Dear Diary: I began this morning listening to the haunting beauty of my own exquisite voice surrounding me in the shower as I sang "This is My Lovely Day" [from
Bless the Bride, for those of you lacking my encyclopedic memory.] This is, indeed, my lovely day, when the eyes and ears of the nation will be fixed upon me as I deliver my State of the Union address to Congress. There are those in the blogosphere who have made the scurrilous suggestion that I admire myself so much that I must have narcissistic personality disorder. Nonsense-- people with NPD are obsessed with their own abilities. I am not obsessed, merely aware of my exceptional gifts.
At to my address tonight, Michelle is conducting a 'let's be moved' campaign: inviting the parents of Hidaya Pendleton, shot dead in Chicago, and Clinton Romesha the soldier upon whom I bestowed the Medal of Honor on Monday. This will demonstrate how compassion and modesty are among my manifold talents. That annoying Pelosi woman is inviting a student from Newtown, which will only serve to distract people from to my compelling narrative. Talking of distractions, I have arranged for Joe to have a glass of a clear energy drink to sip while I speak, to prevent him snoozing visibly on camera.
Awkwaard.
