Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

I had arranged a consultation with Patient for 7.0pm as  he had a packed, stressful day.  In his private apartment I had him stretch out on a sofa and tell me what was going on in his life. I noticed that he wasn't as alert as usual and asked him how many tablets  of his medication he had consumed today. "Seven" he said. "That's way too much," I said.
" It began with Putin at breakfast."Patient played back the  conversation with Putin he had recorded on his iPhone:  "Good morning Obamavitch. Or should I call you Bath-house Barry?  Bwaaahahaha!" Patient explained that when he was living in the Windy City,  one bath-house was rumored to refer to one room as the "Oral Office and another two as the "Presidential Suite". I made reassuring noises that this was just another way for Putin to bully him.  Then Patient told me about an awkward luncheon  incident today involving Benjamin Netanyahu, Joe Biden and a tureen of soup. I agreed with patient that he was justified in self medicating with the very mild sedative. "But," I warned "Don't you take the dogs for a walk in order to  smoke a secret joint. I will  take a blood sample tomorrow, and if it detects cannabis, no more tranquilizer. The bird-brain nodded his agreement but will doubtless ignore me. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.
  

Gubmint Green

 Stimulus funds aimed at jump-starting the economy paid for about 4,000 trees in Denver, with many ending up at million dollar homes in Denver’s priciest neighborhoods where residents acknowledge they could have paid for their own trees, but the government was giving them out for free, so why pay? Read more.  [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary [Part2]

Dear Diary: It's not often that I make two Diary entries in a day, but today has been extraordinary. I arranged for  Secret Service  agents to act as servers for lunch with Bibi Netanyahu. Bibi terrifies me almost as much as Vlad Putin, and Biden would be of no help if Bibi jumped up in a fury and started stranglin' me.  We all sat down amicably enough and a 'server' brought in a tureen of  soup from which he ladled a  bowl of clam chowder each. Bibi toyed with it suspiciously and said: "I need to call my taster , as I think this is not kosher". He reached into his pocket and pulled out a dark-colored phone. " GUN! " yelled the server. The tureen of soup flew into the air as the agent flung himself   between Bibi and Me. Most of the chowder landed on Biden and the tureen clattered to the floor. Awkwaaard . There was a hideously embarrassed  silence until Joe, never at a loss for words said:  "Another fine mess you got me in, Bibi."  Netanyahu laughed uproariously  and  I covertly swallowed another of Dr. Rink's calming pills and tried to look as though nothing had happened. But enough about me.

Nuts to ObamaCare

"A recent CNBC poll found more Americans oppose ObamaCare than oppose the Affordable Care Act. But more Americans support ObamaCare than the Affordable Care Act.
Confused? That would be understandable given that these are two names for the same law. CNBC polled two different groups, using "ObamaCare" for one and "Affordable Care Act" for the other. Forty-six percent of the group asked about "ObamaCare" opposed it. But only 37% of those asked about the health law opposed it.  Conversely, ObamaCare had higher support than the law. As CNBC put it, Obama's name raises the positives and the negatives.
"As a rational matter, this is nuts. An informed person should have the same opinions -- positive or negative -- about a piece of legislation regardless of what it's called. But because politics is so often driven by our attitudes toward specific personalities, for many Americans, their attitudes toward a monumentally significant piece of legislation are driven by something as petty as whether "Obama" is in the title." Read it all.  [ECS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Scary Bibi

Dear Diary: Auugh! The pressure on Me is becoming unbearable. Bibi Netanyahu is coming to lunch today and I know he will be angry at my  overtures towards  President Hasan Rouhani of Iran. Behind closed doors Netanyahu is very intimidating. He will listen to my brilliant analysis of the Middle East and interrupt  with something dismissive like: "Cut the crap, Obama. You know, as well as I do,  that the Iranians  are developing a nuclear weapon as fast as they can.  The only question that remains is where they will detonate it. Israel is a burr under their saddle. But you are a thorn in their side.   How's that hardened deep-underground  communications  center you had built for you, Obama?"  His bullying will make Me feel an instinctive, overwhelming desire to curl up and rub my cheek with my  satin-edged comfort blankie, Boo Boo. But I will resist it, and take one of Dr. Rink's calming pills instead.  But enough about me.

Moscow calling

"Yes, sir, Mr Putin, straightaway, Mr Putin."

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

Patient is still subject to regular mockery from Vladimir Putin. Putin usually calls during patient's breakfast time in DC  which is evening in Moscow, while I usually consult with Patient in the early evening DC time. Today I arranged to come to patient's private dining room at breakfast time to listen in on a Putin call so I can begin devising some coping skills for patient. I sat with patient and shared some his wholewheat toast until the sounds of the Moscow Steel Foundry Men's Choir coming from  patient's phone  indicated that Putin was calling. Patient put his phone on speaker so I could listen. "Good morning, Obamavitch (patient visibly cringed at the name) Putin here".There was the distinct sound of sheets being  rearranged. A female voice in the background declared: "Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him. Come out, damned spot! Out, I command you ..." It  was obviously the Shakespearean  actress with whom Putin has been disporting himself since his divorce. "Just disconnect," I told patient --"he's just trying to unnerve you"
"Disconnect, from Vladimir? Patient turned 50 shades of grey. "But, doctor,  I would be left with no strategic guidance for Syria and Iran."   "Just do it," I said, prescribed a mild sedative  for the moron and left. --Dictated by S.H. Rink,  M.D.

