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9/24/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Corridors of power

Dear Diary: I have cunning plan in place  today to ensure that  I meet with  Iran's new President Hassan Rouhani. The guy has been playing hard to get, refusing to be tied down to  a specific time and place. He told reporters that  there were no formal arrangements but that we might  meet if we run into each other in the UN corridors.
And so it was that my cunning scheme was hatched. We would send a group of Secret Service agents to track Hassan Rouhani and  position me to ensure that we would meet in a corridor for a while so I can claim a significant diplomatic coup of the kind that NBC's Chuck Todd and Andrea Mitchell. will praise on the evening news. I had just had my last mouthful of two eggs over-easy and wholewheat toast, when the two-way radio of one of  my Secret Service detail crackled to life.  "Target on the move." My agent replied:  "10-4.. Renegade leaving now.  He took me by the upper arm and led me to the stairwell.  "One floor down, Mr President  and we should be perfectly  positioned to intercept President Rouhani"
I skipped lightly down the stairs as is my wont, into the passage below and immediately encountered President Rouhani and his entourage. We both stopped and weighed each other up.  "Greetings Al-Obama! said Rouhani whose head was wrapped in what appeared to be a white bandage. I spoke: "President Rouhani... I'm so sorry to see that you have injured your head."
 " Injured my head?" He pointed to his headwear. "This is my  traditional headcovering, al-Obama, not a bandage,"
I said: " Remember, President Rouhani, not to be aggressive when you address the General Assembly this afternoon,. The US doesn't do  pinpricks."
"You don't scare me," said Rouhani. "Putin said you're a  wuss. I agree." But enough about me.