Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

11/29/13: Patient seemed despondent today. I asked him why. "Why not?" he replied. "Yesterday the common herd united in intimate family gatherings to give thanks for my beneficent presidency, but now the impudent swine are running amok in the malls battling each other for flat-screen TVs and cheap baubles. "Thoughts of me and my health-care revolution have been pushed aside in the name of greed."
The Moron, sinking ever more deeply into the slough of self-delusion, now appears to think that Thanksgiving exists only to honor him and him alone. Good grief. --Dictated by S.H. Rink. M.D. 

Boris: Why we need inequality

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, talking at the Centre for Policy Studies, a free-market think tank:  "Like it or not, the free market economy is the only show in town. Britain is competing in an increasingly impatient and globalised economy, in which the competition is getting ever stiffer.
"No one can ignore the harshness of that competition, or the inequality that it inevitably accentuates; and I am afraid that violent economic centrifuge is operating on human beings who are already very far from equal in raw ability, if not spiritual worth.
"Whatever you may think of the value of IQ tests, it is surely relevant to a conversation about equality that as many as 16 per cent of our species have an IQ below 85, while about 2 per cent have an IQ above 130. I stress: I don’t believe that economic equality is possible; indeed, some measure of inequality is essential for the spirit of envy and keeping up with the Joneses that is, like greed, a valuable spur to economic activity.
Johnson nonetheless called for a more meritocratic society that may lead to some reduction in economic inequality. He announced his support of plans for a return of selective state schools and more state-funded scholarships for academically successful students to attend private schools. Read more

Barack Obama's Dairy (oops) Diary

Dear Diary: As you can see, above, this  has not been a good day for me. My negativity meter went into the red zone when I read a comment on the interwebs saying "America's bird is a bald eagle, but America's president is a turkey."
All over the country families are gathered at the table saying how grateful they are for my presence in the White House, but there's always some sour grapes in the bunch.  Valerie Jarrett  says, at such times, I should bask in the light of  my own brilliance and give her a raise.

Lies from my Father?

"We know ObamaCare was sold on a lie, but what about the Obama presidency itself? It seems that rumors that Obama's violent leftist pal Bill Ayers ghost-wrote the memoir that launched his political career may actually be true.  Obama has always claimed authorship of his bestselling Dreams From My Father.
But Ayers is telling a different story. In promoting his new book, Public Enemy, Ayers' publisher, Beacon Press, has written a blurb on Amazon.com that says Ayers "finally 'confesses' that he did write Dreams From My Father.'"   Read More       [ECS]

Happy Thanksgiving

Laughing Conservative  wishes  its multitudinous readers a very happy and bountiful Thanksgiving.  We regret that [unlike Obamacare's promoters] we do not feel the need to distribute free condoms to celebrate.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Happy Hanukkah

 Happy Hanukkah to  Laughing Conservative's Jewish readers.

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[Columbus Daily Dispatch]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Leno mocks President turkey

Even the pardoned turkey is disowning Obama...  [ECS]

Dim Crims: 'Mobster' faces shoplifting charge

A reputed New York City mobster has been arrested on charges of trying to steal $164 in lighting equipment from a Home Depot, according to the New York Daily News. Angelo ‘Little Angelo’ Spata is the son-in-law of Colombo crime boss Carmine ‘The Snake’ Persico, the Daily News said. He was already out on $1 million bail in a federal racketeering case.  The report alleges that Spata was on Coney Island at one of Atlanta-based Home Depot’s Brooklyn stores on Nov. 8 when he tried to steal a dimmer switch and LED recessed lights.  [Source]   [BJS]

Dim Crims: Woman arrested 396 times

Fifty-two-year-old Shermain Miles  of Chicago has been arrested 396 times in the past 35 years. Her offenses ranged from disorderly conduct and theft to attacking a City Council member. In June, a judge sentenced her to time served after she agreed to get mental health and substance abuse treatment.  She was released Monday from the Logan Correctional Center in Lincoln. On her train journey home, Miles said that she's not a 'bad person' but that alcohol had turned her "into a monster."  She was headed Monday to a residential home for ex-inmates and says she's permanently given up drugs and alcohol.  [Source]  [BJS]

World Cup face-palm

Our new Brasilian contributor sends this 214 World Cup logo which would make a perfect symbol for ObamaCare--  a hand covering a face of shame.  [SC]

Cartoon: A.F. Branco

[Legal Insurrection]

Socialist medicine in action: thousands of nurses quit

The numbers of British nurses actively choosing to leave the profession has jumped 26% in the wake of uncertainty over their future in the National Health Service  (NHS) and attacks on their pay, terms and conditions.  Last week Nursing Times revealed that more than 23,000 nurses allowed their registrations to lapse in 2012-13 at a time when the NHS is struggling to fill vacancies. More    [BJS]

Cartoon: Tom Janssen

[Tom Janssen: The Netherlands. Cagle Cartoons]

Media protest Obama restrictions

The White House Correspondents' Association  has joined with other media groups to protest the Obama Administration's lack of transparency. A letter was signed by a variety of other news organizations and associations including, ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox News, The Associated Press, Reuters, The New York Times, The Washington Post and Yahoo News. It was also signed by the American Society of Newspaper Editors and the White House News Photographers' Association. The letter highlights several instances where the media have been barred from photographs, but where the White House released “official,” approved photographs. USA Today has now vowed to carry such photographs only in exceptional circumstances.  [Source]

Our 'Deceiver-in -Chief'

 "No one believes Barack Obama about anything anymore. Why should they? The new Iran deal is Obamacare II, only worse, a thousand megatons worse. So many things are wrong with the agreement coming out of Geneva, it’s hard to know where to begin." [Source]

      

Dim Crims: Key evidence

A 57-year-old bank robbery suspect  forgot his car keys after allegedly robbing a Wells Fargo branch in Portland, Oregon. The mistake not only led to the capture of Andrew Frank Laviguer, police said it allowed them to link him to three additional bank robberies and two motel robberies.   [Source]   [BJS]

Dim Crims: Meth charges

Steven Todd Campbell, 51, was out on bail on charges of possession of methamphetamine and obstruction of justice.  The Cowlitz County, Wash., sheriff’s office said when Campbell was asked to dump the contents of his pockets into a tray before appearing in court, he took out a three-inch pipe coated with brown residue and covered it with a piece of paper.  The deputy working the scanner recognized it as a pipe used to smoke meth.  Campbell was sent back to jail on another possession of methamphetamines charge.  [Source]  [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Oy vey!