Cruz now top GOP choice

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz's effort to defund Obamacare is paying off politically as he is now the top choice of Republican voters for president in 2016, according to a survey taken by Public Policy Polling (PPP)  from Sept. 25-26 of 743 Republican primary voters, 20 percent now say that the Texas Republican is their pick to lead the party in the 2016 presidential election — gaining eight points since the last PPP poll taken in July.
After Cruz, seventeen percent of Republican voters said they would vote for Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul to represent the party in the 2016 presidential election, with 14 percent for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie.

Shutdown looms larger

"Bowing to the wishes of conservatives, Speaker John Boehner and the House GOP leadership team have decided to propose a bill to fund the government that would include a one-year delay of Obamacare, increasing the likelihood of a government shutdown," writes Keith Koffler at White House Dossier.
The legislation, which could pass today, would also permanently repeal an unpopular medical device tax used to help fund the law. Koffler continues: "With the Senate unlikely to pass the measure and Obama certain to veto it, the bill would lead to a government shutdown if nothing else is done. But lawmakers have until Monday night, when funding runs out, to figure something out." More

Your tax dollars at work

 Hillsborough County, Florida,  has poured millions of tax dollars over the past 20 years into a program meant to cover rent for homeless people. But county leaders can't say for sure whether the landlords they paid actually housed anyone. A computer system tracks rent checks paid each month under the Homeless Recovery program. The system, though, does not record the addresses where tenants are supposed to be living.  Details here   [BJS]

Academia Nuts: GOP 'wants kids to die'

Republican lawmakers “want kids to die.” Conservatives “are trying to take the U.S. hostage” and hope to “destroy our public school system.” --just some of the wild allegations made at a meeting of North Carolina professors who have helped lead weekly “Moral Monday” protests at the state capitol over the last several months. The Moral Monday movement is a massive and disruptive weekly civil disobedience demonstration, with liberal activists using it as a platform to rally against the Republican-held majority in the General Assembly and its approval of issues such as voter-ID laws and fiscal responsibility on public education. More here

Bin Laden raid 'one big lie'

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Seymour Hersh says that the raid which killed Osama Bin Laden in 2011 is “one big lie” and that “not one word” of the Obama administration’s narrative on what happened is true.
In an interview published  by The Guardian, Hersh savages the US media for failing to challenge the White House on a whole host of issues, from NSA spying, to drone attacks, to aggression against Syria.
On the subject of the Navy Seal raid that supposedly resulted in the death of the Al-Qaeda terror leader, Hersh remarked, “Nothing’s been done about that story, it’s one big lie, not one word of it is true.”
Hersh added that the Obama administration habitually lies but they continue to do so because the press allows them to get away with it.
“It’s pathetic, they are more than obsequious, they are afraid to pick on this guy [Obama],” Hersh told The Guardian.
The raid that supposedly led to Bin Laden’s death has been shrouded in mystery for over two years. Speculation that the Obama administration may have embellished or outright lied about the true account of what happened has persisted, mainly because the White House has refused to publicly release images of Bin Laden’s body.
Although the White House said the corpse was immediately “buried at sea” in line with Islamic tradition, it quickly emerged that this was not standard practice.
Numerous analysts have claimed that Bin Laden had in fact been dead for years and that the raid on his alleged compound in Pakistan was little more than a stunt. More.      [ECS]  [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Moscow calling

Dear Diary: I was eatin' my breakfast eggs at an ungodly hour when the Moscow Foundry Men's Choir  rendition of Keep The Red Flag Flyin' blared from  my iPresidentophone and  mercifully drowned out the sycophants on the Today show. "Good mornin' Pootin", I said [for it was he]. "Obamavitch," he said. "I want to demonstrate to you what real  diplomacy does....I have President Hassan Rouhani  of Iran on the line.   There was a burst of  static and  a voice said: " Hello,  al-Obama?  President Rouhani here. I'm on the  way to JFK. President Putin wants us to have a preliminary telephone talk to set up further talks between our two sides."
"Excellent". I said tryin' to contain my excitement, but knowin' this to be a real breakthrough/distraction at just the right time. "Let's leave it to our ambassadors to sort out a place, time and agenda. "Rouhani --or his translator--   began warbling a pop song from  the Carter era (which is probably the last time anyone in Iranistan heard pop music) "It's my Farsi and I'll cry if I want to."  A quaint, but touchin', gesture. But enough about me.

Drug gives users a reptile dysfunction

Officials are “extremely frightened” by a new drug called Krokodil, popular in Russia, that has shown up in at least two cases in Arizona this week.  Krokodil is created by mixing codeine, gasoline, paint thinner, hydrochloric acid and even the red phosphorous scraped from the tips of matches, filtering it and then injecting it into the body, according to media reports.  The concoction can cause the flesh to eat away and leaves severe addicts with reptilian-like skin, hence the drug’s name.   Read more: 

Where did the old America go?

