Barack Obama's Diary: Take a hike

Dear Diary: John Boehner, having rejected my perfectly reasonable Fiscal Cliff offer, today came back with a counter offer of a $800 billion hike in revenue gained through tax reform, with no tax increase on the top 2% of taxpayers. As if. It will take as long as Nancy Pelosi's expression requires to change before I'll ever agree to that. And that, my friends, is a long, long time.
Things are getting crowded at home now that Michelle has crammed 54 Christmas trees into the White House halls. Soon I'll need a GPS to find Jarrett and Axelrod to ask for approval of my decisions.
The President of Bulgaria showed up for a courtesy visit. I gave the media my standard spiel about Bulgaria being a loyal ally in the Middle East and being a small country "punching above its weight." For some unfathomable reason, President Borissov suddenly assumed a sour expression. I could have sworn Bulgaria was in the Middle East, but maybe it's South America. No, that's Bolivia. Whatever.