Dear Diary: Barely had John Kerry informed me about the interim nuclear agreement with Iran when my iPresidentophone burst into a rousing rendition of Hava nagila. "Hello, Bibi," I said, for it was he. "What have you done, schlemiel?" he inquired,  "You truly are a  pathetic excuse  for a leader. You have given away the farm to the Iranians  and gotten nothing in return. Is this another dumb version of ObamaCare: "If you like your country you can keep your country? As a result, we are going to have to strike Iran sooner rather than later. Can you hear that screamlng in the background? That's our  bombers warming up for a practice raid, already. You and your John Kerry are  incompetent putzs." He said all that without  drawing a single breath.  Oy vey!  was Bibi annoyed.  But enough about me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Barack Obama's Diary: Psssst! I'm over here, guys

Dear Diary: Auuugh! I have found the past few days very difficult. The  media focus that should be mine has been on John F. Kennedy,  John Kerry in Geneva and even on Joe Biden visiting a new branch of a Delaware sandwich chain in D.C.. In my next public address about ObamaCare the Affordable Care Act I will borrow from Kennedy and say: "Ask not  not what the Affordable Care Act can do for you, but  ask what you can do for  to the Affordable Care Act. I will conclude that we passed the ACA not because it was easy  but because it was hard."  But enough about me.

If you like your teeth...

[Thanks to @rossmallioux on Twitter]

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

'Nuclear option' explained

For reader Jason (and for Laughing Conservative himself) here is an explanation of the why the elimination of the filibuster was termed the 'nuclear option.'
Paul Kane of The Washington Post writes:
"What made the day so historic for senators, former senators and the small collection of parliamentary experts in Washington was the simple majority vote used to execute the changes — a tactic so extreme it is known as the “nuclear option.”
"Previous majorities had threatened to upend filibuster rules in this manner, but relying on a simple majority vote had been used only for relatively minor procedural changes to how amendments were handled, never to eliminate the super­majority requirement altogether. Before Thursday, the standard precedent was that major rule changes needed a two-thirds majority. The change was so significant that Reid and his leadership team held a victory party with liberal activists afterward in a room just off the Senate floor."

Republicans say the way Democrats upended the rules will result in fallout for years. “It’s another raw exercise of political power to permit the majority to do anything it wants whenever it wants to do it,” Sen. Lamar Alexander (Tenn.), the GOP’s parliamentary expert, told reporters.  Republicans vow to reciprocate when they reclaim the majority.  [More]        [ECS]

Obamacare? What Obamacare?

If you like your gizzard, you can keep your gizzard

The two lucky turkeys that received an official pardon from President Barack Obama last Thanksgiving have both died, according to U.S. News and World Report.
Every year, the president invites two turkeys to Washington, D.C., for the annual Presidential Turkey Pardon. The birds then spend the rest of their days roosting at a historic farm in Virginia.
But with a posh lifestyle and tendency to become overweight, the president's pardoned turkeys don't live long. Last year's duo, Gobbler and Cobbler, are already hanging out at the hen house in the sky after only a couple years of life. Gobbler went first, dying suddenly from an illness in February. Cobbler, 2012's official pardoned turkey, was euthanized in August. (The turkeys always come to Washington in pairs, but only one is used for the ceremony itself. Still, both turkeys are spared a trip to the dinner table.)

Biden buys Obama a sandwich

Joe Biden arrived at a Delaware-based sandwich chain’s new local outlet in Washington to pick up lunch for himself and President Obama, relates Keith Koffler at White House Dossier. "Biden --who is famously cheap–- was short of cash. Of course, he refused the offer of a free sandwich from someone at the shop who clearly doesn’t understand political public relations."

Mom fined $10 for not including grains in lunch

When Kristen Bartkiw of Manitoba, Canada, sent her kids off to day care, she packed a meal of roast beef, potatoes, and carrots, followed up by some fruit for dessert. She even gave them milk instead of juice as a drink. Problem is, none of those items are considered a grain—and that goes against school policy. As the rules state, if kids are not buying a school lunch, parents must pack one that contains milk, meat, grains and two fruits or veggies. If not, parents are fined $5 per item, per child. Spotting that Bartkiw's kids' lunches were missing a grain, school administrators "supplemented" the lunches by giving them a handful of Ritz crackers. (Because really, if mom won't give them an over-processed "grain" for lunch, who will?)    [Source]   [BJS]

