4/30/12

Obama fails the middle class

Four years ago Obama campaigned on the  the fact that the  middle class was losing ground, promising a turn-around. But three years into his presidency, the  middle-class crisis has only deepened. Read it all.
[Thanks: BJS]

Seals Slam Obama over Osama

Navy SEALs are angry at being exploited as election fodder by Barack Obama. Toby Harnden of The Daily Mail reveals more
[Thanks: BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Forward!  We have officially revealed our  slogan for the campaign,  I love it!  'Forward' contains the the dynamic  youthfulness that I exemplify.  I disagree with those who think it means four  more years the same as the past four. [ It does of, course, but  'forward' means whatever you want it to mean.] Forward !  To me it sounds so virile and purposeful, if I say so myself. And I do. Some snarky blogger suggested that Romney  should hit back with 'Upward'. There's talk again of  Chris Christie running with Romney. I hope so. With Marco Rubio I would have to dial up my 'cool' factor even more.  Talking of which, I'm still refining my spoken Spanish in preparation for  the Cinco de Mayo party at the White House. "Forward!  Forward! Vamanos! Vamanos!  How cool is that?  Now it's time for buenos noches and to cuddle up with Boo-Boo, my blankey, um-num-num-um. Boo-boo always  make Barry feel better. And so to bed.

Honoring the Seals

[From Aftermath]

Upward with Mitt

 Obama's  new slogan is 'Forward'
For us, how about  'Upward' ?

Obama's deficit attention disorder


"This president was sold as someone who could rise above Washington’s partisanship. Instead, he’s supervising it." Keith Koffler, normally at White House Dossier, eviscerates Obama on Politico
Read it all.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

4/29/12

Obama's great lie about oil

 President Obama  claims we can't even  sustain our current oil consumption, yet Goldman Sachs predicted that the US will be the world's largest oil producer by 2017. Here are nine other mind-blowing estimates  of the gigantic size of  US energy reserves, which some assert will last  into the 23rd century.

The fundraiser-in-chief

 If you suspect that  Barack Obama  has been doing an unusual amount of  re-election fundraising you are correct. He has held more re-election fundraisers than the  previous five Presidents combined.  More evidence that  Dems are seriously worried about NovemberMore here.

Freedom comes to dinner

The White House Correspondents' Dinner  can  be pain  in the rear, with its  smug, self-congratulatory preening by politicians, journos and comedians,  the endless in-jokes, the irrelevant  celebs (why Lindsay Lohan, for heaven's sake?) But irritating as it can be, it is powerful on another level. It celebrates a  healthy  public  skepticism towards those in power.  Try to imagine Muamar Gaddafi, Hitler, Stalin  or  Mamhoud Ahmedinehjad standing before an audience  and making jokes about  themselves. Not gonna happen.  Tyrants have no sense of humor. Thank God we still do.

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: I have a blinding  face-ache after the White House Correspondents' Dinner,  having to grin all evening at every jest,  however feeble.   As for Me, I was hilariously  funny, if I  may say so myself, and I do. The audience were so astonished at the sublime humor of some of  my jokes  that,  instead of laughing they fell into awed silence. Hillary looked daggers at me when I joked about her drunk-texting from Cartagena.  I'm glad that I canned the original joke: " I did not have textual intercourse with that... woman."  No sense of humor in Hillary. None at all.
I  am still rehearsing my Spanish in preparation for  the White  House  Cinco de Mayo party. "Hola, Jennifer Lopez, que pasa? "  and  "Hola,  Marco Rubio!  Eat alligators, bitch."  I'm  dog  very tired. A quick prayer of congratulations to Myself, close laptop, then slide into bed with Boo-boo, my blankey. Barry love Boo-boo.. um-num-num-um...Buenos noches, Boo-boo. Hasta la vista, Diary. And so to bed.

