Barack Obama's Diary: My day on the links

Dear Diary:  Today Butch Harmon, the man who helped train Tiger Woods, gave  me some minor hints on improving my already-dazzling golf game.  I'm  staying at the exclusive Floridian golf resort in Palm City, Florida. I deserve nothing less after recent exhausting weeks. Playing with  me today were U.S. Trade Rep. Ron Kirk and my Chicago pal Eric Whitaker, both of whom are long-time golfing buddies, Tony Chase, a Houston attorney and fundraiser for me, Jim Crane, who owns the Floridian [a mere co-incidence, of course] and Milton Carroll, another Houston businessman. I was quaffing a few  post-game brewskis with these buddies, when John Kerry called, whining that the Russian Foreign Minister was refusing to talk with him and he'd listened to the complete works of Tchaikowsky  while waiting on hold. "That's nothing," I said, "I've listened to the entire works of Shostakovich plus Stravinsky's 'Rite of Spring' waiting to talk with Vladimir Putin. Just put your phone on speaker and get on with some work." Nobody's going to outwit this administration on my watch.