7/29/14

Obama told: Don't Meddle

 A top Israeli official wants President Barack Obama to stop meddling with the Jewish state during its conflict with Hamas in Gaza.
Speaking to Israel’s Army Radio, Housing and Construction Minister Uri Ariel criticized Obama telling Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that there should be an immediate ceasefire in Gaza.
“Leave us alone,” Ariel told Army Radio, directing his words at Obama. “Go focus on Syria.”  [Source]

Hillary: Bush brought out 'my American pride'

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton raised eyebrows on CNN by claiming that former President George W. Bush actually brought out her patriotism and made her proud of her American roots.
She also seemed to take a pot shot at President Obama’s foreign affairs policies during an interview on the “Fareed Zakaria GPS” show on CNN, The Washington Times reports.
“We have to go back out and sell ourselves. It is not to be taken for granted. What do we stand for and how do we intend to lead and manage? How do we try to enlist the rest of the world in this struggle between cooperation and order and conflict and disorder which is really at the root of so much that’s going on today — and I don’t think we’ve done a very good job of that.”
Mrs. Clinton went on, discussing the differences between headline news and actual trends — appearing to suggest that it was Mr. Bush, and not Mr. Obama, who had a long-term view of the international stage.
“Of course, there are specifics,” she said, Breitbart reported. “They’re all the headlines we can talk about.
“But the trend lines, let’s not forget the trend lines. George W. Bush is very popular in Sub-Saharan Africa. Why? Because of the president’s emergency program for AIDS relief. Whether you agree or disagree with a lot of what else he did — and I disagree with a lot of it — I am proud to be an American when I go to Sub-Saharan Africa and people say, ‘I want to thank President Bush and the United States for helping us fight HIV/AIDS.’”  Read more:

7/28/14

Where, oh where, is Obama?

Britain's Telegraph says: "Consider this: In recent days, a) Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 was shot down, apparently by Russian separatists in Ukraine, b) In the Gaza strip, the numbers killed continued to mount as Israelis and Palestinians exchange rocket fire, c) a huge influx of children fleeing Central American poverty and gang warfare swamped America’s southern border, creating a humanitarian crisis.

And, oh yeah, d) Christians living in Mosul were given the choice to either convert to Islam or flee the area they have inhabited for nearly two thousand years.

You know what else has happened during this time? a) Obama played many rounds of golf, b) he attended numerous fund-raisers, c) he dined on barbecue in Texas and burgers in Delaware, and d) he almost appeared on the comedian Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night television show in Hollywood.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Coming soon: Sarah Palin TV

Sarah Palin has unveiled a new subscription-based Internet TV network that promises direct access to her and her supporters, Variety reports. The Sarah Palin Channel, which costs $9.95 per month or $99.95 for a one-year subscription, will feature her commentary on “important issues facing the nation,” as well as behind-the-scenes looks into her personal life as “mother, grandmother, wife and neighbor.” Palin will serve as executive editor, overseeing all content.
“I want to talk directly to you on our channel, on my terms — and no need to please the powers that be,” Palin, who is also a Fox News contributor, said in a video announcing the channel: “Together, we’ll go beyond the sound bites and cut through the media’s politically correct filter.”  [Source]

Barack Obama's: Diary: The high road

Dear Diary: The situation nationally and internationally has become unmanageable because nobody will listen to me.  The answer came to me last evening as I inhaled a joint of blueberry yum-yum on the South lawn. I am increasingly worried that some crazed Republican is at this moment scouting for a suitable grassy knoll. Scary. then the solution came to me. I will substitute somebody else for me --an imposter, if you will.  It s a ruse used in the past by the appalling Churchill and others of global stature. But who could possibly  fill my shoes?  Fate took a hand after I returned to the Oval Office. Eric Withholder knocked on the door and entered. Perfect! Same skin-tone. Just remove his facial fuzz and he would pass for me, at a quick glance. "Eric," I said. "I have a brilliant plan for you."
"I am at your service, Dear Leader, he curtsied."Your word is my command."
"For a start, don't curtsy. It's unbecoming to a man. A little bow will suffice." But enough about Me.

