Dear Diary: Aaauugh! The notorious WashingtonPost reporter Bob Woodward today suggested that I am suffering from "a kind of madness he hasn't seen in a long time" because I want to save money by not deploying an additional aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf. I don't know why they are so concerned about those Persians like my good friend Mamoud. Where was I? Oh yes: Mr Woodward, I am not [expletive deleted] crazy. Hubba hubba, oink, oink... Oops, I'm overdue for my evening medication.