Dear Diary: I was delighted with Bill Clinton's tribute last night, even if he did get carried away with his own ego and delayed my appearance by 20 minutes. But he did make up for it with a appropriate bow to my majesty when he finally stopped talking and I was at last able to walk on stage. I could get used to this bowing and scraping by the rich, powerful and famous. Tonight is the night of my acceptance speech when I will boast of my promises kept, which are..er... It will be crowning moment when a tidal wave of awe and love will engulf the nation. And even if the reign of King Barack lasts for 1,000 years they will say: " This was his finest hour."
