Yes, we have no vaginas...

Read it, and weep: At Massachusetts' Mt Holyoke College, a theater group   has decided to end the annual performances of the play The Vagina Monologues - work that was celebrated as a beacon of feminist expression in the 1990s but now is considered by some progressive activists to "exclude women without vaginas."  [Source]   [BJS]

Jeb jumps ahead as he jostles for nomination

Mitt Romney’s decision to forgo a third try at the White House has settled the question of whether the 2016 GOP presidential field has a front-runner — bestowing a coveted status on former Florida governor Jeb Bush that also raises new challenges and perils, says a report in The Washington Post.
"Republicans have a tradition of picking an anointed one early. That establishment candidate almost always ends up with the nomination, although not without a fight and some speed bumps along the way."
But this is a particularly unsettled time for the party. It is struggling to define its identity amid open warfare among its various factions. And there are a raft of fresh and potentially appealing faces emerging on the scene, comprising what many Republicans believe could be the strongest undercard of early-bout contenders in decades."

Cartoon: Michael Ramirez

[Investors Business Daily]


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[Cagle Cartoons]

Dim Crims: Three's a crowd

 If you're traveling in an SUV with two men you've allegedly kidnapped in the backseat, don't count them toward your HOV-lane total. A 26-year-old New Jersey man was arrested on Friday morning after a Port Authority officer saw what looked like an otherwise empty car and pulled him over for driving solo in an I-95 HOV lane. To prove that there were indeed enough people in the car to qualify as "high occupancy," Luis A. Moreno, Jr., rolled down the rear window to display two passengers in the Toyota Sequoia's third row. It could have been all good—except as Moreno began to continue on his way, one of the passengers cried for help out the open window, reports NJ.com.
A Port Authority police rep says Moreno ignored orders to stop, but was soon caught in rush-hour traffic (it was just after 8am) and apprehended, the New York Daily News reports. The rep says one of the passengers said, in Spanish, that Moreno had agreed to drive him from Texas to Maryland for a fee; once they got to Maryland, however, he says Moreno asked for more money, locked him in the car, and confiscated his phone. Police say the door and window locks had been altered in a way that prevented the men from being able to open either. Gothamist reports one man was an immigrant from Guatemala, and the other from Asia. Moreno faces a litany of charges: kidnapping, criminal restraint, receiving stolen property, and driving with a suspended license. [BJS]


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Socialist medicine in action

A British man has finally had an operation to deal with a bleed on his brain more than two months after  a fall.  Allan Guthrie, 78, fell at his home in Southend,  England, on November 20, but has only just had an operation after it was first misdiagnosed and then delayed due to a lack of  vacant hospital beds. [Source]  [BJS]

Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

[Cagle Cartoons]


ABCs from CBS

When it snows it blows, or at least the East Coast media does
Marc Lester of The Anchorage Daily News writes:
"If the snows ever return to Southcentral Alaska, here's a tip on how to survive, courtesy of the lamestream media from America's faraway coast: "Stay warm.''
With the mother of all storms (or maybe the stepsister of a midsize Bering Sea blow) pummeling the East Coast this week, "stay warm'' was No. 3 on the list of "top safety tips for surviving the blizzard of 2015''
Yes, this is the savvy information now provided by the network once home to legendary newsman Walter Cronkite. It has to make Alaskans wonder just how out of touch with nature are those who live Outside.
The other top tips?
"Don't drive."
"Be prepared."
"Put down the snow shovel."
"Mind the gas."
The first three warnings are largely self-explanatory, but the last could leave a few scratching their heads. It was a caution against trying to heat the house with a charcoal grill, camp stove or any of the other heating devices that come with warnings to use them only outside because they give off large quantities of carbon monoxide.
Carbon monoxide (CO) is an odorless, colorless gas that adheres to red blood cells and takes the place of oxygen. It doesn't take much CO to poison and kill people. "Mind the gas'' might be a valid safety tip.
What next? Tips on how to deal with Superbowl Sunday?
Turn on the TV. Be sure to have adequate supplies of chips, salsa and beer. Don't drive. Put down the shovel.
The CBS snow shovel warning is especially rich: "Some doctors recommend avoiding snow shoveling if you are over 55 or have a history of heart problems. If you must shovel the snow, be aware of the health implications; take breaks, dress warmly and remember to breathe."
Don't you hate it when you forget to breathe? That just causes all kinds of problems. And if you're over 55, well, then you probably already know that's when life basically ends, and you climb into your rocker to await death."