Cartoon: Aftermath

[From Aftermath]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

11/21/13:  I ascended  by elevator to patient's private apartment. The Secret Service agent who accompanied me pressed a button in the frame of the entrance door. "Proceed, Dr Rink," said patient's  disembodied voice from a concealed loudspeaker above.  I opened the door, walked down a short passage and into the living room to find patient  wild-eyed, shaking and transfixed by a television screen.
"Doctor they're coming to take me away," he said."  I told him to lie on the sofa, relax and  and tell me what was troubling  him.  Apparently, a retired general had called for patient and his cabinet to be driven from office on the grounds of utter incompetence. It is not proper for me, in these confidential  progress notes  to draw any political conclusions, but suffice it to say that if that general  and I were to occupy adjacent seats on a long flight, we would not be short of subjects for discussion upon which we wholelheartedly agreed. "I have a simple, non-drug prescription," I told the moron. "Watch MSNBC instead of Fox News, and  you will find that your anxiety quickly dissipates."---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Brutal knockout 'game' continues to spread

Obama must go, says general

A retired Army general is calling for the forced resignations of President Obama, other administration officials and the leadership of Congress for the direction they’re taking the nation. His list of grievances includes the systematic political purge of hundreds of senior military officers in the U.S. military.  Retired Maj. Gen. Paul E. Vallely is calling for nationwide rallies and protests to demand the resignations and added that a peaceful “civil uprising is still not out of question.” Read more

Why women are abandoning Obama

Tammy Bruce writes: "During a six-week period of time that no one could have imagined, President Obama became the Man who Fell to Earth. Much of the commentary since the launch of Obamacare has rightfully centered on the remarkable collapse of the program and the even more shocking and utter management failure of this presidential-legacy issue by Mr. Obama and his inner circle. While the downward shift in support by most Americans in light of the fiasco is not surprising, the retreat of women from the president is most significant..."  [Read more:]

Socialist medicine in action...

A funeral home discovered a baby was alive two days after he was pronounced dead at a hospital in eastern China.  Authorities revoked the license of the doctor who mistakenly declared the newborn boy dead, the health department in Anhui province said. The statement it issued said funeral home workers found the boy to be alive on Wednesday, two days after he was pronounced dead at a provincial Children's Hospital.

Acadamia nuts: Racist sandwiches

Did you know that eating or even talking about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich could be considered racist? Apparently, it’s because people in some cultures don’t eat sandwich bread. Verenice Gutierrez, principal of Harvey Scott K-8 School in Portland explained to the Portland Tribune:
“Take the peanut butter sandwich, a seemingly innocent example a teacher used in a lesson last school year.”
“What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” Gutierrez asked. “Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?"   [Source]     [ECS]

Dim Crims: Recipe for trouble

A narcotics-trafficking defendant who attended a Florida court hearing wearing a sweatshirt imprinted with a cartoon-like recipe for producing crack cocaine was convicted last week of a pair of felonies and sentenced to three years in state prison.
Christopher Patterson, a convicted felon who previously served time for cocaine possession, entered no contest pleas last Tuesday to distribution and conspiracy charges related to the sale of the painkiller Oxycodone to an undercover cop.

Leno on Bush and Obama

The closer Jay Leno gets to retirement, the  funnier he gets

How MA. battles medical costs

Much of the anger and debate surrounding ObamaCare focuses on coverage and individual costs for the consumer. But another big question is whether it can hold down overall costs, as intended.  The state of Massachusetts is now grappling with that very question, something it didn't do when lawmakers first expanded coverage there Details   [BJS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Palin snubs 'Today' after disgusting attack

Former Alaska governor Sarah  Palin was scheduled to sit down with Matt Lauer for a Christmas season interview. Palin has now canceled Lauer’s scheduled trip to Wasilla, not because Palin is upset with Lauer or the Today show, but as a protest against NBC for not taking action against Martin Bashir, who suggested, on air at MSNBC, that someone should defecate in Sarah Palin's mouth.  LC agrees: nothing less that a summary firing  will suffice.    More

100 million more policy cancellations 'still to come'

A new and independent analysis of ObamaCare warns of a ticking time bomb, predicting a second wave of 50 million to 100 million insurance policy cancellations next fall -- right before the mid-term elections.
The next round of cancellations and premium hikes is expected to hit employees, particularly of small businesses. While the administration has tried to downplay the cancellation notices hitting policyholders on the individual market by noting they represent a relatively small fraction of the population, the swath of people who will be affected by the shake-up in employer-sponsored coverage will be much broader.
An analysis by the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank, shows the administration anticipates half to two-thirds of small businesses would have policies canceled or be compelled to send workers onto the ObamaCare exchanges. They predict up to 100 million small and large business policies could be cancelled next year. 

Delays are killing US war veterans

 Military veterans are dying needlessly because of long waits and delayed care at U.S. veterans hospitals, a CNN investigation has found.  The Department of Veterans' Affairs is aware of the problems and has done almost nothing to effectively prevent veterans dying from delays in care, according to documents obtained by CNN and interviews with numerous experts.
The problem has been especially dire at the Williams Jennings Bryan Dorn Veterans Medical Center in Columbia, South Carolina. There, veterans waiting months for simple gastrointestinal procedures -- such as a colonoscopy or endoscopy -- have been dying because their cancers aren't caught in time.   More   [BJS]

When Obama hit rock bottom

There truly is no rival for  cartoonist Michael Ramirez

[Investors Business Daily]

The Dung Beetle Award Goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled toward MSNBC for not immediately firing Martin Bashir for the truly revolting on-air suggestion that someone sh*t in Sarah Palin's mouth. [RK]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

11/20/13:  I looked in on patient early Wednesday, but he says that, apart from the occasional compulsion to bang his forehead on the Resolute Desk, he's good. It's  far too soon to expect a response to the  course of Paxil that I have prescribed to treat patient for major depression. He is overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness. Quite properly so, in my view. Worthless is, what he is. Of course, I can't tell the moron that, or he will  cry out: "Woe is me!"  and throw himself from the Truman Balcony---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Your tax dollars at work

