1/31/14
Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.
1/31/14 Patient was looking wild-eyed today, which normally means that he has come off second-best in a verbal altercation with Vlad the Impaler. I have reintroduced patient to the concept of cognitive behavioral therapy which, put simply, is a psychotherapeutic approach that addresses dysfunctional emotions, maladaptive behaviors and cognitive processes. In patient's case it means learning to pluck at a rubber band around his right wrist and associate that sensation with a place of peace and tranquility from his youth. We had a lengthy session with some signs of reduced anxiety.
Barack Obama's Diary: Putin calling
Dear Diary: I fear that the Count Chocula cereal that I used to replace my morning Froot Loops, was making me a trifle reckless. I asked the kitchen to come up with something else. They did. And that is how I came to be eating Lucky Charms this fine Friday, when my specially engraved iPresidentophone burst into the masculine harmonies of the Moscow Steel Foundry Choir. "Hello, Vlad," I said, for it was he.
"Good morning, Obamavich. I looked up the word "piss" in my English-Russian dictionary and I was not amused by what I found. I was going to leave a phone message saying 'Piss off to you, too' but I decided that something more physical was required. Hence the cruise missile test NATO detected yesterday. I spoke: "I apologize for my disrespect Count Putin, Sir, and I will not repeat it."
"Good, Obamavich, any more disrespect and I will take you behind the woodshed at the next major summit meeting. Das vidanya, Obama." Scary man. But enough about me.
"Good morning, Obamavich. I looked up the word "piss" in my English-Russian dictionary and I was not amused by what I found. I was going to leave a phone message saying 'Piss off to you, too' but I decided that something more physical was required. Hence the cruise missile test NATO detected yesterday. I spoke: "I apologize for my disrespect Count Putin, Sir, and I will not repeat it."
"Good, Obamavich, any more disrespect and I will take you behind the woodshed at the next major summit meeting. Das vidanya, Obama." Scary man. But enough about me.
Dumb Slebs: Bieber plane held after dogs sniff pot
Justin Bieber’s personal plane — headed to New Jersey for the Super Bowl — was held at Teterboro Airport on Friday under suspicion it was carrying marijuana, law enforcement sources said.
Bieber and his pals had just arrived from Toronto when US Customs officials detected what was described as a strong odor of pot.
The plane, believed to be a twin-jet Raytheon Hawker 800, was ordered held until drug-sniffing dogs could check it out.
A Customs and Border Protection dog subsequently indicated marijuana was in two pieces of luggage, sources said. A second dog, from the Port Authority Police, also indicated pot in two pieces of luggage. [Source]
Bieber and his pals had just arrived from Toronto when US Customs officials detected what was described as a strong odor of pot.
The plane, believed to be a twin-jet Raytheon Hawker 800, was ordered held until drug-sniffing dogs could check it out.
A Customs and Border Protection dog subsequently indicated marijuana was in two pieces of luggage, sources said. A second dog, from the Port Authority Police, also indicated pot in two pieces of luggage. [Source]
Joke of the Day...
After worship one Sunday, a shy and absent-minded pastor was approached by the president of his church's Ladies' Aid Society. "Would you give a talk at our next meeting?" the president inquired.
"On what subject?" he asked.
She leaned over and whispered, "Sex."
"Oh, my," he said. "Well...I guess so."
As a reminder, the pastor wrote a large red S on a prayer card and put it into his suit pocket.
Two days later, his wife found the card while preparing his suit for the cleaner's. "What's this?" she asked.
"Oh, that's to remind me about my talk for the Ladies' Aid Society," replied the pastor. "It's about, uh...sailing."
His wife gave him a puzzled glance. Two weeks later, the president of the Ladies' Aid Society ran into the pastor's wife at the grocery store.
"Your husband gave such a wonderful talk last week!" the president said. "It was a delight to hear a man who knows his subject so well."
"That's strange," said the pastor's wife. "As far as I know he's only tried it twice. The first time, his hat blew off, and the second time, he got sick." --TD
"On what subject?" he asked.
She leaned over and whispered, "Sex."
"Oh, my," he said. "Well...I guess so."
As a reminder, the pastor wrote a large red S on a prayer card and put it into his suit pocket.
Two days later, his wife found the card while preparing his suit for the cleaner's. "What's this?" she asked.
"Oh, that's to remind me about my talk for the Ladies' Aid Society," replied the pastor. "It's about, uh...sailing."
His wife gave him a puzzled glance. Two weeks later, the president of the Ladies' Aid Society ran into the pastor's wife at the grocery store.
"Your husband gave such a wonderful talk last week!" the president said. "It was a delight to hear a man who knows his subject so well."
"That's strange," said the pastor's wife. "As far as I know he's only tried it twice. The first time, his hat blew off, and the second time, he got sick." --TD
Delays are are killing vets
U.S. veterans are dying because of delays in diagnosis and treatment at VA hospitals.
At least 19 veterans have died because of delays in simple medical screenings like colonoscopies or endoscopies, at various VA hospitals or clinics, CNN has learned.
That's according to an internal document from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, obtained exclusively by CNN, that deals with patients diagnosed with cancer in 2010 and 2011.
Hospital delays are killing war vets
The veterans were part of 82 vets who have died or are dying or have suffered serious injuries as a result of delayed diagnosis or treatment for colonoscopies or endoscopies. [Source] BJS
At least 19 veterans have died because of delays in simple medical screenings like colonoscopies or endoscopies, at various VA hospitals or clinics, CNN has learned.
That's according to an internal document from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, obtained exclusively by CNN, that deals with patients diagnosed with cancer in 2010 and 2011.
Hospital delays are killing war vets
The veterans were part of 82 vets who have died or are dying or have suffered serious injuries as a result of delayed diagnosis or treatment for colonoscopies or endoscopies. [Source] BJS
The 'Affordable' Care Act in action
News footage captures despair on the faces of employees of a small business — the heartbeat of America’s economy – when they learn how the Affordable Care Act will impact their group health insurance plan.
ABC affiliate WTAE-TV was there when a company insurance agent handed the owner and employees of Simonetta’s Collision Repair Center their new benefits sheets and premium costs.
“They call it the ‘Affordable Health Plan.’ says one."There’s nothing affordable about it."
ABC affiliate WTAE-TV was there when a company insurance agent handed the owner and employees of Simonetta’s Collision Repair Center their new benefits sheets and premium costs.
“They call it the ‘Affordable Health Plan.’ says one."There’s nothing affordable about it."
Joke of the Day...
Our Vermont contributor RK: sends this:
"I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he
said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 65).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?''I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!''Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said,..
'Then, why do you even give a sh1t?
"I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he
said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 65).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?''I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!''Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said,..
'Then, why do you even give a sh1t?
Global warming: Snowstorm traps Hawaii hiker
A New York man has been as rescued by helicopter after spending two frigid nights on the slopes of Mauna Loa when his hike was interrupted by a snowstorm. Alex Sverdlov, 36, began the 18-mile trek to the volcano’s summit on Sunday. According to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park spokeswoman Jessica Ferracane, he spent that night at the Red Hill cabin located at the 10,000-foot elevation, and Monday night at the Mauna Loa cabin near the summit. BJS
1/30/14
Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.
1/30/14: I have been concerned that patient might revert to self-medication after his return from Hawaii, since I assume that he would not have returned empty-handed from the Isles of Choom. The moron thinks that his stash in a hidden compartment in the Resolute Desk is secret, but Valerie Jarrett checks it regularly so she can alert me when a joint is missing and I can expect an imminent increase in his paranoia. When I arrived for today's consultation I found him trembling and curled up in a fetal position on the hideous brown sofa in his private family apartment. "Doctor," he said, I have done something horribly ill-advised. When Putin called, before my SOTU address, I had just eaten a very generous bowl of Count Chocula cereal and, thus emboldened, I told Putin to "Piss off." If he had replaced Count Chocula with Blueberry YumYum [a potent hybrid cannabis from Hawaii] the story would have been much nearer to the truth. "Doctor, Putin is not a man to mess around with," patient said plaintively." What shall I do? "Take one of these twice daily," I said, handing him a script for 14 Ativan. "...and keep off the weed. It will just worsen your anxiety."
I stopped at Valerie Jarrett's office on the way out to update her on patient's progress or lack of it.. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink. M.D.
I stopped at Valerie Jarrett's office on the way out to update her on patient's progress or lack of it.. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink. M.D.
Romney redux?
According to a Boston Globe poll in New Hampshire: In a hypothetical 2016 presidential field, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney would be the front-runner in the Granite State GOP primary field, with 25 percent of the vote. Behind Romney are Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, at 18 percent, then New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, at 17 percent, and former Florida governor Jeb Bush, at 13 percent.
