Dear Diary: I'm singin' in the Ryan! I'm happy as a Kenyan Hawaiian high-schooler on Maui-wowie. Would-be VP Paul Ryan today called on the nation to return to pride in the achievements of fellow Americans. Meantime I have hooked most of my supporters on the heroin of envy: a signature achievement of my magnificent presidency. November will be a shoo-in for me. I am somewhat anxious that the addition of Ryan may make my Mittmares even more terrifying...both of them prancing around, smoothing down their perfect hair and chanting: "We are the Comeback Team." I have been in Chicago all day, exploring strategies at my campaign headquarters. Tomorrow I will be a singular sensation here , with five -- yes five -- separate fundraisers. I hope, by the time I leave the city on Taxpayer One, there won't be as much as a buck left to buy a kid a candy bar. My blankey Boo-boo has been sorely tried these last few nights keeping Mitt out of my dreams. I hope the addition of Ryan doesn't exhaust his magical powers. Barry luv Boo-boo, um-num-num-um...zzzzz...
