Dear Cabby: I'm in trouble. I said publicly that Mitt Romney doesn't offer voters a clear enough choice to distinguish him from Obama so they might as well vote Obama back in, rather than vote for Romney. I never said I would vote for Obama over a Republican, but most folks seem to think I did. What shall I do? --Rick S.
Dear Rick: Are ya nuts? You said da front-running GOP candidate was no different than Obama? You know how my earnings have gone down since dat bum has been in da Oval Office? I' m workin' double shifts just to put food on da table. And you think people are not going to freak out when you say that Romney won't be any better than him? My mother's-in-law's parrot would do a better job than Obama and at least he was born in the USA. What's your name again. Oh yeah, Saint Torum. Well, buddy, the Saint part of your name may help you in New Orleans. But otherwise it's game over for ya. Here's da terminal for your flight to Louisiana. Be careful down dere, if da alligators don't getya Mitt and Newt will. And don't forget da Etcha-Sketch on da back seat --Cabby.