Barack Obama's Diary: A weekend of Me

Dear Diary: A glorious weekend approaches. I take my second-term oath of office  privately on Sunday. On Monday comes a day of public pomp and ceremony when I celebrate my remarkable achievements and the Free World pays tribute to my extraordinary ability to know what's best for everyone else, even when they don't know it themselves. My handsome visage,  chin tilted confidently upwards, will fill the world's TV screens and untold millions will sigh " Blessed be Barack, for he shall lead us forth from the wildernesss of our ignorance. And, children, see how modest he is and  how gracious in victory."