Dear Diary: My enemies are unable to criticize me in one area: The elegant way I descend the stairs from Air Force One: arms bent perpendicular to the ground hands dangling loosely, every movement controlled, yet seemingly nonchalant. This skill has not been acquired without effort. Indeed, in the early days of my presidency I spent hours at Andrews Air Force base practicing effortless descents, that would project my message of youth and change. I still suits me well. In fact I have mandated that my whole administration should attend weekly classes in disembarking in this calm, confident way, that signals to the natives that reinforcements have arrived and all is now well. But enough about me.