7/25/14

Progress report on Patient No. 540463 OBAMA, Barack, H.

7/25/14:  I had planned to sleep late in my nifty little White House suite and order breakfast from the kitchen over the internal phone system. But barely had I drawn up a chair to a table laden with wholewheat toast, bacon, coffee and eggs over-easy, when the phone rang. It was Valerie Jarrett. " Come to the family quarters, quick as you can," she said. "He's having a full-on panic attack." I bounded up the stairs two at a time and found patient pointing mutely  at the window.  On the other side of the glass was a tiny flying machine. A drone!
"Tennis racquet, quick!" I told an ashen-faced Jarrett  who vanished, then reappeared in seconds bearing the requested item. I flung open  the window and brought the racquet down hard on the drone. It buzzed like a wounded bee then fell, crumpled, onto the South  Lawn. The Secret Service examined it and found a provocative Россия [Russia] inscribed upon its wings.  Patient, after he had recovered, declared it a maneuver by Vladimir Putin to unnerve him. Clearly, it had succeeded.  Dictated by S.H Rink, M.D.

Cartoon: Aftermath

[From Afterrmath]

7/24/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Who's your Daddy, Vladdy?

Dear Diary:  My day began with the expected arrogant call from Vlad Putin. "Watch it, Vlad" I said.  Knowing that he would call me, I had prepared advance notes so I would sound fluent and decisive: "We are stepping up sanctions in response to your militarism in Ukraine and the murder of scores of innocents blown out of the shy by your missiles. "You are a wicked man, Vladimir Putin. A very wicked man -- history will not remember  you kindly, unlike me, Barack Obama, whom the world already sees in a golden light and everybody from kings to peasants calls Hero."
Putin was breathing heavily and I could hear the entreaties of his mistress in the background, clearly audible on our new High Definition hotline: "Come to me Vladdy, my muscular dollink, and leave that American moron to his cereal and milk". But enough about me.

Dim Crims: Road rage man run over by own truck

A man who police say had been drinking was involved in a road rage incident during a downpour Tuesday evening and was injured when he was run over by his own pickup truck.
Joseph H. Carl, 48,  drove his truck into the rear of a vehicle in front of him that was stopped at a traffic light, according to a Gainesville, Florida, Police report.
Carl then jumped out and began banging on the driver's window and yelling at the woman inside, apparently neglecting to put his pickup into park.
The driver of the other vehicle was frightened and drove away, leaving nothing to hold back Carl's Dodge 1500 truck. The truck began to roll, and Carl, standing in front of the vehicle, put out his arms and tried to stop it, but it ran over him. Police and paramedics arrived, but Carl refused medical treatment, the report said. [Source]   [BJS]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles has rolled the Dung Beetle Award towards the editors of Roget's Thesaurus, the classic reference work of synonyms which now defines 'conservative' as synonymous with "obstructionist" [Source]   [ECS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Anti-semitic riots sweep Paris

France’s politicians and community leaders have criticised the “intolerable” violence against Paris’ Jewish community, after a pro-Palestinian rally led to the vandalizing and looting of Jewish businesses and the burning of cars.
It is the third time in a week where pro-Palestinian activists have clashed with the city’s Jewish residents. On Sunday, locals reported chats of “Gas the Jews” and “Kill the Jews”, as rioters attacked businesses in the Sarcelles district, known as “little Jerusalem”.
Manuel Valls, France’s prime minister said: “What happened in Sarcelles is intolerable. An attack on a synagogue and on a kosher shop is simply anti-Semitism. Nothing in France can justify this violence.”



