7/3/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Impeccable Me

Dear Diary: There are times I could hug myself because I am so brilliant. It has been obvious for a while that Obamacare implementation is going to be a challenge in the mid-term elections. During a virtual meeting aboard Air Force One on my way back from Africa, I came up with the perfect solution. We will delay the introduction of mandatory employer-sponsored  insurance  until the midterm elections are over.  And we will announce the delay just before Independence Day. Wooo--hoo! Who's an awesome strategist dudes? Me, that's who --I'm a better strategist than my strategists.  We ran into some turbulence over the Atlantic and I offered to take the controls from the captain, [I am a better pilot than my pilots.]  I spoke to the captain on the intercom announcing my intention....I mean how difficult can it be to fly a 747?  Strangely, when I reached the cockpit, the door was locked.
I enjoyed being celebrated in Africa and would have liked more time there. But  I take comfort in the fact that it won't be long before Mandela tumbles from the twig and I can return for his funeral.
Talking of Africa, hardly had I returned to my chair and put my feet up on  the Resolute Desk, when I had a call from my buddy Morsi in Egypt. He pleaded for help. "Help? I said. "We gave you a bunch of fighter jets. What more do you want?"  Morsi said there had been a coup and there was a platoon of soldiers outside waiting to take him away. "Sorry Morsi," I replied. "I got enough troubles of my own." But enough about me.