"Romney has been emphatic that he’s not running again. But who knows? asks Keith Koffler of White House Dossier. The third time was the charm for Ronald Reagan. [Source]
"Romney has been emphatic that he’s not running again. But who knows? asks Keith Koffler of White House Dossier. The third time was the charm for Ronald Reagan. [Source]
Groan of the Day...
KPCC reporter Alice Walton has reported via Twitter that Sandra Fluke, the activist notorious for testifying to Congress that insurers should provide women with no-cost contraceptives, is 'strongly considering' a run for retiring Congressman Henry Waxman's seat. "I’m flattered that I’m being discussed as a potential candidate," she told KPCC. "A number of folks I respect very deeply have reached out today and encouraged me to run."
Best. Obituary. Ever.
Obituary from the Geenwich, CT, paper this week. The abridged version:
Leonard Mason Smith, 86, a veteran of World War II and Korea and longtime
resident of Pine Island, Florida passed away on November 27th, 2013.
Leonard Smith hated pointless bureaucracy, thoughtless inefficiency and bad
ideas born of good intentions. He loved his wife, admired and respected his
children and liked just about every dog he ever met. He will be greatly missed
by those he loved and those who loved him. In lieu of flowers, the family asks
that you cancel your subscription to The New York Times.
Published in GreenwichTime.com on Jan. 26, 2014 [BJS]
Leonard Mason Smith, 86, a veteran of World War II and Korea and longtime
resident of Pine Island, Florida passed away on November 27th, 2013.
Leonard Smith hated pointless bureaucracy, thoughtless inefficiency and bad
ideas born of good intentions. He loved his wife, admired and respected his
children and liked just about every dog he ever met. He will be greatly missed
by those he loved and those who loved him. In lieu of flowers, the family asks
that you cancel your subscription to The New York Times.
Published in GreenwichTime.com on Jan. 26, 2014 [BJS]
You didn't bake that....
A day after a local newspaper ran a story about the young and ambitious Chloe Stirling, who operated a cupcake business out of her parents’ kitchen, the local health department came calling.
“They called and said they were shutting us down,” Heather Stirling, Chloe’s mother, told The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Officials told Stirling Chloe could continue selling cupcakes on the condition that the family “buy a bakery or build her a kitchen separate from the one we have.”
“Obviously, we can’t do that,” Heather Stirling told reporters. “We’ve already given her a little refrigerator to keep her things in, and her grandparents bought her a stand mixer.”
The elder Stirling said that she was willing to get her daughter any necessary licenses or permits to operate a business, but could not meet the health department’s other demands.
“A separate kitchen? Who can do that?” asked an astonished Stirling. Read more here and here [ECS]
“They called and said they were shutting us down,” Heather Stirling, Chloe’s mother, told The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Officials told Stirling Chloe could continue selling cupcakes on the condition that the family “buy a bakery or build her a kitchen separate from the one we have.”
“Obviously, we can’t do that,” Heather Stirling told reporters. “We’ve already given her a little refrigerator to keep her things in, and her grandparents bought her a stand mixer.”
The elder Stirling said that she was willing to get her daughter any necessary licenses or permits to operate a business, but could not meet the health department’s other demands.
“A separate kitchen? Who can do that?” asked an astonished Stirling. Read more here and here [ECS]
Grassroots have Obama figured out
Rebel Pundit interviewed a small group of poor black men and women in Chicago on what they thought of the SOTU and Obama. The result may surprise you:
1/29/14
Gay rights activist on child porn charge
[Warning: graphic language] Larry Brinkin, who worked at the Human Rights Commission for the City of San Francisco for 22 years and was a prominent homosexual rights activist for more than 40 years, has pleaded guilty to felony child pornography possession.
Brinkin is expected to serve six months in jail, five years of probation, and register as a sex offender for the rest of his life when he is sentenced on Mar. 5. According to police, as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle and SF Weekly, Brinkin had photographic images of children between the ages of 1 and 3 who were being sodomized and forced to perform oral sex on adult men. [More here]
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Brinkin is expected to serve six months in jail, five years of probation, and register as a sex offender for the rest of his life when he is sentenced on Mar. 5. According to police, as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle and SF Weekly, Brinkin had photographic images of children between the ages of 1 and 3 who were being sodomized and forced to perform oral sex on adult men. [More here]
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Progress Notes for Patient No. 540463, OBAMA , Barack, H.
My profession can be very frustrating. I have treated patient for Narcissistic Personality Disorder for a couple of months now. Last night during his SOTU address, to keep myself awake, I counted the number of times patient referred to himself during his State of the Union address:
“I” 50 times.
“My” 11 times
“As president” 2 times.
“I” 50 times.
“My” 11 times
“As president” 2 times.
1/28/14
Academia nuts hold Sex Week
University of Tennessee, a public school, has announced the schedule for its second annual Sex Week, complete with a lectures on orgasms as a political act and masturbation.
One event, “Get Wet: Exploring the Connections Between Sexual Pleasure, Health, & Advocacy” will ask students “When is an orgasm a political act? When is lube a tool of the revolution?” The event description promises that host Megan Andelloux will "demonstrate how three components of sexuality - pleasure, health, and advocacy - flow into one another as we explore a variety of topics centered on reproductive justice and sexual freedom."
The event will also inform students “which sexual health issues are involved in back-door lovin', why you should care about sex workers' rights, and how you can defend your own sexual freedom through self-love.” [Source] ECS
One event, “Get Wet: Exploring the Connections Between Sexual Pleasure, Health, & Advocacy” will ask students “When is an orgasm a political act? When is lube a tool of the revolution?” The event description promises that host Megan Andelloux will "demonstrate how three components of sexuality - pleasure, health, and advocacy - flow into one another as we explore a variety of topics centered on reproductive justice and sexual freedom."
The event will also inform students “which sexual health issues are involved in back-door lovin', why you should care about sex workers' rights, and how you can defend your own sexual freedom through self-love.” [Source] ECS
Barack Obama's Diary: My time to shine
Dear Diary: Valerie Jarrett has given me permission to say in my State of the Union address tonight that Americans are "hungry" for me to take unilateral action, bypassing Congress wherever I can to get things done. This is plain common sense, of course. The brightest among us always knows what's best for all of us. And I am the sharpest knife in the drawer. I am all about action, so if Congress stands in my way, I will take action on my own, bypassing Congress, as I see fit.
I had a generous bowl of Count Chocula this morning to fire me up for the day. It acted quickly. As I was munching the last of the delicious vampire nuggets, Putin called. The strains of the Moscow Steel Foundry Male-voice Choir alerted me, as usual. I fingered the green virtual button on the screen of my iPresidentophone and raised it to my ear. "Obamavich? Came the familiar voice. Vladimir here...."
"Piss off, Count Putin", I said and disconnected. It felt glorious to mock him, just as it will be orgasmic to defy the GOP tonight.
I had a generous bowl of Count Chocula this morning to fire me up for the day. It acted quickly. As I was munching the last of the delicious vampire nuggets, Putin called. The strains of the Moscow Steel Foundry Male-voice Choir alerted me, as usual. I fingered the green virtual button on the screen of my iPresidentophone and raised it to my ear. "Obamavich? Came the familiar voice. Vladimir here...."
"Piss off, Count Putin", I said and disconnected. It felt glorious to mock him, just as it will be orgasmic to defy the GOP tonight.
Joke of the Day
A man in a Florida supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. When man persisted, the boy said he'd ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
The manager said to the boy: 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Canada, sir,' the boy replied.
'Well, why did you leave Canada?' the manager asked. The boy said: 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up
there.'
The manager said: 'My wife is from Canada.'
'Really?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'
[RK]
The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. When man persisted, the boy said he'd ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
The manager said to the boy: 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Canada, sir,' the boy replied.
'Well, why did you leave Canada?' the manager asked. The boy said: 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up
there.'
The manager said: 'My wife is from Canada.'
'Really?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'
[RK]
1/27/14
Barack Obama's Diary:
Dear Diary: I have been immersed in preparations for my SOTU speech tomorrow, huddled in the Oval Office with Valerie Jarrett. For months now we have been looking for ways to "persuade" the CEOs of large companies to hire more of the long-term unemployed. Valerie has been working the phones recently, talking to CEOs and their human resources managers. "We see you have a fine record of corporate citizenship and good records with the IRS. We wouldn't want anything to damage your stature, now would we? Employing more of the long-term unemployed would encourage the IRS to look most favorably upon you. " The reaction to these calls has been noticeable, with a visible uptick in hiring of those who have prolonged periods out of work.
DEA chief slams Obama over pot claims
The head of the federal Drug Enforcement Administration is now openly criticizing Barack Obama for his recent comments over the question of marijuana legalization, according to multiple reports.