7/23/14

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

7/23/14:  Valerie Jarrett called again to say Patient is still inconsolable. She suggested that I revert to our old arrangement where I would be provided with a  room so I would be on call for Patient in emergencies.  I visited Patient's family apartment and again found him in extreme  distress -- lying face down --not on the hideous brown sofa this time but on the floor, pounding  the indescribably ugly  pizza-patterned carpet. Between his bouts of cursing and wailing  I was able to determine that a new Fox News poll finds a 58 percent majority, including a third of Democrats, say the White House has not been competent at managing the federal government. "Woe," said Patient " Woe is me." I injected a modest dose of Ativan to calm him down. Then I phoned my office, leaving a  message that I might be late in  the morning. Dictated by M.H. Rink, M.D

Bam plays the Joker

Barack Obama styles himself a wit, and some of his best material lately has to do with his abuse of his powers.
“Middle-class families can’t wait for Republicans in Congress to do stuff,” Obama told a crowd on the Georgetown Waterfront on July 1. “So sue me.” Hilarity ensued.
He cracked them up in Austin last week. “You hear some of them,” he said, referring to Republicans, “‘sue him,’ ‘impeach him.’ Really? Really? For what? You’re going to sue me for doing my job?”
He must have killed in a private meeting last month with activists who were pushing him to waive more immigration laws. According to POLITICO, the president resorted to one his favorite comic riffs: “You’re not going to get me impeached, are you?”   Read more      [BJS]

Bibi wreathed in smiles as he welcomes Lurch to Israel

Bibi Netanyahu grins with pleasures he greets Secretary of State  John Kerry

Socialized medicine at work

Eleven out of 12 fake applications for government-subsidized health insurance got through a verification process and the bogus beneficiaries are still covered, the Government Accountability Office said.
The GAO launched the sting to check to see how well the Obamacare process checks for counterfeit applications. The results were messy, GAO’s Seto Bagdoyan says in testimony prepared for a hearing Wednesday of the House Ways and Means oversight subcommittee. [BJS]

What Israel understands and Obama never will

Nobody says it  better than Mark Steyn: "...Obama doesn't believe in "the free world" and certainly not in America as "leader" of it. And so Putin took his wretched passivity at face value, and figured there was no need to stop his ghouls from mugging the dead.
In Ukraine as in the Holy Land, civilization sits precariously on a field sodden in blood. Israel understands this. Obama and Kerry never will."  [Read it all]

Progress Notes for patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

7/22/14: These are difficult days for Patient. Valerie Jarrett called today and asked me to make a discreet  visit to Patient's family apartment.  I let myself into the private apartment, where I found Patient face down on the hideous brown sofa pounding it with his fists while wailing pitifully.  It seems that The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia has delivered a ruling that could scuttle the Affordable Care Act. I gave patient an injection of a  mild sedative and advised Jarrett to let him sleep and to call me back if his extreme distress had not eased by dinnertime. Dictated by S.H. Rink, MD.

7/21/14

Dim crims: Shoplifter 'hid vibrator behind child in stroller'

A woman who allegedly tried to steal a vibrator from the “love section” of a Spencer’s gift shop in South Carolina was foiled when a store employee spotted her stashing the device behind her child, who was seated in a stroller, police report.
Misty Ann Lee, 38, was nabbed Friday afternoon inside the WestGate Mall in Spartanburg, according to a police report. She was cited for shoplifting and booked into the county jail (from which she was released Friday evening).
A Spencer’s manager told cops that she saw Lee “select a vibrator from the love unit” and then move to the “t-shirt cube,” where she allegedly slid the item “behind a young child in the stroller.” Lee then departed the store, worker Dawn Hamilton told investigators. [Source]

Progress Report for Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

7/21/14 : My heart goes out to Patient on rare occasions. His war of words with Vladimir Putin over the  Ukraine  missile disaster, is one such occasion. Invective is not Patient's strong point. 'Poopy-head' is  as far as he has gone, this time, and he was promptly called "crap-head Kenyan" in return. World leaders operate on a far higher intellectual plane than the rest of us. Dictated by S.H.Rink M.D.