4/28/12

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  I'm refreshing my  basic Spanish  skills for our upcoming Cinco de Mayonnaise celebration at the  Casa Blanca. Gotta re-enthuse  that important Latino vote, like this:  "Hola! Como esta?" which means, "Hello, how are you?" And--  only for use by a cool prez like Me -- "Que pasa?" which means " Wassup bro?"
 Pretty good, huh? Though I say so myself... and I do. I must try that out on Sonia Sottomayor when I ask her why she's making trouble  in the Supreme Court. " Hola, Que pasa Sonia? Why are you guys in SCOTUS  questioning POTUS?"  Meanwhile,  maybe  Axelrod  can start a rumor that Mitt Romney used to eat  terrier tacos and make  his Guatemalan gardener ride of the roof of the station wagon. It's been a long day and it's time to say  a prayer to myself and cuddle up with Boo-boo my blankey... um-num-num-um...  Buenos noches, Boo-booAnd so to bed. 

Dissolute desk


"Lighten up, Joe, it's just a used desk"

4/27/12

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Mitt woos Rubio

"Marco, you're a great  fit. Mom
 jeans would make you perfect."

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  A masterstroke by yours truly, if I say so myself, and I do. On the anniversary of Bin Laden's  death, I will be the center of attention  being interviewed by  Brian Williams of NBC -- here's the masterstroke -- in the White House situation room. Blogger  Keith Koffler at his White House Dossier, is outraged by the breach of security  and  sarcastically suggests a tour of the nuclear codes as a sequel.  Yes! Maybe slow jam them with  Jay-Z: " I da prez: 5r-47-89-2. Vladimir Putin,  we  gonna  nuke all  of you..."
Quote McRaven:
never more
 The whole event was aranged to remind people of the narrative of  my  gutsy and inspired approval of the raid on Bin Laden. Of course, the Republicans say it was all planned and run by Admiral McRaven and all I did was nod approval.  But  my trusty lapdogs at NBC will expunge him and quote McRaven never more. Time for bed, for Boo-boo my blankey, and all's right with the world. Um-num-num-um, Barry love Boo-boo.

Pass the eye bleach: Edwards sex tape admissible

The judge in the John Edwards trial has rejected a bid by Edwards' former mistress to sharply restrict what the court and the public can hear about a sex tape the couple made together. More here

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[Cagle Cartoons]

Coolest President ever

"Hi, handsome, you make these steps look goood"

Cartoon: Alastair Graham



"Michelle's fantasy is to  walk out of the
 White House and keep walking. Great idea."

4/26/12

Dropping like flies

Aftermath ]

Mom jeans

"Barack, do you have any mom jeans
 to spare?  Ann gave  mine to Goodwill."

Wy it's Wryday, Wryday

Chris Wysocki at Wyblog has wryly renamed today as Take your Daughter to the Unemployment Office Day. More  here. 

Shudder of the Year: law allows sex after death

Pass the brain bleach:  A law making it legal for a  husband  to have sex with his  wife for six hours after her death is being considered by Egypt's  parliament. Let us not forget that Obama openly supported  President Mubarak's downfall, which ultimately  led to this. Details and  links here

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: This job can be incredibly frustrating:  like knowing I am as cool as Kanye and yet constantly being mocked for wearing mom jeans. One hack even wrote that journos who think I'm cool wouldn't  know cool if it came out of a pigeon's ass and hit them in the face. Au contraire,  as Nicolas  Sarkozy might say:  Just look at the way I handled  things after a student spilled yogurt on me. A  wipe with a napkin, then a quick change in the rear of the Beast  into the spare suit that Marv stores  in the trunk  for such occasions.  Now the restaurant where that incident  occurred was so dazzled by my cool that it has named a parfait  of Greek yogurt and fresh berries after Me. How cool is  that? It's bedtime and I must take a moment to  say a prayer of thanks  to Myself, close the lap top and get Boo-boo My blankey out from under My pillows. Barry love blankey... um-num-num-um. Boo-boo, at least, knows I'm truly cool. And so to bed.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Lede of the Year

"Personally I’m not a fan of sex – I’ve always regarded it as a disappointing substitute for a cup of tea. But the American public seems to disagree." -- Tim Stanley in The Telegraph.
Read it all

4/25/12

Nudge, nudge, Brink, Brink

[ From: Aftermath]

'POTUS with the Mostus'

Best Buy, Worst Buy

Best Buy is in bad shape. Is it any wonder? Here's one reason

Obama destroyer No.2

Another Obama-destroyer from the RNC  [h/t Adrienne ]

Obama destroyer No.1

This RNC ad  is an Obama destroyer. [Thanks BJS]

