Dear Diary: A disappointment for my exalted self today. Advance reviews of my sublimely witty appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show are less than ecstatic. I was superb, though I say so myself, and I do. I showed how I am able to run the free world, and slow-jam a campaign speech at the same time. What more do they want? For me to do it on a motorcycle while juggling dog's heads chainsaws?
[Note to self: While I'm thinking of chainsaws, It's high time we ousted Debbie MiracleWhip-Shultz from the DNC. As fast as I recapture voters with late-night TV appearances, she's scaring them off with her abrasive manner and mayonnaise-coated hair.] Talking of scary women, Michelle has put down her vegetable-gardening book and is calling me to the Presidential bed. Time for my accustomed brief prayer to myself. And so to bed, there to sleep and surrender to the embrace of Boo-boo my blankey who's waiting under my pillow. Barry love Boo-boo, um-num-num-um
[Note to self: While I'm thinking of chainsaws, It's high time we ousted Debbie MiracleWhip-Shultz from the DNC. As fast as I recapture voters with late-night TV appearances, she's scaring them off with her abrasive manner and mayonnaise-coated hair.] Talking of scary women, Michelle has put down her vegetable-gardening book and is calling me to the Presidential bed. Time for my accustomed brief prayer to myself. And so to bed, there to sleep and surrender to the embrace of Boo-boo my blankey who's waiting under my pillow. Barry love Boo-boo, um-num-num-um