[Satire alert] In a controversial move praised by the international community as a promotion of human rights, the Department of Defense has begun allowing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to seek Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits. While these benefits have traditionally been restricted to veterans of the United States Military to use in pursuit of a degree, the Pentagon has seen fit to begin allowing GTMO prisoners to enroll in the program.
DoD Spokesman Wesley Manheim said that it was all a matter of fairness: “The DoD has been doing everything it can to prevent torture from being used against detainees at GTMO. By allowing the detainees to use the Department of Veterans Affairs, we hope to completely crush their souls with bureaucracy, which to be noted, is completely different from torture. I mean, hell, the VA does that to our veterans on a daily basis. Read more: [Thanks R.K.]
DoD Spokesman Wesley Manheim said that it was all a matter of fairness: “The DoD has been doing everything it can to prevent torture from being used against detainees at GTMO. By allowing the detainees to use the Department of Veterans Affairs, we hope to completely crush their souls with bureaucracy, which to be noted, is completely different from torture. I mean, hell, the VA does that to our veterans on a daily basis. Read more: [Thanks R.K.]