Dim Crims: Woman caught by her selfie

An Illinois woman who shared photos of her eye-catching new dress on Facebook was arrested after the pics caught the eye of people who knew the boutique she had allegedly stolen it from. Police say Amanda Saxton, 27, shared the photos just a few hours after stealing a distinctive leopard-pattern dress and other items and still had stolen clothes in her hand when officers arrived at her home. [Source]  [BJS]

Gray Lady shows her mid-east bias

Something important is missing from the New York Times's coverage of the war in Gaza: photographs of terrorist attacks on Israel, and pictures of Hamas fighters, tunnels, weaponry, and use of human shields, reports the Weekly Standard.
"It appears the Times is silently but happily complying with a Hamas demand that the only pictures from Gaza are of civilians and never of fighters. One of the most influential news organization in the world is thus manufacturing an utterly false portrait of the battle—precisely the portrait that Hamas finds most helpful: embattled, victimized Gaza civilians under attack by a cruel Israeli military.
"A review of the Times's photography in Gaza reveals a stark contrast in how the two sides are portrayed. Nearly every picture from Israel depicts tanks, soldiers, or attack helicopters. And every picture of Gaza depicts either bloodied civilians, destroyed buildings, overflowing hospitals, or other images of civilian anguish. It is as one-sided and misleading a depiction of the Gaza battle as one can imagine. [Source]

Obama is a spent force, says WH reproter

Keith Koffler of White House Dossier has reported on the White House for years and has never been much of an Obama fan. Today he descends into total disillusionment: "This president is not only spent –  he’s sick of the job – but he’s also broke. That is, he has spent down all his political capital – nobody wants to work with him – and he is in the process of completing what seems to one of his main projects: Totally depleting the stature of his office." [Source]

7/19/14

Barack Obama's Dairy: Poopy-head Putin tries to eat crow, fails

Dear Diary: I placed my iPresidentophone on the table beside me as I added milk to my honeywheat Cheerios, The way things have been going the past couple weeks, a  breakfast phone call from a world leader was inevitable.  Almost immediately the Song of the Volga Boatmen burst forth. "Good Morning, Putin," I said, For it was he.
Quoth Putin:  "Good morning, Obamavitch, I want to talk about the downed airliner in Ukraine."
"If you are seeking to eat crow, Poopy-head, you've come to the wrong guy. Anything that  takes voters' minds off  immigration is fine with me."  That shut him up.  "Yum!" I said into the silence and I let him listen to my munching for a while. "I'll bet you don't have Cheerios in  Russia."   There was silence from the Kremlin. Then came a female voice: Valdimir, Vladimir,  wherefore art thou, Vladimir." The old goat was flexing his pecs with his Shakespearian  actress again.
"Котёнок"  he said."My little kitten."You are so beautiful."
But enough about me.

7/17/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Cheerios with Vladimir

Dear Diary: Why do world leaders always choose breakfast time to call me?   Today, as I munched my wholwheat Cheerios, my iPresidentophone burst into a baritone chorus from  Song of the Volga Boatmen by the Red Army choir.  "Good morning, Vladimir!" I said  cheerily, for it is his ring-tone. "Good morning, Kenyan," said Putin, " I have urgent business to discuss: A missile has downed a Malaysian Airlines flight over Ukraine"
"I thought their plane crashed somewhere in the Indian Ocean," I replied.
"Idiot, that was a different plane."  I must have misheard, because even Vlad isn't impolite to my face, or-- in this case-- my ear.  I needed to get him to hang up quick, as I needed urgently to revise a speech I was due to make a few hours later in Delaware. " OK, Vlad ," I said. "Thanks for the heads-up, but I'm busy-busy...running the world. You know  how it is."
As I rode to Delaware in back of The Beast, I added a new opening to my speech. "Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims at this difficult time." Original and heart-warming, if I may say so, and I may, so I'm saying so.  Then I will return to the one-liners and the  "it's great to be in Delaware" routine. But enough about me.