This week's United Nations General Assembly underscored how little influence President Barack Obama has on the world stage, and the longing among allies for a resurgence of strong American leadership, Peggy Noonan says.
In her column for The Wall Street Journal, Noonan says that conversations behind the scenes at the annual U.N. session indicated concern that American influence has waned, and nostalgia for the "old America" that set an example of leadership and success admired throughout the world.
"The world misses the old America, the one before the crash — the crashes — of the past dozen years," the author and former speechwriter for President Ronald Reagan writes.
"Our friends, and we have many, speak almost poignantly of the dynamism, excellence, exuberance and leadership of the nation they had, for so many years, judged themselves against, been inspired by, attempted to emulate, resented," she says.
"As for those who are not America's friends, some seem still confused, even concussed, by the new power shift. What is their exact place in it? Will it last? Will America come roaring back? Can she? Does she have the political will, the human capital, the old capability?"
According to Noonan, one area that left few in doubt, is Obama's lack of clout among his counterparts.
"Barack Obama's reputation among this fellow international players has deflated, his stature almost collapsed. In diplomatic circles, attitudes toward his leadership have been declining for some time, but this week you could hear the disappointment, and something more dangerous: the sense that he is no longer, perhaps, all that relevant." [Source]

Resetting a password

   [Warning: strong language]

Resetting a Password:
 "Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one."
 roses
 "Sorry, too few characters."
 pretty roses
 "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."
1 pretty rose
 "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
 1prettyrose
 "Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."
1fuckingprettyrose
 "Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."
 1FUCKINGprettyrose
 "Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."
 1FuckingPrettyRose
"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."
 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow
 "Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."
 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow
 "Sorry, that password is already in use."

Academia Nuts: Gender initiative

Next fall, students at the University of Arizona will be able to pursue an education in transgender studies in an  initiative billed as the first of its kind. Administrators recently posted four job openings on behalf of the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences seeking to hire professors who will teach exclusively on transgender studies in what one professor called an “unprecedented initiative.”

Dem charged with stealing campaign cash

The former executive director of the state Senate Democratic Campaign Committee  has been charged with embezzling at least $250,000 in campaign donations. Michael King faked polling results and other expenses and wrote himself checks from the Democrats’ campaign account between 2011 and early 2013, according to charging papers filed by the King County Prosecutor’s Office. King, 32, of Seattle, is charged with eight counts of theft carrying a possible sentence of 22 to 29 months, the Prosecutor’s Office said. More here.  [BJS]

Academia nuts: Death wish

According to Indiana University journalism professor Christopher Lamb, Kansas University professor David Guth wasn’t wrong to wish death on  the children of NRA members,  he just picked the wrong shooting to criticize. More.

Dim Crims: Never bark at a K9

 A 26-year-old man who was stopped at a sobriety checkpoint in Pennsylvania started barking and growling at a police dog named Chaos. Chaos started barking back, though his handler kept him under control. That was the good news for James Paul Andrews. The bad news is that taunting a police animal is a felony punishable by up to seven years in prison, reports the Cranberry Eagle. Andrews now faces that charge along with others for DUI and driving without a license.           [BJS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

The Obamacare nightmare

"If the thinking members of the Democratic Party... don't wake up soon and decide that Obamacare's individual mandate needs to be postponed for at least a year—in order to fix its many egregious elements or, better yet, start all over from scratch—then the country is on the verge of entering what could be its worst nightmare: a healthcare train wreck of epic proportions," writes the always-excellent Scott Grannis. He lists some of the biggest problems with Obamacare: Details here.      [BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Aauugh!

Dear Diary:  Aauuugh! Just when I thought I was out of the woods with My paranoia and the damned moose that follows me everywhere I go, comes a cruel blow from a leading pollster. YouGov declares that an overwhelming number of Americans think that Pootin did a better job of sortin' out Syrian than I-- famous throughout the Muslim world as al-Obama --did.   I charged my iPresidentophone 5S over breakfast this morning ready for a busy day. As I swallowed the last of my Froot Loops and two eggs over-easy with wholewheat toast, the phone blared the Moscow Steelmakers' Choir  rendition of Keep the Red Flag Flying. I slid my thumb across the screen. " Hello," I said. " Obamavitch! Bwaaah-ha-ha! Vlad Pootin here, [for it was he] "Obamavitch,  I see that I am outscoring you in your own nation's opinion polls. Did I not send you Diplomacy for Dummies by Leonid Brezhnev a few weeks back? And did I not I tell you to watch me, Vladimir Pootin, and learn? But noooo-o-o ...you were too grand for that and wanted to play with your cruise missiles, Obamavitch."  Pootin knows how much that nickname assaults my ears like a cheese-grater. "Vlad, For God's Sake stop with that name!" I yelled. " I am the leader of the Free World! I shall not be denied."
"Yeah, Obamavitch, such a leader that you couldn't even get President Rouhani of Iran to do a grin and grasp with you at the UN. You know what he told me yesterday? That you, al-Obama, are a wuss. Have a nice day..."
"Hello? Hello? Vlad?  Too late. He had disconnected. Bastard.

Syria: America rates Putin higher than Obama

A recently released YouGov poll shows that Americans overwhelming believe Russian President Vladimir Putin has been far more effective during the Syrian chemical weapons crisis than President Obama.
When asked, "Which world leader was most effective during the Syrian chemical weapons crisis?", 49 percent of Americans gave the nod to Putin while only 25 percent pointed to Obama.
Among Republicans, the ratio was 63 percent for Putin to only 7 percent for Obama. Democrats gave Obama just under 50 percent approval while giving Putin 37 percent.  Details here.

Obama presidency 'unraveling'

The presidency of Barack Obama appears to be unraveling, writes Richard Fernandez...first the UK parliament, then both parties of Congress balked at his Syrian policy. Then Putin humiliated him so badly internationally that he retreated to the safety of domestic policy. But worse was to yet come: Rouhani, the Iranian leader, boarded a plane home having refused to meet the President of a country he had just visited and demonstrating to all and sundry you could beard the president of the US on his own home turf without apparent consequences. Read it all.

