Dear Diary: While I was eating my usual bowl of Froot Loops this morning, I learned a most unsettling fact from NBC's Today show, Apparently, all Froot Loops have the same flavor, whatever the color. Here am I, one of the world's great intellects, being duped by the cunning capitalists at Kellogs into decorating the edge of my bowl with Democrat blue loops and then biting down with extra relish on the GOP red loops. Clearly, we need legislation to regulate inequality of flavor. But enough about me.
