Dear Diary: Wow ...A landmark of my presidency: Four fundraising events in one day! I left San Francisco early for Portland and later Seattle. Ya gotta love those adoring Pacific North-Westerners, who provide an example to all 57 states in paying adequate tribute to a great leadership and vast, all-encompassing intellect such as mine. I had much more important priorities than giant egos clashing in the Middle East, and when Bibi and Vlad the Impaler phoned, I immediately switched them to voice mail. When I listened later all I could hear were what were obviously curse words so I ignored them since such words in Hebrew and Russian mean nothing to me. I face another night in an unfamiliar bed, and can't deny that I will relish returning to the familiar Presidentopedic. But first I have another day of fundraising in The Big Easy. Meanwhile my trip director, Marv, has ensured that my back-up blankey, Boo-booTwo is laid out ready for me, alongside my seductive Democrat-blue jammies. Barry luv Boo-booTwo.. um-num-num-um...zzzzz...