Farm kids bite back over Obama job rules

The Obama administration [most of whom couldn't tell a pig from a boar ] want  to stop children from doing family  farm chores. This has drawn plenty of criticism from rural-district members of Congress. But now it’s attracting barbs from farm kids themselves. Here's why

[Thanks BJS]

Priceless interview with Wasserman-Shultz


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A disappointment for my exalted self today. Advance reviews of  my sublimely witty appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show are less  than ecstatic.  I was superb, though I say so myself, and I do. I  showed  how I am able to run the free world, and slow-jam a campaign speech at the same time. What  more do they want? For me to do it on a motorcycle while juggling dog's heads chainsaws? 
[Note to self:  While I'm thinking of chainsaws, It's high time we ousted Debbie MiracleWhip-Shultz from the DNC. As fast as I recapture voters with late-night TV appearances, she's scaring them off  with her abrasive manner and mayonnaise-coated hair.]  Talking of scary women, Michelle has put down her vegetable-gardening book   and is  calling me to the Presidential bed. Time for my accustomed  brief prayer to myself. And so to bed, there to sleep and  surrender to the embrace of Boo-boo my blankey who's waiting under my pillow. Barry love Boo-boo, um-num-num-um

Obama widens race rift

A powerful post from Powerline: "Millions of Americans voted for Obama in part because they thought his election would put racial division to rest, or at least contribute to that goal. But the opposite has happened. Obama has been an extraordinarily divisive president; neither he nor others in his administration, like Eric Holder, have ever hesitated to foment race hatred when they thought it would serve the Democrats’ political interests. As it turned out, Obama’s election represented a setback for race relations in the United States, an outcome that virtually no one foresaw..."
Read it all

Fleeing Obamanomics

[ From Aftermath]

President Dork

Jimmy Kimmel says it's difficult to come up with jokes about a guy as "cool" as Obama. Cool? Real Man magazine disagrees:
"Who the hell are these people in the press that talk about how ‘cool’ Obama is? This goofball is definitely not cool.  As a matter of fact, he’s the antithesis of cool.  The guys that call him ‘cool’?  They tend to be limp-wristed, panty-waisted, metro-sexual, geeks.  They wouldn’t know cool if it dropped out of a pigeon’s butt and hit them in the face.  Why do you think these guys in the media aren’t poking fun at Obama or calling him a dork – because he dresses, talks, and acts just like they do..."


Now, that's cool!

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

4/24/12

It's Mitt all the way

Mitt Romney romped home  late Tuesday  night with CNN calling victory in all five primaries. Details here

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A long, long, day,  motivating young voters from North Carolina to Colorado. Included was  a taping  of the Jimmy Fallon Show.  Fallon  unexpectedly asked about the Secret Service debacle. Awkwaaard... I was expecting the usual softball questions. But I handled it well, though I say so myself, and I do. I smoothly blamed  a 'couple of knuckleheads.''  Of course,  it's was  a tad more than that, but most  TV hosts are too overcome with awe to harass me  with follow-up questions.  Then on to Boulder  Colorado where a flustered student  spilled yogurt on my pants. Talking of pants  the Cartagena  debacle continues with Senator Chuck Grassley demanding to know  details of our internal inquiry which cleared White House  staff  of inappropriate conduct. Grassley wants to know  things like  exactly how many  WH Staff  had overnight guests in their rooms.  Sigh...a leader's work is never done. Mutt  Mitt seems to have wrapped up his nomination late tonight. With that I must close the laptop, say a fervent prayer to myself, renew acquaintance with Boo-boo, my blankey, um-num-num-um, Barry love Boo-boo.  And so to bed, trying not dream about Ann Romney measuring the  Oval Office for drapes.

Another Dem nightmare: Dalai Lama 'loves' President Bush

In another nightmare for progressives: The Dalai Lama expresses his  great affection  for  President Bush.

The Dems worst nightmare: A living American Dream

We brought you news of this remarkable woman a couple of days ago. She is the Republican nominee for the Congressional 4th District in Utah and  she is the  embodiment of the American Dream. Be afraid Democrats, be very afraid.

Mitt Romney's on the line, sir...

