Dear Diary: Aauugh! How much can a human being be expected to endure? I offered a generous compromise to those few millions who claim to have had their healthcare plans cancelled. Then, when I summoned insurance company CEOs to the White House to instruct them on what I required, they whined that that they had not been consulted before I announced what action they must immediately take. What impudence! They have actuaries who do nothing else but make such calculations. They are not fooling me with their jargon: I asked them: "If a=b and b=a what is d? They all looked me blankly. It's hard to believe any of them have even run a lemonade stand. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen... As I sat down for lunch with Joe Biden, my iPresidentophone burst into a rousing hip-hop rendition of Keep The Red Flag Flying. " Putin?" I asked, for it was his ringtone. "Obamavitch! Nasdrovia!" "Vlad!," I declared. "You sound uncommonly cheerful today...""Obamavitch have I got a deal for you! We have a system that will complement your American GPS system and all we need for it are a few small listening-- cough... I mean relay stations, on the American mainland In return for that I am offering you use of our OGRE supercomputer to run your "ObamaCare".
"SoetoroCare, Vlad." I sniffed.
"Whatever, Obamavitch" said Putin. I expressed great interest in OGRE and promised to follow up.
But enough about me.