Dear Journal: At last! I finally realized who I am, when the men in dark suits and shades bundled me out of the black limo and into a large plane which they said was heading for D.C. and I was due to have lunch in the White House private dining room with the president. One of the Secret Service guys (for that is who they were) muttered something about me being taken to the woodshed and they all sniggered. It gradually dawned on me that I was not just any old vice-president but the Vice President. I discovered it was not 1998 but 2012 when I read the day's newspapers on the plane and they reported speculation that President Obama might replace me on his ticket with with Hillary Clinton. I was ushered into the private dining room after my arrival. Obama was perfectly cordial, though he frequently used the word y'all, combined with a knowing look. Strange man. Soon I'm traveling to Wilmington, Delaware, to reunite with my wife Jesse, Joan, Jill--that's her name.