Joke of the Day...

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred
young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
 He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the
soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and
attached them to his roosters.
 Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
 Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report
by just listening to the bells.
 Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen,
but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all.
 When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the
roosters coming, would run for cover.
 To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on
to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane
City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No
Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most  coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the
unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying
attention. [TG]

Cartoon: Glenn McCoy


Barack Obama's Diary: Barefaced chic

Dear Diary: It was with a huge sense of relief that I re-boarded Air Force One in Riyadh to fly back to the States. Mooch was seething with rage, having been pointedly ignored by all the dignitaries assembled to greet me. She had complied with most of the directions of Wahabism, wearing  trousers and a long coat, but  it was bright blue, rather than the black the locals favor, and she flatly refused to wear a  head-covering niqab. Once we were  back in our private cabin and we  had gained take-off speed, Mooch  locked the door and mooned one side of the runway, cackling delightedly: " How do you like dem moons?"  We soon settled down to a meal of  ham and other delights forbidden us during the past few days and asked to be woken with a breakfast of bacon and eggs.  We dozed watching episodes of Judge Judy, of which Marv Nicholson, my trusty trip director,  keeps a library for me on board, along with assorted episodes of Storage Wars. The reassuring roar of the four Pratt & Whitneys quickly lulled us to sleep.


Krauthammer: GOP will choose Marco Rubio

Political pundit Charles Krauthammer said Friday that he thinks Florida Senator Marco Rubio is most likely to win the Republican nomination for president. The answer came in response to a question from Steve Hayes on "Special Report," a news program that airs on the Fox News Channel.


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Cold enough for you?

TG, our hardy Alaska contributor, reports that, For the first time all winter, the National Weather Service said Fairbanks residents can expect typical January temperatures.
"We won't quite escape the really, really cold temperatures this winter," National Weather Service technician Harry Lind said. Temperatures are expected to be minus 44 degrees Monday, and minus 49 degrees by Tuesday. By mid-week he said the temperatures will be "warming up" to minus 42 degrees. 

President stomps feet over Bibi's planned Congress visit

We thought we’ve seen everything,” Israel Daily Ha'aretz quoted a senior US official as saying. “But Bibi managed to surprise even us." 
According to the paper, "chickenshit" the word the White House called Netanyahu a few months ago, was nothing compared to the cusses used at the White House when they found out that Bibi was coming to DC to speak before Congress.
“There are things you simply don’t do. He spat in our face publicly and that’s no way to behave. Netanyahu ought to remember that President Obama has a year and a half left to his presidency, and that there will be a price,” he said. [Source]


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

[Cagle Cartoons]

Progress Notes for Paitient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

Valerie Jarrett had asked me to stay up late, expecting Patient to be high on adrenaline after his SOTU address to Congress. That was  indeed the case.
Patient has acquired a large gold ring which he increasingly proffers to visitors in the expectation of them applying their lips to it. The frequency with which he does this has become a useful indicator of how high his ego is flying. "Put the ring away, majesty," I told him firmly, as I entered the room. He complied immediately, so I was able to give him a minimal dosed of sedative and retire early for the night. Dictated by S.H. Rink, M D.

