4/16/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Breakfast with Putin

Dear Diary: I was able to regain some sort of normality today.  Marv had concealed Blankie under my  pillow and I was able to sleep with my comfort blanket's  soothing satin edging against my cheek. Breakfast consisted of  steel-cut oatmeal porridge, at M's insistence.  Putin was waiting to pounce as usual and  I had scarcely ingested a mouthful of  porridge when my  iPresidentophone  sounded The Song of the Volga Boatmen by the Red Army Choir.  "Good mornin,' Vlad," I said in my steely, intimidating voice.
"Obamavich," he replied. "Did your destroyer enjoy being buzzed by our jet fighter  in the Black Sea yesterday?"
"Look here, Vlad, if you don't stop these stunts and pull back that massive force assembled on Ukraine's border, I am going to get really, really cross  and there will be consequences for you."
"Now I'm really scared...From you and whose army, Obamavich?"
"Never mind, that's for me to know and you to worry about. Goodbye." I tapped the "End Call" button, and proceeded calmly to finish my oats without even  splitting an infinitive. Am I insanely cool? Or am I
insanely cool? But enough about me.

Joke of the Day

A state trooper stopped a 95-year-old woman on Interstate 20. As he was checking her driver's license, he noticed that she had a concealed carry permit. "Got any guns with you, ma'am?" he asked. "Yes," she said."A 45 Smith & Wesson in the glove compartment, a 357 magnum in the console, and a 38 special in my purse." "Lady," asked the trooper, "what are you scared of?"
"Not a damn thing!" she said.

Feds accused of Nevada destruction

Feds 'Destroyed Water Lines, Fences, Water Tanks, Killed Two Prized Bulls During Bundy Ranch Standoff'  Fox News reports    [More]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Medical dream is taxpayer nightmare

Of the plans that states have hatched for the Affordable Care Act, none has been bolder than that of Vermont, which wants to implement a single-payer health-care system, like Britain or Canada. One government-operated system will cover all 620,000 of Vermont’s citizens. The hope is that such a system will allow Vermont to get costs down closer to Canada’s, as well as improve health by coordinating care and ensuring universal coverage.
Just two small issues need to be resolved before the state gets to all systems go: First, it needs the federal government to grant waivers allowing Vermont to divert Medicaid and other health-care funding into the single-payer system. And second, Vermont needs to find some way to pay for it [More:]          [BJS]

Dim Crims: Rule1 --never walk awkwardly through Customs

Customs and Border Protection officers spotted Bernard Charles "walking awkwardly" at New York's JFK Airport.They patted him down—and found a "hard object in [his] groin area" that ended up being two clear packages holding 1.79 pounds of heroin, according to US Homeland Security.
Charles, a 42-year-old citizen of Trinidad and Tobago, was initially detained when he disembarked Caribbean Airlines Flight 520 and appeared "visibly nervous," avoiding eye contact; customs officers were examining his suitcase at the time, CBS New York reports, and they brought him to a private search room. That's when they noticed his gait and patted him down, the New York Daily News reports. The drugs he was allegedly carrying are worth more than $70,000 on the street, according to authorities. He faces 10 years in prison for drug smuggling. [Source]       [BJS]

Dim Crims: Courting trouble

On the bright side, James Manning made it to court on time for his hearing on a drug-possession charge. The problem is that police say he stole a car from a neighboring California county to do so, reports The Modesto Bee.
The 49-year-old's trouble got rolling when a dealership in Redding called police to say that one of its cars had disappeared and that GPS showed it to be parked in front of the Tuolumne County courthouse. Cops waited around and nabbed Manning and his wife, and they eventually confessed to stealing the vehicle in order to get to court. Police found pot inside the car, reports AP, leading to another drug charge in addition to one for car theft. [Source]     [BJS]

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary: Pot alarm

Dr Rink says researchers at Northwestern University have analyzed  a link between casual use of marijuana and brain changes – and found that young adults who used cannabis even once or twice a week showed changes in brain structure.  I, on the other hand, know that it has not had the slightest effect on my cognition ...what was I thinking about? Oh yes, Ukraine. Funny word that: Yookrain... You crane...Hey You Crane, watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when Putin come for you? Where was I? Oh yes. But enough about me. 

4/15/14

Academia Nuts: Too many whites makes a wrong

Western Washington University sent a questionnaire to students asking them for advice on how the administration could succeed at making sure that in future years, “we are not as white as we are today.”
The question notes that WWU’s racial make up does not perfectly reflect the nation at large, and asks students to consider strategies that other universities have used to focus on skin color as the paramount indicator of a student-applicant’s worth.
The president of WWU has stated that his explicit goal is to reduce the white population on campus, according to Campus Reform.
“I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, that we as a faculty and staff and student body, as an administration, if we 10 years from now are as white as we are today, we will have failed as a university,” said Bruce Shepard, president of WWU, in a 2012 address.  Read more  [ECS]

4/14/14

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Obamanomics: Foodstamp recipients ounumber working women

People participating in the food stamp program outnumbered the women who worked full-time, year-round in the United States in 2012, according to data from the Department of Agriculture and the Census Bureau.
In the average month of 2012, according to the Department of Agriculture, there were 46,609,000 people participating in the food stamp program (formally known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program). That contrasts with the 44,059,000 women who worked full-time, year-round in 2012, according to the Census Bureau’s report on Income, Poverty and Health Insurance Coverage in the United States.
For each woman who worked full-time, year-round in 2012, there was slightly more than 1 other person collecting food stamps.

Joke of the Day

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one
day. As they walk, they come across a sign:
 "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering," said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?
"First Place!" said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest
man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place!" answers Superman.
They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the
greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio says, "This is mine."
Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they all ask.
He replies:"Who the hell is Barack Obama?"       [ECS]


Mosque matter

I was going through a few magazines the  other day, down at the local mosque.
I was really enjoying myself.
Then the rifle jammed.  [BH]

Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg