Dear Diary: I am overwhelmed with excitement! An Italian surgeon says that a full body transplant will be possible in the not-too-distant future. With a new head and the same brain, I will be able to claim a third term in the White House, install ISIL in the Pentagon and complete the total transformation of America, give Iran enough nukes to turn Israel into a sheet of glass, kick Vlad Putin in the gonads and install myself as Emperor of the world. O happy Day!