Barack Obama's Diary: First Day

 Dear Diary: "A slice of bread, a bowl of bran and thou," I said poetically  to Michelle as I  consumed my usual two eggs over-easy and slice of wholewheat toast. I am moved to quote ancient literature as I begin my historic new term, or Second Coming, as Newsweek correctly called it. At noon Chief Justice Roberts administered the Oath of Office in that room of soothing Democratic hues, better-known as the Blue Room, and I was on my way into a second four years of changing America into the socialist state everyone would really want us to be, if they knew what's best for us all as I -- in my infinite wisdom--do.
Tomorrow is the day I will truly relish: the pomp and circumstance of the public inauguration, when it's all about me. For someone of my extraordinary abilities and accomplishments, yet who is so instinctively modest, it is a luxury to be the object of mass adulation and affection.