Resolute in his contempt

There is no greater symbol of Obama's contempt for the  office of President than his habit of resting his feet on the Resolute Desk, that historic  symbol of friendship between Britain and the USA given by Queen Victoria. No wonder the Brits won't join him in attacking Syria.

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

8/31/13:  Patient stretched out on hideous brown  sofa in his office and began an interminable monolog  that reinforced my original diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: talks endlessly about self, dislikes criticism, exaggerates achievements and talents, needs constant attention and admiration, has little empathy for others, has delusions of grandeur, such as referring to the U.S military as "my military." Patient has convinced self that he has the deductive power of a genius, while he clearly lacks even the analytical thinking of a moose. A dead moose. I noticed a smell of  marijuana on patient's breath and a yellow Doritos stain on his fingers. He has clearly started self medicating now that I have cut off his Ativan supply.  ---Dictated by Dr. S.H. Rink

Obama may not declare war on his own

"[Syria] is precisely the kind of situation for which the Framers of our Constitution designed its division of authority between President and Congress," writes Garrett Epps for The Atlantic. "Sending our missiles against Syria is an act of war. If it is to be done, Congress, not the president, should approve." Read it all.[BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Wowie

Dear Diary: It's not just Vlad Pootin who's giving  me no respect. I referred to 'my military' yesterday and the usual suspects are bitching that it's not 'my' military' -- the people pay for it through taxes therefore it's 'their' military. I'm getting sick of this 'We the People' crap. I, Barack Husein Obama know what's best for everybody. My shrink calls it 'narcissism', I call it realism. I'm the Commander-in-Chief, so shaddup and that goes for you, too, President Bashar goddam Assad. If I want to bomb you I will tell my military to bomb you, geddit? And tell that to your pal Pootin. Talking of Pootin, he's still waging psychological war on me. My shrink says he can't give me any more of those Ativan pills that soothe me enough to talk to Pootin. Talking of Pootin, Vlad called this morning and he was, like: "Obamavitch [that damn name again] you must have been smoking Maui Wowie, if you think a few cheese-eating surrender monkeys are any substitute for the Brits as an ally.  I knew that returning that bust of Churchill  would end up biting you in the ass, Obamavitch." Bastard. How does he know that I've been smokin' Maui Wowie since Dr. Rink cut off my Ativan? I'm nowear neer as high as Plad Vootin thinks I am. But enough about me.

Obama's war on black kids

"...Why would Obama and Holder take legal action to block a program that is helping low income and minority students receive a better education?  The answer is simple and speaks volumes about the role and purpose of the public school system in America, says Godfather Politics
"The students using the vouchers are attending private and charter schools.  The federal government can’t indoctrinate the students with their socialist anti-Christian and anti-American ideology in private schools.  The students learn the real history of America and the role that Christianity played in our nation’s foundation.  "They learn to be proud to be American and respect the American flag, Pledge of Allegiance and the national anthem. This is what Obama and Holder want to stop.  "They don’t care if minority kids are relegated to a substandard education as long as it brainwashes them to hate America and their parents and look to the government for everything.  Striving to accomplish this goal, our black President has launched a war against Louisiana’s black kids and their families, proving he cares nothing for them.  The only thing Obama cares about is himself and his socialist agenda...."
Read it all.

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

8/30/13:  Consulted with patient in private quarters again. Patient continues to exhibit extreme insecurity and paranoia. He is still receiving voice-mails from Vladimir Putin. Patient played me the latest voice-mail: "Hey, Obamavitch,  your only  remaining allies are cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Good luck with them. Bwaaa-ha-ha!"  Since I dare not prescribe another sedative. I am having to use  cognitive  behavioral therapy  to help relieve Patient's mounting distress.  But how this bird-brain ever got re-elected is beyond my comprehension. ---Dictated by Dr. S.H. Rink

Mugger, 18, murdered toddler

An 18-year-old man was convicted of murder in the shooting of a baby who was riding in a stroller alongside his mom in Georgia. Jurors deliberated about two hours before finding De'Marquise Elkins  [left] guilty of 11 counts, including two counts of felony murder and one count of malice murder in the March 21 killing of 13-month-old Antonio Santiago [left] in Brunswick. The man's mother, Karimah Elkins, was on trial alongside him and was found guilty of tampering with evidence but acquitted of lying to police. De'Marquise Elkins faces life in prison. At the time of the shooting he was 17, too young to face the death penalty under Georgia law. Read more: 

Cartoon: Daryl Cagle

[Cagle Cartoons]

Two women gang-raped by black youths

 Police in Wilmington, Delaware,  say two women, ages 32 and 24, were reportedly attacked and sexually assaulted by a group of 10 to 12 black male juveniles in Kosciuszko Park at about 6:54 p.m. Thursday. According to police, the suspects, who range in age from 12 to 17-years-old, remain on the loose.

Obama's clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked: "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered: "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Obama's clock?"
"His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan"  [SVW]

17-y-o charged with rape of woman, 93

A 17-year-old has been charged with rape  of a 93-year-old woman.
Iquise Taylor [left] of Anderson, Indiana, was charged as an adult after the attack on Amelia Rudolf at her home. Mrs Rudolph participated in a police news conference after Anderson was charged with rape, burglary, criminal confinement and strangulation. Mrs Rudolf said that she was afraid she would not see justice in her lifetime and thanked the police for everything they had done to catch her attacker. She told WWLP.com: ‘I would like to go back because it is the house my husband built for me and my family. I have been happy all my life there until now.’ She has been staying with family since she was attacked, but is now planning to return home. More here

Obama admin 'spread false data to justify war on Syria'

