were under attack around the world as governments grow increasingly sophisticated in collecting sensitive data and in tracking down those who leak it.
“Journalists are being caught up in what is, I think, fairly characterized as a rapidly growing surveillance apparatus, and this is happening all over the world,” said Geoffrey King, Internet advocacy coordinator for the Committee to Protect Journalists.  Read more        ECS

Kofi asks: If O-care is so great why does O keep delaying it?

Kofi, Laughing Conservative's resident parrot, asks: "If ObamaCare is so wonderful, why does Obama keep delaying it?"  --ECS

2/11/14

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

At the White House state dinner Valerie  Jarrett stopped by my chair, leaned over and  and whispered fiercely in my ear: "Doctor, he needs help." I seems that Patient panicked when Francois Hollande explained the concept of lèse-majesté to him. Patient is now convinced that he is not being paid the respect due to him as a Head of State ."Tell him I'll meet him in the men's room while the salad course is cleared," I told her. Patient appeared soon after. 
"Aah! Your Majesty!" I declared. "What did you think lèse-majesté  meant before Francois Hollande explained it to you?"
"I just assumed it was how people adressed a royal lesbian."
"Don't fret, majesty," I told the moron. "It's nothing that a few more regulations  and a shot of a mild sedative won't fix." He looked at me with grateful eyes and then navigated his way carefully back to the top table. As I sat down again, I caught Val Jarrett's eye and gave her a discreet thumbs-up. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D

The purpose-drained life

Mark Steyn writes: "When William Beveridge laid out his blueprint for the modern British welfare state in 1942, his goal was the "abolition of want," to be accomplished by "cooperation between the State and the individual." In attempting to insulate the citizenry from the vicissitudes of fate, Sir William succeeded beyond his wildest dreams: Want has been all but abolished. Today, fewer and fewer Britons want to work, want to marry, want to raise children, want to lead a life of any purpose or dignity. "Cooperation" between the State and the individual has resulted in a huge expansion of the former and the ceaseless withering of the latter."   [More here]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/11/14  As a psychiatrist, I encounter some strange ideas in the course of my life. But none stranger than the arranging of a state dinner for a visiting President in a  heated tent on a lawn outside, in winter, when more than a foot of snow is forecast. I will be present at the state dinner for Francois Hollande by request of Valerie Jarrett, who clearly shares my concerns for the possible consequences  of snow meeting warm fabric and the need for discreet assistance should my patient suffer an anxiety attack. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

2/10/14

Question of the Day...

If ObamaCare is so terrific, why does Obama keep delaying it?     [ECS]

Their majesties flaunt their good fortune

King Barack and Queen Michelle flaunted their good fortune in the faces of America today. More details here.

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/10/14: Is is not unusual for  someone such as myself to feel embarrassment on behalf of a patient.  But this patient is straining the limits of my tolerance.   He has somehow convinced himself that he is fluent in French and in the brief course of the visit of the French President Francois Hollande,  patient has unknowingly said "sh*t" to him several times  and " Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?" which means "Would you like to sleep with me?" rather than "would you like to sit next to me?" which was what patient intended.   Even the thought of these gaffes makes me cringe.---Dictated by S.H. Rink M.D.

Why O-Care will stunt US growth

Scott Grannis of Calafia Beach Pundit writes that the Congressional Budget Office has made a huge breakthrough with its calculation that  Obamacare will stunt economic growth: "In the world of public policy, the Congressional Budget Office's recent finding that Obamacare will weaken economic growth and reduce future employment is like an earthquake of Magnitude 8. Finally, finally, the CBO has introduced dynamic assumptions into its models of how the economy responds to existing and proposed policies. ...Before, the CBO would assume that a 10% increase in tax rates would translate into a 10% increase in tax revenues.
"Now and forevermore, we hope, they will calculate how much the higher rate is likely to depress economic activity (e.g., higher marginal tax rates are likely to cause a reduction in the tax base that could offset all or part of the increase in tax rates). The CBO now acknowledges that Obamacare will hurt the economy because it creates incentives for people to work less. The phasing out of Obamacare subsidies will act as a new marginal tax on work, and whenever you raise taxes on some activity, you should expect to see less of it..." [Source]           BJS

Barack Obama's Diary: Vive le socialisme!