Ouch! Boehner and Bibi spank Bam

You could almost hear the smack across the bow of the Obama administration Wednesday as Speaker John Boehner invited Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to address a joint session of Congress on February 11, and Bibi accepted.
"Usually these things are scheduled along with an already scheduled foreign leader/POTUS meeting. This however was done without any corresponding Presidential meeting, or even a consultation with the White House or State Dept. " [More]


Barack Obama's Diary: My time to shine

Dear Diary: Tonight... tonight... I give my SOTU tonight and I will be borne from Capitol Hill on a great tide of acclaim when people realize what a genius I am. Just raise taxes by a few billion and all will be well. People love to pay tax when it brings more equality.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[Augusts Chronicle]


Shots fired near Biden home

The Secret Service reports that shots were fired near VP Joe Biden's home last night. A car left the area at a high rate of speed. Laughing Conservative has not been able to confirm a rumor that Hillary Clinton was at the wheel.

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

1/17/2015  Valerie Jarrett has requested that I stay overnight for a week or so in my little suite near the family apartment. Patient has been very unstable for the past couple of days. He develops an acute inferiority complex when leaders like David Cameron visit the White House. Cameron likes a plain soft-boiled egg for breakfast, but patient has demanded Eggs Benedict  for their Sunday breakfast, so he can put 'that pompous PM in his place.' Dictated by S.H. Rink, MD.


Barack Obama's Diary: Eggs over-awkward

I had a working breakfast with David Cameron this morning. I had my usual two eggs over-easy with wholewheat toast, preceded by Honeynut Cheerios. He ordered a 4.5 minute boiled egg served in an eggcup. When it arrived, he proceeded to tap open the top of the shell with a spoon  and extract the half-cooked contents. Sheesh! Those Brits... talk about anal.
I was quietly hoping that I would get one of my frequent breakfast calls from Vlad, Bibi, or another eminent leader, so I could show off my global connectedness to Cameron. But it was not to be. I have been getting fewer of these calls since my absence from the Paris march, and Lurch's overtures appear to have resulted in nothing more than his self-beclownment.

Hillary's too-easy ride could leave her vulnerable

HILLARY CLINTON appears to have scared away much of the competition should she seek the Democratic nomination for president in 2016, but some strategists say that could leave her largely untested for a tough election.

Socialism brings housing crisis

The UK is facing a housebuilding crisis. A decade ago, the Barker Review of Housing Supply noted that about 250,000 homes needed to be built every year to prevent spiraling house prices and a shortage of affordable homes.
That target has been consistently missed - the closest the UK got was in 2006-07 when 219,000 homes were built. In 2012-13, the UK hit a post-war low of 135,500 homes, much of which was due to the financial crisis. Last year the figure recovered slightly to 141,000 homes.
In May 2014, Mark Carney, governor of the Bank of England, complained that housebuilding in the UK was half that of his native Canada, despite the UK having a population twice the size. The consequences have been rocketing prices in London, the South East and other parts of the country. [More]  [BJS]

The candidate that everyone has overlooked

"When people talk about the primary season and who the GOP field will be, there is one name that is almost forgotten. Ben Carson, the outspoken retired neurosurgeon, has made no secret his desire to run in 2016. He has been criticized for his off the cuff comparisons, which seem to have a dual effect. They make the leftist media cry foul and the GOP establishment cringe...." Read it all...


Montreal mayor rejects Muslim demand

UPDATE: Snopes. com, the rumor-checking site   identifies this as false and originating in Belgium. Our sincere apologies to readers.