7/16/14

Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg



Dim Crims: I ain do nuttin, claims hijack suspect

Hijack suspect interrupts TV reporter to proclaim his innocence. --TG

Dim Crims: Teacher and two trannies raid home

A high school math teacher and two transvestites have been arrested for breaking into a home  in Bakersfield, California, stealing a computer and assaulting the homeowner. Police say former Foothill High School math teacher David Espericueta and two men dressed in women’s clothing stole an Apple computer.
ABC 23 reports, “When the victim attempted to stop the suspect, the suspect pushed him aside and sprayed him in the face with pepper spray.”
“Deputies say the victim reported the suspect then struck him twice in the back of the head with an unknown object,” the news station says. The victim then filmed the getaway on his cell phone.

7/15/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Bibi for breakfast

Dear Diary: I had barely taken my first mouthful of Froot Loops this morning when my iPresidentophone burst into a rousing chorus of Hava Nagila. " Good Morning, Bibi,"  I said. For it was he. "Mister Netanyahu, to you, Big Ears," came the reply.
"You get out of the wrong side of the air raid shelter this morning?" I asked cheerily.  "Why don't you stop defending yourselves and play nice with Mahmoud Abbas," I said. "I'm sure he will quickly  reciprocate."
Silence. "Bibi? Bibi? Mr Netanyahu?"  "  For a moment thought I heard  a voice say "moron."  I am held in such high regard by other world leaders, that it must have been something like "genius" in Hebrew or Aramaic or whatever they talk over there.  But enough about me.

7/14/14

Barack Obama's Diary: My genius strikes again

Dear Diary: I visited the Turner-Fairbank Highway Research Center in McLean VA, today. I had a brilliant idea while I was there. If we can have an HOV express lane in DC for High Occupancy Vehicles, why not an national  UIV lane to ensure Undocumented Immigrant Vehicles can disperse quickly throughout the country, so spreading the load on schools and hospitals who have to absorb them. Pure genius if I may say so, and I may, so I will: Well done, Barack, great job!  Another great step forward in fundamentally transforming America! But enough about me.

7/12/14

Barack Obama's Diary: The Complete Book of Me

Dear Diary: The usual culprits are whining again about MY use of the first person in MY speeches. What else am I supposed to do? MY achievements are incomparable. No-one else but ME can claim to have run all branches of government simultaneously. But, enough about ME. 

7/11/14

Barack Obama's Diary: How to disembark with style

Dear Diary: My enemies are unable to criticize me in one area: The elegant way I descend the stairs from Air Force One: arms bent perpendicular to the ground  hands dangling loosely, every movement controlled, yet seemingly nonchalant. This  skill has not been acquired without effort. Indeed, in the early  days of my presidency I spent hours at Andrews Air Force base practicing  effortless descents, that would project my message of youth and change. I still suits me well. In fact I have mandated that my whole administration  should attend weekly classes in disembarking  in this calm, confident way, that signals to the natives that reinforcements have arrived  and all  is now well. But enough about me.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

7/10/14

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: Oh clever, clever me!

My brilliance never fails to astound me.  Today I actually had all the lapdog media carrying a clip of me denying that I'm interested in photo-ops. The hacks, of course, missed the point that my denial was itself a photo-op. Clever, clever Barack, if I may say so and I may, so I do.
Meanwhile the invasion at our southern border and the chaos in the Middle East will distract  the MSM hacks  from our  imminent 15-day vacation on Martha’s Vineyard, far, far away from the lice and TB-ridden hordes from Guatemala. People want me to visit them. As if !
We'll depart Washington August 9, staying in  our usual   $12 million vacation home. Valerie Jarrett will be on the Vineyard as well as Dr. S.H. Rink whom  she called  for help last year when the silly woman suspected I was becoming paranoid.  He's been very helpful, but I'm glad the military pick up his Godzilla-sized medical bills.

Cruz: Obama 'wants illegal flood to continue indefinitely'

President Obama’s request for $3.7 billion in supplemental funding amounts to an “admission” that he plans for the influx of immigrant children to “continue indefinitely,” according to Senator Ted Cruz (R., Texas).
Cruz said that only five percent of the funding would provide for “boots on the ground” along the southern border.  “This is an HHS and social services bill that is entitled border security to make it appear as if it’s responding to the problem,” Cruz told National Review Online. 
“But this supplemental bill is an admission by the president that he has no intention of solving this problem, and, indeed, that he anticipates it continuing indefinitely, because he is simply asking for money to deal with those kids who are coming after they’ve been brutalized, rather than taking the necessary steps to prevent them from coming here in the first place, to prevent them from being victimized,” Cruz said.

