Pages

3/22/12

Dear Cabby: Our Advice Column

Dear Cabby:  Folks are  now calling me the inevitable  Republican nominee , but I still  can't shake off  being  labelled a flip-flopper. What can I do to seem more decisive? -- Mitt R. 


Dear Mitt:  Dat's a no-brainer. Just  make yer goddam mind up and stick to it.  Do you want da dog kennel inside or out on da roof with your wife?  Is she still OK up there?  Beats me how she's stuck with you for 35 years. Remind me: Did ya want to go to  Bloomingdales, or was it John Allan's for  a trim and a root touch-up?  Well,  which is it?  Sheesh! Make yer goddam  mind up, Mitt. I gotta take a right turn here  or fuggeddaboudit and go straight down 5th for another three blocks. Make a goddam decision, buddy. Tick tock, flip flop. Okay here we are at John Allan's. You givin' me da fare plus a buck? You call that a tip? Make yer mind up, Mitt, I can't stop here all day. Two bucks?  Three bucks! Now that's decisive thinking. Don't forget the wife and the dog. See ya. --Cabby.