Muslim parents demanded the abolition of pork in all the school cafetarias of a Montreal suburb.
The mayor of the Montreal suburb of Dorval, has refused, and the town clerk sent a note to all parents to explain why...
“Muslims must understand that they have to adapt to Canada and Quebec, its customs, its traditions, its way of life, because that's where they chose to immigrate.
“They must understand that they have to integrate and learn to live in Quebec.
“They must understand that it is for them to change their lifestyle, not the Canadians who so generously welcomed them.
“They must understand that Canadians are neither racist nor xenophobic, they accepted many immigrants before Muslims
(Whereas the reverse is not true, in that Muslim states do not accept non-Muslim immigrants).
“That no more than other nations, Canadians are not willing to give up their identity, their culture.
“And if Canada is a land of welcome, it's not the Mayor of Dorval who welcomes foreigners, but the Canadian-Quebecois people as a whole.
“Finally, they must understand that in Canada (Quebec) with its Judeo-Christian roots, Christmas trees, churches and religious festivals, religion must remain in the private domain.
The municipality of Dorval was right to refuse any concessions to Islam and Sharia.
“For Muslims who disagree with secularism and do not feel comfortable in Canada, there are 57 beautiful Muslim countries in the world, most of them under-populated and ready to receive them with open   halal arms in accordance with Shariah.
If you left your country for Canada, and not for other Muslim countries, it is because you have considered that life is better in Canada than elsewhere.
“Ask yourself the question, just once, “Why is it better here in Canada than where you come from?”
“A cafetaria with pork is part of the answer.”  [TG]

Joke of the Day...

8-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.
"What's your name?", asked the teacher.
"Mohammad," he replied.
"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher.  "So from now on you will be known as "Mick."
Mohammad returned home after school.
"How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked.
"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mick."
"Are you ashamed of your name?  Are you trying to dishonor your parents,
your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"  And his mother beat him.
Then she called his father, who beat him again.
The next day Mohammad returned to school.  The teacher saw all of his bruises.
"What happened to you, Mick?", she asked.
"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fucking Arabs." [RK]

Friendz meanz Heinz

Our contributor ECS is in utter disbelief: Kerry goes to Paris and brings James Taylor, who sings "You've Got a Friend" to the French.  Read it all

Barack Obama's Diary: Opportunity knocks

Dear Diary: I have David Cameron, the British PM, as a guest today. It will help draw attention away from  Valjar's massive faux pas in keeping me away from the Paris march. I have tried blaming it on the Secret Service, but nobody's buying that. We will have to rely on the old 'united front' line. We have stationed a bunch of F35s at our Lakenheath base in Britain, which makes the Brits feel more secure, as Putin probes their defenses with his long-range bombers. In the end, we'll both end up looking better and more competent, which is what these tiresome meetings/photo-ops are for, after all.


Oxford University Press bans words pig, sausage, pork

A World Gone Nuts: The Oxford University Press has forbidden authors to use the words pig, sausage or pork, to avoid offending Muslims. More  [ECS]

Yes we can, can, can

An Alabama middle school principal wants to stockpile cans of corn and peas in classrooms for students to hurl at possible intruders as a last resort defense, AP reports. W.F. Burns Middle School Principal Priscella Holley asked parents to have each student bring an 8-ounce canned item.
"The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive," Holley wrote. "The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure in case an intruder enters their classroom."  [ECS]


How Obama shamed us before the eyes of the world

 Our cowardly leader humiliated us in front of the  world.

'France is our oldest ally,' Obama said during a Friday speech in Tennessee. 'I want the people of France to know that the United States stands with you today, stands with you tomorrow.' But, unlike the 3.77 million people who assembled in Paris  yesterday, he and his administration,  didn't stand with anyone. This was a grotesque error of judgement


Barack Obama's Diary: When in doubt, run like hell...

Dear Diary: I have been having an increasingly uncomfortable weekend as leaders as diverse as Abbas, Merkel, Cameron and Netanyahu have announced plans to join a million-strong march in Paris to show solidarity with the murdered cartoonists of Charlie Hebdo. My aides have been whining about the bad optics of my being absent. It's all very well for them --they don't have to miss multiple rounds of golf and expose themselves to potential snipers along the Champs Elysees and the Arc de Triomphe. "When in doubt, retreat. Then run like hell," I always say. And I'm always right.

Hollande Daze...