"Hello, Mitt? Are you saying that Ann 
wants to measure for drapes?"

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

What in Gaia's name will progressives target now?

James Lovelock, guru of global warming activists,  now admits his warnings were  "alarmist" . Full credit  to him for honesty.  But watch how progressives quickly  find another all-encompassing reason to regulate the rest of us. More here

Trayvon aftermath: mob beats man

The race baiters have succeeded. Mathew Owens, a white man,  was on his porch  in Mobile, Alabama, when a  mob  of  20 black men beat him so savagely that he had to be hospitalized and remains in critical condition. Owens' sister alleges that, as the mob left, one  man said: "Now that's justice for Trayvon."  
Don't hold your breath  awaiting a concerned reaction from Sharpton, Obama, et al.  Details here.

Hasta la vista, Obama: Voting with their feet (2)

For the first time since the Great Depression, more Mexicans are leaving the US than entering. Here's why.
[Thanks: BJS]

4/23/12

California leaving: Voting with their feet (1)

The Golden State's fastest-growing entity is government and its biggest product is red tape. The first thing that comes to many American minds when you mention California isn't Hollywood or tanned girls on a beach, but  Greece. Californians are increasingly pursuing happiness elsewhere. Read more
[Thanks BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Whoah! As if I didn't have enough problems with the Secret Service  debacle and  the GSA scandal, now the Government Accounting Office has objected to my  neat plan to defer changes to Medicare Advantage until after my inevitable re-election [when I will have more "flexibility"] It  would only cost $8.3 billion, which is  chump change next to  the $15 trillion deficit. It is a plan of  pure genius, though I say so myself. And I do.
Meantime, the  Cartagena debacle is getting way out of hand. Now trouble-makers  are inquiring  about the conduct of my staff in Cartagena, among them Marvellous Marv my trip director, whose behavior is without blemish.  Carney has so far  fended off the  media hacks effectively,  but Joe Lieberman is a determined old geezer and not easily deterred.  Talking about geezers, Mr Queen, Prince Philip, or whatever he calls himself came up with the perfect words to describe this day when I  accidentally stood on his foot during my visit to Buckingham Palace a year ago: "Bloody hell!" quoth the Prince. Today has truly  been  a day of 'bloody hell'. Now for a prayer of consolation to myself.  Close the laptop. And so to bed.

Nigel nukes Eurocrats

I wish we had  British politician  Nigel Farage  in Congress to eviscerate Democrats  the way he does Eurocrats in the European parliament who also think big government is our salvation. Nigel says no:

The Pinko Panther

[The Looking Spoon]

Obama's $8.3 billion election maneuver

The New York Post has a disturbing revelation: "Call it President Obama’s Committee for the Re-Election of the President — a political slush fund at the Health and Human Services Department. Only this isn’t some little fund from shadowy private sources; this is taxpayer money, redirected to help Obama win another term. A massive amount of it, too — $8.3 billion. Yes, that’s billion, with a B." Read it all

Dim prospects


Obama 'trying to put US seas under UN law'

President Obama’s plan for stepped up government regulation of the oceans includes an unreported effort to cede U.S. oceans to United Nations-based international law, KleinOnline has learned. Details here

4/22/12

For the Love of Mia

Conservative Mia Love has won the GOP's  4th Congressional district's nomination. Gateway Pundit has her inspiring story and  her campaign  video:

Mitt finds his voice

Don Surber thinks Mitt Romney is at last  finding his voice. See if you agree. We're  certainly a long way from 'Anyone But Mitt.'  Read it all

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: David 'The Ax' Axelrod has been doing damage control  today over the GSA scandal, saying  on  Meet the Press that I was "apoplectic" with anger over it. Rather, I was incandescent  25-watt compact-fluorescent with rage-- to be PC about it. [Note to historians: I am always PC.]  There is no doubt -- since I am, infallible--  that I am surrounded by "bloody  incompetents" -- a phrase I picked up from Mr Queen, the  Duke of Edinburgh, who used it to describe the U.S. Secret Service after they  managed  to get one of our limos  stuck on a British railroad crossing. If I had paid attention to the old geezer, I would have been able to clean  house before the Colombia prostitute debacle.  Time for bed and Boo-boo, my blankey who is certainly not bloody incompetent. Barry love Boo-boo um-num-num-um.