Thanks to a multimillion-dollar federal contract, Guantanamo Bay prisoners can enroll in seminars to learn all about basic landscaping and pruning, calligraphy and Microsoft PowerPoint while the U.S. figures out what to do with them.  Prisoners also can get in touch with their artistic sides.
“At a minimum, the art seminar shall include water color painting, charcoal sketching, Arabic calligraphy, acrylic painting and pastel painting,” contract records reviewed by The Washington Times state.
The documents surfaced last week in a U.S. Court of Federal Claims lawsuit stemming from a dispute over a more than $5 million contract to provide library and seminar services to detainees at U.S. Naval Station Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.  Read more:        [ECS]

Despicable He: Obama snubs Gettysburg Address celebration

For reasons  best known to himself,  Barack Obama did not join the thousands attending the 150th  anniversary of the Gettysburg address Tuesday.     More       [BJS]

Romney would win do-over poll

As more bad poll numbers continue to pour in for President Barack Obama, a new survey finds that if the 2012 election matchup were held this month, Mitt Romney would hold the edge with the voters.
Romney topped Obama 49 percent to 45 percent among registered voters in the Washington Post-ABC News poll released Tuesday. Among all Americans, the 2012 rivals would be tied, at 47 percent. More:  [BJS]

Laddered

[From: The Looking Spoon]

Obama warned in March about O-care website

The Obama administration brought in a private consulting team to independently assess how the federal online health insurance enrollment system was developing, according to a newly disclosed document, and in late March received a clear warning that its Oct.1 launch was fraught with risks.
The analysis by McKinsey & Co. foreshadowed many of the problems that have dogged HealthCare.gov since its rollout, including the facts that the call-in centers would not work properly if the online system was malfunctioning and that insufficient testing would make it difficult to fix problems after the launch. [More]  [BJS]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

11/19/2013: Patient is showing symptoms of major depression. He is spending long hours asleep and is listless and lacking motivation and energy. He even avoided the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, attended by Carter and Clinton. Valerie Jarrett has arranged 24/7 psychiatric supervision  as I recommended yesterday. I have come to the conclusion  that the best treatment [ironically suggested on SNL]   is a substantial course of Paxil. I asked patient, if he was OK with a course of the anti-depressant. "Cool, cool, awesome" he replied."Can we spray it over the whole nation with a crop-duster to help everyone feel happier about SoetoroCare?" I didn't answer, but I left a month's prescription for him with Valerie Jarrett. Returning to my car, I had to dodge the usual blast of air from Juan the Landscaper and his backpack leaf-blower ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.

A new Obama scandal?

"In the home stretch of the 2012 presidential campaign,  the unemployment rate fell sharply — raising eyebrows from Wall Street to Washington.  The decline — from 8.1 percent in August to 7.8 percent in September — might not have been all it seemed. The numbers, according to a reliable source, were manipulated. And the Census Bureau, which does the unemployment survey, knew it.
"Just two years before the presidential election, the Census Bureau had caught an employee fabricating data that went into the unemployment report, which is one of the most closely watched measures of the economy.  And a knowledgeable source says the deception went beyond that one employee — that it escalated at the time President Obama was seeking reelection in 2012 and continues today..." [More]   [ECS]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463, Obama, Barack. H

11/18/2013:  Patient is exasperating me with his hysteria. He insisted on holding a mass conference call  with members of Organizing for Action at 8.30pm and expected me to be with him in case he developed a panic attack.  Never mind that I do not accept after-hours work except in a crisis. I sat by him as he stretched out on the  hideous 70s-style sofa in his family apartment,  iPresintophone pressed to his left ear. "It's a young  audience," he told me, "so I will employ contemporary phrases.  "Cowabunga,  dudes!" he yelled. "This is your  pal, Barack. I need you to sign up for  SoetoroCare. And to do it tonight....Awesome, dudes.
"Anybody have questions?  We've got a billion hollow-point bullets ready for you guys. Just joking..."
The moron seems to be losing it completely. He's sounding more and more like Hitler in his bunker as the Allies marched into Berlin. I gave Valerie Jarrett the card of an excellent psychiatric nursing  service and recommended that she arrange 24-hour supervision of patient.---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Obama wishes you a Merry O-Care...

Christians mark the Christmas season by celebrating the birth of Christ. President Obama would like Americans to celebrate ObamaCare. He has suggestions on Facebook and Twitter: “This holiday season, talk to your loved ones about health insurance,” reads one graphic.  “The best way to spread holiday cheer, is by talking about heath care at this time of year,” another states. [Source]    ECS

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: Obama, Barack, H.

11/18/13:  Patient is excited by something he has arranged with his nemesis, Vladimir Putin; something to do with an OGRE. Meantime, patient has also recently  been  fascinated by the misfortunes of the Mayor of Toronto and wants to try smoking crack. "Doctor," he said, " Verily I say unto you: those of us  among the exalted have exceptional pressures upon us."

"Give me a break" I told the moron.,"Forget the Biblical language.  Unlike your healthcare plague, there's nothing wrong with you that a large whisky won't cure."----Dictated by S.H.Rink M.D.

Insurance regulator queries ObamaCare fix, then fired

A day after he questioned President Obama’s decision to unwind a major tenet of the health-care law and said the nation’s capital might not go along, D.C. insurance commissioner William P. White was fired.
White was called into a meeting Friday afternoon with one of Mayor Vincent C. Gray’s (D) top deputies and told that the mayor “wants to go in a different direction,” White told The Washington Post on Saturday. More   [ECS]

Socialist medicine in action...

