Barack Obama's Diary: cereal killer

Dear Diary: Valerie Jarrett says that Dr. Rink wants to raise his retainer. My medical treatment is paid for by the military, but if the vultures of the media  were  to discover that the cost of my psychiatric care  would buy a new MRAP vehicle every week...well what chance then of me becoming Director General of the UN?
I have admit that the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal I have been experimenting with for the past couple of weeks  has not been a noticeable improvement, so I have reverted to Froot Loops.  I had been hoping for some extra gusto to help me against Vladimir Pootin's regular and disparaging calls which are a form of psychological  warfare. He loves to patronize my relationships and disparage my abilities.  "How do you like my Olympics, Obamavich? he crowed this morning."Pretty impressive, huh? As the British say, Obamavich, you couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery." True, but enough about me. These cereal decisions may seem trivial on the surface, but they hone my intellect ready for the challenges I face as Commander-Chief.