The Obama administration has selectively used intelligence to justify military strikes on Syria-- former military officers with access to the original intelligence reports say--in a manner that goes far beyond what critics charged the Bush administration of doing in the run-up to the 2003 Iraq war.
According to these officers, who served in top positions in the United States, Britain, France, Israel, and Jordan, a Syrian military communication intercepted by Israel’s famed Unit 8200 electronic intelligence outfit has been doctored so that it leads a reader to just the opposite conclusion reached by the original report.  Read more:

Barack Obama's Diary: Being Andris Bērziņš

Dear Diary: A brutal day that included a meeting with President Toomas Hendrik Ilves of Estonia, Dalia Grybauskaitė of Lithuania, and President Andris Bērziņš of Latvia.  In fact I was glad to be able to distract the media from our embarrassing hiatus over Syria. After the meeting I held my routine session  for the cameras during which I  smile and deliver my usual sound bite  for non-entity countries: "---- is a relatively small country   which punches above its weight and is a loyal / trusted ally of the United States."  Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia. I don't think the  White House press corpse has any more idea than I do where these countries are.  As for President "Andris Bērziņš"--- what kind of crazy name is that?

Cartoon: A.F. Branco

[From: Legal Insurrection]

Assad cowed by Obull

"Obama? He threatened me?"

Dim Crims: Burglar traps self in store

A burglar trapped himself in an Orlando store after breaking in through a grease trap, according to Orange County Sheriff's Deputies.
Deputies say Chad Winslow, 34, broke into Sam's Discount Food Store,  through the roof. Winslow slid down a grease trap, but deputies said it was too slippery for him to climb back out.
Winslow left a trail of grease through the store, but when deputies checked his pockets, they said they found a stolen ham sandwich. Winslow has been charged with burglary of a structure, criminal mischief and theft.  [Source]         [BJS]

  

Dim Crims: Finger pointing

A 28-year-old man charged with fraud arrived at the Sheriff's Office Central Records Unit in Mason, Michigan, to submit to court-ordered fingerprints stemming from a charge of fraud in Ingham County District Court.
The man, of Ingham County, tried to use a credit card to pay for the $16 cost. But when the office staff ran the card, it came back reported as stolen, according to Sheriff Gene Wriggelsworth. Further charges are being pursued.   [BJS]

Case Notes: Patient 540463 Obama, Barack, H.

8/29/13:  Consulted with patient in private quarters again. Patient still presents with extreme insecurity and paranoia. Thinks whole world is against him. British Prime Minister who had promised to join in "surgical strike" against Syria has now pulled out due to opposition from Parliament, leaving Patient with no ally. To make matters worse, Vladimir Putin has been calling and laughing a sinister laugh at him. Patient put his phone on speaker to demonstrate:"Bwaaha-ha-ha!" Bloodcurdling, I will admit. I am unable to sedate Patient further as Patient should be Commander-in-Chief only if he is of sound mind or as near to sound mind as this moron is likely to  get.---Dictated by Dr.S.H.Rink

Dim Crims: The Love Depot

A South Carolina couple were arrested yesterday for having sex inside a display shed at a Home Depot, police report. Emily Craig, 20, and Shaun Bowden, 31, were nabbed after cops were called to the store in North Charleston. An inspection of the outdoor sheds turned up Craig and Bowden. During subsequent questioning of the duo, “it became apparent that they were engaged in sexual intercourse within the shed," police said.  More

Dim Crims: Pot shot misses

A Whatcom, Wash., County sheriff's employee saw a man step out of his pickup truck and use a bow to launch an arrow toward the local jail's second-floor recreation area. Sheriff Bill Elfo says the man, identified as 36-year-old David Wayne Jordan, was arrested for investigation of introducing contraband into the jail, resisting arrest and obstructing law enforcement. The sheriff says Jordan told deputies he had been aiming at a squirrel, but he couldn't explain why he needed to attach marijuana to the arrow to go squirrel hunting.  Read more:

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

8/28/13:  I held a consultation in Patient's private quarters, at the request of Valerie Jarrett who is very vigilant in keeping patient under wraps. Ativan prescribed yesterday seems to have calmed him, but he is still obsessed with the machinations of Vladimir Putin.  He is convinced that Putin is luring him into a trap by tempting the US to launch a "surgical  strike" against Syria to take out key command centers. Putin has already shown himself to be more than a match for Patient.  I suspect that a US " surgical strike" will be about as surgical as hacking off an elephant's head with  a chainsaw. ---Dictated By Dr. S.H.Rink

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

MLK celebration excludes black senator

" The celebration of Martin Luther King’s speech featured nothing but leftists, black grievance industry pimps, and MLK family members. Not invited was the only black Senator currently seated, Tim Scott. He is also the first black Senator from South Carolina. This proves yet again that the organizers of this so called ‘celebration’ were only interested in keeping blacks on the progressive-liberal plantation. Why risk having a strong conservative like Tim Scott actually speak to the crowd? They might finally realize that progressive liberals just use theme and have no interest in helping them improve their lives. Read it all.

'White bitch' beaten senseless

Ginger Slepski was driving through Pittsburgh’s North Side when a group of black teens threw things at her car.  She got out and asked them “what is your problem?” Then they proceeded to beat her senseless, calling her a “white bitch” and other racial slurs.
So where is Eric Holder? Where is Jocelyn Samuel, the replacement for Assistant Attorney General Tom Perez who could prosecute this crime under federal civil rights laws?
Remember those? Those are the ones Eric Holder made a point to mention at the NAACP convention in Orlando, blustering that he might prosecute the acquitted George Zimmerman.
Well here’s an easy case Eric. It won’t be too hard to prove a violation of 18 USC 249 or 18 USC 245 in this context. No outrageous self-defense defenses here. Read it all.

Cartoon: Aftermath

[Aftermath]Aftermath

Cartoon: Daryl Cagle

[Cagle Cartoons]

Obama, a truly great phony

"Back during Barack Obama's first year in office, he kept repeating, with great apparent earnestness, that there were "shovel-ready" projects that would quickly provide many much-needed jobs, if only his spending plans were approved by Congress", writes Thomas Sowell.  "He seemed very convincing -- if you didn't know how long it can take for any construction project to get started, after going through a bureaucratic maze of environmental impact studies, zoning commission rulings and other procedures that can delay even the smallest and simplest project for years.  "Only about a year or so after his big spending programs were approved by Congress, Barack Obama himself laughed at how slowly everything was going on his supposedly "shovel-ready" projects. One wonders how he will laugh when all his golden promises about ObamaCare turn out to be false and a medical disaster. Or when his foreign policy fiascoes in the Middle East are climaxed by a nuclear Iran..."  Read more:       [ECS]

Dim Crims: Droopy jeans trap thief

Joel Donaldson, 21, allegedly punched a victim in the face before snatching her phone  just steps from Brooklyn Borough Hall. He then tried to get away on foot, but didn’t get far. His droopy blue jeans — which left his boxer shorts exposed — kept slipping down as he ran.  A cop who was directing traffic nearby spotted the bungling bad guy’s sorry sartorial situation and hurried after him. Donaldson made it only about a block before his pants were completely around his ankles, allowing the officer to tackle him. More

Dogged...

[ECS]    From Patriot Post

Dim Crims: It's a Knockout

A new version of the Knockout Game that involved a stun gun didn’t work out too well for the  Lansing, Michigan, thug who had planned to use it on his next victim.  Instead of punching the victim in the face, he used a taser  — a KL-800 Type Stun Gun capable of generating 1.8 million volts. But the intended victim had other ideas. The assailants had scouted the site, the victim and even practiced firing the taser. But then it all went wrong.  When the thug  jammed the taser into the ribs of the target and pulled the trigger, it jammed. The target pulled out his .40 caliber Smith and Wesson and shot the thug in the upper thigh as he tried to escape to the getaway van where two of his accomplices waited.
According to MLive.com: The thug ran, sat down across the street, his leg going numb, bleeding. Pleading.
“‘I’m sorry, please don’t kill me, I don’t know why I did that, I’m high you know, I just wanna go home,’”

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

8/27/13: Patient presented in a renewed state of extreme agitation.  "What's on your mind?" I asked.
 "It's that bastard Vlad Putin," he said. "Putin's been playing me and my Administration like a violin.  It seems that the traitorous Ed Snowden was a Russian agent from the get-go,  and that the Russians were in on the whole thing. It was all a massive deception, to suggest that Snowden was seeking asylum in South America, when the intention all along was to keep him in Russia."
"How does that make you feel?" I asked.  "Putin! That bastard has been laughing at me all along!"  Patient's  trembling resembled Superintendent Dreyfus in the Pink Panther movies. I had no option but to mildly sedate him with a short course of Ativan. ---Dictated by Dr. S.H. Rink.

Snowden 'outed as a Russian agent'

 Ed Snowden, the NSA leaker, was allegedly a Russian agent all along  and Vlad Putin  has pulled off a masterful deception.  The Washington Post reports that “Before American fugitive Edward Snowden arrived in Moscow in June—an arrival that Russian officials have said caught them by surprise—he spent several days living at the Russian Consulate in Hong Kong, a Moscow newspaper reported Monday.”
In other words, the Russians were in on the deception all along.  More here

Dim Crims: Walk in, fly out

Barack Obama's Diary: Fightin' Words

Dear Diary: My life  is a living hell. Vlad Pootin has been calling at all hours, sometimes just whispering "Syria" and then breathing heavily. To add to my woes, some county in the boondocks of Kentucky [cue: duelling  banjos] has  joined a growing chorus of dislike for the healthy school lunches touted by Michelle.
“They say it tastes like vomit,” said Harlan County Public Schools board member Myra Mosley at a board meeting last week, reports The Harlan Daily Enterprise. Them's fightin' words,  Ms Mosely, and I have the butt bruises  from Michelle's  Jimmy Choo's to show for it. But that's enough about me.  [ECS]

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Barack Obama's Diary: Decisions, decisions

Dear Diary: I am sprinting like a Pamplona bullrunner, while I'm dodging the horns of the Syrian dilemma. I have been in constant contact with David Cameron in London who says we can't stand aside while Assad unleashes a holocaust against his own people. "Why?" I asked, "why should we get involved?"
"It's a matter of honor", The Brit declared.  " As powerful nations we must enforce a ban on nerve gas."
 I replied: " Dude, did you seriously just say that? What's in it for us?"
"The satisfaction of doing the right thing."
But what if Val Jarrett disapproves? I think I will have to leave the decision to John Kerry so he takes the heat if there's screw-up. These are the dilemmas of a decisive, cutting-edge modern leader.  But enough about me.

Lobbyists win big bucks from Obamacare

Obamacare is earning Washington lobbyists big bucks as corporate clients line up to hire K Street lobbying firms made up of former government officials with high-powered connections.
"After passage of major legislation, those who have networks on Capitol Hill take exceedingly lucrative jobs with the same industries subject to the legislation,” Public Citizen lobbyist Craig Holman told The Hill. “It raises questions about the [bill's] integrity.”
Former lawmakers and White House officials have signed on with lucrative lobbying firms who benefit from Obamacare's complexity and long implementation timeline.
Over 30 former staffers, members of Congress, and White House officials with Obamacare experience are now working on K Street, reports The Hill.    [ECS]

Question of the Day...

[The Looking Spoon]

Workers get $5.5 million bonus as disabled vets wait in vain for benefits

In a year in which veterans' disability claims backlog ballooned by 155 percent, more than two-thirds of claims processors shared $5.5 million in bonuses, according to data from the Office of Personnel Management. The more complex claims were often set aside by workers so they could keep their jobs, meet performance standards or, in some cases, collect extra pay, said VA claims processors and union representatives. Now they fear the VA’s aggressive new push to finish all one-year-old claims by Oct. 1 — and eliminate the entire backlog by 2015 — could continue the emphasis on quantity over quality.  More     [BJS]

Man held after homicide of 99-year-old woman

Police have arrested Javon Tyrek Rogers aged 20, and charged him with first-degree murder and first-degree burglary, in connection with the homicide of Fannie Gumbinger, aged 99, who was found dead at her home, said Poughkeepsie, NY, Detective Lt. Edward Freer. More.

Obumbler's Muddle East strategy

"In the beginning, the Hebrew Bible tells us, the universe was all "tohu wabohu," chaos and tumult. This month the Middle East seems to be reverting to that primeval state: Iraq continues to unravel, the Syrian War grinds on with violence spreading to Lebanon and allegations of chemical attacks this week, and Egypt stands on the brink of civil war with the generals crushing the Muslim Brotherhood and street mobs torching churches. Turkey's prime minister, once widely hailed as President Obama's best friend in the region, blames Egypt's violence on the Jews; pretty much everyone else blames it on the U.S.," writes Walter Russell Mead in The Wall Street Journal.  "The Obama administration had a grand strategy in the Middle East. It was well intentioned, carefully crafted and consistently pursued. Unfortunately, it failed." Read it all   [BJS]

Pastafarian driver's license

A student at Texas Tech University appears to be the first American to have his driver’s license photo taken — and to successfully obtain a driver’s license — while wearing a pasta strainer on his head.
The student, Eddie Castillo, pulled off the stunt by claiming to practice "Pastafarianism" and belong to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, reports KLBK.
Castillo told DMV officials that the silver, metal pasta strainer is a religious symbol for him, and they bought it.  Read more:      [ECS]

Face to Face with POTUS

[From: Weaselzippers]

Cruz: We need grassroots tsunami to block Obamacare

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said Sunday that defunding President Barack Obama's Affordable Care Act is "the single biggest thing we can do to restore economic growth."

Describing the law as "the biggest job-killer in this country," Cruz said Republicans need to stand their ground and win the fight as the budget battle begins.  "Now is the single best time to stop Obamacare, because there's bipartisan agreement that it's not working," he said on CNN's "This Week." "If it doesn't happen now, it's likely never to happen."

"I believe if we see a grassroots tsunami, that is going to cause Republicans and Democrats to listen to the people," he said. "It is going to take a tsunami." More.

Cruz on the power of the grassroots

 The power of Sen. Ted Cruze:

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Dear Barry: L.C.'s Advice column

Dear BARRY: I am CEO of a large corporation and  I have considerable trouble making decisions. Yet I am required to make difficult decisions all the time. What shall I do? --G.H., Los Angeles.

Dear G.H.: The solution is remarkably easy. If you have to make an unpleasant decision, don't --not to begin with. Spend a few weeks "considering alternatives" This will make you  appear to be working very hard to avoid  an unpleasant outcome. Meantime, buy  more time by saying that there's a "red line" that must not be crossed. Allow it to be crossed, say it is a "grave matter" but still do nothing. Allow a clamor to arise for  you to take the unpopular decision. Still do nothing. Now persuade some other large corporations to go in first to provide you with cover and take the heat if the unpopular decision proves to be wrong. Let it be known via compliant media that your advisers are conflicted. Then act: You will have covered your ass, while appearing bold, decisive. and way cool. --BARRY, D.C. 

Your tax dollars at work...

The $5.7 million Polar Learning and Responding (PoLAR) project is just the latest in a series of federally-funded climate change efforts since Congress established the Climate Change Educational Partnership in 2009.  CCEP has already spent $46 million on taxpayer-funded research projects around the country designed to find the most effective ways to convince Americans that the federal government should confront what researchers claim is the threat of global warming.
Stephanie Pfirman, principal investigator and professor of environmental science at Barnard College, told CNSNews.com that one of the games under development is “EcoChains” - a card game in which “players learn the components of an Arctic marine food chain, the reliance of some species on sea ice, and potential impacts of future changes.” More here.      [ECS]

Bark Obama's bulletin: Mulling action

Woof! My master is doing what he calls "mulling" regarding Syria. This angers me, because dogs are dying in that  holocaust and my master won't take any decisive action. I'm mulling what to do," he tells inquirers. "Mulling" consists of kicking  back his chair at the Resolute Desk, closing his eyes, and resting his elbows on the arm rests.  You and I call it "taking a nap." if someone like Valerie Jarrett calls to see if he's free, he suddenly sits bolt upright , puts  a few memos in front of him, picks up a pen and starts to write. This morning when she walked in he said. "Ma'am, tell me what to do about Syria."  She said: "Barry, If you can't hide behind the UN, take cover behind the Brits or the French."  Woof!"

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

8/24/13: I was not able to see Patient directly due to his absence on a bus tour.  But we held a consultation by encrypted telephone. Patient is still under great stress due to people pressing him to make decisions on action against Syria where chemical weapons are being used. Patient says he has already taken decisive  action against the Assad regime  by appearing  on television and warning that widespread chemical  use would “clearly a big event of grave concern."

 "What do your advisers suggest?" I asked. "They don't agree," Patient replied. I asked: "But isn't your job to compile all advice and then you decide?" I asked. " No" he said,"that's Val Jarrett's job." There was a prolonged silence. Then Patient said: "F--ck the Middle East what I want to know is if I'm a suitable subject for gender reassignment." Patient, to use a technical term, shows symptoms of being  a complete moron.--- Dictated by Dr. S.H.Rink.

Delbert: Score one for the good guys

Bark Obama's Bulletin: Dog's breakfast

Woof! I have been enjoying life away from that tedious island in the golf of Massachusetts. My new companion, Sunny, is OK. But my master offended me deeply by telling CNN that he and my mistress had gotten Sunny as a child substitute for when the girls leave for college. What an outrageous fib! It will be another five years before Sasha goes to college. The whole family knows Sunny's sole purpose was to draw  the media's attention away from the dog's breakfast my master has been making of Egypt and Syria. As for Benghazi, I prefer Beneful. Woof!

Libs, put a Wysocki in it...

Chris Wysocki  at Wyblog is not going to take it anymore..."Go ahead Libs, defend your president.  Quite frankly I'm sick and tired of every one of you sycophantic shitheads shilling for your Lightworker Unicorn Healer laughingstock of a president." There's lots more of this here.  After a day, like today,  of egregious Obama incompetence, Mr Wysocki's rant is balm for the soul.

Dim Crims: Sausage saga

Wielding an eight-inch sausage, Antonio Vasquez allegedly broke into a Fresno home stole $900, and assaulted one resident with the pork weapon and tossed seasoning into another victim's face. According to investigators, Vasquez  invaded the home of a group of farmworkers. Santiago Cabrera told deputies that he was sleeping on the home's front porch when he 'felt something hit him in the face.' Another resident, Cesar Macias, recalled that he was sleeping on a futon in the family room when the intruder threw Pappy's seasoning in his face. The Fresno-based Pappy's specializes in 'high quality all purpose spice blends, sauces and marinades,' according to its web site. Before fleeing the residence, Vasquez, for some reason, removed his shorts, which contained his driver's license, credit cards, school IDs, and cell phone. He ran into a nearby orange orchard, but was soon apprehended by a deputy.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

ObamaCare to have ObamaCops

Investors Business Daily  says that the administration is building a detective squad that will target consumers and companies that don't follow ObamaCare's rules. In an opinion piece it says:  "It was bad enough to know that an Internal Revenue Service that targets the political opponents of the Obama administration between partying on the taxpayer dime would be in charge of monitoring compliance with ObamaCare's individual mandate via our tax returns.
"Now, the Daily Mail, which lodged a Freedom of Information Act request with Health and Human Services, reports that the agency has hired a bevy of criminal investigators as we continue to learn what is in the Orwellian-named Affordable Care Act.
"Never did we imagine that buying insurance and going to the doctor or providing coverage to employees would come under the full-time purview of federal criminal investigators. More here    [ECS]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Children massacred: Where is Obama?

 NBC'S Chuck Todd this evening excused  Obama's lack of decisive action against Syria's mass murderers by saying Obama's advisers were "divided on the best strategy" to follow. What is a president for? His function --as with any chief executive -- is to listen to conflicting advice and make a decision.

Race anger rages : Where is Obama?

CNN's website has more than 23,000 angry reader comments on the brutal and senseless killing of a WW2 vet in Spokane --evidence of serious and growing growing racial polarization. Obama is uniquely equipped to help narrow the gap. But, as usual,  he flunks a test of leadership.  Before society can fix a problem,  it must acknowledge the problem. Laughing Conservative will, from now, identify the race, when available, of all thugs involved in brutal crimes. It's time to confront reality. [RK]

Police arrest black teen after beating death of WW2 vet: Where is Obama?

 Police in Spokane, Wash., say they have arrested one of two teens suspected of fatally beating an 88-year-old veteran of World War II who had survived the Battle of Okinawa.
Authorities say the two young African American men, between 16 and 19 years old, approached Delbert Belton in his car Wednesday night outside an Eagles Lodge as he was waiting for a friend. Belton was found by police with serious head injuries and died in the hospital Thursday. Belton’s daughter-in-law tells KREM-TV that the suspects beat him with flashlights.

Power failure

UN Ambassador Samantha Power was on a personal trip when she missed this week’s emergency Security Council meeting on the use of chemical weapons in Syria, U.N. diplomats have told Fox News. Power, who tweeted a call for U.N. action after news broke of the gas attack and has long advocated military intervention in the ongoing Syrian civil war, was said to be in a location where no travel arrangements could be made.

Barack Obama's Diary: She who must be obeyed

Dear Diary: Valerie Jarrett is excited about the vote-attracting idea of my possible gender change and tested reaction by announcing my routine presidential briefing this morning thus:  "The president will receive her usual briefing at 10am."  Apparently this caused no overt reaction, so maybe I can go ahead with a full gender reassignment without anyone noticing until it is too late-- kind of like the war on Libya. I see that a member of SEAL team 6  has changed gender and is now known as "The Warrior Princess" ...is that cool or what? But enough about me.

ObamaCare...or BoehnerCare

 Mark Levin writes: "Boehner told the House Republican membership in a telephone meeting a short while ago that the Republican leadership will NOT pursue defunding Obamacare, that they will only pursue saving from the sequestration. Levin responded to this news by saying we need to change the name of Obamacare to BoehnerCare and start repeating it over and over.
"I bet Boehner holding that telephone meeting with the Republican membership was a direct result of all the pressure Ted Cruz, Mike Lee and others are creating with this Defund Obamacare push. I bet Republicans have been burning the leadership’s ears, telling them that their constituents want them to vote to defund. And this phone call was a way to try and stop Republicans from moving in that direction. That’s my guess." More.

Cartoon: Gary Varvel

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Steve Sack

[Minneapolis Star Tribune]

Feds to rate colleges (who better?)

President Obama today unveiled an ambitious new plan for the federal government to create a national rating system that will define what a good college is and financially reward or punish colleges depending on how they rank in the government’s system. As outlined by Obama, this rating system would look at essentially materialistic and financial characteristics of a college as opposed to intellectual and moral ones.  What could possibly go wrong?  More.    [ECS]

Now black teens beat WW2 vet to death

Police in Washington state are searching for two young  suspects who allegedly beat an 88-year-old World War II veteran to death in a parking lot. The Spokane Police Department says, in a press release, that officers responded to reports of an assault and found the victim in his car with serious head injuries. He later died in the hospital.  Authorities on Thursday released surveillance photos of the two suspects, who they describe as African-American males between the ages of 16 and 19. Friends identified the victim as Delbert Belton, and say he was sitting outside a lodge for the Fraternal Order of the Eagles when he was attacked. KXLY-TV reports that Belton served in  the US Army during World War II and was shot in the leg during the Battle for Okinawa.  Read more. 

Barack Obama's Diary: Gender blender

Dear Diary: This has been a tumultuous day. I watched the Today show  while munching Rice Krispies, two eggs over-easy and wholewheat toast.  The lawyer for Bradley Manning, the Wikileaks whistleblower, announced on air that Manning wanted to live the rest of his life as a woman named Chelsea and referred to by the pronoun "She." This was a revelation to me, because a psychologist had told the court at her trial that she had "narcissistic tendencies". Dr Rink, my psychiatrist said a couple days ago that I showed symptoms  of NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The excitement! Does this mean that inside me there is a beautiful woman waiting to break out,  like one of those those monsters in Alien? What name should I choose?  Barbara" or "Barbie" would be very fetching and close to "Barack".  I can't wait to go shopping with Michelle  and Valerie for a  chic new wardrobe of elegant gowns. Maybe even Vlad Pootin will want to woo me instead of laughing at me. I wonder what shade of lipstick I should wear. "Oh, Vlad, Vlad, wherefore art thou Vlad?" I will talk about gender reassignment  with Dr Rink. But meantime, enough about me.

Cartoon: A.F. Branco

There's nothing Obama can't make worse

President Obama swept into office carrying the media’s breathless hopes that he would prove to be a modern-day Lincoln. But in a time of dizzying economic restructuring, instead of becoming a 21st century Great Emancipator, Obama is repeatedly proving himself to be the American economy’s Great Exacerbator: There’s nothing his policies can’t make worse.
"I got thinking about this because the President is headed, for the first time, to my hometown of Binghamton, NY, tomorrow to talk tough about college costs. Good enough. Higher education expenses are certainly riotously out of control and the federal government’s likely the main culprit in making it so, so he should be talking about it," writes Dave Maney in Forbes.
"But I’ll lay odds that Binghamtonians would much rather hear what he thinks can be done to arrest the private sector economic death spiral that the city and other small Rust Belt cities like it find themselves in – and which Obama’s core policies seem hell-bent on making worse." More here

Dim Crims: Whipped coffee

A Dunkin’ Donuts worker was beaten and pistol-whipped by a Florida couple enraged over a botched coffee order, police report.  The 1 PM melee at the Lauderhill eatery resulted in the arrest of Jeffrey Wright, 27, for aggravated battery, a felony. Alexis Longo, Wright’s 22-year-old wife, was charged with misdemeanor battery. According to a Lauderhill Police Department report, the couple placed a drive-thru order that they later discovered contained the wrong coffee. Longo wanted her java with vanilla. Instead she got caramel.  So the pair parked their vehicle and went inside the restaurant to speak with a manager. Before that could occur, the pair got into an argument with the worker who had handled their order. Matters quickly escalated and Wright and Longo allegedly began assaulting the employee.During the brawl, Wright, a security guard, repeatedly struck the victim in the head with a loaded Taurus Slim 9mm handgun (which he is licensed to carry). Store surveillance video shows Wright pummeling the worker while Longo gets in a few blows.   More.     [ECS]

Lane Murder: Race IS a key issue

"...who’s to say what would happen if black America exerted even half of the emotional fervor and brainpower it does over cases like [Trayvon] Martin’s to thinking about how to keep black boys from going wrong? Annette John-Hall had some wise words on this last year. What kind of self-image do we have to assume we can only change others, but not ourselves?" asks John Mc Whorter in Time.
"For the time being, though, it’s time for the media to stop proudly emblazoning the race of white cops who kill black boys while cagily describing black teens as, say, “from the grittier part of town,” as has been the case regarding Lane’s killers. The media needs to be as honest with black people as we need to be with ourselves. No group gets ahead by turning away from its real problems..."   Read more:  [BJS]

Say it ain't so: GOP to hold major hearing on climate change

Good Grief: Republican leaders of the House Energy and Commerce Committee are planning a major hearing on climate change on Sept. 18 and are inviting leaders of 13 federal agencies to testify. It will be the first time since President Obama unveiled his climate action plan in June that administration officials will testify on Capitol Hill. So even the GOP is drinking the climate KoolAid?  More here. [ECS]

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barbie, H.

8/22/13:  Patient presented in an even worse state of agitation than previously. I may have to consider an SRI like Paxil to deal long term with depression and panic attacks. Patient inquired nervously about the case of Bradley Manning, the Army private who leaked vast numbers of secret documents, who now wants to change sex and be called 'Chelsea'. Manning was said  in court to exhibit narcissistic traits. Patient asked that, since I had previously diagnosed him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder,  he should immediately begin gender reaassignment. If so, Patient says that he would like to be known as 'Barbie'  Obama from  now onwards. He would then become both the first black President and first female president in history. This Patient --to use psychiatric jargon --is batshit crazy. --Dictated by Dr. S.H. Rink

The unmanning of Bradley Manning

Bradley Manning, convicted of leaking 750,000 pages of classified documents to the anti-secrecy group WikiLeaks said in a statement read on NBC's Today show that will seek hormone therapy and live as a female named Chelsea.
"As I transition into this next phase of my life, I want everyone to know the real me," Manning said in the statement. "I am Chelsea Manning. I am a female. Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition."
Manning's lawyer, David Coombs, told Today that he hopes officials at Fort Leavenworth military prison will provide his client the hormone therapy.

Egypt sending mission to Russia

As the situation in Egypt escalates, a source with 'very close ties' to the Egyptian government tells Breitbart News that the country is preparing to send a diplomatic mission to Russia. While the Obama Administration sends conflicting messages about the conflict, Russia, China and Saudi Arabia have issued strong statements in support of the government's crackdown on the Muslim Brotherhood. America's influence in the region is waning.   "They're terrorists," the source told Breitbart News referring to people protesting in support of the Muslim Brotherhood. More.

DHS employee preps for race war

A Department of Homeland Security employee who works on, among other things, the procurement of guns and ammunition for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, spends his nights and weekends preparing for a coming race war and advocating for anti-gay causes, according to a new report from the Southern Poverty Law Center. Ayo Kimathi, told his bosses at the DHS that his anti-white, anti-gay site, "War is on the Horizon," was just an entertainment site that sells concert and lecture videos. More here.

Obamanomics: Jobless rate soars

Outside of the federal government's Bureau of Labor statistics, the Gallup polling organization also tracks the nation's unemployment rate. While the BLS and Gallup findings might not always perfectly align, the trends almost always do and the small statistical differences just haven't been worthy of note. But now Gallup is showing a sizable 30-day jump in the unemployment rate, from 7.7% on July 21 to 8.9% today. [Source]

Cartoon: Pat Bagely

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Obama 'deeply concerned about chemical attacks'

The White House says it is “deeply concerned” by reports that the Syrian government has launched chemical attacks against rebels. “The United States strongly condemns any and all use of chemical weapons. Those responsible for the use of chemical weapons must be held accountable,” said Wednesday’s statement.

“Today, we are formally requesting that the United Nations urgently investigate this new allegation,” the statement continued. At this rate John Kerry might  even call Assad to say he is really, really irritated. More.  [ECS]

Jesse Jackson tweets this' senseless killing 'is frowned upon'

Jesse Jackson on the killing of  Australian athlete Chris Lane, says this "senseless violence is frowned 

upon."

Frowned upon? Frowned upon?  Yes, perhaps we should ask these scumbags to sit in the corner as punishment. Or maybe we should take away their TV privileges.  [ECS]

How one man saved $17,000 on his medical bill

The only way to make health care more affordable is to diminish the role of third-party payers, writes this doctor in the WSJ. "Let consumers and providers interact through market forces to drive down prices and drive up quality, like we do when we buy groceries, clothing, cars, computers, etc.

"Drop the focus on prepaid health plans and return to the days of real health insurance—that covers major, unforeseen events, leaving the everyday expenses to the consumer—just like auto and homeowners' insurance.  Sadly, we are heading in the exact opposite direction. ObamaCare expands the role of the third party and practically eliminates the role—and the say—of the patient in the delivery of health care. Will they ever learn?"  Read it all.  [BJS]

ObamaCare ends coverage for 15,000 spouses

Today’s ObamaCare triumph is the announcement by United Parcel Service that it will drop 15,000 working spouses from its health care plan, loudly and repeatedly citing the Affordable Care Act as the reason. 

Obama half-brother 'linked to Muslim Brotherhood'

President Obama’s half-brother in Kenya could cause the White House more headaches over new evidence linking him to the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and establishing that controversial IRS supervisor Lois Lerner signed his tax-exempt approval letter.  Malik Obama’s oversight of the Muslim Brotherhood’s international investments is one reason for the Obama administration’s support of the Muslim Brotherhood, according to an Egyptian report citing the vice president of the Supreme Constitutional Court of Egypt, Tehani al-Gebali.  Read more   [ECS]

Dear Barry: LC's advice column

 Dear BARRY: We want to get a companion for our pedigreed dog. We are in the public eye a lot and are worried about taking heat for buying a pure-bred dog when so many mixed-breed dogs  are in shelters waiting to be euthanized. What should we do? --W.H., Seattle

Dear W.H:  I suggest you get the pure-bred dog  you want, give it a likable, happy name like "Sunny" or "Sunshine" and make a donation in its name to your local animal shelter. Start a socialized dog  care service called ObamaVet. Issue a statement claiming that if people like their veterinarian  they can keep their veterinarian and to speed  up legislation  get Nancy Pelosi to say that Congress will need to pass the law to understand what's in the law.-- BARRY, D.C.

Dim Crims: Hostage shoots captor

Rodney Long, 38, escaped prison and shortly after 10pm on Monday, he took the 71-year-old Jerome  Maudley and wife Carolyn, 66, hostage after finding the couple asleep in their isolated house near Bedford, Iowa, reports The Des Moines Register.
Long took away the loaded shotgun Jerome Maudley kept next to his bed and disabled their landline phones. When Long left the couple alone to look for supplies upstairs  at around 2am, the Maudleys sprang into action: Carolyn called 911 on a bedroom phone Long had missed, while Jerome retrieved his shotgun. When Long came back, Jerome shot him in the torso, killing him. The couple will not be charged. "The Maudleys feared for their life," said a Division of Criminal Investigation spokesperson. [BJS]

Obamabots protest as Obamacare kills full-time jobs

Ladies' clothing store "Forever 21" is changing all but management staff to part time schedules ahead of ObamaCare.  This has set up a firestorm of leftist indignation and boycott threats.  It seems that those who voted for Obamacare still think they can have their cake and eat it too. [Source]

Can democracy survive the modern state?

"Two great forces are now in fierce but unresolved contention. The material revealed by Edward Snowden through The Guardian and The Washington Post is of a wholly different order from WikiLeaks and other recent whistle-blowing incidents," writes Simon Jenkins. "It indicates not just that the modern state is gathering, storing and processing for its own ends electronic communication from around the world; far more serious, it reveals that this power has so corrupted those wielding it as to put them beyond effective democratic control." Jenkins was my boss in London in the 1970s  and I greatly respect his judgement. Read it all

The better bumper sticker

LC tries to avoid curse words unless  genuinely funny. Here's an example from  Bluebird of Bitterness.

When Obama isn't 'President'

MSNBC host and Obamabot Chris Matthews has vented about what he characterized as a variety of efforts by Republicans and conservatives to “delegitimize” President Barack Obama. Among the efforts he cited to prove this case are Republicans calling Obama  “Obama,” instead of “The President of the United States,” as if Matthews never referred to President Bush as "Bush."

Barack Obama's Diary: Putin on airs

Dear Diary: These Egyptian dudes are a real pain in the patootie. I backed the ouster of Hosni Mubarak and the subsequent election  of the Muslim Brotherhood's Mohammed Morsi. Now those dudes are talking about freeing Mubarak and they have ousted Morsi and  arrested the leader of the Muslim Brotherhood. Meantime they have trousered several billion in U.S. aid and a flight of F16s. I have threatened to withdraw all aid, but their military doesn't give an Aswan Dam because the Saudis have promised to replace anything we withdraw and Vlad Pootin will be circling like a vulture. He called today, but merely cackled with laughter and hung up. Later I received a copy of Diplomacy for Dummies, by Russex bicycle courier with a card that read: "To BO, from VP."  Bastard. On Thursday, I escape DC again for a bus tour of various colleges to whose kids I will  make extravagant  promises about college fees that the suckers will have to pay back  later in life through raised taxes.  Hope and Change is good for one last airing. But enough about me. 

Want a raise? Try Welfare

 In 35 states welfare benefits pay more than a minimum wage job. In 13 of these states, welfare benefits actually pay more than $15 per hour. A mother of two children living in New York is able to collect $38,004.  --more than the salary of a New York school teacher. [Source]

Oh no...here comes ObamaEd

 Today comes a message from the White House on paying for college: "To create a better bargain for the middle class, we have to fundamentally rethink about how higher education is paid for in this country. We've got to shake up the current system. That's why, starting Thursday, I will be embarking on a bus tour to offer my plan to make college more affordable, tackle rising costs, and improve value for students and their families. My plan includes real reforms that would bring lasting change. They won't all be popular with everyone --including some who've made higher education their business -- but it's past time that more of our colleges work better for the students they exist to serve."  Oh no...more hope and change. [Details]

Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

8/20/13: Patient still highly stressed when I visited him in his family quarters. When I asked what was troubling him, he launched into a rambling monologue about the Egyptians and how they were ignoring his vision for their future.  I asked: "Have you considered that they might have their own ideas about that?" He looked me in astonishment. "Don't be silly,"  he said,"I know muslims from my time in Indonesia. There is no more beautiful sound  on earth than a muezzin calling the faithful to prayer from the minaret of a mosque, except, maybe, the sound of a Maine lobster claw being cracked to release a dense nugget of meat..." Patient became distracted for while,  making chewing noises. Perhaps I need to add delusional  to his diagnosis.--Dictated by Dr. S.H.Rink

Dim crims: Stabbed by high heel

Lincoln, Nebraska, police say 28-year-old Julia Bol and Rebeca Boss, 41, got into an argument  after attending a baby shower. The 3am sidewalk dispute escalated when Bol grabbed one of Boss’s stiletto shoes and “struck Boss in the face with such force that the heel pierced the victim’s cheek. Not content with that,
 Bol then “knocked the victim to the ground and began choking her," police allege.  Boss was treated at a local hospital.  [Source]

Bark Obama's bulletin: Sunny for some

Woof!  It appears that my master and mistress have finally woken up to my need for companionship, duh... They have adopted  another Portuguese waterdog named Sunny, a female who is of no physical  interest to me. A couple years ago I was given an injection, fell asleep and woke up without my nuts. Gee, thanks. But at least I've now  got someone with whom to romp around --we Portuguese water dogs are too well-bred to ever split our infinitives [oops] or commit other basic errors,  unlike my master who mixed up affects and effects on Twitter yesterday. What a cat brain.

Bark Obama's Bulletin: Home again

Woof! It's good to be back at the White House, after that god-forsaken island where there was nothing but golf, golf, and more golf. Here I get treats from the kitchen  and regular trips outside to do my business on the lawn. My master loves to take me out, too, and encourages me to dig up selected vegetables from my mistress's  vegetable garden. A few unearthed broccoli plants  [he detests broccoli] will usually earn me ten minutes' chasing a tennis ball. There was an interesting development today. The doctor whom Valerie Jarrett brought secretly to  Martha's Vineyard a few days ago, was in the private quarters of the White House today and listened patiently as my master stretched out on a sofa and spoke at great length. My master was gabbling about some Russian guy who keeps calling him. My master seemed very vulnerable. Who knew?  Woof!

Journal of Mr Jefferson, a gentleman adrift in time

Gentle Readers, I have made a major breakthrough in understanding this curious future America. A staff member at Monticello left their "computer" on over the weekend so I was able to discover a great deal more  than by simply watching "TV." As a former president myself, I wanted to visit the White House "website"  and peruse the current president's schedule. Upon my word, what a lazy fellow! His first appointment for Monday is at 11 am. I used to begin work upon arising from my bed at dawn. By an ingenious arrangement, my bed  straddled both my study and my bedchamber so I could choose on which side to begin my day. Now, after breakfast,  and a so-called "presidential briefing," the current president appears to have no other appointment than a meeting with independent financial regulators, whatever they might be. And you should see the size of his horseless carriage. Lord bless my soul! .