A brain tumor patient  in Britain has lived with a hole in his head for 10 months, after the National Health Service cancelled three successive operations. Steve Taylor, 40, first went under the knife to remove a life-threatening growth last December and had a second operation a month later when surgeons took away part of his skull to  treat an infection,  leaving Taylor with a 1 1/2 inch-long hole. A third operation to close the hole was postponed due to a high number of emergency patients. Taylor, from Packmoor, near Stoke-on-Trent, said: “I just want to get it over with so I can get on with my life.”  [Source]   [BJS]

Dim Crims: Suspect's finger points to his guilt

A man who works for an air conditioning company  in Glendale, Arizona, told police that someone tried to steal copper wiring  worth more than $300 off his work truck, which was parked in the driveway of his home. He told police that a copper spool had been pulled out about 20 feet from his truck and he saw what appeared to be a cut-off finger caught up in the wiring.
The responding officer retrieved the finger as evidence. Forensic techs obtained a latent print off the finger and the suspect was identified as Joshua Allen Goverman, 29, of Glendale. Detectives located Goverman a week later and took him into custody. [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Vlad closes the deal

Dear Diary: My day began with good news. My iPresidentophone  sounded a hip-hop version of Keep the Red Flag Flying, my ringtone for Putin. "Obamavitch, you expressed interest  yesterday in allowing Mother Russia to have a couple of relay stations within the USA to help us improve our GPS system, Glonass. I offered you the use of our blindingly fast OGRE supercomputer  to process your ObamaCare  patient claims almost before they are submitted. That will resurrect  your status as a hero of the Left and all for a few listening...cough...err...relay stations in the U.S."
 I replied wearily: "It's SoetoroCare now, Vlad. But, da.  I am very interested in your offer."
"Done!" said Putin. "Wait, Vlad," I said, but he had  disconnected before I could qualify my decision. But enough about me. 

Deadly new 'game' sweeps U.S.

 A terrifying new ‘game’ that’s already caused deaths in Syracuse, St. Louis and New Jersey is sweeping the nation, and it preys upon unsuspecting people walking the streets, anywhere.

A recent report from New York-based CBS 2 shed light on the growing trend, displaying unsettling footage of teens participating in this game – which goes by the name ‘Knockout’ –http://washington.cbslocal.com/2013/11/16/potentially-fatal-knockout-game-targeting-strangers-may-be-spreading-to-d-c/#comments and involves randomly targeting passersby, with the ultimate goal being to knock them out with one punch as they walk by.

One victim shown in the footage was 46-year-old Ralph Santiago of Hoboken, N.J., who was found dead with his neck broken and head lodged between iron fence posts, according to NJ.com.  [Source]    [RK]

Saudis offer help to Israel in plan to attack Iran

Israel is coordinating with Saudi Arabia on plans for a possible military strike on Iran, with Riyadh prepared to provide tactical support to Jerusalem, a British newspaper reported Sunday.
The two countries have both united in worry that the West may come to terms with Iran, easing sanctions and allowing the Islamic Republic to continue its nuclear program. According to The Sunday Times, Riyadh has agreed to let Israel use its airspace in a military strike on Iran and cooperate over the use of rescue helicopters, tanker planes and drones.

Cartoon: The Looking Spoon

[The Lookingspooncom]

Barack Obama's Diary: Vlad makes an offer

Dear Diary: Aauugh!  How much can a human being be expected to endure? I offered a generous compromise to those few millions who claim to have had their healthcare plans cancelled. Then,  when I summoned insurance company CEOs to the White House to instruct them on what I required, they whined that  that they had not been consulted  before I announced what action they must immediately take. What impudence!  They have actuaries who do nothing else but make such calculations. They are not fooling me with their jargon:  I asked them: "If a=b  and b=a what is d? They all looked me blankly. It's hard to believe any of them have even run  a lemonade stand.  Nobody knows the trouble I've seen... As I sat down for lunch with Joe Biden, my iPresidentophone burst into a rousing hip-hop rendition of Keep The Red Flag Flying. " Putin?" I asked, for it was his ringtone.  "Obamavitch! Nasdrovia!"  "Vlad!," I declared. "You sound uncommonly cheerful today..."
"Obamavitch have I got a deal for you! We have a system that will complement your  American GPS system and all we need for it are a few small listening-- cough... I mean relay stations, on the American mainland  In return for that I am offering you use of our OGRE supercomputer to run your "ObamaCare".
"SoetoroCare, Vlad." I sniffed.
"Whatever, Obamavitch" said Putin. I expressed great interest in OGRE and promised to follow up.
But enough about me.

Thus Spake Obama...

Here's Mark Steyn at his best: "It is a condition of my admission to this great land that I am not allowed to foment the overthrow of the United States government. Oh, I signed it airily enough, but you’d be surprised, as the years go by, how often the urge to foment starts to rise in one’s gullet.
Fortunately, at least as far as constitutional government goes, the president of the United States is doing a grand job of overthrowing it all by himself.  On Thursday, he passed a new law at a press conference. George III never did that. But, having ordered America’s insurance companies to comply with Obamacare, the president announced that he is now ordering them not to comply with Obamacare. The legislative branch (as it’s still quaintly known) passed a law purporting to grandfather your existing health plan. The regulatory bureaucracy then interpreted the law so as to un-grandfather your health plan. So His Most Excellent Majesty has commanded that your health plan be de-un-grandfathered. That seems likely to work. The insurance industry had three years to prepare for the introduction of Obamacare. Now the King has given them six weeks to de-introduce Obamacare..."
Don't miss the rest from this brilliant writer.  Read it all.     [BJS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Obama snub angers insurers

President Obama failed to consult insurers before announcing a significant change to Obamacare that could require them to quickly take a variety of actions and will likely significantly  impact their bottom line. Because why do emperors have to talk to their subjects before decreeing divinely-inspired policies? asks Keith Koffler of White House Dossier.  According to The New York Times, “many” insurers who attended a hastily-called meeting with Obama at the White House ”expressed anger that the president had not consulted them before announcing changes.”

