Barack Obama's Diary: I lit up the world

I dazzled the world today with my compelling  address to the UN. To prepare, I had smoked a joint of Hawaii-grown Blueberry Yum Yum in the rear of The Beast. I watched Manhattan traffic halted just for me. What a trip! As I stood before the green marble backdrop of the General Assembly and wa introduced by UN Secretary-General Banksy Moon [the famous grafitti artist] I felt the immense power of my  role as world's  pre-eminent leader course through my veins. I was the embodiment of  Colonel Kurtz in Heart of Darkness, sweating metaphors from every pore. "After nearly six years as President, I believe that this promise can help light the world. Because I’ve seen a longing for positive change – for peace and freedom and opportunity – in the eyes of young people I’ve met around the globe..."
Oh, the poetry of my prose...What a genius I am! But enough about me.