Clooney Tunes

The Obama campaign is running a sweepstakes with a $3 entry fee. First prize is dinner at George Clooney's LA  mansion with Clooney and the President. Second  prize:  Two  dinners?

Iran clones drone


Iran claimed Sunday that it had reverse-engineered an American drone and it has begun building a copy. So far the result  [left] looks very impressive. If  the Iranian deficit suddenly starts multiplying,we'll know  their scientists have been completely successful.

Cartoon: Aussie exit

[Peter Broelman, Australia]

4/21/12

'If I wanted America to fail...'

A powerful video that says it all
[h/t Adrienne]




























Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  A better day. The dog-eating hysteria has died to a whimper. Same goes for the Secret Service debacle. Great weather in  DC this morning so Me, Biden,  Mike Brush and Marvelous Marv motorcaded  to Andrews for golf. I played my usual immaculate game, taking calls between holes to keep up with events. It's no surprise that my czars are awed by my ability to multitask. Today, I put a digital recorder in my shirt pocket to record a sample of dialog for  myriad biographies that will be written about my incomparable, shining presidency. "OK, give a me five iron.  Yeah, Leon, it's OK to use a drone to take  out  al-Assad... hold for a second...Janet, you want to fire Director Sullivan for the Cartagena screw-up?  No, first  let's wait to see what dirt he's got on all of us, Joe in particular. I'll have the putter now... hey, Joe, what the heck!  How did your ball  get a foot nearer  the hole... Leon are you still there? I've  got no problem with stepping up drone attacks in Yemen...Fore!"
 Yes, my  nimble multitasking is  breathtaking to hear, though I say so myself...and I do. I guess it's that time again, close the laptop,  say a brief prayer to myself and join Michelle  who is still awake, reading. And so to bed and the restorative touch of Boo-boo, my blankey who love Barry, um-num-num-um...

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Occupy this, academia nuts"
The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards a group of US professors attending an 'Occupy' conference in Tehran, Iran. See these  fine patriots here.

4/20/12

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Hookers downgrade US credit

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Days after Secret Service agents shortchanged a group of prostitutes in Colombia, the international trade group representing hookers downgraded the United States’ credit rating from AAA to B. Read it all.
[Thanks BJS]

The War on Terrier



Free Republic has these delightful additions to the dog meme

The deadly serious side of eating dog

Who Obama is and why he thinks as he does. Read it all at  Bob Belvedere's The Camp of the Saints here.

Welcome

Welcome, Legal Insurrection readers!

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  My tolerance for endless  jokes about my eating dogs is wearing very thin. It rips me inside to see my exalted self mocked by bottom-feeding bloggers, MSM hacks and other primordial creatures. A sample:
Q: What does Obama call a  mutt? 
A: Trail mix.
 Marv my marvelous body guy usually notices when I'm down and suggests shooting some hoops. He's always careful to  lose against me which restores my self-esteem.The Secret Service debacle  rages on. I'm not sure how long we can shield Director Sullivan before throwing him under the campaign bus that's ready in the driveway (not idling, of course)
Well...it's been a long and tiring day,  Marv has laid Boo-boo, my blankey, under my pillow so I can rub my cheek with the satin edging after wake in a sweat from my recurring nightmare of  Romney measuring the Oval Office for drapes.  Boo-boo... um-num-num, always making Barry feel  better.  Michelle is calling me. After a quick prayer to myself, I will close the lap top. And so bed.

4/19/12

Bumper to Bumper

This is the official new Democrat bumper sticker. For conservatives we suggest: NOT A DOOFUS.

Barack... slip sliding away

"Ridicule is the most potent political weapon. Obama is rapidly looking less and less like a President and more and more like an inept pol who’s also something of a doofus. Romney looks like a President, he acts and talks like a President; Obama was always surrounded by a rock star aura...Obama will always have his groupies, but his hold on the Oval Office is slipping away."  Read more at The Virginian

Work AND get unemployment benefits

Obama plans to allow workers to "test" new jobs while still drawing unemployment benefits.  A perfect solution
for newly-unemployed Secret Service agents.

