Dictated Aboard Air Force One en route from LA to D.C:
Dear Diary: A day out of the...uh... public... uh... eye today. I see that the Guardian, a respected British ...uh... newspaper, has blamed negative reaction to my ...uh...brilliant debate performance on latent racism among Americans. Not only was I battling altitude sickness, jet lag, feeble practice sessions with John Kerry, but I was up against a ringer, a man who was nothing like the Mitt Romney I was briefed to expect; he was more like a rabid...uh... raccoon rather than a slow-witted, greedy capitalist groundhog. Now, add to that the nation's knee-jerk ...uh...racist reaction at seeing a cracker wield a rhetorical whip against an ...errrr... black man and it's a miracle that I performed as brilliantly as I did. Axelrod thinks we should have an ...errr... back-up plan to dodge the foreign affairs debate if we need to. But I can't foresee the need: I have done so well in placating the world's ...errr... muslims. The next debate will be a cake-walk, like the last one.
Dear Diary: A day out of the...uh... public... uh... eye today. I see that the Guardian, a respected British ...uh... newspaper, has blamed negative reaction to my ...uh...brilliant debate performance on latent racism among Americans. Not only was I battling altitude sickness, jet lag, feeble practice sessions with John Kerry, but I was up against a ringer, a man who was nothing like the Mitt Romney I was briefed to expect; he was more like a rabid...uh... raccoon rather than a slow-witted, greedy capitalist groundhog. Now, add to that the nation's knee-jerk ...uh...racist reaction at seeing a cracker wield a rhetorical whip against an ...errrr... black man and it's a miracle that I performed as brilliantly as I did. Axelrod thinks we should have an ...errr... back-up plan to dodge the foreign affairs debate if we need to. But I can't foresee the need: I have done so well in placating the world's ...errr... muslims. The next debate will be a cake-walk, like the last one.