NSA 'spied on India's US computers'

Two of the most important centres of Indian diplomacy outside that country — the Permanent Mission of India at the United Nations and the embassy in Washington, DC — were targets of the US National Security Agency (NSA), according to a NSA document obtained by The Hindu.
Since the NSA revelations began in June, U.S. President Obama and other top American officials have claimed that the surveillance activities were aimed exclusively at preventing terrorist attacks. More here.  [BJS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Grizzly aftermath

[From Aftermath]

Barack Obama's Diary: But I AM presidential...

Dear Diary: Whaaah! Everybody is bein' mean to Me. I try bein' nice to President Rouhani of Iran and I'm called naive. I know from vast experience as a kid in Indonesia  that you can stop people being nasty by bein' nice to them: a few poodle kebabs usually did the trick there. President Rouhani says Iran is not developin' nuclear weapons. Who am I to disbelieve him? I prefer givin' him the benefit of any doubt.
Next comes the problem of Samuel L. Jackson, who is sayin' that i should stop droppin'  Gs at the end of words in order to try soundin' like I relate to Joe Six Pack.  How dare he disparage My almost limitless education. 'Be presidential', he admonishes Me."  I am, tryin' Sam. I really  am. But enough about Me.

Samuel L. Jackson tells Obama 'be presidential'

 Samuel L. Jackson has some words of wisdom for President Obama when it comes to his deliberate dropping of “g’s” off the ends of words to seemingly sound like Joe Average.
“First of all, we know it ain’t because of his blackness, so I say stop trying to ‘relate.’  Be a leader.  Be f**king presidential,” Jackson told Playboy magazine. “Look, I grew up in a society where I could say ‘It ain’t’ or ‘What it be’ to my friends. But when I’m out presenting myself to the world as me, who graduated from college, who had family what cared about me, who has a well-read background, I f**king conjugate.”

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Obama 'staggeringly naive' on Iran

"Americans don’t generally eat mushy peas, a staple of British fish and chip shops. But US foreign policy under Barack Obama certainly resembles it" writes The Telegraph's Nile Gardiner.  "The president’s speech to the United Nations General Assembly on was as soggy as it gets...the overarching message he is sending is clear: the Obama administration is prepared to go to the negotiating table with a brutal regime that is the world’s biggest state sponsor of terrorism, and has been aggressively pursuing a nuclear weapons capability.
"Not only is this approach staggeringly naïve. It also send a dangerous signal that the world’s superpower is losing the will to stand up to rogue states, and opens up the possibility of the United States loosening sanctions on Iran. Obama’s words must have been music to the ears of the Mullahs, who continue to operate one of the most oppressive regimes in the world while trying to turn Iran into a regional nuclear power." Read it all. 

Obama, the Pharoah of Phony

Among influential U.S. political tweeters, President Barack Obama is the undisputed king of the fake followers. A MailOnline analysis ranks his sizable Twitter following as the most deceptive total among the 21 most influential accounts run by American politicians: More than 19.5 million of his 36.9 million Twitter followers are accounts that don't correspond to real people.
The four phoniest accounts in the sample, which included Democratic and Republican Party leaders in Washington, D.C., were those belonging to President Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, first lady Michelle Obama and the White House communications shop. Read more

Barack Obama's Diary: Corridors of power

Dear Diary: I have cunning plan in place  today to ensure that  I meet with  Iran's new President Hassan Rouhani. The guy has been playing hard to get, refusing to be tied down to  a specific time and place. He told reporters that  there were no formal arrangements but that we might  meet if we run into each other in the UN corridors.
And so it was that my cunning scheme was hatched. We would send a group of Secret Service agents to track Hassan Rouhani and  position me to ensure that we would meet in a corridor for a while so I can claim a significant diplomatic coup of the kind that NBC's Chuck Todd and Andrea Mitchell. will praise on the evening news. I had just had my last mouthful of two eggs over-easy and wholewheat toast, when the two-way radio of one of  my Secret Service detail crackled to life.  "Target on the move." My agent replied:  "10-4.. Renegade leaving now.  He took me by the upper arm and led me to the stairwell.  "One floor down, Mr President  and we should be perfectly  positioned to intercept President Rouhani"
I skipped lightly down the stairs as is my wont, into the passage below and immediately encountered President Rouhani and his entourage. We both stopped and weighed each other up.  "Greetings Al-Obama! said Rouhani whose head was wrapped in what appeared to be a white bandage. I spoke: "President Rouhani... I'm so sorry to see that you have injured your head."
 " Injured my head?" He pointed to his headwear. "This is my  traditional headcovering, al-Obama, not a bandage,"
I said: " Remember, President Rouhani, not to be aggressive when you address the General Assembly this afternoon,. The US doesn't do  pinpricks."
"You don't scare me," said Rouhani. "Putin said you're a  wuss. I agree." But enough about me.

SAS fighter saves 100 in mall siege

An off-duty member of Britain's elite Special Air Service [SAS] emerged as a hero of the Nairobi siege yesterday, credited with saving up to 100 lives. He is said to have returned to the building 12 times, despite intense gunfire. A friend in Nairobi said: ‘What he did was so heroic. He was having coffee with friends when it happened. Imagine going back in when you knew what was going on inside.’ He cannot be named for security reasons. British Special Forces regularly train and operate out of Kenya, and have been involved in tracking UK citizens involved with hardline Islamists in Somalia and Yemen. Read more.