The War on Terrier

"I knew you'd play the dog card"


[Alastair Graham]

Cookies: Time to bite back

The latest half-baked Dem  attack on Romney involves  small-talk about cookies in Pittsburgh.  I guess we'll  have to bite back:  
What does Obama call a Chihuahua? 
Lunch.

4/18/12

Doggone hilarious

What fun the dog meme has been! Here's the last word [via Hot Air]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A long and stressful day:  a photo-op meeting with  students seeking jobs in Ohio and  then two fundraisers in Detroit. With  the price of jet fuel  the way it is, I'm glad that it's not  on my Visa card. Then  along comes this dog-eating Internet meme with bloggers making  jokes about  chicken poodle soup, claims that  Bo is missing and  people demanding to see pictures of him alongside today's newspaper.  Hardy, har, har. And to cap  it all a rumor has now blown up-- if you will -- about a sex tape involving a State Dept. official on a roof in Baghdad. On a roof ? This is in addition to the Secret Service  prostitution debacle.  Has everybody gone insane? How dare they smear my deservedly  messianic reputation.
David "The Ax" Axelrod has ordered a driver to bring my campaign bus to the White House  so  we can  throw  Mark Sullivan  under it when an 'internal investigation' unsurprisingly reveals that the buck [or rather,  the $47 bucks] stops with the Director of the Secret Service. Boo-boo my blankey is under my pillow, um-num-num. A quick prayer to myself. And so to bed.

It's Bo time...

"Your lunch is here, Mr. President"







Bill's baack!

[The Looking Spoon]

Cartoon: Paul Zanetti

[Paul Zanetti, Australia]

Top tweets about Obama eating dog meat

Something tells me that we're not going to hear much more about Mitt Romney's pooch riding  on the roof of his station wagon decades ago. Don't miss these Tweets.   By the way, anyone here seen Bo?

4/17/12

Christie open to VP discussion

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie left the door slightly open when asked how he would react if offered the Vice Presidency by Mitt Romney. Read it all.

Holder's secretive protest team

Who are the Peacemakers?   And what is the real purpose of the DoJ 's secretive  team monitoring the Trayvon Martin protests? Find out more

President Zero

[The Looking Spoon]

Obama throws Brits under bus

British troops have fought bravely since 2001 -- and 400 have died -- alongside US troops in Afghanistan. Now Obama has repaid our closest ally by refusing  to oppose Argentina's renewed  bid  to colonize the Falkland Islands whose inhabitants wish to remain British. Good move, Barack, that should encourage the Brits to stand by our side in future crises. More here

Romney 48%, Obama 43%!

The latest Gallup poll has Romney 5% ahead of Obama  among registered voters if a general election were held now. Details here

Obama runs out of gas

Obama grasped the thorn of high gas prices during a speech in the White House Rose Garden today. You gotta hand it to the guy, he's consistent:  Blame someone else for a problem -- in this case "speculators" --   then point lots of taxpayer money at the problem -- in this case $52 million for additional  market oversight. Even then, said the Great One,  he can't solve the problem overnight.  Clearly, when it comes to real solutions,  he's running on fumes.

Hookergate: Girls underage?

Uh-oh ...Just when the  Colombian hooker scandal was blowing over, so to speak, comes news that some of the girls may have been underage.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

From hope to hypocrisy

Devastating...

[ThanksBH, Sydney]

4/16/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Boo-boo to the rescue
 Dear Diary: Home again and not a moment too soon. The dead-tree media  have been having a field day with  pictures of Hillary living la vida loca at some Cartagena dive while  chugging a bottle of  Colombian rotgut. A Brit newspaper is asking if Hillary is becoming an embarrassment. Becoming? Then came the fuss about my referring to  the Falkland islands as the Maldives not the Malvinas which upset the Albanians who claim it as theirs...Oh wait ... maybe it's the Argentinians. Whatever.  All this in the wake of the  mortifying Secret Service debacle. I asked Jarrett and Axelrod to arrange for the senior executives of the Secret service to be coated with honey and  hung by their wiggly bits over the South Lawn  beehive. I can hear their cries as I write. Music to my ears. I must get a grip... Time to say a prayer to myself, close the laptop and so to bed. Marv has slipped Boo-boo my blankey under my pillow. I will cuddle him and try to ignore  the noise outside. Not that I'm a vindictive person. Maybe ants will find those bastids during the night and slowly pick the flesh from their bones. Not that I'm a vindictive person. Far from it. Barry love Boo-boo...um-num-num.