The Boston Herald reports it has sources who heard DEA chief Michele Leonhart "slam" Obama at last week's National Sheriffs' Association winter meeting in Washington. The Herald reports the sheriffs in Bristol County, Massachusetts, and Kern County, California, both reported that Leonhart was critical of the president's claim that marijuana's affects are no different than alcohol's. Here's an excerpt:
Kern County sheriff Donny Youngblood told the Herald Leonhart received a "standing ovation" from the law enforcement agents at the convention.
The Boston Herald reports it has sources who heard DEA chief Michele Leonhart "slam" Obama at last week's National Sheriffs' Association winter meeting in Washington. The Herald reports the sheriffs in Bristol County, Massachusetts, and Kern County, California, both reported that Leonhart was critical of the president's claim that marijuana's affects are no different than alcohol's. Here's an excerpt:
Bristol County Sheriff Thomas M. Hodgson said he was thrilled to hear the head of the Drug Enforcement Administration take her boss to tas“She’s frustrated for the same reasons we are,” Hodgson said. “She said she felt the administration didn’t understand the science enough to make those statements. She was particularly frustrated with the fact that, according to her, the White House participated in a softball game with a pro-legalization group. But she said her lowest point in 33 years in the DEA was when she learned they’d flown a hemp flag over the Capitol on July 4. The sheriffs were all shocked. This is the first time in 28 years I’ve ever heard anyone in her position be this candid.”
Kern County sheriff Donny Youngblood told the Herald Leonhart received a "standing ovation" from the law enforcement agents at the convention.
Obama woos millennials as they bail on O-care
President Obama is making a sudden push to win back millennial voters, who have grown disillusioned over his failed “Hope and Change” campaign that left them without jobs, living in their parents’ basement. Even though he has run his last race, the president needs the 18-to-34 age group to make his signature Obamacare policy work. Without them, the whole system falls apart — not tomorrow, today, right now, before the radical reform of U.S. health care can even get off the ground. Just how bad is it? Just 24 percent of the new enrollees to Obamacare are between 18 and 34. The entire plan was predicated on a sign-up rate of nearly 40 percent, the idea being that healthy young people will pay more — much more — than they once did to offset the unhealthy elderly signing up for Obamacare. Read more: [ECS]
Homophilic Obama invites gay player to SOTU
When President Obama gives the State of the Union address, Tuesday, among his guests, who include Boston marathon bombing victims and the fire chief from Moore, Oklahoma, will be Jason Collins, the former NBA center who came out as gay earlier this year. Collins will sit in the President's box with First Lady Michelle Obama. President Obama congratulated Collins on coming out at the time, explaining, “I couldn’t be prouder of him."
Dim Crims: Imbecile robs store
SC, our Brazil correspondent, sends this video, with explanatory yellow subtitles, of a Brazilian Dim Crim in action --as imbecilic as his US counterparts.
Bloody Kim massacres relatives
North Korea ruler Kim Jong-un has reportedly ordered that all blood relatives of his executed uncle be put to death, continuing an apparent purge of all he sees as threats to his reign. South Korea's Yonhap News Agency, citing multiple sources, reported Sunday that "extensive executions" of relatives of Jang Song-thaek had been carried out. "All relatives of Jang have been put to death, including even children," one source told Yonhap. [source]
1/26/14
Barack Obama's Diary: Deflatin' Mitt
Dear Diary: I am beyond furious. That rat Romney has been going around saying that Putin is outperforming me on the world stage. Of course Romney isn't party to the devastating rebuffs I deliver to Putin daily whenever he calls seeking my counsel, addressing me with the affectionate nickname "Obamavich." I'll bet lotsa rubles that Mitt has never been honored with the nickname Mittvich.
By an odd coincidence my mobile phone at that very moment sounded a dirge from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir [or Motab to us cognoscenti] which I had set as Mitt's ringtone the night he lost to me. "Mitt," I said, for it was he, "What can I do for you, other than accepting your apology for your slanderous remarks about me and Putin?"
"Barack. I have a question for you. I had a call this morning from a man calling me Mittvich and claiming to be Vlad Putin. Is he for real?"
" Mittvich is Russian for moron, " I said. If you hear from him again, Mitt, just hang up." Heh-heh,
Problem solved.
By an odd coincidence my mobile phone at that very moment sounded a dirge from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir [or Motab to us cognoscenti] which I had set as Mitt's ringtone the night he lost to me. "Mitt," I said, for it was he, "What can I do for you, other than accepting your apology for your slanderous remarks about me and Putin?"
"Barack. I have a question for you. I had a call this morning from a man calling me Mittvich and claiming to be Vlad Putin. Is he for real?"
" Mittvich is Russian for moron, " I said. If you hear from him again, Mitt, just hang up." Heh-heh,
Problem solved.
Putin 'outperforming Obama', says Mitt
Mitt Romney thinks Vladimir Putin is better at being president than Barack Obama.
Romney, who lost the presidential race to Obama, told NBC that the Russian leader “outperformed” the president “time and time again on the world stage."
[Source]
Romney, who lost the presidential race to Obama, told NBC that the Russian leader “outperformed” the president “time and time again on the world stage."
[Source]
Dim Crims: What kind of fuel am I ?
ANTI-FRACKING protesters who glued and chained themselves to fuel pumps in Bolton, England, over the weekend were at the wrong gas station, it has emerged. Four people were arrested after anti-fracking protesters used glue and bicycle locks to attach themselves to fuel pumps. The group had chosen to base the protest next to a Total station after the French firm announced it would be investing more than £12 million in the UK’s shale gas industry. [Source] [BJS]
1/25/14
Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.
01/25/14: Events have taken a strange turn. Patient has suddenly become convinced that he needs to appeal more to the 18-25 demographic. He has taken to doing karaoke-style performances of Justin Bieber songs... Oh baybuh, baybuh, baybuh, etc., [rinse and repeat] Valerie Jarrett is over the moon with this and thinks that if a few video clips are deliberately leaked, it will help to draw the young to Obamacare which they have so far completely ignored. That may be so, but during my consultation today, patient was still showing classic symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder-- which can be summarized as "Me, Me, Me, Me" ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.
Barack Obama's Diary: Glad-handing Vlad
Dear Diary: I was filled with expectation upon waking today, the first morning that I would be having Count Chocula cereal instead of Froot Loops. I emptied a generous portion into my bowl and added some milk. I scooped up a spoonful and chewed. There was a satisfying series of crunching sounds, like someone walking down a gravel driveway. Almost immediately my iPresidentophone blared forth the harmonies of the Moscow Steel Foundry Male Voice Choir. "Good Morning Vlad," I said cheerily, for it was he. "Found any black widows today? Bwaaaahahaha! The richness and power of my gloating laugh surprised even me. The Count Chocula was doing its job, filling me with energy and self-confidence. Putin wanted to know if there had been any progress with the Pentagon brass allowing Russia to borrow our newest bomb detectors for the Sochi Olympics."I suggest you call the Pentagon," I said. "I have a drag-race to organize." That is true. Valerie Jarrett thinks a Justin Bieber-style street race between me and Joe Biden would do wonders for our standing among the 18-24 demographic. But enough about me.
1/24/14
Dim Crims: How not to rob a pizza guy
Police in Tuscaloosa say a 20-year-old man robbed a pizza delivery driver after phoning in the order from his own address. The driver says he showed up at the home, knocked, and got immediately surrounded by armed men who stole his money and pizzas. Police canvassed the neighborhood armed with descriptions, and people kept pointing them back to the original house. Inside they found 20-year-old Michael Antonio Long, the stolen pizzas, and even the bag they came in. More arrests are expected to follow. [BJS]
Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.
01/24/14: Patient was in an unusually silly mood when I arrived for my scheduled consultation. He and Joe Biden were sitting in the Oval Office, giggling, with tears streaming down their faces. Patient said: "You don't approve of weed so I made something that's Bieber-awesome: Purple Drank, Sizzurp whatever you wanna call it, doctor dude."
"I'll come back this evening when you have recovered your senses, I said, unamused "You may have time to waste, but I don't." There was a renewed explosion of giggles as I turned on my heel and left. I stopped at Valerie Jarrett's office on my way out, explained the situation and suggested she remove any soda, Skittles and cough syrup from Moron's environment. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
Barack Obama's Diary: Cereal killer
Dear Diary: I have had to deal with an emergency today. After my discovery that Froot Loops all taste the same, I resolved immediately to find a non-Kellogs cereal worthy of daily consumption by the man with world's finest brain. I instructed my chef and my golf buddy, Sam Kass, to come up with a cereal that would satisfy my demanding, sophisticated palate. He quickly found a worthy candidate: Count Chocula, a chocolate-flavored cereal made by General Mills. Bwaaahahahahaaa! Just the thing to fortify my resolve before Vladimir Putin calls at breakfast time, which he invariably does. But enough about me.
Times editor: Obama admin. is 'most secretive ever'
New York Times editor Jill Abramson says the Obama administration is "the most secretive" she has ever had to contend with.
