Dear Diary: One of the worst things about being president, is the way I'm misunderstood. For example, I'm taking flak for a leak about the underwear bomb and the fact that a CIA double agent was used. Well, It turns out that the agent was Yemeni and recruited by the Brits and they claim that the whole operation is now screwed . But these things fade into insignificance compared with the importance of my re-election. How much happier the masses will be if I am able to make the important decisions for them. Barry knows best. And stuff the Brits, anyway, for colonizing the land of my father. People claim that Seal Team Six was a closely guarded secret until I trumpeted the success they attained under my direction. How much more important it is that voters see my mighty accomplishments than some military unit keeps its pointless anonymity. Marvin, my trip director has retrieved Boo-boo my blankey and Boo-boo awaits me now, after a quick prayer to myself. Boo-boo is a true secret, known only to me and Marv, aren't you Boo-boo, um-num-num-um...zzzz...
