3/30/15

Barack Obama's Diary: My mortifying stumble

Dear Diary: I am mortified. If there's one thing I have  been most proud of since I assumed the presidency, it's my gazelle-like elegance  descending the stairs of Air Force One, never touching a side-rail, never stumbling... the very essence of athleticism. But today... disaster struck as I stepped out onto the stairs on my return from Florida. I stumbled, quickly recovered, but the spiteful media have been replaying it ever since, with the unspoken implication that I had been hitting the sauce on the flight north. Bastards.

Lurch, viewed from Down Under

BH, our man in Sydney,  sends this link to the excellent columnist Andrew Bolt who describes John Kerry as an "irrational, superstitious  catastrophist" 

3/28/15

Joke of the Day...

TG writes: "I never send chain letters, but this one really works!
You will be offered sex by simply passing it on.
Here’s what to do:
Send an email with the Subject: “Obama Loves You”
to ten recipients.  At least nine of them will reply,
telling you to go f*ck yourself."

3/27/15

Need a taxi? Hail a niqab

[ Link from TG, our eagle-eyed man in Alaska]

Fauxcahontas gains as Hillary stumbles

"Wheels coming off a Hillary Clinton campaign is not something unexpected. But this is very early for a meltdown. A new CBS poll is out showing only a quarter of Americans have a favorable opinion of Clinton and less than half think she is honest.  "These are not the numbers of a front runner. Watch Elizabeth Warren closely," writes Keith Koffler of White House Dossier.

Dim Crims: shot fired over missing bacon

A jury found a Michigan woman guilty of firing a shot into a McDonald’s drive-thru window after employees failed to put bacon on a cheeseburger she ordered.
Shaneka Monique Torres, 30, was convicted of a felony firearms charge after only an hour of deliberations by the panel. Torre faces a minimum of two years in state prison when she is sentenced next month.
Torres fired a single shot into the McDonald’s at 3:10 AM last February 10, according to Grand Rapids police. The gunplay came after Torres and another woman “complained that the order was incorrect,” cops noted.
When a McDonald’s employee walked away from the drive-thru window, “one shot was fired from the suspect vehicle,” reported police, who added that the bullet entered the eatery at “head level” and “traveled through the window, across the dining room, and exited the restaurant through another window on the east side of the restaurant.”

3/24/15

Obama puts Israel in 'mortal jeopardy'

The White House is playing with fire, says Keith Koffler of White House Dossier. "All Israel has is America. And now, with America about to deliver to the Iranians a nuclear weapon and hoping to hand the Palestinians a state, Israel is in mortal jeopardy...." [Read it all]

3/21/15

Progress Notes for Patient 54-04-163, OBAMA, Barack, H.

?/21/2015: Just when I thought I had a day clear of patients, Valerie Jarrett called, unusually agitated: "Doctor Rink, can you manage  a home visit ASAP?
"Of course," I replied. Tedious as ministering  to the needs of the Commander-in-Chief can be, there is the advantage that his  medical bills are picked up by the military and promptly paid, which, in the era of Obamacare, is something devoutly to be wished for. Valjar led me into the President's family apartment where he had assumed his characteristic fetal position, face down  on the hideous brown sofa, sobbing into the faux velvet. I raised a quizzical eye towards Valjar. "He phoned Netanyahu to scold him," she said . "But there was a bellow over phone from Tel Aviv and your Patient  immediately abandoned his  mission and retreated here, sobbing."
I administered the usual modest  dose of  Ativan "He should sleep now," I said, and left  the room, Dictated by S.H.Rink M.D.