01/24/14: Patient was in an unusually silly mood when I arrived for my scheduled consultation. He and Joe Biden were sitting in the Oval Office, giggling, with tears streaming down their faces. Patient said: "You don't approve of weed so I made something that's Bieber-awesome: Purple Drank, Sizzurp whatever you wanna call it, doctor dude."
"I'll come back this evening when you have recovered your senses, I said, unamused "You may have time to waste, but I don't." There was a renewed explosion of giggles as I turned on my heel and left. I stopped at Valerie Jarrett's office on my way out, explained the situation and suggested she remove any soda, Skittles and cough syrup from Moron's environment. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.