ObamasCare

[From: Aftermath]

Barack Obama's Diary: Just my luck

Dear Diary: One thing I really like about my role as President  is the opportunity to bestow the riches of my vast knowledge on other leaders. And so it was during my meeting with President Jonathan Goodluck of Nigeria this morning, at the Waldorf Astoria. "Good Morning, President Goodluck," I said. "First of all, may I express my sincere condolences to you from the American people over the mall shootings. I suggest you require compulsory background checks for all those who want to buy  guns and also that you ban assault weapons."  A  momentary look of displeasure  flashed across President Goodluck's  face.
He replied: "First of all, I am President Goodluck Jonathan, not Jonathan Goodluck. Second of all, the mall shooting is in Kenya not Nigeria. Thirdly, any guns we have in Nigeria belong either to  the mass murderers of Christians, Boko Haram,  or our own Ummd Fosses."
 "Ummd Fosses?" I queried. "Yes Ummd Fosses", he repeated. "Fosses that are ummd with weapons."
" Oh, you mean armed forces." I said.
"Yes,"  said President Jonathan. "Ummd Fosses. Bozo"

The Good Old Days

[RK]

Reader in Colombes, Ile-de-France...

To the  loyal reader in Colombes, Ile-de-France. My Feedjit widget is designed to preserve reader anonymity and  only gives approximate location.  I am most curious to know what attracts you to the site and if you have any comments/ criticisms. Please don't feel obliged  to reply --  you are very welcome to remain anonymous. I much appreciate your  regular visits. My email is hughvw at gmail.com  --replace 'at' with @

Barack Obama's Diary: Day of the limping duck

Dear Diary: I think I'm going nuts. Is that a limping duck which I see before me, its beak towards my hand?  The polls are saying that, in the midterms in November, under my leadership, Democrats face the biggest loss to the Republicans since 1894. Hence my hallucinations of a lame duck. I can't even self medicate with weed because Dr Rink has threatened to have me  involuntarily "treated" in a hospital  [in other words fed tranquilizers and removed far from my secret stash of Maui Wowie.] Quaaack! Dr. Rink is such a  threat, that he should be classified as an AR15 assault shrink. But enough about me.

Pope decries abortion

Pope Francis has encouraged Catholic doctors to refuse to perform abortions, issuing a strong pro-life message after blasting at the church's obsession with "small-minded rules" that are driving the faithful away.
Francis appeared to be offering an olive branch to the more doctrine-minded, conservative wings of the church by citing Vatican teaching on defending the unborn, during an audience with Catholic gynecologists. More

Obama 'faces mid-term disaster'

The Telegraph's Nile Gardiner writes that the Obama presidency’s outlook is getting significantly worse, not better: "A new Gallup poll suggests the November mid-terms could result in the biggest victory for Republicans in the House since 1894. Gallup’s latest poll is absolutely devastating in its analysis of the Democrats’ prospects for November 2, projecting a 13 point lead for the Republicans based on higher overall turnout, and a staggering 18 point lead if turnout is low."  More     [ECS]

Cartoon: Pat Bagley

[Salt Lake Tribune]

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

9/21/13 Patient is highly agitated again, and is obsessing about his own staff calling him 'Obam-Me'. Personally, I think it's a highly appropriate nickname for someone who has a Grandiose Delusion and thus an exaggerated sense of their own importance. I strongly suspect that the moron has been self-medicating with Cannabis sativa, despite my warnings of the unpredictable side effects of weed when combined with an anti-psychotic.  I may have to  hospitalize patient involuntarily for a few days to remove him  from the source of temptation. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Cartoon: Gary Varvel

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary: Hip talk

Dear Diary:  I headed out to Fort Belvoir today for a round of golf with three of my usual partners, White House chef Sam Kass, trip director Marvin Nicholson, and aide Mike Brush. I  paused at the fourth hole, as is my habit, to call the Pentagon and order a drone strike against the next sumbitch  on my kill list. This is an example of my subtle gamesmanship, and intimidates my  golf partners. Talking of aides, which I am, some of my most trusted advisers , like Valerie Jarrett, say that I'm losing support among  some of the Millennials who are the bedrock  of my vote. Valerie thinks I should brush up my hip vocabulary. I agree, in fact, I think it's, like, an awesome idea. Back in Hawaii, in my choom gang, me and my fellow worshippers of weed  learned  never to trust anyone over the age of, like, 30. That was, like, an awesomely awesome way to live, dude.

Barack Obama's Diary: I, Myself, am not all about Me

Dear Diary: I am distraught. The writer Peggy Noonan who has been writing about Me  says that when My aides talk about Me, they often refer to Me as Oba-Me because I'm all about Me. I am the leader of the Free World, for goodness sake, what do they think I am-- chopped liver? I am not self-centered at all, I always listen to others so I can point out where their view differs from Mine and I can  show them the path to righteousness in My name's sake. Me and myself are obviously at the center of this Administration, I mean whose Administration is it but Mine? Perhaps Ms Noonan would prefer Me to use other languages like Ich, or Moi to refer to Myself. To Me she is an insulting person, but maybe that's just Me.