Speaking to Al Jazeera's John Seigenthaler, Abramson pointed to the administration's unprecedented number of leak investigations:
"It is the most secretive White House that I have ever been involved in covering...I dealt directly with the Bush White House when they had concerns that stories we were about to run put the national security under threat. But, you know, they were not pursuing criminal leak investigations. The Obama administration has had seven criminal leak investigations. That is more than twice the number of any previous administration in our history. It's on a scale never seen before. This is the most secretive White House that, at least as a journalist, I have ever dealt with.
She added that the decision to be so aggressive towards the press "would have to" come directly from President Obama himself. [More] BJS
Speaking to Al Jazeera's John Seigenthaler, Abramson pointed to the administration's unprecedented number of leak investigations:
"It is the most secretive White House that I have ever been involved in covering...I dealt directly with the Bush White House when they had concerns that stories we were about to run put the national security under threat. But, you know, they were not pursuing criminal leak investigations. The Obama administration has had seven criminal leak investigations. That is more than twice the number of any previous administration in our history. It's on a scale never seen before. This is the most secretive White House that, at least as a journalist, I have ever dealt with.
She added that the decision to be so aggressive towards the press "would have to" come directly from President Obama himself. [More] BJS
1/23/14
ObamaCare: reporters become the story
After months of hype and hysteria, insurance policies purchased under the Affordable Care Act went into effect on New Year’s Day, and journalists have largely pivoted from writing about the problems of HealthCare.gov to how the law is actually working for consumers.
Some journalists don’t have to look very far. Charles Ornstein writes: "Back in December, I wrote about Missouri public radio reporter Harum Helmy, who earned too much for her state’s Medicaid program and too little to qualify for a subsidy that would have offset the cost of an insurance policy on Healthcare.gov. “I know — an uninsured health reporter,” she wrote to me. “The joke’s not lost on me.” Since then, reporters across the country have been telling their stories—and they seem to square with the broader experiences of the public. [Source] [BJS]
Some journalists don’t have to look very far. Charles Ornstein writes: "Back in December, I wrote about Missouri public radio reporter Harum Helmy, who earned too much for her state’s Medicaid program and too little to qualify for a subsidy that would have offset the cost of an insurance policy on Healthcare.gov. “I know — an uninsured health reporter,” she wrote to me. “The joke’s not lost on me.” Since then, reporters across the country have been telling their stories—and they seem to square with the broader experiences of the public. [Source] [BJS]
Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.
1/23/14: I had arranged for a morning consultation with Patient, which I immediately regretted upon entering the Oval office. He was sitting at the Resolute desk with rows of Froot Loops cereal in front of him, carefully arranged by color. Uh-oh I thought. I'm going have to add Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to his multiple mental issues. He was nibbling at each color and smacking his lips. "Bastard capitalists" he cried, "they have been cheating me for years. All the colors do indeed taste the same."
"You have my sympathy Majesty," I said soothingly, and with some relief. It seems that all I have to deal with is the familiar paranoia and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
"You have my sympathy Majesty," I said soothingly, and with some relief. It seems that all I have to deal with is the familiar paranoia and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
Bieber beclowns self, lands in jail
Justin Bieber was charged with drunken driving, [update: and resisting arrest and driving without a valid license] after police saw the loathsome little twerp street racing Thursday morning.
Bieber, 19, was booked into a Miami jail after failing a sobriety test, Miami Beach Police Chief Raymond Martinez told reporters.
Bieber "made some statements that he had consumed some alcohol, and that he had been smoking marijuana and consumed some prescription medication," Martinez said.
A Miami Beach officer saw Bieber driving a yellow Lamborghini in a race against a red Ferrari in a residential area of Miami Beach, Martinez said. The cars were speeding at about 55 to 60 mph in a 30 mph zone, he said.
Catalog of corruption
Former Virginia Governor, Republican Robert McDonnell and his wife Maureen have been indicted on federal corruption charges for taking $160,000 from a dietary supplement company they allegedly helped politically. The 43-page indictment documents the birth of a sugar daddy and the attempted cover up —click here for the sorry highlights. [RK]
Barack Obama's Diary: Looping the loops
Dear Diary: While I was eating my usual bowl of Froot Loops this morning, I learned a most unsettling fact from NBC's Today show, Apparently, all Froot Loops have the same flavor, whatever the color. Here am I, one of the world's great intellects, being duped by the cunning capitalists at Kellogs into decorating the edge of my bowl with Democrat blue loops and then biting down with extra relish on the GOP red loops. Clearly, we need legislation to regulate inequality of flavor. But enough about me.
Dumb Slebs: Bieber in jail
Singer Justin Bieber was arrested early Thursday for drag racing and DUI in Miami Beach, police said. Bieber, who was in a rented Lamborghini, was pulled over in the area around 4am, along with another car, police said. He failed a sobriety test at the scene and was taken into custody, Hernandez said. The other driver was also arrested. No one was injured. Bieber is expected to be booked into the Miami-Dade County Jail later.
1/22/14
Socialist medicine in action
More than half a million Swedes now have private health insurance, a new review from industry organization Swedish Insurance () says. In eight out of ten cases, the person's employer had offered them the private insurance deal.
"It's quicker to get a colleague back to work if you have an operation in two weeks' time rather than having to wait for a year," privately insured Anna Norlander told Sveriges Radio. "It's terrible that I, as a young person, don't feel I can trust the health care system to take care of me." The insurance plan guarantees that she can see a specialist within four working days, and get a time for surgery, if needed, within 15. [Source] [BJS]
"It's quicker to get a colleague back to work if you have an operation in two weeks' time rather than having to wait for a year," privately insured Anna Norlander told Sveriges Radio. "It's terrible that I, as a young person, don't feel I can trust the health care system to take care of me." The insurance plan guarantees that she can see a specialist within four working days, and get a time for surgery, if needed, within 15. [Source] [BJS]
Dim Crims: Man posts own mugshot, gets arrested
The Freeland, Philadelphia, police department initially posted Anthony James Lescowitch's mugshot online, asking anyone with knowledge of his whereabouts to alert authorities. Lescowitch promptly shared the mugshot and mocked police on his Facebook page ... and was arrested 45 minutes later. [Source] [BJS]
Barack Obama's Diary: Putin on the pressure
"I regret that I was a little hasty in agreeing to send them," I replied, "the Pentagon doesn't want them reverse-engineered by you guys."
"You have two very nice warships, in the Black Sea," said Vlad."By coincidence we have several hunter-killer submarines there also.We don't want a nasty accident, do we, Obamavich?"
"I'll ask permission from Valerie Jarrett, phone the Pentagon, then get back to you." Scary man, that Vlad, thank goodness I'm always a step ahead of him. But enough about me.
1/21/14
Outrageous: 1 in 5 households on foodstamps
Obamanomics in Action: - A record 20% of American households, one in five, were on food stamps in 2013, according to data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
The numbers also show there was a record number of individuals on food stamps in 2013 and that the cost of the program, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), was at an all-time high.
The USDA says that there were 23,052,388 households on food stamps in the average month of fiscal 2013, an increase of 722,675 from fiscal year 2012, when there were 22,329,713 households on food stamps in the average month. See more. [ECS]
The numbers also show there was a record number of individuals on food stamps in 2013 and that the cost of the program, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), was at an all-time high.
The USDA says that there were 23,052,388 households on food stamps in the average month of fiscal 2013, an increase of 722,675 from fiscal year 2012, when there were 22,329,713 households on food stamps in the average month. See more. [ECS]
Barack Obama's Diary: Putin asks a favor
"And how can I be of help this wintry morning?"
"Obamavich, I am asking a favor. We wish to deploy one of your new American devices at Sochi, the device that detects hidden explosives.
"I will have to consult my senior military advisers, Vlad, but it sounds feasible. What's in it for us?
"The return of Edvard Snowdenovich, Obamavich. That will enhance your approval rating, no?"
"What are you implying ,Vlad? I am never influenced by opinion polls." I heard a muffled snorting and Putin bade a cheerful goodbye as I punched out Admiral McMullen's private number.
Bush derangement syndrome
Our man in Australia sends this gem of leftist logic:
"The Guardian’s Emer O’Toole returns to a subject she apparently finds compelling and tells us:
"The capitalist drive to convince us that female body hair is unnatural and unclean has been alarmingly successful. The removal industry is worth millions, and uncountable women are ashamed of and distressed by their post-pubescent hair."
Sadly, Ms O’Toole doesn’t pause to ponder how an industry generally becomes successful – say, by offering a product that people are willing to pay for, having made a choice and sought out said product. This being a Guardian article, its basic tone is patronising and womenfolk are once again assumed to be mere dupes, entirely at the mercy of diabolical forces and trembling with insecurities. And so readers are presented with a cloud of implications involving “greedy” industries, sheepish consumers and the shame and distress wrought by pubic hair. A kind of false consciousness for the underpants area, from which one must “wake up,” and in which feelings of inadequacy are “heaped on hairy privates” by persons unknown.
