Dear Diary: I'm on a comedic roll. After my masterful speech at the White House Correspondents' dinner, I decided to add some wisecracks to my speech at the National Academy of Sciences 150th anniversary today. Since I am a better scientist than most scientists, I asked why they had not been more successful at creating renewable energy. "Why no nuclear fusion?" I asked. "If the sun can manage it, why can't you?" There followed a stunned silence due to their understandable awe at the depth of my knowledge. Later today I had my staff place a call to professional basketball player Jason Collins who came out as gay this morning. "Mr Collins is on the line, sir," said the switchboard operator. I said: "Wassup, Jason, congratulations on coming out of the closet!" He said: "Bathhouse Barry! I'd know your voice anywhere.. Hey man, how's it hangin'..." Strange guy ... I couldn't understand what on earth he was talking about. But enough about me.