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Kinky Lede of the Week

The Secret Service has stripped 11 agents tied to a prostitution scandal  in Colombia of their "Top Secret" clearances... Read the rest.

Cavorting on your dime

If you've just mailed a sizable check to the IRS,  you might want to avoid looking at these pictures of government employees living high on the taxpayer hog. Not good for your blood pressure.
[Thanks BJS]

Hangover Monday

"In case you need a hair of the dog, 
Vladimir sent this vodka" 

Cartoon: Manny Francisco

[Manny Francisco, Manila, The Phillippines]

Hillary's Political Party

Apparently, it wasn't just Secret Service agents who hit the bottle in Colombia.  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sipped a brewski straight from the  bottle while she was in Cartagena. 

Chaining Obama


A Loving Husband


4/15/12

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Barack Obama's Diary

Boo-boo!...Um-num-num
Dear Diary: My last day in Cartagena, Colombia, draws to a close.  I spent most of my time on productive side-meetings with leaders. But I noticed how often they exchanged knowing looks  and  smirks at my expense over the Secret Service debacle. Next an aggravator  aggregator   like Drudge will  start calling it Hookergate and the label will spread like typhoid. I've heard from Jarrett and  Axelrod that my hard work  down here has been  completely overshadowed  in the media by the scandal, just as I had feared. I am not just angry. I am incandescent  compact-fluorescent with rage.  To quote the Bhagavad Gita "I am become Death the Destroyer of Worlds." The Secret Service is going to need another Secret Service to protect itself from me when I return to DC. Marvelous Marv has laid out my jammies,  a small bowl  of  my favorite Planter's trail mix and my blankey Boo-boo.  Dude's a genius.Time to say a prayer to Myself. And so to bed and Boo-boo's comforting embrace. Barry loves his Boo-boo... num-um-num-num...

The upside of hooker haggling

 Reason sees an upside to  the Secret Service scandal: "...police were called in over  haggling about a $47 fee between a hooker and a Secret Service agent ...
This was a rare and laudable example of a Department of Homeland Security employee trying to save taxpayers some money..."

Gossip, rumors, truths and cover-ups

Shssssh...  Laughing Conservative spills the beans:
Gossip has it  that the Secret Service prostitution scandal at the Summit  of the Americas in Colombia  was sparked by agents' ignorance of local law which allows hotels  to make an extra charge if  a woman  goes to a man's room. Double fail: evidence of undisciplined conduct, but also evidence of poor pre-planning and research by a team  charged with protecting a hotel full of Administration aides and staff. Even before the current scandal, morale at the agency was rumored  to be low --with protectors hostile towards management that they felt did not support them  sufficiently in disputes with protectees.
Rumor has it that Amanda Bynes, who allegedly  sideswiped a cop car at 3 a.m., is the latest starlet to suffer from Britney/Lindsay Syndrome
There's Gossip that the Obama SuperPac may have return Bill Maher's million-dollar donation  after Maher went go too far in insulting conservative women.

4/14/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: You would think that an eminent  personage  like Myself could catch a break from the media hacks while I'm far from home at the Summit of the Americas in Cartagena, Colombia.  But no. It seems some Secret Service guys [not my personal detail] decided to have night on the town before my arrival. A prostitute was said to have  been hired and then not paid, so she laid a complaint, if you will. Now the whole daggone advance team has been recalled to the US. I  thought I had planned for everything at this summit... I even have an agent  checking  constantly for open mikes so I don't have my private comments to other leaders on my "flexibility" broadcast to the world. Now comes this disaster: Instead of having a spotlight shine on Myself  warming the hearts of those  millions of Latino voters back home, I have become a mere footnote to this sordid tale of deceit and debauchery.  The conference at  the castle of San Felipe de Barajas, an ancient but still functional structure [kinda like Joe Biden] concluded without any major problems.  Now I am preparing for bed. Marvelous Marv has laid out my jammies and Boo-boo, my blankey, plus one of my favorite  MET-rx protein bars in case I wake in the middle of the night  jet-lagged  and hungry. My personal Secret Service detail are on duty so I can sleep soundly. Now for my prayer to myself, and so to bed.

