Dear Diary: I played a round golf with Bill Clinton at Joint Base Andrews today; with us were Trade Representative Ron Kirk and Virginia gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe. As usual they were all captivated by my skill and ability to multitask. As we drove between holes I called Bibi and told him to cool it with his West Bank settlement plans. Then I approved a drone strike in Yemen. Ron and Terry looked suitably impressed but Bill seemed distracted until we passed a a pair of lady golfers who were half his age and he suddenly yelled: "Girls, wanna see my bent putter?" Terry, red faced, put the pedal to the metal and we sped towards the next hole. Bill looked back, laughing, while pointing to his thigh.
