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7/31/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  Mitt is outraising my campaign with  disturbing speed despite his gaffe-tastic foreign tour. Today I decided to make a  public contribution to my campaign of $5,000 from  my meagre millions,  which is almost as much as Michelle spent on her last new blouse. Nobody can  now say  we aren't fully committed to winning this election. Syria is still simmering, but  Hillary has restrained herself admirably from making  gleeful 3am phone calls about it. I am strangely exhausted from a day of doing  nothing much but a photo-op of my  generous online contribution  to my majestic self.  I am clearly exhausted by weeks of fundraising  and switching  Vlad and Bibi through to voice mail. Boo-boo my blankey awaits under the pillows of the  the Presidentopedic. Time for beddy-byes.  Auugh! Is that Mitt I see before me with a  blood-drenched dagger pointed at my heart? No, it's just the daggone dog with his tongue  hanging out.  Now for sleep...Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num-um...zzzzz...