While many details of this drama are left oddly undefined or simply ignored – among them, the agency of the people buying hair-removal products - readers are, however, told, “We resent the pressure, and we resent being made to feel ashamed.” Once again, that Guardian staple - the paranormal we. Because what a Guardian columnist frets about in order to fill space is what all women fret about. How could it not be?
Mercifully, there is light at the end of the tunnel:
I think 2014 might just be the year of the bush. In an unlikely about-face, Cameron Diaz has proclaimed that pubic hair is there for a reason, and to remove it is tantamount to saying, “I don’t need my nose.”
Needless to say, the subsequent comments may also be of interest. There, you’ll find readers affirming the aesthetic and practical merits of various styling techniques - “a landing strip or modest bit of tailored fluff” - while others warn of the hazards of choking on pubic hair in a darkened room. Ms O’Toole’s previous contributions to human knowledge include her belief that not shaving one’s armpits is “the necessary and important work of challenging stupid, arbitrary, gendered bullshit.” Ms O’Toole also managed to mention, several times, that her boyfriends have thought her “brave” for daring to have armpit hair. Yes, fear not, dear reader. A moral titan walks among us. More. ---BH
"The Guardian’s Emer O’Toole returns to a subject she apparently finds compelling and tells us:
"The capitalist drive to convince us that female body hair is unnatural and unclean has been alarmingly successful. The removal industry is worth millions, and uncountable women are ashamed of and distressed by their post-pubescent hair."
Sadly, Ms O’Toole doesn’t pause to ponder how an industry generally becomes successful – say, by offering a product that people are willing to pay for, having made a choice and sought out said product. This being a Guardian article, its basic tone is patronising and womenfolk are once again assumed to be mere dupes, entirely at the mercy of diabolical forces and trembling with insecurities. And so readers are presented with a cloud of implications involving “greedy” industries, sheepish consumers and the shame and distress wrought by pubic hair. A kind of false consciousness for the underpants area, from which one must “wake up,” and in which feelings of inadequacy are “heaped on hairy privates” by persons unknown.
While many details of this drama are left oddly undefined or simply ignored – among them, the agency of the people buying hair-removal products - readers are, however, told, “We resent the pressure, and we resent being made to feel ashamed.” Once again, that Guardian staple - the paranormal we. Because what a Guardian columnist frets about in order to fill space is what all women fret about. How could it not be?
Mercifully, there is light at the end of the tunnel:
I think 2014 might just be the year of the bush. In an unlikely about-face, Cameron Diaz has proclaimed that pubic hair is there for a reason, and to remove it is tantamount to saying, “I don’t need my nose.”
Needless to say, the subsequent comments may also be of interest. There, you’ll find readers affirming the aesthetic and practical merits of various styling techniques - “a landing strip or modest bit of tailored fluff” - while others warn of the hazards of choking on pubic hair in a darkened room. Ms O’Toole’s previous contributions to human knowledge include her belief that not shaving one’s armpits is “the necessary and important work of challenging stupid, arbitrary, gendered bullshit.” Ms O’Toole also managed to mention, several times, that her boyfriends have thought her “brave” for daring to have armpit hair. Yes, fear not, dear reader. A moral titan walks among us. More. ---BH
1/20/14
Progress notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.
01/20/14: Patient is being insufferably smug today after having the temerity to express his opinion publicly about the supposed harmlessness of marijuana, purely because he occasionally smokes some. That's like asking a college kid for advice on the perils of alcohol because he occasionally has a few beers. Patient peered at me with bloodshot eyes and said: "Tell me, Doctor Runk, I mean... Rink, what do you know about weed that I don't? "
"That someone with paranoia such as yourself should never smoke it." I told the moron."It leads to procrastination, laziness and insulting decisions like requiring all the guests at the First Lady's birthday bash to surrender their mobile phones." ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
"That someone with paranoia such as yourself should never smoke it." I told the moron."It leads to procrastination, laziness and insulting decisions like requiring all the guests at the First Lady's birthday bash to surrender their mobile phones." ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
'Impeach Obama,' urges liberal icon
Healthcare.gov 'still riddled with security holes'
Only half of one of the security holes previously identified on the government's health care site has been patched, while new ones have since been uncovered, says the head of a security consulting firm testifying before Congress today on the security issues related to HealthCare.gov, outlined his concerns in a blog post today. Kennedy previously testified in November. Since then, it's still been "business as usual" on the site, he said in the blog.
Among the security holes identified last year, only half of one of them has been fixed, according to Kennedy. And more than 20 additional ones have been discovered by other security researchers examining the site. By his own admission, Kennedy didn't form his opinion by trying to hack into the site but rather based on his years of experience resolving similar problems for other organizations.
To review his findings, Kennedy said he called on other security professionals, including Ed Skoudis, Kevin Mitnick, Chris Nickerson, Eric Smith, Chris Gates, John Strand, and Kevin Johnson. Their responses?
"I asked that they simply give their professional opinion on what they thought of the exposures and if they think best practices were followed on the healthcare.gov website," Kennedy said. "The results were unanimous and unified -- it's bad." More details here [BJS]
Among the security holes identified last year, only half of one of them has been fixed, according to Kennedy. And more than 20 additional ones have been discovered by other security researchers examining the site. By his own admission, Kennedy didn't form his opinion by trying to hack into the site but rather based on his years of experience resolving similar problems for other organizations.
To review his findings, Kennedy said he called on other security professionals, including Ed Skoudis, Kevin Mitnick, Chris Nickerson, Eric Smith, Chris Gates, John Strand, and Kevin Johnson. Their responses?
"I asked that they simply give their professional opinion on what they thought of the exposures and if they think best practices were followed on the healthcare.gov website," Kennedy said. "The results were unanimous and unified -- it's bad." More details here [BJS]
1/19/14
'Leave New York,' Cuomo tells conservatives
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo says pro-life, pro-Second Amendment, and anti-homosexual marriage advocates should leave the state. He calls such Americans “extreme conservatives.” If you live in New York and hold any of these views, this is what your governor thinks of you — “they have no place in the state of New York, because that’s not who New Yorkers are.”
None of this should surprise us since New York City just elected a Marxist mayor. Day by day, Anthony Weiner is looking like the better choice.
Well, it’s certainly what some of New Yorkers 'are' as well as millions of Americans across the United States.
Cuomo says he’s a practicing Catholic. He attends church with his live-in girlfriend, supports abortion on demand, and pushed for the legalization of homosexual marriage. Where is the priest of his parish? Where is the Bishop of his diocese? Read more
None of this should surprise us since New York City just elected a Marxist mayor. Day by day, Anthony Weiner is looking like the better choice.
Well, it’s certainly what some of New Yorkers 'are' as well as millions of Americans across the United States.
Cuomo says he’s a practicing Catholic. He attends church with his live-in girlfriend, supports abortion on demand, and pushed for the legalization of homosexual marriage. Where is the priest of his parish? Where is the Bishop of his diocese? Read more
Stoner president endorses pot
Notorious stoner President Obama claims weed is no more dangerous than alcohol. In a lengthy article published in The New Yorker, the president is reported as downplaying marijuana-smoking as nothing more than a "bad habit." But following public opinion (leading from behind, as usual), the president said legalization of pot in Washington state and Colorado could even lead to legalization of cocaine and methamphetamine. "As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a big chunk of my adult life," Mr. Obama said. "I don’t think it is more dangerous than alcohol.” Laughing Conservative has been unable to confirm rumors that the president favors exotic and potent varietals of pot, like Blueberry Yum Yum and Mango Kush and keeps an emergency supply of Cheetos in a glass-fronted case in the Oval Office's infamous 'Clinton closet' and can smash it open quickly with a small ornamental hammer attached with a chain, if he gets an attack of the munchies.
The ugly side of Obamanomics
"If you want to get an idea of where the rest of America is heading, just take a trip through the western half of West Virginia and the eastern half of Kentucky some time," writes Michael Snyder."Once you leave the main highways, you will rapidly encounter poverty on a level that is absolutely staggering.
"Overall, about 15 percent of the entire nation is under the poverty line, but in some areas of eastern Kentucky, more than 40 percent of the population is living in poverty. Most of the people would work if they could. Over the past couple of decades, locals have witnessed businesses and industries leave the region at a steady pace.
"When another factory or business shuts down, many of the unemployed do not even realize that their jobs have been shipped overseas. Coal mining still produces jobs that pay a decent wage, but Barack Obama is doing his very best to kill off that entire industry.
"After decades of decline, vast stretches of impoverished Appalachia look like they have been through a war. Those living in the area know that things are not good, but they just try to do the best that they can with what they have." More.