The real scandal of the Navy Yard killings

"Aaron Alexis had called police from a Newport, R.I., Marriott. He was hearing voices. Three people were following him, he told the cops. They were sending microwaves through walls, making his skin vibrate and preventing him from sleeping. He had already twice changed hotels to escape the men, the radiation, the voices. Delusions, paranoid ideation, auditory (and somatic) hallucinations: the classic symptoms of schizophrenia. So here is this panic-stricken soul, psychotic and in terrible distress. And what does modern policing do for him? The cops tell him to “stay away from the individuals that are following him.” Then they leave. But the three “individuals” were imaginary, for God’s sake. This is how a civilized society deals with a man in such a state of terror?" asks Charles Krauthammer, exposing the real scandal of the Navy Yard massacre.  More                {BJS]

Cartoon: Eric Allie

Cagle Cartoons

Dim Crims: Bungling burglar

A burglar who tried to break into an ATM at a bank in San Francisco was arrested Friday after he hopped onto the roof of a nearby building to escape and fell into an apartment, police said. The 230-pound suspect was not seriously injured. "There was a hole in the roof where he fell through just as we were ordering him to put his hands up," says a sergeant. The man used a crowbar to try to break into the ATM inside a Bank of America branch in the Portola neighborhood around 3:45am, say police. He apparently got in through a ventilation shaft, but tripped a silent alarm in the process.  More.      [BJS]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards  California Democrat official Allan Brauer who wished death on the children of a Ted Cruz aide.  More here

Dim Crims: Homeowner grabs robber's gun, shoots him

Philadelphia police say a homeowner wrestled a gun away from a would-be robber and shot him with it.
Police say two men entered the house wearing hoodies, both armed with handguns. The homeowner was able to get the gun away from one of the men and shot him. The men fled empty-handed, one leaving  a trail of blood down a nearby alleyway.

Barack Obama's Diary: Don't mess with me, GOP

Dear Diary:  I flew by Air Force One to Kansas City today and  before an audience of  burly auto workers who stamp  out truck panels for F150s, I scared the hell out of the GOP.  I drew myself up to my full height and excoriated Republicans  for trying to "mess with me."   In my mind's eye, as I bit off the words like bullets, I pictured prominent Republicans turning pale at the prospect of even thinking of  messing with the great Me. I can't blame them; it's a formidable prospect.
Late yesterday I took the dogs out on the South Lawn and threw a Frisbee for them while filling my lungs with Maui Wowie.  It worked just as I had hoped.  Unlike Dr Rink's medication which has been ineffective, the weed immediately calmed me down. The mices that had been dogging me, vanished to be replaced by my old buddy, the moose. "Don't mess with me Mr. Moose," I cautioned him. "I am  the legendary Barack Hussein Obama, Destroyer of Worlds." The moose sank onto his front knees like a camel, clearly hugely impressed and grateful to be in my presence, as he should be. But enough about me.

Starbucks Wi-Fi 'safer than Pentagon network'

Using the Wi-Fi connection at Starbucks was a better bet than risking putting confidential defence documents on a glitch-prone Pentagon computer network, a senior Defence Department official testified on Thursday at the Guantanamo trial of five prisoners charged with plotting the September 11 hijacked plane attacks. The Internet link at the local Starbucks was "the best bad option that we had," Air Force Colonel Karen Mayberry, the chief defence counsel for the war crimes tribunal, told the judge. More   [ECS]

Dim crims: Woman earns life for 6 DUIs

The first five times Rose Ann Davidson got busted for drunken driving, she managed to avoid lengthy prison sentences. Not so on No. 6: The Austin American-Statesman reports that a jury gave the 44-year-old San Marcos woman a life sentence yesterday. A police officer stopped her for erratic driving on Interstate 35, and the open container of beer in the car didn't help her case.  Details.

Hey, Pussy, Wussy

[Hope n'Change Cartoons]

Bark Obama's Bulletin: Doped up

Woof! Here we go again. My master is stressed as usual, and feels an urgent need to smoke dope, so Sunny and I are called outside by my master to pretend to chase after a Frisbee while he surreptitiously inhales a joint taken from his supply in a secret compartment in Resolute Desk. My master doesn't seem too pleased with what he says are "those damned scientists who change their minds about global warming faster than we can legislate, or even make executive orders..." Whatever that means. Woof! Woooohooo...

Barack Obama's Diary: everything up is down

Dear Diary:  What a strange world I now find myself in. Everything is upside down and back-to-front. A commission of 47 scientists has reported that climate change is a myth. The Australian government has even shut down its climate change bureaucracy. And all this after my brilliant investments in Solyndra, electric cars and energy efficiency. The latest mass shooting was not carried out with an assault weapon but  with a shotgun.  Meantime, Vlad Pootin seems to have a window into my  soul... he knows about my mices who are a secret between  me and my shrink, Dr. Rink. That reminds me, I must feed them. I have a special jar of peanut butter  and some crackers [not the crackers who can't dance] with which to feed them.  I have been so disturbed  by events that I may be suffering from PTSD. I see some Maui wowie from the secret compartment  in the Resolute desk, and some Frisbee throwing for Bo and Sunny in my future. But enough about me.

New study explodes climate change myth

A peer-reviewed climate change study released by the Nongovernmental International Panel on Climate Change finds the threat of man-made global warming to be not only greatly exaggerated but so small as to be “embedded within the background variability of the natural climate system” and not dangerous.
Armed with the new findings, Republicans on the House Energy and Commerce Committee grilled administration environmental policy officials about the economic consequences of its aggressive regulatory crackdown on the fossil fuel industry.
The 1,000 page study was the work of 47 scientists and scholars examining many of the same journals and studies that the United Nations International Panel on Climate Change examined, producing entirely different conclusions. More.

