8/31/14

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Dim Crims: Drag act

Investigators said 22-year-old Ryan Mullins, of Swansboro, N.C. smashed a window at a pharmacy's drive-through, tied a rope around a 100-pound safe containing prescription drugs and drove about two miles with the safe dragging behind his vehicle, police said.
A police officer pulled over to let Mullins pass, then saw the safe.  Mullins is charged with felony breaking and entering, larceny, possession of stolen goods, two felony counts of trafficking opium or heroin, one count of safe cracking and misdemeanor DWI. [Source]   [BJS]

8/30/14

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Ron runs foul of the Law

Ron Chestna, a writer and a poet, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time. Ron replied: "I'm on my way to listen to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking cheap cigars and staying out late."
 The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
 Ron replied: My wife."

8/29/14

Tweet of the Day...

In reaction to the  hideous tan suit that Bam proudly wore to last Thursday's  press conference, comes this quick-witted Tweet of the Day: "The Audacity of Taupe."   Congratulations to Tweetmeister Jared Keller.


Fed up down under [bad link repaired]

BH, our Sydney contributor,  is fed up about this, and rightly so.

Take the racism test


TG our Alaska contributor, sends this racism test:

The Bam Mutiny

Lawmakers are fuming over President Barack Obama's admission that his White House lacks a strategy for dealing with the rise of the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS) in Syria, with one congressman comparing his performance to the bumbling sheriff's deputy Barney Fife from 'The Andy Griffith Show.'
And as House and Senate members piled on with sharp criticism, a former senior aide to a retired defense secretary told MailOnline that the Joint Chiefs of Staff are 'seeing red' and 'spitting nails' following Obama's candid admission.
'They're losing confidence in their mission,' said the long-time Pentagon insider, who spoke on condition of anonymity. 'When the president doesn't know what direction to point people in, all his advisers can do is guess at what he wants. That's not good.'
Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert told Fox News   that Obama articulated 'a pitiful foreign policy, and Barney Fife is in charge [Source reiterated things he or his aides had already said. But there was one l
When asked about whether his future plans for combating the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) required congressional authorization, Obama ducked. "I don't want to put the cart before the horse," he said, before uttering the line that'll likely haunt him for the rest of his presidency. "We don't have a strategy yet."



Zebra foalz born on same day

Newly returned from Ferguson, MO, Our ebonics contributor SVW, sends this:  "GULF BREEZE, Florida – Da Gulf Breeze Zoo announce' dat two Grévy’z zebra foalz wuz born uv differint motherz on da same day, Aug. 12, at da facilitee.
“We knew both femalez wuz due any day, buh we couldn’t predict dat both femalez would give birth on da same day,” say Desiree Haga, assistant curata, n' a nuze release. “Both deliveriez wuz quick an' we’a excite' ta report both babiez be happy an' healthy wiff they motherz.”
Grévy’z zebra be da mos' endangere' uv da three zpeciez uv zebra. Fewa den 2,500 uv da animalz be thoute ta exis' n' da wild n' Kinya an' Ethiopia, wiff around 600 livn' n' captivitee. Da zebra’z typical gestashun period be 390 dayz, o'around 13 monthz.
Accordn' ta da release from da zoo, baby zebraz be born wiff a unique brown an' crackah stripe pattern, wich darkinz ta black an' crackah az dey get olda. Motha zebraz communicate wiff they babiez usn' a varietee uv zoundz includn' squealn', brayn' an' gruntn'.
Both motherz an' they foalz be back on public display at da Gulf Breeze Zoo, off uv U.S. 98 n' Gulf Breeze, about a 30-minute drive eas' uv Pinsacola. [Source]

How to speak Leftese


8/25/14

Bam, what in the world have you done?

"As Obama golfed over the weekend, Tripoli Airport fell to the jihad boys," writes Mark Steyn. "I was there years ago, and thought it compared favorably with, say, Logan. Now it's a smoking ruin - part of the blowback from Obama's leading with his behind, or whatever he calls it. As things stand, this guy will end his presidency with a chain of failed states for al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, al-Shabaab, ISIS and the Taliban to gambol and frolic in, stretching from West Africa to the Hindu Kush. But you can't see them from Martha's Vineyard, so who cares?"  [Read it all]

Fool Britannia: Socialism in Action

Fraser Nelson of British magazine The Spectator did some number crunching recently and found that Britain is poorer than every State in the USA but one.
As Nelson wrote:  “if Britain were to somehow leave the EU and join the US … we’d be the 2nd-poorest state in the union, poorer than any state other than Mississippi.This is shocking and disheartening  to American liberals who often assume that Great Britain is still the jewel of Europe pointing to its nearly 100 percent socialist-styled government as a model of perfection. But it turns out that decades of socialism has laid Britain low.

Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg

8/24/14

Dim Crims: Wasp stings betray thief

Jamie Brown, 29, was caught after he accidentally disturbed wasp nest while urinating during his getaway, a British court heard. Brown spent six hours in agony at Leeds General Infirmary, before being discharged and appearing before Leeds Magistrates Court which heard that Brown had attempted to flee with a stolen fish tank but as cops swarmed the area Brown relieved himself in a bush home to a nest of wasps and fled from the scene - catching their attention.  [Source]    BJS