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10/8/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: I'm traveling to Keene, California, today --a place that's mighty keen on me [that's way witty, though I say it myself and I do.] I'm scheduled to open a memorial to Cesar Chavez, whoever he was, but Axelrod and Jarrett say it will resonate with the Hispanic vote. Then onward to a rapturous welcome at the liberal hub of the world, San Francisco, where plastic grocery bags are illegal and you can't buy a goldfish on impulse -- in other words: progressive paradise. It's a friendly place to ride out the fuss that's going to be made today over some supposed shenanigans in validating our fundraising sources. I'm told that we've had generous contributions from lots of people overseas, for example Mr. Ahmed al-Saud and another guy named V. Putin, both via untraceable prepaid credit card. What could possibly be wrong with that?