Cartoon: Aftermath


7/9/14

Israel threatens 'significant response' to Hamas rockets

Consul General of the State of Israel, David Siegel told Truth Revolt's Ben Shapiro that over half of Israel's population was currently hunkered down in bomb shelters to avoid a spate of rocket attacks from Hamas in the Gaza Strip. “It’s a very difficult night in Israel. Roughly half our population, around 4 million people are in bomb shelters tonight,” Siegel explained on Shapiro’s radio show.
Siegel went on to state that 20 Israeli cities have been subjected to rocket attack, with Hamas firing over 150 rockets overnight in Israel. Thirty of those rockets, “the most dangerous” rockets, were intercepted by Israel’s missile defense shield, Iron Dome, Siegel explained. But, he added, “117 landed.”
 “We offered quiet for quiet,” Siegel said. “They saw that as weakness. Again, they’ve miscalculated Israel’s intent…You’re going to see over the next few days a very significant operation.”

7/8/14

Dim Crims: Cops bag chicken-wing thief

A security guard spotted Michael K. Ray, 50, inside of the Brass Hen restaurant in Lanham, Md. after it closed shortly after 9:30 p.m., according to Montgomery County Police. When the guard began to approach him, Ray hopped over the restaurant counter and began to run away with a bag of chicken wings.
A guard says Ray initially got away after biting him on the upper arm while he was attempting to detain him.
Montgomery County Police took Ray into custody after spotting him walking near the mall a short time later.  Ray admitted stealing the wings and biting the guard, authorities say. He faces charges of burglary, theft and second-degree assault.

7/2/14

Food for Thought...

 Some food for thought,  spotted by New York contributor, ECS:
Biggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster, in Ontario, said:
"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against
another mosque being built in Toronto. I think it should be the goal
of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious
beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote
tolerance.”


Greek philosopher Aristotle, in ancient Athens, said: 
"Tolerance and  apathy are the last virtues of a dying society."

Presidential poll: Obama worst, Reagan best

President Barack Obama is the worst president since World War II, and the United States would have been better off if his Republican challenger, Mitt Romney, had won the election in 2012, a new Quinnipiac University national poll released Wednesday reveals. The best president? Ronald Reagan. [Source

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Q: Want contraceptives? A: Pay for them yourself

Matt Walsh writes:  "I’ve pored through mounds of research, read pages and pages of court precedent; I’ve reflected on it, meditated, retreated into the mountains to ponder this mystery in peace; I’ve even Googled it, and all of these measures have brought me to one incredible solution for women who want birth control:  Pay for it yourselves."
[Read more]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Bam's Buddy feels the heat

(NEWSER) – Megyn Kelly's interview with former Weather Underground member Bill Ayers got a little heated. The Fox News host repeatedly questioned Ayers about bombings and killings attributed to the radical group, and Ayers denied involvement in many of them »

7/1/14

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: Obama, Barack, H.

7/1/2014 I had a call from Valerie Jarrett this morning, begging me to intervene with Patient who has been wandering the nigh-time corridors of the White House emitting moaning noises while making hand-washing gestures, then pausing to examine paintings of past Presidents. " I am not worthy," he said to each. At Theodore Roosevelt he paused for longer. "I...speak....softly, but  I have no big stick. Mea culpa, mea culpa  mea maxima culpa."  My immediate reaction was that patient had been partaking of the magic weed.
 "I wiil be with you in 10 minutes, Ms Jarrett." I said, asking my receptionist to reschedule any patients. "A mild tranquilizer should have him quickly back under your control." And so it came to pass. ---Dictated by  S.H. Rink, M.D.

Cartoon: Gary Varvel

[Cagle Cartoons]