Mark Steyn  attacks the hypocrisy of Western leadership, as only he can: "The French authorities killed three murderous savages yesterday. That was the only good news on a day in which a third hostage siege began in Montpellier. The bad news started at the top, with President Hollande's statement after the Charlie Hebdo slaughter and the Kosher grocery siege.
Those who committed these acts have nothing to do with the Muslim religion.
Yeah, right. I would use my standard line on these occasions - "Allahu Akbar" is Arabic for "Nothing to see here" - but it's not quite as funny when the streets are full of cowards, phonies and opportunists waving candles and pencils and chanting "Je suis Charlie." Because if you really were Charlie, if you really were one of the 17 Frenchmen and women slaughtered in the name of Allah in little more than 48 hours, you'd utterly despise a man who could stand ... [Read it all]

Joke of the Day...

TG, our man in Alaska,  says you may have  heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.          
By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is
considered "mentally unstable."

In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in Detroit."

In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food."

In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend."

In Montana, he'd be called "The neighbourhood 'Go-To' guy."

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

In North Carolina, Virginia, W.Va., Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky and South Carolina he would be called "a deer hunting buddy."

And in Texas:  he'd just be "Poor Bubba, who's a little short on ammo."


Bumper sticker of the day...

Mitt mulls 2016 run

"Mitt Romney forcefully declared his interest in a third presidential run to a room full of powerful Republican donors on Friday, disrupting the fluid 2016 GOP field as would-be rival Jeb Bush was moving swiftly to consolidate establishment support," The Washington Post reports.

Why these children of gays oppose gay marriage

Four adult children of gay parents — acting as a “quartet of truth” — have submitted briefs to the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals opposing same-sex marriages, with several saying that growing up under the rainbow was neither normal nor pleasant. The court, is considering whether to uphold the man-woman marriage laws in Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi.  Read more: 

Tribute to Hebdo heroes

[Cagle Cartoons]


UK security chief: al-Qaeda 'plotting new mass attacks on West'

"A group of core al Qaeda terrorists in Syria is planning mass casualty attacks against the West," the head of Britain's security agency MI5, Andrew Parker, said in a rare public speech at MI5 headquarters in London.
In the speech, planned before the Charlie Hebdo killings in Paris, Parker said seasoned al Qaeda militants in Syria aimed to "cause large-scale loss of life, often by attacking transport systems or iconic targets" in the West.

Public-school girls told: 'follow Shariah dress code'

The Douglas County School District in Colorado, under fire for saying that schoolgirls might have to cover up from head to ankle for a field trip to a mosque, has confirmed that such Shariah requirements will be enforced on the outing.
“Students who choose to attend the [Rocky Heights Middle School] world religion field trip are expected to respect the dress code of the host facility,” the school said in a statement posted online.
The explanation followed a firestorm of criticism of the school for announcing the field trip for seventh-grade students and including a note that the Shariah dress code could be enforced.
The note sent to families, according to a report from Islam expert and commentator Pamela Geller, said: “The world religions field trip is next Tuesday, January 13. We will be visiting the Denver Mosque, the Assumption Greek Orthodox Cathedral, and the Rodef-Shalom Synagogue. We will then eat lunch at Park Meadows Food Court. Students must either bring a sack lunch or money to purchase lunch at the food court.”
It continued: “THERE IS A DRESS CODE FOR THIS TRIP: All students must wear appropriate long pants. Ankles must be covered. Girls must bring wide scarves or hooded sweatshirts for the mosque.”
Geller said the “subjugation and oppression of women are enshrined under the Shariah.”
“Young school girls should not be forced to ‘respect’ a dress code that represents honor violence, female genital mutilation, forced marriage, child marriage, et al,” she wrote.
The field trip was featured on the Peter Boyles radio talk show on Denver’s KNUS.
“Public schools are forbidden from holding girls to different standards than boys,” Boyles noted. “They’re holding these girls to a different standard – it’s a religion reason. Read more. Our normally very proper contributor ECS is moved to comment 'WTF.'     'WTF,' indeed.

