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6/20/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: I  returned from  Mexico after Putin Vlad in his place (putting / Putin, geddit?) to find  'Cup' Holder had run out of options and was completely  cornered by the  House  panel. We immediately switched to Plan B -- which required me to invoke Executive Privilege. Darrell Issa and the other ravening GOPers, having smelled blood, are not going to be easily deterred.  Dudes seem to think  I knew about F&F from the start. Totally illogical. How could I know about something I  didn't know about?  Even if I did? The  crude reasoning of ordinary minds is difficult for a refined intellect like mine to  follow.
Long-story-short,  Team Issa are determined to provoke a constitutional crisis. Bring it on, dudes. I'm a brilliant Harvard  constitutional  scholar, and Chicago  community organizer, so don't mess with me. 
That aside, it's  good to be back home and I'm ready to slide into the familiar Presidepedic alongside Michelle.
Oh, I forgot to mention, when Marv my trip director was unpacking my bags from Los Cabos he found a tablespoon of stale, crushed Russian caviar inside Boo-boo, my blankey, with a note saying "Wussie!" That goddam Putin again. Marv has put my emergency blankey, Boo-boo-Two under my pillow while Boo-boo is laundered. Barry luv Boo-boo-Two as much as Boo-boo and --unlike Issa and Putin-- both  Boo-boos respect my dignity...um-num-num-um...zzzzz..