Dear Cabby: A ride with our advice columnist

Dear Cabby:  I'm still absolutely and completely the best hope for the Republicans to defeat  Obama. I've  even fired  some of my campaign staff to stretch my  budget and stay in the race.  If you pay me $50 I will pose with  you for a photograph outside of Tiffany's. -- Newt G.

Dear Newt G.: You gotta be kiddin' me, right?  Fuggedaboudit. You'll pay the goddam fare to Tiffany's or I'll drop you  and your blonde at  the nearest Precinct House and they'll  take your mugshot for free. You gotta problem widdat? --Cabby