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4/14/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: You would think that an eminent  personage  like Myself could catch a break from the media hacks while I'm far from home at the Summit of the Americas in Cartagena, Colombia.  But no. It seems some Secret Service guys [not my personal detail] decided to have night on the town before my arrival. A prostitute was said to have  been hired and then not paid, so she laid a complaint, if you will. Now the whole daggone advance team has been recalled to the US. I  thought I had planned for everything at this summit... I even have an agent  checking  constantly for open mikes so I don't have my private comments to other leaders on my "flexibility" broadcast to the world. Now comes this disaster: Instead of having a spotlight shine on Myself  warming the hearts of those  millions of Latino voters back home, I have become a mere footnote to this sordid tale of deceit and debauchery.  The conference at  the castle of San Felipe de Barajas, an ancient but still functional structure [kinda like Joe Biden] concluded without any major problems.  Now I am preparing for bed. Marvelous Marv has laid out my jammies and Boo-boo, my blankey, plus one of my favorite  MET-rx protein bars in case I wake in the middle of the night  jet-lagged  and hungry. My personal Secret Service detail are on duty so I can sleep soundly. Now for my prayer to myself, and so to bed.