Dear Diary: I have a blinding face-ache after the White House Correspondents' Dinner, having to grin all evening at every jest, however feeble. As for Me, I was hilariously funny, if I may say so myself, and I do. The audience were so astonished at the sublime humor of some of my jokes that, instead of laughing they fell into awed silence. Hillary looked daggers at me when I joked about her drunk-texting from Cartagena. I'm glad that I canned the original joke: " I did not have textual intercourse with that... woman." No sense of humor in Hillary. None at all.
I am still rehearsing my Spanish in preparation for the White House Cinco de Mayo party. "Hola, Jennifer Lopez, que pasa? " and "Hola, Marco Rubio! Eat alligators, bitch." I'm dog very tired. A quick prayer of congratulations to Myself, close laptop, then slide into bed with Boo-boo, my blankey. Barry love Boo-boo.. um-num-num-um...Buenos noches, Boo-boo. Hasta la vista, Diary. And so to bed.
I am still rehearsing my Spanish in preparation for the White House Cinco de Mayo party. "Hola, Jennifer Lopez, que pasa? " and "Hola, Marco Rubio! Eat alligators, bitch." I'm