Cartoon: A.F.Branco

[From: Legal Insurrection]

Algore's climatic dysfunction

Add caption

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

 The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Professor Ghassan Zakaria of San Diego State University who presented his Arabic 101 class with a Middle East map  from which the state of Israel was completely gone, and in its place was "Palestine." Read more:       [ECS]

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

9/18/18 Patient has suffered a severe setback after learning that the GOP has announced a new  health care reform bill, cheaper and vastly more practical than ObamaCare. The three hallucinatory blind mice that he thought were following him around   morphed  into a high-kicking chorus line of visually-impaired rodents linking paws and  singing " One... singular sensation.."   I am  temporarily at a loss as to what to do with patient now that his paranoia has returned.  I was consulting with him when Vlad Putin called (Putin never misses a chance to twist the knife.)  "Obamavitch! He greeted patient loudly.  How do you like your new  meese?"
"Mouses, Vlad," patient replied. "Errr.. I mean mices. And what do you know about my mices?
"Bwaaaahh! ha! ha! said Putin.  " I've seen A Chorus Line,  Obamavitch, except I was not hallucinating."
Patient turned to me. "This is scary stuff, doctor, how does he know about my mices? "
I made comforting noises to patient and jabbed him with a shot of tranquilizer to calm the moron. I will return in the morning to reassess him. Mices?  The guy is nuts.---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D. 

GOP reveals plan to repeal, replace ObamaCare

The Republican Study Committee in the House of Representatives will unveil a health-care bill Wednesday to replace Obamacare. The bill, titled the Republican Study Committee’s American Health Care Reform Act, ”dramatically opens up options for families, and dramatically lowers costs” compared to the Obamacare law, committee chairman Louisiana Rep. Steven Scalise told The Daily Caller.
The 200-page budget-neutral bill would provide $20,000 in tax deductions to families and a $7,500 deduction to individuals, so they can buy insurance from vendors in any state. It would also allow Americans to keep the money they save by picking lower-cost providers. Read more:     [ECS]

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack.

9/17/13:  Patient's mental state is still progressing, though he is hallucinating three blind mice which he says his wife, Michelle is chasing, intent  on separating them from their tales with a carving knife. The Freudian implication of  mouse tails  is obvious; especially considering how often when Putin calls to show off his virility. Meantime, I intend to keep increasing patient's medication for as long as improvement continues.
---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.

Buffet blasts ObamaCare

Even Warren Buffett has soured on ObamaCare and says that "we need something else."
"Healthcare costs in the United States are like a tapeworm eating at our economic body.
"'We have a health system that, in terms of costs, is really out of control, and if you take this line and you project what has been happening into the future, we will get less and less competitive."  More.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

Navy gunman had clearance despite disturbing past

Aaron Alexis, the Navy veteran who gunned down 12 people at a Washington military facility, had his federal security clearance renewed just two months before his rampage, despite a disturbing history of psychological problems and violent behavior involving guns.  Read more: 

Barack Obama's Diary: Duck!

Dear Diary: It's been chaotic around here.   My shrink, Dr Rink, finally relented and gave me  a low-dose course of an anti-psychotic medication and it has worked. The damned moose that was following me everywhere has vanished, to replaced by three blind mice. The effects of paranoia are very strange. I was doing nicely with my recovery until some freak decided to hurl firecrackers  onto the North Lawn. I bravely lay down on the floor and covered my head with my hands until Valerie Jarrett came by and gave me permission to stand up.  But enough about me.

Progress notes: Patient 540463 OBAMA, Barack . . .(confidential)

9/16/13  It's too soon to confirm, but I think patient may be responding to the low dosage of Loxapine. I held a consultation in patient's private apartment with him stretched out on a sofa. "How have you been feeling?" I asked him. "Better?"
"The pesky Moose has finally gone," he said.
"That's an excellent development," I said. "Has it been replaced by anything?"
 He nodded. "By what?" I asked.
"Tiny mouses."
 "You mean mice?"
"Mice, Schmice...Whatever."
Just then we heard several loud bangs  from outside. The moron hurled himself onto the floor and lay prone, hands over his head, shaking. Moments later, Valerie Jarrett  knocked, ran in, and said: "Don't worry, Barry. Someone just threw some firecrackers on to the north lawn. Doctor, are those mice on the floor next to the President?"
 I'm starting to think that in the People's House they are all nuts. ----Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Nobel Piece Prize

[From Aftermath]

Oh Vlad, what big pecs you have

[Source]

ObamaCare wants your sex-life secrets

‘Are you sexually active? If so, with one partner, multiple partners or same-sex partners?”

Be ready to answer those questions and more the next time you go to the doctor, whether it’s the dermatologist or the cardiologist and no matter if the questions are unrelated to why you’re seeking medical help. And you can thank the Obama health law, reports The New York Post.

“This is nasty business,” says New York cardiologist Dr. Adam Budzikowski. He called the sex questions “insensitive, stupid and very intrusive.” He couldn't think of an occasion when a cardiologist would need such information — but he knows he’ll be pushed to ask for it. More here.  

Progress Notes for patient: 540463, OBAMA, Barack...... [confidential]

9/15/13 Patient presented as somewhat improved.  However, he is still clearly terrified of Vladimir Putin, to whom he attributes almost supernatural powers and patient still trembles when he discusses him. In truth, the only substantial difference between them is patients' extraordinary immaturity which leaves him unable  to think more than a step ahead or foresee possible setbacks or long-term consequences. I think it is time to try a mild anti-psychotic  medication to assess  its ability in reducing his paranoia. Patient  is convinced  that he is being shadowed by a moose with huge, accusing eyes.  This is weird, since patient has neither  encountered a moose, nor been north of the lower 48. Since I have psyched patient into cutting out marijuana, I think it's time to introduce the moron to a very low dose of Loxapine, increasing it gradually until there is no longer  any improvement, when the dose can be stabilized. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.

