Barack Obama's Diary: War looms

Dear Diary: I visited some of the stricken areas of  New York today and looked suitably concerned and Presidential as only I can. One woman asked where I've been all this time. I blame Clint Eastwood for this  attitude that the President is the servant of  the People. Where will it end.... with my mowing lawns? Talking  of being Presidential, I am  now aboard Air Force One en route to the White House for a reception for the cast of Lincoln. Let me be clear: I like to keep Spielberg on side for the epic movie he will make one day of my extraordinary and inspiring years at the helm of this ..uh...country.  Bibi called earlier asking if we could throw a bucket of uh... iced water on our rutting generals and ask them  to pay close attention to the escalating uh... situation in Gaza. He says it will likely be all-out war by morning.