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Hitler's health insurance gets cancelled

Barack Obama's Diary: Valjar's night on the town

Dear Diary: M. and I took Valerie Jarrett out to Nora's organic eatery  in DC this  evening, to celebrate Val's birthday. She has more than earned an expensive  treat this week after helping me to draw up my response to what I now refer to as SoetoroCare which is a swamp of monstrous misjudgements, even by Democrat standards. Thanks for nuttin,' Kathleen Sibelius. Nora's  food was delicate, but  the few lungsful of Blueberry Yum Yum  I had sneaked earlier had given me the munchies, and I yearned for a bag of Cheetos and a nice thick beef  fillet with A1 steak sauce, but Michelle would have torn me limb from limb if I  had dared  even to think of such a thing. Not that Nora would have deigned to have such toxic food in her immaculate culinary temple. But enough about me.

Friedman explains free enterprise in words even Obama could understand

Quote of the Day...

David Horsey in The  LA Times: " Healthcare is a political football, above all else, at the national level. Obama has blown several big plays and lost a lot of yardage. His own team is not providing much coverage and the other side is lined up, revved up and ready to sack him, steal the ball and put him out of the game."
[BJS]

Constitutional Crisis?

Dim Crims: Donut trap

 Deputies in Pasco County, Florida, arrested a man after he tried to get a discount on donuts by impersonating a law enforcement officer.  Police say say 48-year-old Charles "Chuck" Barry went to the drive-thru of a Trinity Dunkin' Donuts last week, and after identifying himself as law enforcement, asked for a discount on his order of donuts.  When the clerk refused to give him the discount, Barry allegedly held up a gun -- still in its holster -- and said, "See, I'm a cop!" The witness told investigators Barry never pointed the gun at him or took it out of its holster. Barry was arrested when he returned the next next day. [Source]  [BJS]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: Obama, Barack, H.

11/14/13: I have stayed away from Patient for two days, for several reasons. Firstly, he has shown no real desire to abstain from weed. Secondly, he  has been behaving even more like a moron than usual and I need to see if I can determine  how much of his behavior  is the effect of Cannabis Sativa (var. Blueberry Yum Yum). Patient has been almost manic today, saying: "if you like your scalp you can keep your scalp and dancing around in a circle, chanting what he thinks is a native American battle song. I suspect this is all  the result of a bruised ego, which is a punishing thing to endure for someone with narcissistic personality disorder---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Who knew? Obama says insurance is complicated

Obama: "What we’re discovering is that . . . insurance is complicated to buy."
I mean, gosh, who knew? Why should the people now responsible for our health care know about that?
What’s next? Something like, 'What we’re discovering is, the Iranians are abject liars.'
This was one of the more startling moments of President Obama’s press conference today, reported by Keith Koffler at White House Dossier. 

What would it take for the NYT to call Obama a liar?

"What would it take for The New York Times to call Obama a liar?" asks Australia conservative columnist
Andrew Bolt.  "The New York Times seems unable to call out a liar when it’s a politician of the Left:
The NYT’s first description of Barack Obama’s big healthcare lie was "Mr. Obama clearly misspoke when he said that."
The NYT’s latest description of Barack Obama’s big healthcare lie:
"The split between lawmakers and the White House reflects the dilemma the president finds himself in as he seeks to follow through on last week’s acknowledgment about his incorrect promise on health care coverage. [Source]   B.H.

Barack Obama's Diary: Wheee! I got it

Dear Diary: I've got it! A way to deflect criticism from the launch of ObamaCare. I shall call it SoetoroCare. It's been a phenomenal success. If anybody  doesn't agree, they must be racist Republicans [Is there any other kind?] Mitch McConnell reckons SoetoroCare has fewer customers than his local Sonic drive-thru restaurant.  That's gourmet food in Kentucky -- ain't much demand for that.
Hear ye! Hear ye! I hereby issue an executive order that the ACA shall henceforth be known as the  SCA and if you like your health care plan you can keep your health care plan, if I agree to it (note  how I slipped in that cunning little qualification in at the end. How clever is that? )  But enough about me.

Barack Obama's Diary: I gotta go teepee

Dear Diary: I met with native leaders Wednesday morning and showed once again how brilliant I am at blending in with other cultures: "Me Big Chief  Obama, me bring you Affordable Care Act...  If you like your witchdoctor, you can keep your witchdoctor."  Much to my surprise, they let out a bloodcurdling howl and began  dancing around me, ululating, chanting and waving their tomahawks. One snarled at me: "Obama speak with forked tongue, you make us pay too much wampum," and he made as if to slit my throat.
 I said: "I gotta go teepee" and vanished into the men's room where my male Secret Service detail took up position each side of me at the urinals. But enough about me.

Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg

[Hope n' Change Cartoons]

Cartoon: Steve Sack

[The Minneapolis Star Tribune]

Scholastic 'Omits Israel on map'

“Thea Stilton and the Blue Scarab Hunt,” part of the popular Geronimo Stilton children’s series translated  from Italian and published by Scholastic, tells the story of a group of investigative journalists involved in a treasure hunt in Egypt. A map in the book completely omits the state of Israel. Scholastic says it is withdrawing the book from sale until a corrected edition is printed.  

Obama's lies: Where's the justice?

What’s the difference between Obama and Kevin Trudeau?
After a trial which concluded Wednesday, TV pitchman Kevin Trudeau is going to jail for allegedly lying to the American people about healthcare on TV. Obama, on the other hand, is still free as a bird. [Source]  [ECS]

Who are the State Dept's Special 100?

