Dear Diary: With my post-election flexibility I can take a stronger stance on gun control. I plan to let Dianne Feinstein act as a stalking horse with her assault weapons bill. If that fails I can always fall back on an executive order. I'm feeling great today: Boehner has folded like a cheap suit on taxes and I'm hoping we can get a fiscal cliff agreement in time for me and the family to hail Taxpayer One on Friday for our Hawaii vacation. It's neat having an air-cab on call. The fare is only about $200,000 an hour -- chump change next to the $15 trillion deficit. And still people call us extravagant!