Barack Obama's Diary: A peace of pecan pie

'"I'm gonna wring Bam's scrawny neck!"
Dear Diary: Aaah...Thanksgiving: that time of year  when I  am profoundly grateful for my genius and  global leadership skills. I am told that the Ruskies are suggesting  that I've been firing generals because I'm afraid of a coup. I know Vlad Putin would personally love to wring my neck, but my generals have been too busy humping anything with  a pulse to have energy for anything else. Meantime, a glorious peace has descended upon  the White House. Joe and Jill Biden have high-tailed it to Nantucket, while Hillary is trying to put out fires in the Mid-East and I'm back here in DC, dreaming of pecan pie and ice cream.