Earlier this year, Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin drew scrutiny for a special arrangement that allowed her to work part time at the State Department while simultaneously maintaining a side gig working for a corporate consulting firm. Under the arrangement, first reported by Politico, Abedin was a “special government employee,” a category created decades ago designed to allow experts to serve in government while keeping outside jobs. So who else is a special government employee at the State Department? The department won’t say -- even as eight other federal agencies readily sent ProPublica  lists of their own special government employees. A State Department spokeswoman did confirm to that there are “about 100” such employees. But asked for a list, she added that, “As general policy, [the department] does not disclose employee information of this nature.” More.   [BJS]

Healthcare.gov is terminally ill

"When I visited HealthCare.gov on October 1, that was the worst piece of software I’ve ever experienced in my life,” said Luke Chung, founder and CEO of the software company FMS. “It had nothing to do with too many users. It couldn’t serve one user.”
According to Sumit Nijhawan, CEO of Infogix, a data security firm working with private insurers, even if the White House can fix the problems associated with the site, they’re going to find new ones immediately. Nijhawan also warned that the systems that allow CMS and health insurance companies to exchange information are nowhere close to being ready, meaning tech problems could last years.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Poll reveals 55% want 0-care repealed

A new Rasmussen poll suggests growing trouble for President Obama’s troubled healthcare law. The poll of likely voters finds that a solid majority of 55% believe that Obamacare is bad for the country and want it repealed. Just 35% believe it will be good for the country.

Dems demean women to boost ObamaCare

So few people have enrolled in Obamacare that desperate Democrats have stooped to launching a war on women with demeaning and sexist ads.
The latest marketing campaign implies that young women would only be interested in Colorado's government-run health care exchange if they get coverage for birth control pills to have sex with strange men.
The most offensive ad shows a 20-something woman named “Susie” holding a packet of birth control pills with an open-mouth, wide smile. She is wearing a flesh-colored, low-cut, sleeveless top, tight skinny jeans and open-toed black heels.
Susie is leaning against “Nate,” who is wearing an untucked shirt with the top four buttons undone to show his hairy chest. He has a smirk on his face and one hand in the pocket of his jeans.
“OMG, he’s hot!,” Susie is shown saying. “Let’s hope he’s as easy to get as this birth control. My health insurance covers the pill, which means all I have to worry about is getting him between the covers.”
Obamacare ad created by the Colorado Consumer Health Initiative and ProgressNow Colorado Education "to educate everyone about the benefits of the Affordable Care Act."  Read more:

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]     [ECS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Still higher

Dear Diary:  Harvard Professor David Cutler, who served as the senior health care advisor to my 2008 campaign says that premiums “will be very high” if enough people don’t sign up on the Obamacare exchanges.  What does this fruitcake know about "high?" I, on the other hand, as a veteran smoker of Blueberry yum yum, know a great deal about "high"--I think if we send out a bag of weed with the first Obama bill to each subscriber. The lethergy that follows should ensure a few years free from complaints. But enough about me.

Obamacare's worst- case scenarios

"The saying goes that things have to get worse before they get better. But with Obamacare, things just keep getting worse—and then they get worse still. In private, even many critics of the law are at least a bit surprised by how poorly the rollout has gone. The question that many are asking is: How bad can this really get?  The answer is…worse. A lot worse.   Over the weekend, several reports suggested that, despite continued assurances that Healthcare.gov, the problem-plagued online insurance enrollment portal run by the federal government, would be running smoothly for most users by the end of the month, it increasingly looks likely that the deadline will be missed.  Read more at Reason.com. 

Obama trauma: New sticker shock in January

In recent weeks, many people have focused on the monthly cost of buying a health insurance plan in the insurance marketplace. What I’m talking about is different: The out-of-pocket costs they may face when they go to use that new policy.  The president has promised to deliver affordable care to all Americans who want it. But the notion of what’s affordable may well be in the eye of the beholder.  Many low-income people who haven’t had insurance before will qualify for subsidies to lower their monthly insurance premiums and reduce their out-of-pocket costs. And some with current policies will find that their new ones are indeed more affordable. But many won’t. Those on both the left and the right side of the political spectrum — and in between — acknowledge this may surprise consumers.

Taxpayers pay $6million for Obama fundraiser travel

A record-breaking fundraising spree by Barack Obama has seen him take 30 separate visits to wealthy donors since April, according to a Guardian investigation into campaign finance trips that are running at more than twice the rate of the president's two-term predecessors.
Although unable to run again for election himself, Obama is estimated to have raised up to $40m for other Democrats since his last inauguration in January as he devotes a growing portion of the second term to financing efforts aimed at winning back control of Congress in next year's midterm elections.
Travelling to the 30 fundraisers, mostly held in private mansions and luxury hotels across 10 cities, has also required him to clock up more than 20,000 miles on Air Force One at an estimated cost to the US taxpayer of more than $6m. [Source]   BJS

Barack Obama's Diary: Turncoat Bill

Dear Diary: Aauugh!  I am betrayed. Bill Clinton  called on me publicly today to keep the promises I made to independent policyholders that they could keep their healthcare policies if they liked their policies. Bastard. He's obviously moving to distance Hillary from me when she runs for the presidency. One moment he's flattering me; the next he shoving a shiv between my ribs. Readers will note my deft use of a semi-colon in the previous sentence. This is  a clear indication of a  person of exceptional education and intelligence, such as myself.  But enough about me.

