DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report) – Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was overjoyed today after finishing the Iowa caucuses in a virtual tie with a walking joke who wears sweater vests.
“The eight people have spoken!” exclaimed Mr. Romney, who was joined by supporters celebrating his .0006% margin of victory. The former Massachusetts governor put the best face on his razor-thin lead, telling supporters, “Say what you will, but eight votes is still six more than Rick Perry can count.” More here.
