Things are getting crowded at home now that Michelle has crammed 54 Christmas trees into the White House halls. Soon I'll need a GPS to find Jarrett and Axelrod to ask for approval of my decisions.
The President of Bulgaria showed up for a courtesy visit. I gave the media my standard spiel about Bulgaria being a loyal ally in the Middle East and being a small country "punching above its weight." For some unfathomable reason, President Borissov suddenly assumed a sour expression. I could have sworn Bulgaria was in the Middle East, but maybe it's South America. No, that's Bolivia. Whatever.