Barack Obama's Diary: Munchies

Dear Diary: I have urgent matters to attend to here on Oahu, such as golf, surfing and holding in lungfuls of Kona Skunk from the Big Island. So I directed today that my autopen in DC be used to sign the Fiscal Cliff bill into law. Wowie! This Kona Skunk sure packs  a punch... where was I? Never mind. I've got the Munchies real bad. "Is that Sam Kass?  It's the Preezie here. Look, I need some Doritos, and I need them now.. Whaddya mean, I've emptied the pantry?  How about Tostitos? All gone? Send someone out to buy more.  Sheesh... why can't you think ahead? Sam, you know Kona Skunk is herbal dynamite. I have needs."
That's my phone ringing...Daggone! That was Valerie Jarrett saying that John Boehner will stay on as Speaker and that he has vowed not to participate in any more private discussions with me and will only negotiate through normal open channels. So, no more  mind games with which  to freak him out. This going to make deficit ceiling  negotiations much more difficult. No matter, it's time for a round of golf with my island buddies.