Barack Obama's Diary: An exceptional day

Dear Diary:  Revenge is sweet. Pootin called on my new, specially engraved  iPresidentiphone 5C this morning. He avoids our secure hotline because he likes to demonstrate that his encrytion/decryption team is always up to speed with any changes made by NSA.
"Good morning, Obamavitch," he said breezily, for it was indeed morning in D.C. "Feeling exceptionally American this morning? Haaaa!ha!ha!" There came the sound of a sigh  in the background and a woman declaring: "Is this a dagger which I see before me, its handle pointed toward my hand?" Pootin was clearly engaged in late-night frolicking with his Shakespearean actress at his weekend dacha outside Moscow. "Get a life, Obamavitch," he said,"You gotta get out more. You keep confusing defeat with victory.   For you, Obamavitch, Syria equals defeat."  By now I was trembling again-- Pootin is such a big bully. Fortunately, I will be seeing my shrink, Dr Rink, this evening. I have stayed off the weed, so I hope he'll be prescribing an anti-psychotic to get rid of my paranoia and the moose with eyes the size of saucers that is following me around. But enough about me.

Vlad Putin's Putin Putin first

[Political Clown Parade]

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

9/14/13:  Patient still paranoid,  now thinks everybody is laughing at him.
"How does that make you feel?" I asked.
"Like a moron," he replied.
"What if that were true?" I asked.
"That I'm a moron?"
"That people are laughing at you."
"Not possible," he said
"Why?"
"Because I am Barack Hussein Obama. I inspire awe, not humor"  ---Dictated By S.H Rink, M.D.

Sweet Tweet of the Week

David Burge‏@iowahawkblog

Oh yeah, Putin? If America isn't exceptional, name another country stupid enough to re-elect Obama

Assad, Putin outwit Obama

"Assad and his Russian backers played on Obama's most evident weakness, exploiting his desire to find a way -- any way -- out of military action. There was a threat of military force, but it was a weak and not entirely credible one, and this has only been further confirmed by the events of the last few weeks. Assad is still in power, prosecuting his war. Before the "deal," Assad had to at least worry about the possibility of military intervention and modulate his daily kill rate accordingly," writes Shadi Hamid  Read it all.   [BJS]

Baby-killer gets life without parole

 A Georgia teen convicted of fatally shooting a baby in a stroller has been  sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison with no chance of parole.
De'Marquise Elkins, 18, showed no emotion as he was sentenced in a courtroom less than two weeks after a jury found him guilty of murder in the slaying of 13-month-old Antonio Santiago during a robbery attempt.
The baby was in his stroller and out for a walk with his mother when he was shot between the eyes March 21 in the Georgia coastal city of Brunswick. West and a younger teenager charged as an accomplice testified at trial that Elkins killed the baby after his mother refused to give up her purse. Read more:

Signs of the times...

One of  LC's New York State correspondents, who lives in the  leftie, but tony, Westchester town of Katonah reports that he has seen increasing numbers of "Impeach Obama" signs around town.  [BJS]

Why Bumble Bam may start WWIII

 A Canadian foresees an Obama-born Apocalypse

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Wisecrack of the week...

Jay Leno says there's a new Obama Administration  reality show in development called Lame Duck Dynasty. 

Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

9/13/13 Patient's paranoia has not meaningfully receded.When I saw him in the early evening he was complaining about a sheep's eye that was following him everywhere, glaring at him. I took a blood sample for the lab to detect if patient was still self-medicating with weed. Hopefully, he will show no new consumption and I can put him on an anti-psychotic, stat, before he totally freaks out. I guess a sheep's eye is a small improvement over the  moose calf with saucer-sized eyes that we were dealing with yesterday--- Dictated by S.H. Rink M.D.

Barack Obama's Diary: Eye trouble

Dear Diary: Many people seem to think that I haven't handled Syria well. However today I got to do something I am  expert at and rightly famous for -- bowing to Eastern potentates. In this case it was the Emir of Kuwait.  We were  scheduled to have a bilateral meeting at lunchtime.  He is a  most imposing figure in his robes. I sank to my knees  before him and then prostrated myself on the floor and kissed his Gucci  shoes. "Honored Emir," I began, "I am your humble servant Barack  Hussein Obama and I am not worthy to touch the hem of your garment."   Unfortunately at just that moment Bo trotted into the room and lifted his leg on my  prostrate, defenseless body.  One of the Emir's aides hissed: " Unclean! Remove that canine immediately!" Joe Biden gamely stepped forward and removed Bo from sight.  I said: " We are having mutton for lunch, in your honor, Emir. I have been told that the guest of honor always gets the sheep's eyes. The Emir shook his head  and said: " Not in my family. I can't abide eyes. They burst in the mouth in the most repellent way. I gift the eyes to you and your Vice President.  And peace be unto you."
I said: "Thank you Emir, I am truly honored."  I ate my mutton as the eye looked up at me accusingly from the side of the plate, then I toyed with the eye until I could no longer delay eating it.  I popped it into my mouth and feigned delight. Then I raised a napkin to my lips and maneuvered the eye forward with my tongue into the folds of the cloth.  When I replaced the napkin on my knee, my grip on the the eye faltered and it  fell  out on to the carpet, where it  bounced, rolled, stopped and continued to glare at all of  us accusingly.  Awkwaaaard...  A passing waiter had the presence of mind to  subtly nudge the eye  out of view.  Another war averted. But enough about me.