"Overall, about 15 percent of the entire nation is under the poverty line, but in some areas of eastern Kentucky, more than 40 percent of the population is living in poverty. Most of the people would work if they could. Over the past couple of decades, locals have witnessed businesses and industries leave the region at a steady pace.
"When another factory or business shuts down, many of the unemployed do not even realize that their jobs have been shipped overseas. Coal mining still produces jobs that pay a decent wage, but Barack Obama is doing his very best to kill off that entire industry.
"After decades of decline, vast stretches of impoverished Appalachia look like they have been through a war. Those living in the area know that things are not good, but they just try to do the best that they can with what they have." More.
Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack H.
01/19/14: Patient is not a decisive man even at the best of times. Today is not the best of times. He will be hosting French President Francois Hollande at a State Dinner on Feb 11. But Hollande still hasn't decided which woman will accompany him: his long-time companion Valerie Trierweiler or a film actress named Julie Gayet whom he has recently been wooing on the down-low. The consequences for my patient are formidable. Michelle still has him in a polar vortex after patient's flirtation with Norwegian PM Helle Thorning -Schmidt at Nelson Mandela's wake. Needless to say, Michelle is not going to be ecstatic if Hollande decides to use the state dinner to publicly two-time Madame Trierweiler. My Patient has found himself on the wrong side of Michelle's fury enough times to be extremely wary of the likely meltdown happening on a global stage. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink M.D
1/18/14
Europe blows cold on warming
The EU's reputation as a model of environmental responsibility may soon be history. The European Commission wants to forgo ambitious climate protection goals and pave the way for fracking -- jeopardizing Germany's touted energy revolution in the process.
The climate between Brussels and Berlin is polluted, something European Commission officials attribute, among other things, to the "reckless" way German Chancellor Angela Merkel blocked stricter exhaust emissions during her re-election campaign to placate domestic automotive manufacturers like Daimler and BMW. This kind of blatant self-interest, officials complained at the time, is poisoning the climate. But now it seems that the climate is no longer of much importance to the European Commission, either. Commission sources have long been hinting that the body intends to move away from ambitious climate protection goals. The Süddeutsche Zeitung has now reported as much. [Source]
[BLS]
The climate between Brussels and Berlin is polluted, something European Commission officials attribute, among other things, to the "reckless" way German Chancellor Angela Merkel blocked stricter exhaust emissions during her re-election campaign to placate domestic automotive manufacturers like Daimler and BMW. This kind of blatant self-interest, officials complained at the time, is poisoning the climate. But now it seems that the climate is no longer of much importance to the European Commission, either. Commission sources have long been hinting that the body intends to move away from ambitious climate protection goals. The Süddeutsche Zeitung has now reported as much. [Source]
[BLS]
Dumb Slebs: Rodman enters rehab
Dennis Rodman has checked into an undisclosed alcohol rehabilitation center to treat his struggle with alcoholism, his agent says.
Darren Prince declined to say which facility will treat Rodman and how long he will be there. Rodman recently returned to the United States from his latest trip to North Korea. He has apologized for comments he made in North Korea about a detained American missionary, saying he had been drinking and was under pressure as he organized an exhibition game there. He also sang "Happy Birthday" to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un at the start of the friendly game
Darren Prince declined to say which facility will treat Rodman and how long he will be there. Rodman recently returned to the United States from his latest trip to North Korea. He has apologized for comments he made in North Korea about a detained American missionary, saying he had been drinking and was under pressure as he organized an exhibition game there. He also sang "Happy Birthday" to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un at the start of the friendly game
1/17/14
Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.
01/17/14: Patient has a long-sufferingly air about him...almost a whiff of martyrdom. "It's not that I resent allowing Michelle a moment to shine on her 50th birthday," he said during our Friday session."But dear Lord, Doctor, does she have to pose for the media hacks with her AARP card? I would have much preferred a photograph of the two of us with her looking at me with the boundless respect and affection she feels for me."
"Yes, Majesty" I said soothingly. and gave him a quick shot of Ativan before he got stuck on transmit. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.
"Yes, Majesty" I said soothingly. and gave him a quick shot of Ativan before he got stuck on transmit. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.
Dim Crims: Burglar foils his own crime
A man managed to pry the lock off the front door of The Shambles bar in Wicker Park, Chicago. But he failed to open the door ... because he was pulling it, despite the fact that there is a sticker on the door clearly marked "PUSH," DNAinfo reports. He gave up; the incident, which was caught on surveillance video, is under review. [Source] [BJS]
Dim Crims: Dumb as a stick
In Massachusetts, a delivery driver was delivering a food order when three men, one with a knife, approached him. They took the food and his keys, but when they got into his car ... "not one of them knew how to drive a stick-shift car," an aide to the police commissioner tells the Springfield Republican. They argued, then ran off; the incident is still under investigation. [Source] BJS
Dim Crims: You want highs with that?
A McDonald’s employee who recently served time in prison on a narcotics charge has been arrested for allegedly selling heroin from a branch of the fast food restaurant, police report. Theodore Levon Upshaw, 28, was busted after selling “20 stamp bags of heroin” to a confidential police informant, according to a criminal complaint. While this transaction took place in the eatery’s parking lot--after Upshaw took a break from work--the informant had “previously made multiple purchases of heroin,” from Upshaw inside the McDonald’s in Murrysville, Pennsylvania. [Source]
1/16/14
O has 'no sense of what he wants to do in the world,' says military expert
President Obama is “chronically incapable” of military strategy and falls far short of his predecessor George W. Bush, according to one of Britain’s most senior military advisors.
Sir Hew Strachan, an advisor to the Chief of the Defense Staff, told The Daily Beast that the United States and Britain were guilty of total strategic failure in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Obama’s attempts to intervene on behalf of the Syrian rebels “has left them in a far worse position than they were before.”
The extraordinary critique by a leading advisor to the United States’ closest military ally comes days after Obama was undermined by the former Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who questioned the President’s foreign policy decisions and claimed he was deeply suspicious of the military.
Strachan, a current member of the Chief of the Defense Staff’s Strategic Advisory Panel, cited the “crazy” handling of the Syrian crisis as the most egregious example of a fundamental collapse in military planning that began in the aftermath of 9/11. “If anything it’s gone backwards instead of forwards, Obama seems to be almost chronically incapable of doing this. Bush may have had totally fanciful political objectives in terms of trying to fight a global War on Terror... but at least he had a clear sense of what he wanted to do in the world.
The dithering over intervention against President Bashar al-Assad has empowered the Syrian ruler, undermined America’s military reputation and destabilized the Middle East, said Strachan. “What he’s done in talking about Red Lines in relation to Syria has actually devalued the deterrent effect of American military capability and it seems to me that creates an unstable situation, because if he were act it would surprise everybody,” Strachan said. [Source link]
Sir Hew Strachan, an advisor to the Chief of the Defense Staff, told The Daily Beast that the United States and Britain were guilty of total strategic failure in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Obama’s attempts to intervene on behalf of the Syrian rebels “has left them in a far worse position than they were before.”
The extraordinary critique by a leading advisor to the United States’ closest military ally comes days after Obama was undermined by the former Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who questioned the President’s foreign policy decisions and claimed he was deeply suspicious of the military.
Strachan, a current member of the Chief of the Defense Staff’s Strategic Advisory Panel, cited the “crazy” handling of the Syrian crisis as the most egregious example of a fundamental collapse in military planning that began in the aftermath of 9/11. “If anything it’s gone backwards instead of forwards, Obama seems to be almost chronically incapable of doing this. Bush may have had totally fanciful political objectives in terms of trying to fight a global War on Terror... but at least he had a clear sense of what he wanted to do in the world.
The dithering over intervention against President Bashar al-Assad has empowered the Syrian ruler, undermined America’s military reputation and destabilized the Middle East, said Strachan. “What he’s done in talking about Red Lines in relation to Syria has actually devalued the deterrent effect of American military capability and it seems to me that creates an unstable situation, because if he were act it would surprise everybody,” Strachan said. [Source link]
Of course: Obamas' luxury vacation was 'for the People'
In what can only be described as a remarkable sacrifice for the public good, the Obamas’ extended vacation in Hawaii was staged entirely to showcase for the public what happens when you allow too much income inequality, writes Keith Koffler --tongue-firmly-in-cheek -- at White House Dossier.
"According to White House advisors close to the president – not close, as in standing next to him all the time, but who have a close relationship with him, at least professionally – the Obamas planned and executed their exorbitant excursion to Hawaii for no other reason than to show Americas how disgustingly well the disgustingly rich live and to drum up support for Obama’s agenda to close the income gap.
“The president and Mrs. Obama this year wanted to just take a three-day weekend at a Ramada Inn in Philadelphia,” said one White House source. “But they felt that, for the good of the country, they must head to Honolulu so people could understand what’s really going on with income inequality."