Dear Diary: "Bonjour, Francois....bienvenue a l'Amerique" I began today by repolishing my excellent French during breakfast, to be ready for the arrival of French President Francois Hollande. "Bonjour, Monsieur Hollande," I said to his imaginary presence, between mouthfuls of Froot Loops.  "Vive le  Socialisme!"  Hollande is a staunch socialist and we will have much in common. Later, when I met him in person, he seemed a nice enough.  "Bonjour, Monsieur," I said,"We have some fun activities lined up for you. I plan to take you for a spin aboard Air Force One, so you Frogs can see how things  should be done by a country that can afford it." Hollande  looked at me strangely and said : "Merde."  which seemed to indicate pleasure. "Oui, merde," I agreed pleasantly.    And then I told him that we would be flying to Charlottesville to explore Monticello, former home of Thomas Jefferson who, like me, was a polymath and Renaissance man. But enough about me.

2/9/14

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Dim Crims: Burglar traps himself

A burglar was trapped while trying to enter a house through a bathroom window  in Howden, Yorkshire, England, and ended up hanging upside down  over the toilet – he then tried to call for help but dropped his phone in the bath, a court heard.
Daniel Severn, 27, was stuck for over an-hour-and-a-half twisting to free himself.
He was found by the owner of the house who came into the bathroom in the morning to get ready for work. Severn, who admitted he was a heroin addict, was jailed for two years and four months. [more]      BJS

The Ant and the grasshopper: Two Versions

Our industrious Alaska Contributor, TG, sends this:

 THE  NEW ANT and the Grasshopper, " Two Versions:"
The  ANT
AND  THE
GRASSHOPPER    
  
 OLD  VERSION: 

The 
ant works
hard  in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and  laying up supplies for the winter.  

The 
grasshopper
thinks  the
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.  
Come  winter, the
ant is warm
and  well fed.
The 
grasshopper has
no  food or shelter, so he
dies  out in the cold.

MORAL  OF THE OLD STORY:


  Be  responsible for yourself!  
MODERN  
VERSION  
The 
ant works hard
in  the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house  
and  laying up supplies for the winter.
 The 
grasshopper thinks the ant
is  a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.  


Come  winter, the shivering
grasshopper
calls  a press conference and demands to know why the
ant should be  
allowed  to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..  

CBS,  NBC, PBS, CNN,
and 
ABC show up to
provide  pictures of the shivering
grasshopper
next  to a video of the
ant
in  his comfortable home with a table filled with food.  
America  is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How  can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper  
is  allowed to suffer so?
Kermit  the Frog
appears  on
Oprah
with  the
grasshopper
and  everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green ...'  
 Occupy  the Anthill
stages  
a  demonstration in front of the
ant's
house  where the news stations film the SEIU group singing,
we shall overcome.
Then  Rev Al Sharpton's assistant
has  the group kneel down to pray for the
grasshopper  
while  he damns the ants. The Reverend Al can not attend as he has contractual commitments to appear
on his MSNBC show for which he is paid over two million dollars a year to complain that rich people do not care.

President  Obama
condemns  the
ant
and  blames
President  Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan,  Christopher Columbus, and the  
Pope  
for  the
grasshopper's  
plight

Nancy  Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim  in an interview on The View
   
that  the
ant has
gotten  rich off the back of the
grasshopper 
,  
and  both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair  share.

Finally,  the
EEOC drafts
the 
Economic  Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper  Act
retroactive  to the beginning of
the  summer.
The 
ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number  
of 
green  bugs and,
having  nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the 
Government  Green Czar
and  given to the
grasshopper .

The  story ends as we see the
grasshopper
and  his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the
ant's  food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just  happens to be the
ant's  old house,
crumbles  around them because the
grasshopper  doesn't maintain it.

The 
ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.  

The 
grasshopper  is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now  abandoned, is taken
over  by a gang of
spiders  who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
The  entire
Nation collapses
bringing  the rest
of  the free world with it.


MORAL  OF THE STORY:

 Be  careful how you vote in 2014 and 2016.