Pens mightier than swords

 How the world's cartoonists responded to the  massacre of their colleagues...


Barack Obama's Diary: Cartoonists? Meh. Uncle Joe usually scares them straight

Dear Diary: If I've warned people once, I've warned them a dozen times: Don't inflame the Religion of Peace. They are merely nice people who can sometimes be a little misunderstood.  Heaven knows even I--the most tolerant of leaders-- have been upset by mean cartoons. No need for violence. Rather, a brief, affable call from Uncle Joe Biden, saying: "Nice tax record you've got there, Mr Cartoonist, we wouldn't want to have an audit of the past ten years, now would we?" does the trick and draws them back into line.

What difference can it possibly make?

From our man in Alaska, TG


Enticing Headline of the Day...

'Bubba and the Palm Beach Pedophile' ---From The Drudge Report

Harvard fury at Health Care changes

For years, Harvard’s experts on health economics and policy have advised presidents and Congress on how to provide health benefits to the nation at a reasonable cost. But those remedies will now be applied to the Harvard faculty, and the professors are in an uproar, reports The New York Times.     Read it all.  [BJS]

Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

01/5/2015 I visited Patient's family apartment, as pre-arranged with Valerie Jarrett, and found him in his accustomed position-- face down on the hideous brown sofa, beating at it feebly with his fists. "What seems to be the trouble?" I ventured.  "I feel ignored," came the reply.  This is a fairly permanent state with this Patient who has narcissistic personality disorder.  "Oh, come,  come," I said. You're the leader of the Free world. Everybody knows of you." He looked up at me gratefully. "Everybody?
"You're getting more attention than the Kardashians," I replied. He almost purred with pleasure. Mission accomplished. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.


Barack Obama's Diary: Back to the grindstone

Dear Diary: No sooner was I back at The White House, than Valjar presented me with a densely-filled schedule. First on the list was a visit from Dr. S.H. Rink, psychiatrist to the stars, who would be calling on me in the family apartment. Valjar is concerned that I seemed to have lost my lust for golf as my vacation drew to a close and she was worried that it might be a symptom of depression. Any depression was far more to do with two uninterrupted weeks with Moose than with my golf handicap. What I need is my ego re-polished.


Joke of the Day...

At an international  medical conference, an Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man and in 6 weeks, he is  looking for work".
 A German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work".
A Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work".
An American doctor laughs: "You are all way behind us.
We took a man with no brains, no spine and no balls and made him  President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work."  [EM]


Barack Obama's Diary: Whacked

Dear Diary: I have to confess that I'm bored. I think Moose is bored, too. [for occasional Diary readers, Moose is my ultra-secret diary name for Michelle]. Just how many days can you spend whacking a small  ball around the same course,  eating the same dinner of steak, yam fries and collard greens, then gathering the family around  a TV to watch Jeopardy? I get enough real-life jeopardy from Vlad Putin. Moose always announces the answers in that superior tone of hers, so I don't even get the  pleasure of showing off my knowledge of geography in front of the kids. Even Wheel of Fortune is too similar to my own decision-making processes in the Oval Office to hold my interest for long. I must hit up one of my aides for some Maui Wowie to break me out of this funk. I am longing to get back to the White House where  Valjar and I can hunch together over our cauldron, chant "double, double, toil and trouble," throw in eye of Newt and toe of frog and resume GOP-baiting. I am also well overdue for a soothing session with Dr S.H. Rink, psychiatrist to the eminent and distinguished, such as I, whose massive bills are picked up by the military. No Obamacare for me, thank you. I understand that dingy Harry Reid fell off an item of gym equipment yesterday and broke some bones in his face. I have tried hard not to laugh; but the thought of Harry on a treadmill brings tears to my eyes, and, as for broken bones in his face: how can a person tell?

Bumper sticker of the year