"According to White House advisors close to the president – not close, as in standing next to him all the time, but who have a close relationship with him, at least professionally – the Obamas planned and executed their exorbitant excursion to Hawaii for no other reason than to show Americas how disgustingly well the disgustingly rich live and to drum up support for Obama’s agenda to close the income gap.
“The president and Mrs. Obama this year wanted to just take a three-day weekend at a Ramada Inn in Philadelphia,” said one White House source. “But they felt that, for the good of the country, they must head to Honolulu so people could understand what’s really going on with income inequality."
1/15/14
Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.
1/15/14: I will have to consider a renewed course of a mild sedative for patient, who is again showing symptoms of paranoia. When I entered the family room of his private apartment, my heart dropped. There he was again face down on the hideous brown sofa, beating it with clenched fists. He looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes. "Bastards!" he said.
"Which bastards, Majesty?" I asked gently.
"Senators of the Intelligence Commitee--dumb as a sack of bricks-- now reckon the Benghazi attack was preventable. I had an important fund-raiser to attend next day and I needed my sleep...preventable? My ass."
"Why don't you roll up a sleeve, Excellency, and I'll give you something to calm you down."
"Excellency? That's 'Majesty' to you, Rink, and don't you forget it."
"I'm so sorry, Majesty," I said soothingly and plunged a shot of Ativan into his arm."Yikes! he cried and almost immediately calmed down. I quickly tippy-toed out of the apartment. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.
"Which bastards, Majesty?" I asked gently.
"Senators of the Intelligence Commitee--dumb as a sack of bricks-- now reckon the Benghazi attack was preventable. I had an important fund-raiser to attend next day and I needed my sleep...preventable? My ass."
"Why don't you roll up a sleeve, Excellency, and I'll give you something to calm you down."
"Excellency? That's 'Majesty' to you, Rink, and don't you forget it."
"I'm so sorry, Majesty," I said soothingly and plunged a shot of Ativan into his arm."Yikes! he cried and almost immediately calmed down. I quickly tippy-toed out of the apartment. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.
Dim Crims: Naked angel arrested
A naked woman wearing a pair of angel wings was arrested early yesterday after police spotted her walking on an Arkansas street. Christine Lawrence, 47, was busted for indecent exposure after a pair of Mountain Home Police Department officers responded to a 3:20 AM call about “a female walking down the middle of the road with nothing on besides angel wings,” according to a police report.
The police report does not indicate why Lawrence was promenading in her birthday suit, though yesterday happened to be her birthday. More details here
The police report does not indicate why Lawrence was promenading in her birthday suit, though yesterday happened to be her birthday. More details here
1/14/14
Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.
1/14/14: Patient is angry today and his ire is mostly directed at Israel, which he says has been rude about John Kerry's efforts to negotiate peace. "What seems to be the trouble, Your Majesty?" I asked. [as noted before, I often address patient as a monarch, when he's insecure. It soothes him.]
"The zionists are frustrated that have to negotiate with us, before they can get face-to-face with other parties," declared Patient, "and they accuse Kerry's efforts of being aimed at securing a Nobel Peace prize, rather than insuring Israel's future security."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Majesty," I replied. "Perhaps you should give Bibi Netanyahu a call and exercise some of your famous diplomatic charm. Patient almost glowed with pleasure at my flattery. Mission accomplished---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.at my
"The zionists are frustrated that have to negotiate with us, before they can get face-to-face with other parties," declared Patient, "and they accuse Kerry's efforts of being aimed at securing a Nobel Peace prize, rather than insuring Israel's future security."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Majesty," I replied. "Perhaps you should give Bibi Netanyahu a call and exercise some of your famous diplomatic charm. Patient almost glowed with pleasure at my flattery. Mission accomplished---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.at my
Lefties question woman's cancer chronicle
A pair of columns questioning a woman's very public battle with Stage IV breast cancer are lighting up the Internet. Former New York Times executive editor Bill Keller and his wife, writer Emma Gilbey Keller, both wrote pieces on Lisa Bonchek Adams, who is chronicling her fight via Twitter and her blog. Emma Keller's column (with a headline that compared Bonchek Adams' social media postings to "funeral selfies"), posted last week, was removed from The Guardian's website yesterday amid all the furor; Bill Keller's column was published in the Times yesterday. Both Kellers weigh various questions that seem to come down to this: Is Bonchek Adams engaging in "TMI"? And would it be better for someone like her to opt for a peaceful, quiet death instead of "heroic measures"? More. [BJS]
Allen West takes aim at Obama and 'henchman' Holder
Allen West rips Obama and Holder: "This is my...message to white Americans. How long will it be before “you people” realize you have elevated someone to the office of president who despises you? [Obama] and his henchman Holder... are the most vile and disgusting racists." Read more
Dim slebs: Bieber raided at dawn
Eleven L.A. County Sheriff's patrol cars reportedly entered Justin Bieber's gated community looking for evidence linking the singer to an egg-throwing incident involving a neighbor.
Sources tell TMZ that Bieber, 19, was being held in his garage as deputies executed the warrant for a search. This comes just a few days after a neighbor called police claiming that the singer pelted his home with eggs.
Sources tell TMZ that Bieber, 19, was being held in his garage as deputies executed the warrant for a search. This comes just a few days after a neighbor called police claiming that the singer pelted his home with eggs.
Israeli minister dismisses Kerry's peace efforts
Israel's outspoken Defense Minister, Moshe Ya'alon, has said that U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, who recently completed his tenth trip to the region in less than a year on the job, "turned up here determined and acting out of misplaced obsession and messianic fervor" for a peace deal. Ya'alon added: "In reality, there have been no negotiations between us and the Palestinians for all these months --but rather between us and the Americans. [Source]
Global warming scam unravels
LC's Australian contributor, B.H, reports: " I heard one of the warmist grant snufflers talking on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation this week explaining that the record cold in the northern hemisphere and record ice near the South Pole was actually global warming-- caused by a "changing jet stream". The scam really is starting to unravel.
1/13/14
Progress notes for Patient 540463 OBAMA, Barack, H.
1/13/14: Patient was in a strange mood during our routine consultation this evening. He studied my face closely, then said: "I guess there's no way you would consider shaving off your beard? "No." I replied," It's part of my persona and suddenly appearing completely different might deeply disturb some of my patients."
"Oh well, said patient, "it was worth asking." He suddenly took on a more cheerful tone. "Michelle's coming back from Maui before Wednesday. So I won't need to have you staying over."
"Ms. Jarrett is the one who controls my presence or absence," I said, "So perhaps a word with her is indicated?" Frankly, after several weeks of patient's tribulations, I will be glad to be rid of the moron.---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
"Oh well, said patient, "it was worth asking." He suddenly took on a more cheerful tone. "Michelle's coming back from Maui before Wednesday. So I won't need to have you staying over."
"Ms. Jarrett is the one who controls my presence or absence," I said, "So perhaps a word with her is indicated?" Frankly, after several weeks of patient's tribulations, I will be glad to be rid of the moron.---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.
Barack Obama's Diary: Michelle calls again
Dear Diary: She's coming home! As I was eating my Froot Loops my iPresidentophone screeched the police siren sound that I have assigned to Michelle. "Hello, my sweet." I said. She said: "Long story short, I'll be back on Wednesday and I want that bearded shrink out of our quarters by then."
"But, sweetie, i've told you that Dr Rink not in our quarters. He just has a bunk elsewhere in the White House, so he can be called upon quickly if I have a panic attack."
"Oprah says there should only be room for one beard in the White House and with Rink and Carney that makes three." I didn't have the heart to argue the point any further. The relief that she would no longer be publicly humiliating me was overwhelming. "I have missed you so much, sweet giant," I said and immediately regretted it. "Sweet giant? She said. "Just you wait until I get home, you miserable little..." and she hung up.
"But, sweetie, i've told you that Dr Rink not in our quarters. He just has a bunk elsewhere in the White House, so he can be called upon quickly if I have a panic attack."
"Oprah says there should only be room for one beard in the White House and with Rink and Carney that makes three." I didn't have the heart to argue the point any further. The relief that she would no longer be publicly humiliating me was overwhelming. "I have missed you so much, sweet giant," I said and immediately regretted it. "Sweet giant? She said. "Just you wait until I get home, you miserable little..." and she hung up.
Dim crims: 'Burglar' falls asleep in victim's bedroom.
A California man has been charged with burglary after he was found sleeping at the foot of his victim’s bed, authorities said. Ruben Diego Ortega, 20, of Santa Ana, was arrested Saturday after a homeowner told police he was sleeping in his room with his wife when he felt something touch his leg. The unidentified victim then got up and found him sleeping at the foot of his bed, according to a statement issued by the Santa Ana Police Department. The homeowner told police he recognized Ortega from the neighborhood. Hours later, the victim realized some property was missing from him home — a PlayStation and cellphones — and went to Ortega’s nearby residence to confront him. He retrieved his property and then called police to report the crime, police said. Ortega later admitted to entering the home after spotting an open window. The suspect said he was crawling out of the house with the stolen property and must have fallen asleep, police said.