Clinton: Obama should keep O-care promises

Bill Clinton said in an interview published today that President Obama “should honor his commitment” to those who “heard the promise, if you like what you got, you can keep it.”
Clinton, speaking to the news site OZY, said it was unfair that certain recipients who are in the individual marketplace are having their policies cancelled and substituted for more expensive plans:
"I personally believe, even if it takes a change to the law, the president should honor his commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they got."
The  remarks suggests the Clintons may be starting to reposition themselves away from President Obama and trying to dissociate themselves from the Obamacare rollout debacle as Hillary Clinton gears up for her expected presidential campaign. More here

Ethanol push devastates land

With the Iowa political caucuses on the horizon in 2007, presidential candidate Barack Obama made homegrown corn a centerpiece of his plan to slow global warming. And when President George W. Bush signed a law that year requiring oil companies to add billions of gallons of ethanol to their gasoline each year, Mr. Bush predicted it would make the country "stronger, cleaner and more secure."
But the ethanol era has proven far more damaging to the environment than politicians promised and much worse than the government admits today.
As farmers rushed to find new places to plant corn, they wiped out millions of acres of conservation land, destroyed habitat and polluted water supplies, an Associated Press investigation found.
Five million acres of land set aside for conservation - more than Yellowstone, Everglades and Yosemite National Parks combined - have vanished on Mr. Obama's watch.   More

O-Care: Repeal is 'inevitable'

"Prediction: even if HealthCare.gov is fixed by the end of the month (unlikely), Obamacare is going to be repealed well in advance of next year’s election," writes Steven Hayward.  "And if the website continues to fail, the push for repeal—from endangered Democrats—will occur very rapidly.  The website is a sideshow: the real action is the number of people and businesses who are losing their health plans or having to pay a lot more.  Fixing the website will only delay the inevitable."  [Source]

Hundreds bid farewell to solitary veteran

Hundreds have attended the funeral of a 99-year-old former World War II airman who died without family, after a nursing home appealed for strangers to give him a send-off.  Harold Percival died Oct. 25 in Lytham St. Annes, northwest England. The nursing home placed an advertisement in the local newspaper asking military personnel to attend the service.
The ad was taken up on Twitter, and several hundred soldiers, veterans and civilians gathered at a crematorium Monday to pay respects to Percival, who served as ground crew with the Royal Air Force during the war.

Hold the front page...

Our Vermont correspondent, noting an item in the Daily Mail, writes : "Newspapers and magazines may be disappearing but there are still great stories to be written, like this: " Two people I never heard of have lunch. Um, that's it. Oh, and one rides a bike. Other one wears glasses and reads her phone."

Dim Crims: Woman accused of using her fingerprint to gain $6000

Ariel Sinclair, 23, is accused of stealing nearly $6,000 in cash from the Virginia State Lottery.“If you’re providing your fingerprint to access [the] machine I have no idea how, in your mind, you’re thinking you’re going to get away with this,” said Adam Bernstein of the Virginia Beach Police Department.  They say she used her own fingerprint to gain access to a Rite Aid lottery machine and the cash inside, a blunder that pointed police in her direction, said Bernstein.  Sinclair has been charged with embezzlement.   [ Source]    [BJS] 

Barack Obama's Diary: Hanoi John

Dear Diary: I consulted my alternative reality this morning,  smoking a fat joint of Blueberry Yum Yum  on the South lawn and tried to figure out where John Kerry had  gone wrong in  the Geneva talks on Iran's nuclear weapons.  A booming voice in my head said: "Barry, You know you got problems when the French start callin' you a Cheetos-eating surrender monkey".
 I think Hanoi John may over-reacted to my instructions to sign an agreement and get the hell out of Geneva ASAP, and tried  to give away the farm with nothing in return. Bibi Netanyahu called me this morning, incandescent with rage. It was the time that Putin normally calls, while I'm eating my Froot Loops with chocolate milk. But this time, my unique, specially-engraved iPresidentophone burst into a rousing rendition of Hava Nagila, which is my ringtone for Bibi. He let rip at me for at least ten minutes while I put him on speaker  and practiced my  putts on the Oval Office carpet. But enough about me.

Even France says 'non' to Obama's sell-out of Israel

With a fevered and frantic breathless pace, Obama via John Kerry has been pushing to sign a sell-out deal with Iran that would ease sanctions without shutting down Iran’s nuke program.
Benjamin Netanyahu was furious when he found out that Kerry had misrepresented what the proposed agreement would be, not to mention Kerry running at the mouth to bash Israel on the talks with the Palestinians.  Netanyahu was not alone.  France was uncomfortable with the deal Kerry wanted to sign, even as Kerry huddled with the Iranians.  "Thank you, France for at least buying us some time to prevent a historic sell-out of Israel," writes Prof. William Jacobson. 

Progress Notes for Patient 540463 Obama, Barack, H.

11/9/13  Patient returned from Miami  at about 6pm. He seemed to be more self-confident after addressing audiences with the same world view that he has -- in other words, morons. He immediately launched into a long spiel about horoscopes and how they were giving him guidance in his decisions. "If you like your horoscope you can keep your horoscope," he said proudly. What if you don't like your horoscope?" I asked.  "Simple,"  he replied, "we will pass a bill to provide exchanges for people to obtain subsidized horoscopes. I will call it the Affordable Horoscope Act, or AHA!"  There appears to be no limit to this man's idiocy. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D

Dim Crims: Thief jammed in chimney

Police say Richard Tyler Brandon, 25, got stuck half way down a chimney while  allegedly trying  to burglarize a home in Naples, Florida. His friend, Derek Grenfell, 26, told authorities he warned his friend not to go down the chimney. "I said, `Dude, you're not Santa Claus, what are you doing?"   Grenfell went looking for help and found police officers at a nearby gas station. They called for additional help from police and firefighters, who saw a sooty, shoeless foot dangling into the fireplace. It took two hours to pull Brandon out of the chimney with a harness. Read more: