6/20/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Hi-Ho silver

Dear Diary: Auuggh! I am really, really pissed at the feeble response to my amazing Berlin speech. I covered all of the things that European social democrats want to hear: that we'll eventually close Guantanamo, that we'll weaken our nuclear arsenal by a third.  I even had some kind words for  the Taliban and their apparent willingness to enter peace negotiations   In reply the Taliban fired several large rockets at  Bagram Base, killing four Americans. The Taliban have their  own agenda and clearly can't be trusted. But there's no silver bullet  for that. People have even been complaining about my supposed excessive use of the words "no silver bullet."  Anyhoo,  after my speech, me, Michelle and the girls boarded Air Force one for the trip home. Marvellous Marv,  my trip director, had placed my blankey,  Boo-boo, under my pillow and  I rubbed my cheek with the blankey's satin edge, sucked my right thumb and fell asleep watching an episode of Storage Wars in which Brandi and Jarrod  lost out. I find the setbacks of others strangely intriguing. Maybe it's because I'm so talented that I rarely experience even minor failure in my own life. But enough about me.