Dear Diary: Here I am at Los Cabos, Mexico, for the G20 summit. This morning after a courtesy meeting with Mexican President Calderon, came the really meaty business of the day: a long session with Vlad the Impaler. I had been suckered into the excruciating Putin 'crusher' handshake before, so I bumped fists, which Vlad liked because he thinks he's cool. As if. Then we sat down with our interpreters and he launched into a joke about 'live' microphones. Hardy, har, har. He glared at me and we engaged in the usual game of chicken over who would look away first. " Vladimir," I said slowly and menacingly,"why are you moving your Black Sea Fleet to Syria? His battleship-grey eyes bored into mine. "What business is that of yours, Obaba?" he asked. I looked down, expecting to see a poisoned knife blade protruding from his shoe. [I've seen "From Russia with Love" and those Ruskies can't fool me.] As I look down I realize I have broken eye contact. I look up to see him smiling in that superior manner of his. Obaba? The impertinence of the man! "Boo!" he shouted -- without warning-- and I jumped right out of my chair.
"Call yourself a President?" he scoffed. "You're just an elitist wuss."
Wuss? You could have knocked me over with a feather: How dare he mock Me, a shining intellect that illuminates the World. Tomorrow I will terrify him by saying that he has made me really, really annoyed. It's sleepy time and Boo-boo my blankey awaits. Barry luv Boo-boo and you'll never frighten Barry, will you Boo-boo?..um-num-num-um...zzzzzz...
"Call yourself a President?" he scoffed. "You're just an elitist wuss."
Wuss? You could have knocked me over with a feather: How dare he mock Me, a shining intellect that illuminates the World. Tomorrow I will terrify him by saying that he has made me really, really annoyed. It's sleepy time and Boo-boo my blankey awaits. Barry luv Boo-boo and you'll never frighten Barry, will you Boo-boo?..um-num-num-um...zzzzzz...