Warthog of the Week

Warthog of the Week is President Bashar al-Assad of Syria who is starting to kill his  own people again only three days after the ceasefire which he agreed to went  into  effect.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

4/13/12

An Obama e-mail hacked

From: BHO
To:  V. Jarrett
cc:  D. Axelrod; J. Carney
[bcc: S.Fluke]


Why the heck has Romney been warning that I'm going to  to  weaken  the 2nd Amendment after my re-election? On the contrary, Michelle insists on the right to bare arms.  I support her view.
Best,
Barack

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Democrat sexual harassment alleged

A former North Carolina Democratic Party staffer was allegedly sexually harassed by a party official, made a financial settlement with the party and signed a non-disclosure agreement to keep the incident quiet, emails obtained by The Daily Caller suggest. Read more.
UPDATE: Names named here.

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: What a day! I slept badly on Thursday night, waking in a cold sweat after a nightmare about a Million Mom March to the White House to protest Hilary Rosen's comments on Ann Romney. Marv my body man, woke me early to grab some breakfast, then on to Andrews to board AF1 for The Summit of the Americas in Colombia. We stopped in Tampa on the way, then onward to Colombia. The opening dinner was good [no peas.]  Now I'm  going to bed early after a prayer to myself. Marv has laid out my blue jammies and my pink blankey, Boo-boo.  And so to bed.  Barry love Boo-boo... um-num-num... Tomorrow  the summit begins. 

Rosengate 'manufactured'

MSNBC's Chuck Todd  managed to say eight times in a segment on the Hilary Rosen / Ann Romney brouhaha  today that it was a manufactured controversy. Who are you kidding, Up-Chuck:  Virtually all 'controversies' are manufactured / inflated  by media to win  an increased audience. More here

Who's the man pretending to be President?

Andrew Malcolm, in a devastating account of  the transformation  of Obama writes: "... This 2012 Obama is strident and mean, even deceitful, divisive, telling half-truths after half-truths. He's using Air Force One as his personal Brinks truck with wings to collect cash all over the country, disguising the trips as official..." Read it all

What if the government rejects the Constitution?

A chilling piece by Judge Andrew Napolitano. Don't miss it.
[Thanks:BJS]

4/12/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Yikes, what a day! Jarrett, Axelrod, Carney, Michelle and even Me Myself have been in full disaster-recovery mode over accusations by a  campaign strategist who cast aspersions on Ann Romney for 'never having worked a day in her life' and therefore not understanding economics.
Heck, I have barely  worked  at all, and look the success I have had with  economic policy and totally  reversing the recession:  Brilliant... though I say so myself ...and I do. You don't often hear the word 'marvelous' used in connection  with economics. But in my case  the word is entirely appropriate.
There has been some gossip  among media hacks about my losing weight. Well, if anyone else was put on a diet  consisting largely of M.'s home-grown and  frozen sugar-snap peas they would be looking somewhat gaunt, too. Time for a prayer to myself, to shut the laptop and so to bed and the calming ministrations of Boo-boo, my blankey. Umm-num-num, Boo-boo always make Barry feel better.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

NASA told: Stay out of climate debate


A group of former NASA employees, including astronauts, has called on the agency to stop making "unproven and unsubstantiated remarks" regarding global climate change — specifically that human activities are driving global warming. Read it all
[Thanks: BJS]

Ask Cabby: Advice comes free with the fare

Dear Cabby:  I once complained that my secretary pays more of her income in tax than I do. Now Obama  wants to name a swath of  increases the "Buffet tax" and  it's making me very unpopular. What shall I do? --W.B., Omaha.


Dear W.B.: Whatcha doin' in a yellow cab? You can afford a limo service, you gotta problem widdat? Limo drivers gotta make a livin' too ya know. As for your not  payin' enough  tax. Are you  kiddin' me? Just cut a goddam check, mail it to the IRS, and fuggedaboudit. And tell dat big-eared boob in da Oval Office to call it da 'Obama tax', which is what it is. Here's da Stock Exchange. Hey, you call dat a tip? Goddam Nebraska tightwad-- Cabby.