Dim Crims: woman shoots brother in row over gun
Joeann Smith, a South-side, Chicago woman has been charged with a felony count of reckless discharge of a weapon after police say she shot her brother, Willie, in the eye last week while the two argued over whether or not her handgun would fire. [Source]
1/12/14
When 'rights' are wrong
A British woman whose mother was raped and murdered will never know where the killer buried her – because authorities are protecting HIS human rights.
Both his prison and the European Union bureaucracy are preventing grieving Tracy Richardson from contacting Martin Stafford. She says she was told the prison had refused to hand the murderer a letter from her because the governor thought it was “intrusive” and “in breach of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights”. Then Tracy found out police are forbidden from asking Stafford, where Michelle Gunson’s body is buried. Under the terms of his European Union Union extradition from Ireland HE has to give THEM consent to ask him. More details. [BJS]
Both his prison and the European Union bureaucracy are preventing grieving Tracy Richardson from contacting Martin Stafford. She says she was told the prison had refused to hand the murderer a letter from her because the governor thought it was “intrusive” and “in breach of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights”. Then Tracy found out police are forbidden from asking Stafford, where Michelle Gunson’s body is buried. Under the terms of his European Union Union extradition from Ireland HE has to give THEM consent to ask him. More details. [BJS]
Barack Obama's Diary: Michelle, woman of mystery
Dear Diary: I have been despairing all day, waiting for a call from Michelle who has been staying with the Grand Ole Oprah on Maui. I'm sure Oprah has been putting ideas in Michelle's head of leading life independently from me. Eventually, my iPresidentophone sounded the police siren sound assigned to Michelle. "Hi, sweetie," I said, for it was she.
"Don't you sweetie me," came the reply."I hear that Dr. Rink, has been sleeping over in our quarters,"
"Yes, sweet thing," I replied. " He has a room to bunk down in when necessary, but it's not in our quarters and it was arranged by Valerie Jarrett, so he would be discreetly available at all times."
"Sweetie," I continued, "there are some tabloid rumors that you are enjoying life so much on Maui that you may not come back. Tell me that's not true."
"That's for me to know, Barry, and you to guess." And with that, she hung up. But enough about me.
"Don't you sweetie me," came the reply."I hear that Dr. Rink, has been sleeping over in our quarters,"
"Yes, sweet thing," I replied. " He has a room to bunk down in when necessary, but it's not in our quarters and it was arranged by Valerie Jarrett, so he would be discreetly available at all times."
"Sweetie," I continued, "there are some tabloid rumors that you are enjoying life so much on Maui that you may not come back. Tell me that's not true."
"That's for me to know, Barry, and you to guess." And with that, she hung up. But enough about me.
Obama marriage threatened
Michelle Obama´s extended absence from Washington and a flurry of renewed speculation about the state of the first couple´s marriage threatened to overshadow her 50th birthday party at the White House on Saturday. Not for the first time in their 22-year marriage the Obamas are approaching what should be a happy family milestone under a cloud of rampant tabloid innuendo. The LC's source for this is a site behind a paywall: Rupert Murdoch's The Australian, which is normally reasonably reliable.
1/11/14
NYC's new Mayor tells an old lie
New York’s new mayor, Bill de Blasio, in his inaugural speech, denounced people “on the far right” who “continue to preach the virtue of trickle-down economics," writes Thomas Sowell.
According to de Blasio, “They believe that the way to move forward is to give more to the most fortunate, and that somehow the benefits will work their way down to everyone else.”
If there is ever a contest for the biggest lie in politics, says Sowell, this one should be a top contender.
More Detail here. [BJS]
According to de Blasio, “They believe that the way to move forward is to give more to the most fortunate, and that somehow the benefits will work their way down to everyone else.”
If there is ever a contest for the biggest lie in politics, says Sowell, this one should be a top contender.
More Detail here. [BJS]
Geert Wilders on the Islamic invasion of the West
The Netherlands, where six per cent of the population is now Muslim, is scrapping multiculturalism: This vindicates the brave Dutch politician Geert Wilders.
The Dutch government says it will abandon the long-standing model of multiculturalism that has encouraged Muslim immigrants create a parallel society within the Netherlands ..
A new integration bill, which Dutch Interior Minister Piet Hein Donner presented to parliament reads:
“The government shares the social dissatisfaction over the multicultural society model and plans to shift priority to the values of the Dutch people.
In the new integration system, the values of the Dutch society play a central role.”
With this change, the government steps away from the model of a multicultural society.
The letter continues: “A more obligatory integration is justified because the government also demands that from its own citizens.
It is necessary because otherwise the society gradually grows apart and eventually no one feels at home anymore in the Netherlands ..
The new integration policy will place more demands on immigrants.
For example, immigrants will be required to learn the Dutch language and the government will take a tougher approach to immigrants who ignore Dutch values or disobey Dutch law.”
The government will also stop offering special subsidies for Muslim immigrants because, according to Donner;
“It is not the government’s job to integrate immigrants.”--- T.G.
1/10/14
Obama job implosion
"Did you see the jobs report today?" asks Sean Hannity. "It was absolutely abysmal. Only 74,000 jobs were created in December, well short of the expected 200,000, yet the unemployment rate fell to 6.7%. This is because 347,000 Americans dropped out of the labor force, bringing the labor force participation rate to a paltry 62.8%, which is a level we haven't seen since 1978. Despite what some news outlets may say, this isn't just because of the weather. According to James Pethokoukis, “If the participation rate had stayed steady the past 12 months, the jobless rate would be 7.9%.” If the labor force participation rate was the same as it was when the recession ended in June 2009, the current unemployment rate would be over 10%. There are now over 90 million Americans no longer in the labor force. [Source]
Barack Obama's Diary: Angular calls
Dear Diary: My morning consumption of Froot Loops seems to attract calls from other great leaders. No sooner had I chomped my way through my last spoonful, and fed the leftover milk to Bo than my iPresidentophone sprang to life with Ride of the Valkyries, the ringtone I assigned to Chancellor Merkel. "Good morning, Angular" I said, for it was she.
" How many listeners do you have on my phone today? she asked.
I gave a pleasant little laugh. " Oh, you Krauts," I said, "Always kidding around."
"I'm replying to your invitation to me to visit with you in Washington later this year. I am accepting," she said.
"That's wonderful, Angular. And how is the pelvis you cracked while skiing?"
"Healing slowly," she replied frostily and quickly disconnected.
I have been watching Chris Christie handling Bridgegate. Since this began as a German-centric day I must confess to some schadenfreude that his ample bulk is absorbing all the media glare. Valerie has cleverly arranged sleeping quarters for Dr Rink when I have one of my little crises, sleepwalking along the White House corridors. But enough about me.
" How many listeners do you have on my phone today? she asked.
I gave a pleasant little laugh. " Oh, you Krauts," I said, "Always kidding around."
"I'm replying to your invitation to me to visit with you in Washington later this year. I am accepting," she said.
"That's wonderful, Angular. And how is the pelvis you cracked while skiing?"
"Healing slowly," she replied frostily and quickly disconnected.
I have been watching Chris Christie handling Bridgegate. Since this began as a German-centric day I must confess to some schadenfreude that his ample bulk is absorbing all the media glare. Valerie has cleverly arranged sleeping quarters for Dr Rink when I have one of my little crises, sleepwalking along the White House corridors. But enough about me.
1/9/14
What the Left can't bear to admit about WW1
BH, our Sydney contributor, is a longtime admirer of plain-talking London Mayor Boris Johnson and came upon this stellar piece, penned by Boris, about the 100th anniversary of the outbreak of World War One: GERMANY STARTED THE GREAT WAR, BUT THE LEFT CAN’T BEAR TO ADMIT IT.
1/8/14
Dim Crims: illegible hold-up note foils would-be robber
Police say a man entered a bank in Antioch, California, took out a note and handed it to a teller.The teller was unable to decipher the handwriting and called her manager for help. Police say the suspect then made a break for it, exiting the bank through the back door. Bank staff eventually understood the suspect's intentions and notified police. Later, officers received a call reporting an unwanted guest at the nearby Somersville Towne Center. When they arrived on scene, they found 29-year-old Jamal Garrett who matched the description of the alleged bank robber.
Witnesses from the failed bank heist positively identified Garrett as the suspect. He was arrested for attempting to rob the bank and parole violations. [Source] [BJS]
Witnesses from the failed bank heist positively identified Garrett as the suspect. He was arrested for attempting to rob the bank and parole violations. [Source] [BJS]
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